HAPPY!!!!!
No, nothing happened. I'm not particular happy today. But the last time I looked at my blog, for a split second I thought it said Eulogy instead of Gringaology and I was like whooooooa. Hold the phone, I gotta get back on that gringa horse and turn it around, make it dance like Rafalca Romney
For the last three weeks, my creative juices got replaced by mourning juices. I stopped noticing things, became introspective. Of course, if I would have just carried on like normal, I would be a sociopath.
The other thing is that now it's been almost three months since I got here and I'm getting desensitized to the funny, odd, amusing things I see. Three months ago they slapped me in the face and now I'm just like "Oh, it's just a homeless crackhead sleeping on a pile of 6 trashbags in the middle of the sidewalk next to that man selling mangos."
And so, to kick things off, let's start with a couple fun things that happened this week.
1. My gym today sent me an email telling me that I've only gone twice this month. I sent them an email back saying my grandpa died and then I got the stomach flu and they can go F themselves.
2. My student decided to come out of the closet to me while counting kissing bug eggs in the insectarium. I have never felt so awkward. I dealt with the situation by asking him if he had ever seen the movie Footloose, not the remake, but the original.
3. A guy walking next to me went up to a homeless person sleeping on the street and kicked him. The homeless person woke up, did a little shake, and got up and walked away. Is that something I am allowed to do here? Walk up to people and kick them? I really hope so.
4. Another homeless crackhead eating a chicken leg asked me for money and I smiled at him and kept walking. He spit the chewed chicken in his mouth at me and I caught it with my mouth and then threw a water balloon at him. (part of this story is fantasy, I won't tell you which).
5. I taught one of my Paisa friends all the slang words for pubic hair. My favorite one was bush, because I got to say "like the president."
6. I'm now getting my suitcases searched in both countries every time I travel to Colombia. It used to be just the US side, but now I am getting searched by Colombian officials too. How do I know? They both leave me little notes in my suitcase afterward. I have to say, the Colombian one is much more personalized, with the name of the people who searched my bags and their titles. I think next time I will leave them some muffin mix, to add a little excitement to their day.
