Slutty!Mailman Getou who…

Is the worst mailman

Will steal anybody’s mail if he feels like it. Doesn’t matter if it’s family, close friends, or somebody he really shouldn’t cross. He WILL steal your packages

Klepto with taste. He doesn’t collect and steal junk after all. So he opens all packages before stealing!

If you don’t have something he wants, your mail is shoddily taped back up after he’s obliterated that package 

If you ask him about it, he gives you some bullshit like: “Oh it had to be inspected by customs” or “Yeah there was contraband inside” 

Bought a nice snack crate? Yeah, he’s eating it while he’s driving his route. The rest of your mail is delivered with crumbs all over it

Slutty!Mailman Getou who…

Is not above corruption

Will kick packages labeled ‘fragile’ right out the door to his truck if it’s for someone who’s pissed him off

Will steal the mail of his enemies and throw it in their own garbage cans to ‘send a message’

You just can’t send money in Grimetown. Not while Geto’s working at the mail center. Pockets all cash. Takes checks even though he can’t deposit them, just out of spite

Gojo resorted to putting money in his mailbox, effectively bribing Getou to stop stealing his mail. Getou continues to steal anyways but still pockets the money, blaming it on the other post workers even though he’s literally the only guy on the route

Slutty!Mailman Getou who…

Cannot mind his own business

Opens everyone’s mail and bills just to see what’s going on. Wants to get in on all that drama 

His nosiness is insurance. Trying to complain about your packages that never arrive? Or the many dents in your mailbox? No you aren’t! He’s got dirt on you, don’t even think about it

Also helps him to score with you. Signing up for dating websites? Ordering from spicy websites?  He already knows, and he’s gonna use it to get into those DMs (or preferably in those pants)

Slutty!Mailman Getou who…

Is not well dressed

Walking dress code violation. Top is always unbuttoned. His tiddies are on full display. Rolls up the uniform shorts until they’re booty shorts. Man’s is always double-cheeked up on the clock

Gets away with it because none of the supervisors say anything. They’re too busy ogling his ass and tits

When it’s real hot outside and in the truck, he completely unbuttons his shirt, legit is just half naked in there, delivering mail like that

He uses his job to pick up chicks, without shame. Handsome/pretty new grimetown resident moves in? He’s hand delivering their mail to make his move

Slutty!Mailman Getou who…

Uses his job to get in your pants. 

Gets added to your route as soon as you move in, making him the first slimeball you meet

Makes you sign for all your packages even though you definitely don’t need to

The fucking sign sheet is a blank copy of a lease agreement, pilfered out of Sukuna’s mailbox, but you don’t notice. Your focus is all on this slimeball in uniform

Complains that the packages were super heavy (they weren’t) and the heat is killing him, prompting you to invite him into your home to cool off

One thing leads to another and the sexual tension rises dangerously high between you and him

Dips his fingers in you... and your wallet on his way out, robbing you of both your dignity and your cash

No one in Grimetown is safe from Slutty Postman! Getou. 

I picked out the initial sets of matches by who might fight a coworker (line cook v line cook, barista v barista), alt versions of the same characters (hooters!toji v toji joes!toji), who would have beef (gravedigger!maki v mall cop!mai)

I wish I could’ve done a bigger bracket for ALL the slimeballs, but I had to pare it down or else it would’ve been insane.

If you look at the qualifying round, there’s no match 13. That’s because we had 2 tag team contenders and that made it unfair, so I pitted the tag team winners against each other.

Qualifying Round Match Comments

I love that Choso beat Eren bc I hc that his brothers went to tire Eren out before the match to give Choso a leg up

Naoya getting taken out by Recovery Girl both in the ring and on the streets. Man just keeps toting L’s

I saw Sasuke getting swept from the get go bc he’s pathetic sorry not sorry

Postman!Geto beating Hairstylist!Geto was a late game win like idk what happened

I really thought Crossing Guard!Nanami would beat Hot Cop!Nanami bc every crossing guard I’ve met is genuinely terrifying and would fight a god

Hooters!Toji is used to beating off creeps, so it was a foregone conclusion that he’d beat the Toji Joes!Toji tbh

I’m sad that my boy WooWoo got knocked out in the first round, but it’s correct. McDonald’s employees are like Waffle House employees iibh

The Sanji and Zoro sweeps I stg are due to @thus-spoke-lo like please go look at their tags for those polls bc they’re so good

The absolute sweep that was Maki v Mai genuinely makes me happy because I hc that she just took her out w a shovel (the same one she lends to Shigure)

Megumi beating Gojo had me SHOOK I totally expected Gojo to sweep, but I’m not even mad bc I love Gumi

Opening Round Match Comments

Honestly, there weren’t really any surprises here?

Except the aforementioned @thus-spoke-lo sway bc my riceball boy got ROBBED /hj

Sweet Sixteen Match Comments

I feel like Choso won just bc Kishibe tried to inspect his ‘studio’ and had a heart attack

Toji v Geto really was the battle of the sluts and I was surprised Geto won

Toji v Aki was our last minute nail biter that I mentioned btw. It literally didn’t get decided until the LAST 60 SECONDS

I loved the idea of Toji v Maki given their canon info (iykyk)

I’ll post the notes for the Elite Eight, Final Four, and Championship once those have been decided!