#graystripes vow

rereading lights in the mist, i don't know how to take graystripe's entire death other than the fact that it really reads like he intentionally let himself die. i mean, when taunting ashfur, you think he would've expected an attack especially with how volatile ashfur is, right? it makes me wonder that when he finally enters the dark forest, sees firestar and silverstream, he already cements his decision on what will happen.

we can see in graystripe's vow that he never actually managed to move on at all, especially from firestar. firestar was 8 when he died and graystripe had to be 12 at that point. that's 4 years of yearning for your best friend who long died befire you did. like wdym this is a quote in the book. how are you listing all your mates and daughters and then "firestar. always firestar." bro.

what's REALLY funny is that firestar doesn't actually get a lot of lines in this book, maybe 2 at most and those only exist in flashbacks. this whole book is just graystripe yearning for how it used to be because he never actually moved on from firestar who was practically his north star.

also the fact he hid his injury for so long? dude?

he even says "I've lost so many cats I loved, and now I can be with them again." and mind you graystripe also was saying his goodbyes in his super edition, where he says goodbye to stormfur and barley for one last time.

graystripe was never coming out of that forest alive. i think he knew this, and i think firestar knew this too. because in a sea of cats saying he doesn't deserve to die, firestar is the only one who encourages him to come home:

like i might be reading far too into things atp but Come On. It's all there. Between every line. Pasted into every word.

all i can say is that his final moments were probably the best i read in the entirety of warrior cats. it is a circular loop: it began with firestar, it ended with graystripe, losing graystripe will hurt but the thought of being with him again matters more.

• Idk if this is canon, but he never really moved on from Silverstream. Like yeah he raised a family with Millie and he liked her, but no matter how hard he tried he could never stop thinking of Silverstream. Millie ate fish in her twoleg home?So did Silverstream, cuz she’s RiverClan. Bumblestripe eats a lot, just like him? Silverstream used to tease him for that. Briarlight’s eyes are bright blue? So were Silverstream’s. Look, they were even the same shade of blue! He chose Millie in StarClan out of guilt for feeling that way, and to prove that he moved on (yeah right).

• Before he died, Greystripe apologized to Brackenfur for neglecting his training during his apprenticeship. Brackenfur forgives him, and doesn’t even think about it at all

• Greystripe was adopted by Willowpelt and Whitestorm a few moons before Firepaw joined. It was early enough that the clan didn’t suspect him being an outsider for a bit, but also late enough that if someone questioned Grey abt it later & he confirmed the truth, cats would just go ‘Ohh!’ and go abt their business. Not to mention Whitestorm was really respected at the time so dissing Grey would be dissing him (Another Whitestorm w).

• When Firestar died, Grey lined his nest with ashwood & ferns he replaced daily cuz that’s what Firestar smelled like. He would also tell both exciting and overglazed stories & embarrassing ones Fire wouldn’t admit in life.