#greybreak

*Flashback*

Willow

Another shift. Willow didn’t mind the cafe much at all, the constant dance of people in the midst of their days was fascinating to her. It seemed like everyone had a story to tell, and she loved trying to figure it out. 

She had her regulars, taking pride in learning their names and their usual order, but it was the strangers she seemed to enjoy the most. 

The night was slowing down so Willow decided to start cleaning the machine in the lull so it would ready to go when the last rush of the night came. She filled the nearby bucket with a good amount of hot water and added some soap, before turning to start on the machine. As she started, the door swung open. 

A stranger. She was sure of it because he had a look she couldn’t ignore. He was tall and muscular, with a tanned complexion and eyes so light they almost seemed to have hints of grey weaved into them. Her heart started to beat faster, and her cheeks even flushed a bit, as he stared at her and walked towards the counter. 

“Hi,” He said confidently, smiling at her

“Oh, HI!” She said, a bit too enthusiastically. Her cheeks flushed more and she could feel the heat from them inching to the base of her neck. His voice as strong and mysterious, a combination that had her head spinning. 

“umm, this is my first time here,” he said. “What’s good to order?”

“Oh, well I’ve tried just about everything,” she laughed nervously. Calming herself she tried to steady her breathing and try and match his effortless confidence. 

“I think my favorite, for a day like today, would be a cold brew with a hint of vanilla,” She pointed at the menu so that she had something to do with her hands and could focus herself for a minute. 

“Well, I trust you,” He said. “I’ll take that”

His voice was so steady, his demeanor so comfortable, that she caught herself just staring back at him, taking him in.  She wanted to know more about him, wanted to hear his stories and learn all about him. Who is this man that was having such an effect on her 

“Is...is that ok?” He asked looking around a bit unsure. 

She snapped herself back to reality and gave a nervous giggle. “Of course!” She said loudly and focused her attention back to her work, pulling a large blue mug out from underneath her and gathering her ingredients. 

He watched her as she worked, and just feeling his eyes on her made her feel beautiful and also nervous. 

“I’m Parker, by the way” He said, leaning over the counter just slightly. 

“Willow” she said back. 

“Willow,” he repeated. Then, a little quieter, as if just to himself, “Willow”

Grey Break LP Posted every Monday/Wednesday/Friday at noon!

*Flashback*

Parker snuck into the house through the back door, seeing his father’s car in the driveway as he walked up to his house. 

He knew that in most situations that involved his Dad, it was better to not be seen or heard. Creping up the stairs, he got to the landing without a sound, years of practice being invisible has made him practically a pro at going unnoticed.  Slipping into his room, he let out a deep breath and eased himself into the stark surroundings. 

He looked over at his homework but didn’t feel the motivation to actually open it up. Instead, he hopped onto his computer and checked the forums. 

XDarkParkX was his online persona, and through it, he felt like he actually fit in somewhere. Discussing games or trolling other users made him feel like he mattered in a way.

 At school, he was bullied. At home, he was ignored and ridiculed. But here, he was someone. He had a voice that was heard. 

Over the last few years, Parker as able to build up an online persona that demanded respect. When he spoke, people finally listened, and it fueled him to keep pushing the boundaries.

Soon enough, he heard the quiet footsteps coming up the stairs outside his doorway and quickly closed the browser and brought up a standard research page he had bookmarked for these moments. His Dad was opening his door just as the page loaded.

A quiet man, he sat down on Parker’s bed, taking a moment before speaking. 

“What are you working on?” He asked. 

Parker felt the heat rising in his stomach. These conversations always started out the same way. He could practically track the exact course before it even happened. 

“Homework,” He grumbled. 

A pause.  A sigh. 

(Check)

“I got a call from your principal again. He said you’re failing 3 courses” He said slowly

“Only 3?”, Parker challenged, continuing to navigate the website, pretending to show interest in the images on his screen. 

Silence. 

(check)

Parker’s Dad never used excessive words, never spoke without thought. It’s almost like he only gave himself an allotted amount of words per day and didn’t want to waste them. There were days where he barely said anything at all. In those moments Parker always tried to push him to anger, relishing in the flow of language that escaped him with a sense of pride that he could push him past his normal limits. Today was no exception. 

“Parker,” He yelled throwing his hands up and punctuating his words as anger took hold of his usual calm demeanor. “When are you going to grow up and face the real world?”

Parker’s heard it all before. He learned long ago that he could never live up to his father's expectations of him. That, when held to that standard, he always felt like he was failing. So, knowing he could never be the best, he strived instead to be the worst. It was easier to live up the expectation that you would always screw things up. 

He shrugged, pushed his chair back and walked out of the room, leaving his dad’s expectations and disappoints behind him, and left the house. 

He didn’t know where he was going, he just knew he needed to get out of there. Walking through his neighboorhood, he dreamt of the day he could move out of that house and leave behind the feelings of never being good enough. 

He didn’t have the grades, he didn’t have a job or a plan, but he knew that staying in that house would kill him. 

He noticed a small cafe up ahead, newly built just a few months back. He never went inside before, always preferring being held up in his room than the company of strangers. But, he was starving and needed something to calm his nerves, so he made his way towards it. 

The cafe was made out of a converted shipping container and was actually pretty cool. He felt drawn inside, the bright colors catching his eyes and almost pulling him towards it. 

Swinging the door open, he noticed the girl barista behind the counter and couldn’t help but smile...

*Flashback*

Willow came in and dropped her backpack off at the door, slipping her shoes off as she ran up the stairs, two at a time. Swinging open the door, she took a deep breath and let the day fall away from her. High school can be so draining and demanding, taking pieces of her throughout the day. But, here, in this space, she got each piece back and found herself at peace again. 

 She sat at her keyboard, which cost her 4 months worth of paychecks from the cafe, and even then, it was secondhand. She liked the idea of it being used before and often found herself thinking about who might have used it? Did they find the home in it that she did? What were they trying to escape?

She started to play, letting her thoughts slip away as the music took her away. 

Time fell away and before she knew it, her phone alarm was buzzing away, signaling it was time to head to the cafe for her shift. 

 She worked everyday after school and was able to get an 8 hour shift on Saturdays. It was more than what was allowed while she was in school but the owner paid her under the table and was happy to have an employee like Willow, so it benefited them both. 

For as long as she could remember, she felt the need to flee this town. She just seemed to know, even as a kid, that it couldn’t fit her dreams inside the small borders and that every day it would try and close in on her more and more. 

It’s what happened to her mother. A beautiful, talented writer that worked double shifts at the hospital to keep her daughters in nice clothes and the lights on. She came home late, exhausted and worn, her laugh lines fading as her stress started to take over. 

It was never her plan, but when a heart attack took her husband early, she put away her notebooks and journals and went to work at the hospital, rising up as far as he could without a college education. Now the director of patient care, she works long hours, for ample pay, and goes to sleep after her daughters with unwritten stories and words stuck inside her. 

Willow wanted more. 

So, she worked all she could an tried her best to keep up with her school work on top of it. She saved every penny, knowing it was her ticket out of here and the other way to ensure her words and music wouldn’t go unheard.

Her shift ended at 9pm and she made her way home to grab a sandwich and do her homework before falling into bed for the night. 

It would be hours before her older sister came home, working long shifts at the diner now that she had graduated. Her mother would come in well after midnight some nights. It as lonely, but they all were doing the best they could. The house may be quiet most days, but it was bright and full of love. 

Willow just couldn’t help but think, “There’s got to be more”

 The days continued just like before. Willow would wait eagerly for Parker to leave for work, planning her day to the minute to keep up with her two lives right now. 

The moment she would watch Parkers car fade into the distance, she would run downstairs and start painting. 

By Friday, she had four paintings finished and felt content with her progress. Since it was only 11 when she finished up, she decided it might be nice to go for a walk and clear her head before getting onto her house chores for the afternoon. 

On her walk, she noticed a few collectibles along her usual route and started thinking. 

“I could harvest a few of these on my route, and add them to my sales table,” she thought. Even if they didn’t sell at the flea market, there was the farmers market on Wednesday that she was sure had a few farmers that would purchase them from her. Every bit counted. 

Within an hour, she had more than she could carry and headed back to the house. At this point it was almost 1pm, so she cleaned herself up and set ahead on the housework and making dinner. 

Everyday just the same, a continual dance that she couldn’t want to step out of. It would take weeks, maybe months, to save all she needed to make a new life for herself, but she knew she could do it. She did it once before, and this time she wouldn’t be relying on anyone but herself. 

She heard the car door slam outside just as she plated dinner. She knew by the door slams that Parker wasn’t going to be in a good mood. She put on her best face and smiled at him as he walked in. 

Grumbling, he sat down and instantly starting eating, complaining about work and all the injustices he felt from the day. He shared his burdens with such fervency that it almost seemed as if he was trying to physically shed them off himself and onto to Willow. 

  Willow listened as she cleaned dishes, her mind wandering to her plans and checklists and dreaming of her life outside these grey walls. 

To be Continued.... 

Part 5 coming FRIDAY! 

Willow made her way into the room, having pushed the large shelf unit out of the way just far enough to open the worn wooden door. The brightness seemed to shine straight out of the room and onto her face, forcing her to close her eyes for a minute before soaking it in. The rich yellows were such a contrast to the grey tones of her everyday life, that it often made a gasp catch in her throat when she opened her eyes and settled on its beauty. 

It was like breathing again. 

It started so slowly, this oasis. A box here and there when she was feeling lonely or lost. But as the weeks went on, turning easily into months, and her secret remained safe, she got braver. 

And now.. well... it was as if her heart was kept locked in this room, unable to be touched by the harsh realities around her. 

Now, this room would be her escape plan. She dusted off her old easel and laid a blank canvas on it’s splintered wooden frame. Taking a breath to steady herself, she dipped a brush into paint and lost herself in its movements. 

Before she realized it, the painting was done and revealed itself in front of her.

“One down”, She thought. It was like a small step forward and it made her feel hope for the first time in a while. 

Looking at the clock, she felt panic rising up though. Only an hour before Parker would be home. She quickly locked the door behind her, tucking the key behind the washer, and moving the shelf back in its place. She took one more long look around, making sure everything looked correct before settling herself back into character and starting up the stairs. 

Cleaning, cooking and making a presentable home. 

Those were her duties and they wore on her slowly over the years. But tonight, each task felt a little easier, as she thought about the paint drying and hardening on the canvas below her feet, and how every stroke brought her closer. 

To be continued...