Talking about this has led to lengthy posts on Asks and other platforms… which haven't always been read, and I hate repeating myself, just as I see everything as an evolution. This third blog, which hasn't been deleted without warning or marked entirely as Adult without heeding my appeals, I consider the same blog, or the idea I had for a single blog, now more polished by previous failures. That's why I've moved texts from the previous one to this one, and it also inherits the intention of explaining how I see Grey and why I think it's important. But now I'll tell it differently.

Contar de eso ha dado para largos textos en Asks o en otros formatos… que no siempre se han leído, y detesto repetirme, lo mismo que veo todo como una evolución. Este tercer blog que no ha sido borrado sin avisar, o marcado como Adult entero sin atender mis apelaciones, lo considero el mismo blog o la idea que tenía para hacer uno solo que ahora más pulida por los fracasos anteriores. Por eso he pasado textos del anterior a este y también hereda la intención de explicaros como veo yo a Grey y por qué me parece importante. Pero ahora lo contaré de manera distinta.

I'll do it with a series of posts instead of trying to do it all in one long post. Short texts in very visual posts with photos tend to be read more, and I like to have an idea of ​​what I'm going to talk about but not how I'll do it, the order, or everything that a collection of posts on the subject will contain. It's the same mental trick I use to motivate myself to study for the P series, for example. Will I be able to fill fifty posts with Grey's Anatomy wonders now? That sounds like a challenge!

Lo haré con una serie de posts en vez de intentar sucesivamente hacerlo para siempre en uno solo. Los textos cortos en posts muy visuales con fotos suelen ser más leídos y me gusta tener una idea de lo que voy a tratar pero no cómo lo haré, su orden o todo lo que contendrá una colección de posts sobre ello. Es el mismo truco mental que uso para motivarme a estudiar para la serie de P, por ejemplo. ¿Podré ahora llenar cincuenta posts con maravillas de Grey? ¡Eso suena a reto!

There's one last thing to explain, and that's the name of the series, or why I set a goal of fifty. It's another joke, or rather, an Easter egg. Grey's mother, as the actress told us, was convinced that the title of the famous bestseller, 50 Shades of Grey, used her stage name not by chance, but as a marketing ploy, without paying her daughter for it. And I found the idea hilarious… which might even be true. The rest just fell into place. Shades? She brings light and splendor, and the most interesting thing: not as directly related to the adult entertainment industry as you might assume. But I won't give away any spoilers, as this post has already become much longer than I intended. Okay? Until the next numbered post in the series, ciao!

Vanessa Grigoriadis, who profiled Taylor Swift for the cover of Rolling Stone, sees some similarities between these two very different young stars. "There are interesting comparisons between two women who are incredibly precocious for their age, very determined, ambitious and convinced that their point of view is correct and that what they do is liberating for women," says Grigoriadis. "They are both very clear that what they do is feminist, although Sasha's case is completely different from Taylor's." Grey, a fan of 70s cinema and a bohemian who avoids listening to the radio, confessed to Grigoriadis that she had never even heard of Taylor Swift.

Vanessa Grigoriadis, quien escribió el perfil de Taylor Swift para la portada de Rolling Stone, ve algunas similitudes entre estas dos jóvenes estrellas tan dispares. «Hay comparaciones interesantes entre dos mujeres increíblemente precoces para su edad, muy decididas, ambiciosas y convencidas de que su punto de vista es el correcto y de que lo que hacen es liberador para las mujeres», afirma Grigoriadis. «Ambas tienen muy claro que lo que hacen es feminista, aunque el caso de Sasha sea completamente diferente al de Taylor». Grey, una apasionada del cine de los años 70 y bohemia que evita escuchar la radio, le confesó a Grigoriadis que ni siquiera había oído hablar de Taylor Swift.

"For me, the most important thing about her is her impact on feminism," concludes Grigoriadis. "Pornography has been one of the most divisive issues in feminism because it strikes a chord with many women. They are men's fantasies, and of course it is better to live them through porn than to try to carry them out in real life, but the truth is that reality is affected. Gray says: 'If you look at me and think, "Here is an intelligent, conscious woman who makes her own decisions," and yet you tell me that what I do is wrong, go to hell, because that should settle the debate.’”

«Para mí, lo más importante de ella es su impacto en el feminismo», concluye Grigoriadis. “La pornografía ha sido uno de los temas más divisivos del feminismo porque toca una fibra sensible en muchas mujeres. Son las fantasías de los hombres, y claro que es mejor vivirlas a través de la pornografía que intentar llevarlas a cabo en la vida real, pero lo cierto es que la realidad se ve afectada. Grey dice: ‘Si me miras y piensas: “Aquí hay una mujer inteligente, consciente y que toma sus propias decisiones”, y aun así me dices que lo que hago está mal, vete al diablo, porque eso debería zanjar el debate’”.

As the reference to the human condition suggests, Grey is particularly interested in exploring physical and psychological limits through a range of subcultural creative modes. Grey founded aTelecine, an experimental psychedelic death dub band. On social media, she displays her interest in social disintegration and chaotic anti-meaning, tweeting, for example, her enthusiasm for the 1970s Dadaist performance collective COUM Transmissions and, elsewhere, brandishing the book Existentialism, from Dostoevsky to Sartre, with a knowing smile.

Como sugiere la referencia a la condición humana, Grey está particularmente interesada en la exploración de los límites físicos y psicológicos a través de una gama de modos creativos subculturales. Grey fundó aTelecine, una banda experimental de death dub psicodélico. En las redes sociales, muestra su interés por la desintegración social y el antisentido caótico, tuiteando, por ejemplo, su entusiasmo por el colectivo de performance dadaísta COUM Transmissions de la década de 1970 y, en otros lugares, blandiendo el libro Existencialismo, desde Dostoievski hasta Sartre, con una sonrisa cómplice.

Her 2011 photographic collection, Neu Sex, which features interspersed texts on visual culture and sex work, was created, Grey explains, as a companion to commercial pornography performances over which she had less aesthetic control. Alongside fashionable photos of Grey looking beautiful in extravagant settings, the book focuses primarily on rejecting the artificial glamour of pornographic culture, instead showing the sordid and decaying reality of sexual bodies.

Su colección fotográfica de 2011, Neu Sex, que presenta textos intercalados sobre cultura visual y trabajo sexual, creada, explica Grey, como acompañamiento a las performances de pornografía comercial sobre las que tenía menos control estético. Junto a fotos fashionistas de Grey luciendo hermosa en escenarios extravagantes, el libro se centra principalmente en rechazar el glamour artificial de la cultura pornográfica, mostrando en cambio la realidad sórdida y descompuesta de los cuerpos sexuales.

Through these mediums, Grey demonstrates her interest in existential thresholds; her 2013 erotic trilogy, The Juliette Society, is also replete with references to French sadomasochistic cinema and literature, and to Freudian psychoanalysis. This affinity for what Leo Bersani calls “ecstatic suffering,” “the enjoyment of exploited limits” that occurs “when a human being is ‘pushed’ beyond a certain threshold,” provides context for understanding Grey’s work in adult film, and why the raw intensity of gonzo constitutes a particularly well-suited film style for her. However, it also situates her within a more alternative pornographic tradition, where the creation of pornography is conceived as a potentially intelligent and creative process that constitutes only one creative avenue within a “broader interest in cultural and lifestyle issues” (Attwood 2010, 2).

A través de estos medios, Grey demuestra su interés por los umbrales existenciales; su trilogía erótica de 2013, The Juliette Society, también está llena de referencias al cine y la literatura francesa sadomasoquista y al psicoanálisis freudiano. Esta simpatía por lo que Leo Bersani llama el «sufrimiento extático», «el goce de los límites explotados» que se produce «cuando un ser humano es «presionado» más allá de cierto umbral», proporciona un contexto para entender el trabajo de Grey en el cine para adultos, el por qué la cruda intensidad del gonzo constituye un estilo fílmico particularmente adecuado para Grey. Sin embargo, también la sitúa dentro de una tradición pornográfica más alternativa, donde la creación de pornografía se concibe como un proceso potencialmente inteligente y creativo que constituye solo una vía creativa dentro de un «interés más amplio en cuestiones culturales y de estilo de vida» (Attwood 2010, 2).

It is this blend of dominant elements from both alternative porn and gonzo that has been fundamental to Grey’s relevance. The New York Times, for example, describes the artist as “distinguished both by the extreme demands of what she is willing to do and by an unusual degree of intellectual seriousness in doing it” (Heyman 2011); Rolling Stone similarly states that Grey “rose to fame because of the intensity of her scenes and the intelligence with which she defended her right to film them” (Morris 2014). She is described as “the first Hollywood porn star in the internet age to conceive of pornography and self-degradation as postmodern art” (Tavana, 2016). While the androcentrism associated with gonzo and the often feminist ethical logic of much alternative pornography imply that these styles are often understood as fundamentally opposed, Grey demonstrated important ways in which they could overlap. In fact, in his exploration Grey proposes a way in which an alternative gonzo could operate, defining his performances as deliberate and aesthetic explorations of bodily (sexual) limits, turning many of the dominant characteristics of gonzo into expressions of his particular artistic vision.

Es esta mezcla de elementos dominantes tanto del porno alternativo como del gonzo lo que ha sido fundamental para la relevancia de Grey. El New York Times describe a la artista, por ejemplo, como «distinguida tanto por la extrema exigencia de lo que está dispuesta a hacer como por un grado inusual de seriedad intelectual al hacerlo» (Heyman 2011); Rolling Stone afirma de manera similar que Grey «saltó a la fama gracias a la intensidad de sus escenas y a la inteligencia con la que defendió su derecho a filmarlas» (Morris 2014). Se la describe como «la primera estrella porno de Hollywood en la era de internet que concibe la pornografía y la autodegradación como arte posmoderno» (Tavana, 2016). Si bien el androcentrismo asociado al gonzo y la lógica ética a menudo feminista de gran parte de la pornografía alternativa implican que estos estilos se entienden a menudo como fundamentalmente opuestos, Grey demostró importantes maneras en que podrían superponerse. De hecho, en su exploración Grey propone una forma en que podría operar un gonzo alternativo, definiendo sus performances como exploraciones deliberadas y estéticas de los límites corporales (sexuales), convirtiendo muchas de las características dominantes del gonzo en expresiones de su particular visión artística.

And she said then:

Her (natural!) body and her mind, intelligence. Her smile and smirk. Fearlesness, she does whatever she wants and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. Creativity, she always has a lot of ideas and passion for it. Taste in music, films, books. Not pretending being a celebrity. Simplicity. That punk rock spirit in her, she will always be my punk girl. Cuteness. Her style, taste in clothes. Charisma. Taste of humor, she is funny as hell. Positivity, she looks like a shiny happy human being and at the same time makes you happier.

We don't know much about Greta, nor can we be sure that's her real name, although we have no reason to doubt it. We do know from her blog that she was born and still lived in a certain former Soviet republic, and that Grey was a reference point, an inspiration, and a personal beacon to which she dedicated her blog while it was active.

The blog wasn't about Greta; it wasn't a personal blog, nor did it discuss how that identification or reference helped her. What we know comes from small references here and there in her posts. She posted photos of Grey, GIFs she made herself, and answered Ask questions, providing details about Grey that people asked for. Through Greta, I learned what Grey did for my Barcelona by performing here. Greta kept us informed about her band aTelecine and had to deal with the same inquisitive gentlemen as I did, those who didn't understand why all that had to be interesting to anyone and why there weren't more photos of her without clothes. People who ask me to stop writing so they can post pictures of you in the shower, or who accuse you of running a religious cult around an adult film actress on your blog. That kind of idiot.

I have to admit that I've slept with people who have affected my intellectual and emotional life less than Greta, with her unusual approach to Fan Blogging She, like Grey, had no problem with her adult work or with people interested in Ask or comments in that area. She would answer them when they wanted to know about this or that detail of her adult work, but she was there to discuss other aspects of Grey that weren't usually considered. I don't think I've ever clearly stated that Grey's interest in different electronic music led me to listen to the bands she referenced. I think that's clear from reading my posts with a little attention, but what I've never revealed is that it was Greta who pointed out Grey's interest to me, and I'm still following the path she showed me with her work, one sleepless summer night in July 2024. I was fleeing my bad thoughts, the idle insomnia of someone consumed by uncertainty, chasing a good GIF of Grey, going from one blog to another that was reblogging, and I ended up on hers, where, as I said, she posted the GIFs—dressed, everyday, and sometimes political—that she made with footage of her, in a similar kind of "archaeology" to mine for her blog.

You've seen GIFs made by Greta; I use them almost every day on my blog, and they've been circulating on Tumblr and Twitter for over a decade, without referencing their origin or the artist, as if they were religious imagery (and in a way they are, strange as that may sound). But it's not fair. We owe a lot to Greta, who also found time to do something similar for Stoya on another blog. Greta's activity lasted long enough for me to see her encouraging other girls on Tumblr to fearlessly express their admiration for Grey. It was on blogs—"Greta-inspired?"—that I also felt emboldened and learned how to do what I do with my own blog today. And on top of all that, Greta left us with a series of sweet gifts that almost make me cry with tenderness when I remember them, like when she compiled audio clips of Grey laughing, hoping to share his happiness with us, and then wrote an apology for being such a fangirl. It was silly and naive, but also beautiful and a different way of engaging with celebrities like that on social media. But Grey was never your typical adult film star…

Nor was Greta's blog a typical fan blog with its limited, male-centric, and masculinizing perspective. We all owe Greta so much, and I want to put it in writing (even though you'll never read this, wherever you are, unaware of my existence) that this series on my blog isn't so much dedicated to Grey as it is to you for your work. Thank you for everything. You gave me so much more than just GIFs or linked interviews. I wish our accounts and blogs had been active at the same time. Thank you!!!