#grievousend

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐏 𝐅𝐀𝐍 / @grievousend​ said: “ you can’t keep this bottled up inside you forever. what’s wrong? ” / from steve

"𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊." a rapt fist is tossed into the weight of a punching bag. it is precisely how she’s choosing to release the ‘this’ he’s deciding to bring up now, the ‘this’ she refuses to speak of. to him, to anyone who dare ask. not that people often did —  ever since she was young, they all had garnered their own assumptions, and she’d let them. they didn’t deserve to know the intimate details. they didn’t need to understand the horrors that crawl beneath her skin. and she didn’t need them, anyway. any of them.

𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇. / @grievousend​​ asked: “ you gonna tell me what’s going on with you? ” / from aaron

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐍 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁. she doesn’t bow her head, nor furrow a brow but rather the expression played across her visage is that of true irritation —  at his question, sure, but at this particular moment in time? the sheer fact of his existence seems to be the root of the her misfortunes.  she doesn’t owe him anything: not a word, not a breath, certainly not a single explanation nor discussion about what may or may not have been ‘going on’. there’s a fragment of her, however small, that knows he means well, even if only to keep sight of his own interests.

James   is   silent,   allowing   the   commander   to   sift   through   what   she   needs   to   in   order   to   really   consider   what   he’s   proposing.   It’s   not   about   him      —      or   even   her!   It’s   about   them,   as   a   whole.   What   they   represent   is   not   lost   on   the   young   lieutenant   and   he   hopes   that   Shepard   can   see   that.   They’ve   been   at   this   for   too   long   without   even   the   slightest   hint   of   a   break.   And   God   knows   they   need   a   break.  

              Keeping   his   stance   purely   neutral,   Vega’s   head   cants   a   mite   as   he   tries   to   read   his   commanding   officer.   She’s   the   best   soldier   he’s   ever   seen.   But   Alice   Shepard   is   so   much   more   than   that.   He’d   met   her   at   a   low   point,   serving   as   some   sort   of   pathetic   babysitter   for   the   decorated   officer   after   she   had   made   a   painfully   impossible   decision   regarding   a   Batarian   colony.   James   never   asked      —      he   didn’t   need   to.   In   his   heart,   he   knows   she   made   the   best   of   a   bad   choice.

The   expression   that   transforms   the   commander’s   features   is   one   that   allows   Vega   to   exhale   and   smile.   His   eyes   light   up   and   he   closes   the   distance   between   them,   placing   his   large   hands   on   Shepard’s   shoulders.               “   You   won’t   be   disappointed,   Lola      —      ¡lo   prometo!   The   only   question   is   .   .   .   do   we   set   it   up   in   the   lounge   where   we’re   all   crammed   in   like   sardines   or   .   .   .   do   we   make   it   happen   down   here,   in   the   bay?   ”

              Lifting   his   hands   from   her   shoulders,   Vega   brings   his   left   arm   toward   him,   omnitool   lighting   up.               “   I’m   thinkin’   a   couple   of   days   should   give   us   enough   time   to   get   shit   sorted.   I’m   lettin’   Esteban   and   Traynor   know   now   .   .   .   Williams,   Scars,   Sparks   .   .   .   fuck   it      —      everyone   on   this   ship   is   invited.   Which   leads   me   to   believe   that   the   shuttle   bay   is   the   best   place   to   accommodate   everyone,   no?   ”

  Shepard can recount every single day of her six-month ‘house arrest’ under lock and key in Vancouver; she had gone stir-crazy after returning from a goddamn suicide mission, with every member of her crew alive and mostly well. The Alpha Relay had been an impossible choice - to lose the lives of thousands to try and delay the inevitable demise of billions. One could even argue her history with batarians against her - but they never got the chance to take it to court before the reapers hit.

   Months later, unifying the galaxy takes its toll on the great Commander; a soldier burdened with diplomatic efforts has come at personal cost. Loss, grief, and nightmares haunt the woman who bears the weight of the world on her broad shoulders. Despite being from the colonies, leaving Earth was another tough decision, but a necessary one - one that she can remember telling the bulwark of a Lieutenant they had to do and if he didn’t like it, he could catch a ride back from the Citadel. 

  Yet, he remained - much like the rest of the Normandy’s loyal, faithful crew. 

   “I think...” Shepard’s smile slowly widens, stretching that scar that marks her as an individual, a cut above the rest. “The cargo bay will be our best bet. Besides, I’m all for club dancing and being up against each other but... I think avoiding drunk fraternization like that would be best. Wouldn’t want anyone to make too big of a mistake, y’know?” Here, she laughs. She’d be a hypocrite otherwise (and they all know where her feelings lie about that kind of reg in the middle of a goddamn war). She watches the glow of James’ omni-tool cast the soft orange light on his prominent features.