#greenapricot

Fool Enough To Stay mostly consists of my musings about the parallels between the finale of S3 and S5 at the moment (which I keep yelling about, to everyone’s annoyance). I often forget how depressing the ending of S3 actually is, at least from Jimmy’s POV—Cassie’s leaving, The Hug™ happens, Duncan makes his little speech about Jimmy re-joining the human race and then he’s off, moving back in with Mary, so Jimmy is suddenly all alone and on his own. I personally think that Duncan leaves in that moment because he feels like he has missed yet another moment. And now he thinks that he has to make way for Jimmy’s new relationship with Asha whilst also trying to be the man that he thinks Jimmy would want him to be, i.e. someone who doesn’t give up on important things like marriage too soon. Fool Enough To Stay is then set directly after the last episode of S5 and it starts with Jimmy and Duncan eating pizza and getting a little bit drunk. 😏 Fuelled by Dutch courage, Duncan tries to find out what exactly Jimmy meant by his don’t go. As in, is Jimmy actually asking him to stay or is it rather about not-leaving? Does Jimmy want Duncan to stay in Shetland simply because it might be inconvenient for Cassie if he left? Or does he just want him to stay because he doesn’t like change and doesn’t want to be alone? Or does he deliberately want Duncan in his house and life? So these are the questions that Duncan and I want to tackle 😃 The title is inspired by Brian Fallon’s Low Love which has been on my Jimmy/Duncan playlist for a while.

Tidal Islands is one of the fics we came up with together. It’s the There Is Just One Bed fic—Jimmy and Duncan are on Fair Isle to celebrate Cassie’s graduation and Mary Perez makes them share a room because they’re short of space. Being back on Fair Isle together causes them to accidentally confront That Thing between them—the thing that goes back a long way, from their teenage romance to raising a daughter together to accidentally settling into domestic bliss and essentially growing old together. In my head it’s already quite an elaborate story and it will be an extremely self-indulgent one. Among the first bits I wrote was

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jimmy breathes, “I need you to be really sure about this, Duncan.” “I’m not sure it’s ever been a good idea, but it’s also only ever been you.”

and I think I’ll aim for that kind of ‘conflict’ between Jimmy’s careful fear and Duncan’s dead devotion (see what I did there) to be at the core of this story. (Except that it’s not really an issue of opposing attitudes, there’s plenty of fear and devotion on both sides to go around)

The title is taken from the poem Orkney / This Life by Andrew Greig. Fair Isle is neither Orcadian nor a tidal island, but I still think it fits perfectly for them, especially the second stanza:

It is the way you lean to me and the way I lean to you, as if we are each other’s prevailing; how we connect along our shores, the way we are tidal islands joined for hours then inaccessible

Thank you for the prompt! This was fun. Perhaps there will be more of it one day.

The forum was the first place she had seen him. Back before she called it “the forum.”. She had taken to calling it that in her mind in all the years that followed because that was what he had called it. In all honesty it was not a forum, that would imply a back and forth, an exchange of dissenting ideas that The Kingdom would never officially allow. He had been perched on the marble steps at Lucifer’s side, echoing each thrilling point, less charming but more persuasive than Lucifer had ever been. She had wanted to stay and listen, but he had terrified her. It was before they’d had any conception of falling, before The Fall with a capital F, and yet she had felt it for him, felt it coming in a way that she struggled to describe to herself years later. Whenever she tried the closest she could come was the feeling of missing a step that you expected to be there. The split second before your feet are righted on solid ground had been what it was like that first time she had seen Freddie, before that was his name and before she had loved him.

I was tagged by @greenapricot Thanks, Pri! 💕

These are all working titles (and some are little more than a title and a summary/general idea 🙈) and it’s been a while since I’ve worked on any of them *hides face* But these are all more or less curent ones, i.e. ones that I have not abandoned and am determined to pick up again and finish at some point. Also in order of last modified:

Before It Gets Light

Here Is Where My Love Lays

Tidal Islands

Inside of My Years, Inside of My Bones

Fool Enough To Stay

Thank you for sending these, Pri, and I’m sorry it took me so long to answer. I’m not really in a Lewis mood at the moment, so I will focus on the Jimmy & Duncan questions. 😊 Once I’m not absolutely sick of Laurence’s face anymore, I might get back to the Lewis ones as well.

6. What is their favourite feature of their partner’s?

I assume this is about physical features? Duncan loves Jimmy’s shoulders (and the way they look in his jumpers) and his eyes. His broad shoulders make it seem as if Jimmy is towering over Duncan whenever he stands with folded arms in front of him, although there’s only a small height difference between them, and Duncan is secretly very into that. I guess he just enjoys knowing that Jimmy could pin him to the wall whenever he wants to…

Jimmy has a thing for Duncan’s hands and forearms and loves watching him do stuff with his sleeves rolled up, like cooking or playing his guitar. You’ll also catch him staring at Duncan’s chest whenever his partner is wearing his shirt unbuttoned and you can see a hint of chest hair. 😏

9. Who worries the most?

Duncan. Jimmy can be quite a worrier, especially when it comes to Cassie, but his worrying is most often caused by/related to specific situations, like Cassie staying out for too long or moving to Brazil, etc. As Duncan points out in S5, Jimmy is an “optimist at heart” and as Jimmy himself explains to Asha, he did not really expect things to go wrong before Fran got ill. At the beginning of his relationship with Duncan, Jimmy worries about being just another notch in Duncan’s bedpost–which is arguably rooted in a specific cause, i.e. Duncan’s bad track record with relationships and fidelity, but this worry is soon eased.

Duncan, on the other hand, worries about pretty much everything, but pretends that he doesn’t. He worries about concrete issues–before they get together, he worries a lot about Jimmy being lonely and isolated (see S3), and about Jimmy working himself in a frenzy during a case and not eating enough–, but also a lot about more abstract matters, like his own perceived brokenness that will inevitably ruin his relationship with Jimmy.

15. Who wakes up first?

Jimmy often has to wake up first because of his job, but Duncan is more likely to wake up first whenever they do not set an alarm. Years of working odd hours and being called out to crime scenes in the middle of the night have messed with Jimmy’s sleep schedule, so he enjoys getting as much sleep as possible whenever he can. So Duncan is often the one who wakes up first and, after enjoying the warmth of their shared bed and listening to Jimmy’s regular breathing for a while and just… soaking in the intimacy and cherishing the safe haven that this has become for him, he quietly gets up to make some coffee and prepare breakfast. Jimmy loves waking up to the sound of Duncan puttering around the house and then being treated to the sight of Duncan with tousled hair and wearing an old worn out t-shirt (probably one of Jimmy’s).

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

They both tell Cassie together. After that, Jimmy is the first who tells his friends and colleagues. Once the people at the station know, it more or less becomes public knowledge in Shetland. Although going to events together and holding hands in public might also be a bit of a give-away. Duncan does not have that many people in his life that he is close to and so he is happy with most people just finding out by hearing it on the grapevine.

Telling his family takes Jimmy a bit longer because he wants to tell them in person, which means that he has to wait for the right moment when he’s on Fair Isle or when his parents are on the mainland. Naturally, he’s also concerned about how they react to him being in a relationship with a man, and with Duncan of all people. He has never told them that he is bisexual, because his relationship with men were never serious, nothing to write home about, and so he didn’t think it was necessary to potentially upset his parents over something that might never be relevant for them anyway. Once he had met Fran, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and that was the (temporary) final nail in the coffin of his romantic and sexual interest in men. Although he has seen that his parents are very accepting and supportive of his godson Angus, he still fears their reaction and rejection. He is especially concerned that his father will interpret his reluctance to come out as lying by omission and be angry with him for keeping this part of his identity from them for all these years. He also knows that his dad, as a lay preacher and a man of strong principles, does not approve of how Duncan has behaved in the past. But when he finally tells them, it is mostly just a bit awkward, as the Perez family councils usually are. In the beginning, his parents are mostly confused and it takes them a while to wrap their heads around it, but when they see how happy Jimmy is, and how hard Duncan tries to do right by him and Cassie, they welcome him into their family (and then Mary knits him a Fair Isle Christmas jumper, which is the ultimate seal of approval).

—

when it comes to talking about shetland and lewis there really is no such thing as “too much”, pri 💕 thank you for asking!

shetland

the first character i ever fell in love with: jimmy perez

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: billy’s dog, but that’s bc he isn’t there anymore? 😭

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: when it comes to shetland, i’m more of a one-ship-only-kinda-girl

my ultimate favorite character™: ah, that has to be jimmy again, just because he’s such a kind person. i love his quietness and his empathy for people, his compassion, his optimism and positive outlook on humanity that he guards so fiercely against the despair and violence he sees in his job, and his reluctance to give up on anybody, his moral integrity and his desire to treat people fairly and without prejudice. and i also love the sad things about him, his struggle to overcome his grief and (re-)connect with people. and i like that eventhough he admits himself that he is not always good at sharing his emotions, he still allows himself to be open and vulnerable with a selected few (mostly cassie and duncan) and he tries his best to be a good dad. (having said that, duncan has really grown on me as well. and i have a lot of feelings about him)

prettiest character: tosh (typical case of “do i want to be her? or do her?” she has some good flannels 👌) also duncan keeps getting hotter each season, which is doing things to both jimmy and me 💦

my most hated character: it’s a tough call between alice and olivia, but i think i have to go with olivia just bc (apart from all the other shitty things she’s done) she was really cruel to jmmy and never apologised

my OTP: i don’t know if anybody has noticed… but that’d be jimmy/duncan

my NOTP: jimmy/any forced love interest he falls in love with after 5 seconds

favorite episode: from the free-standing episodes i think i like red bones and raven black the best; and i also really love the final episode of s4 (which has some really good jimmy and duncan scenes; what can i say, i am a simple woman)

saddest death: thomas malone; oh boy, his death destroyed me

favorite season: i just re-watched s3 and that was a really good season, but overall i think i love s4 the most, both in terms of plot/case and the character moments

least favorite season: for now, i think i’ll have to say s5 bc even though it was still a pretty great season, i didn’t like it as much as ones before. but it gave us some great jimmy and duncan moments so idek 🤷‍♀️ i def have to watch it again without the one week break between the episodes, maybe i’ll like it a bit better then

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: from what i’ve read, nobody loves neither alice nor olivia, so i think i’m in good/plentiful company with my dislike there

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: i think the closest we get to having a “piece of trash” on this show is duncan bc he is involved in some dodgy shit and also doesn’t have the best record in terms of fidelity… but i still love him so much and he is so much more than his flaws and fuck-ups and i’m glad that the show portrays his other sides as well

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: tosh! and sandy! oh god, i need to know what happens to sandy, can the bbc just renew the show already?!

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: again, this show is too pure for me to have a nasty ship? or maybe i’m just not watching it right haha

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: tosh/donnie, cassie/the baby police officer

lewis

the first character i ever fell in love with: james hathaway (to no one’s surprise…)

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i seldomly change my mind when it comes to liking/disliking a character, and if i do, it’s more likely that i grow to love them? at least that’s what happened with jean innocent for me. i used to feel a bit indifferent about her in the beginning when she was mostly the annoying boss figure who made robbie and james do things they didn’t like, but i ended up really liking her.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: i’ve only ever loved one ship in this fandom…

my ultimate favorite character™: james hathaway; he is fascinating and at the same time i’ve rarely related to a character more. and he’s an excellent character to project all my issues on, like the internalised homophobia thing. or the faith thing. or that thing where he never seems to properly fit in anywhere bc he finds it difficult to connect with people. in summary: he really ticks all my boxes.

prettiest character: james hathaway

my most hated character: everyone in “old, unhappy, far off things” (except james and robbie, maybe. oh, and i guess the girl in the coma and her sister are okay, too. all the other characters are trash)

my OTP: robbie/james

my NOTP: robbie/laura; james/scarlet; i’m also not too keen on the whole ot3 business

favorite episode: wild justice

saddest death: will’s death was definitely the one that had the biggest impact on both james and me (though that applies to many of the more personal episodes, they tend to make me much sadder than the “regular” cases)

favorite season: it’s a tie between s2 and s6, i think? it’s really difficult to say bc most seasons have at least one episode that i absolutely adore and another one that i don’t like that much. s1 was really good as well…

least favorite season: i’ve just realised that i really need to re-watch the later seasons bc i don’t remember that much about them? so i’m just gonna go with s7 for this category

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: well, hate is a strong word, but i couldn’t care less about laura

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: both robbie and james have their trashy moments

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: again, both robbie and james. what can i say, they both are beautiful trash cinnamon rolls.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: hmm, i don’t think i have a nasty ship in lewis, either? i think i’m just not that into nasty ships? i just prefer angst, i guess, and that also makes me want to cleanse my soul at times, haha

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: james/father francis (totally “lowkey”…. yeah *coughs*)

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B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Yes. I marvel that anyone can write anything NOT inspired by personal experience. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

(so, in the grand scheme of things I really wright very little dialogue compared to the long swaths of internal monologue I churn out) :P

Jean has scarcely moved and Laura doesn’t like the sad way she’s looking at her. “No, don’t think it was like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like little helpless Laura pining over someone she’ll never have.” The look Jean gives her is just so “cut the bullshit” trademark Jean, that Laura can’t stop from laughing. She’s being ridiculous but she’s so very tired and she never thought she’d ever be here, like this with Jean, talking so very frankly.

“For the record Laura”, Jean says, “I never have, nor ever could find you helpless.” For just moment she puts a hand to Laura’s leg stretched out in front of her and continues, “but whatever you are right now I’m liking it.”

And Laura can feel herself blushing almost immediately. “Oh?”, she falters. “And what is that?”

“Honest, open”, Jean shrugs. “Just so very yourself.”

I liked this part because I felt like it was the part in the fic when they were finally starting to relax with each other, and because it felt in character to me, which is always my chief aim. 

L:How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Longer works- 2 or three times? Maybe more? Shorter works- maybe once…not nearly enough. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

The few multi-chapter fics that I have, I don’t necessarily plan ahead (to my shame!) The one shots I most definitely do. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Non con, deaging, modern AU 

THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CURRENT BOXFANCY FIC.

But it will be more chapters probably than necessary. And I would give you a snippet but i completely reworked the plot so I have to rewrite things.

fortnight: what wip do you plan on posting next, if at all? 

God knows. I have so many things I need to work on but I’ll likely pop out some finished one-shots. I’d like to post some chaptered stuff but I like to be ahead of myself before I post completed chapters and I’m not really there!

november: do you have any rituals or requirements for getting in the mood for writing?

I usually need a minimum of music playing. I need to create a scenario where I can ZONE IN to the writing and ZONE OUT everything else. Generally that means music on headphones (not in the air), maybe a TV show that’s overly familiar for me to glance up at, and probably best if I close most of my programs out. .. and maybe some weed.