@grgori / ☆
soul tries not to visibly deflate -- after all, how had he expected her to respond when confronted with such a brash outburst ? the reality is that he hadn’t exercised any caution or forethought, letting his impulsivity get the better of him before considering any possible outcomes. he doesn’t care whether or not she reciprocates his feelings, though perhaps outright rejection would be easier than this; easier than watching her cry, easier than explaining himself. he feels selfish, impudent -- he put his own need to confess before maka rather than valuing how such a situation might affect her. idiot. he very likely just ruined their wavelength, their relationship, their future, all for the sake of admitting his feelings. ( pathetic ! coward ! why would you tell her now ? couldn’t it have waited ? )
alternatively, a part of him believes that she deserves to know the truth. another part of him thinks that he had stated the obvious, though her reaction tells him otherwise. she is the only person who has ever mattered to him, and this is how he repays her for that ?
he opens his mouth just to close it a moment later. he wants more than anything to wipe her tears, to tell her that it doesn’t matter and that things should stay how they were before his confession, but he knows better than to try to comfort her. that would just make upset her further, twisting the blade in her chest. and she’s always been strong enough on her own. but is there not strength in admitting weakness ? is there no value in allowing someone else to hold one’s heart in their hands, if only for a moment ? but what would soul know of such matters ?
❛ maka ... i’m sorry. i should’ve just ... ❜ he can’t lose her. he reaches for her tentatively but retracts his hand. ❛ kept quiet. ❜ but he didn’t think he could stay silent much longer, not with his heart speaking her name so loudly and unremittingly. ❛ i should’ve spared you that, at least. ❜














