As a child we used to say that we would live to be a hundred. We thought we would have all the time in the world. We thought we had time to make mistakes and learn from them. We thought we had time to waste it. As children we aren't aware how short life really is. Today, I was reminded that not all of us will make it to live to be a hundred. When I was kid, I used to say I would travel the world, win an oscar, fall in love a bunch of times, find the true love of my life, and have a family that I would love and cherish the rest of my life. I would grow old with my significant other watching our grandchildren play outside. As I child I was naive. Even to this day, I act as if I have all the time in the world to be messing around. Sitting here as I type this, I have a billion and one things I need to be doing. I have two jobs which I work a collective of 30 plus hours. I am also taking 18 hours of classes this semester. I stress out about the littlest things. 

Today I was reminded that not all of us will live to a hundred. Today this morning a teacher of mine from high school passed away in a car accident. He wasn't like my favorite teacher or anything. He just was the teacher that gave me the creative outlet to fall in love with making films. I owed him a lot. I honestly didn't even realize it till today. But the thing that I think hit home most..was that he was young. He had a girlfriend, he was a coach, he was a teacher. He still had a whole lifetime in front of him. And in one moment it was all gone. 

How can I be so selfish? I feel like spend so much time feeling sorry for myself and not enough time appreciating the life I have. I don't spend enough time on working towards my dream. I don't live my life to the very fullest. I honestly don't even have much fun. How can I live like this knowing that it could all be gone in a split second? And even though I know I feel like this now-I know it won't last. I'll state that I will change my life and the way I live and my attitude. I will declare to be happier and live my life to the fullest. But tomorrow, tomorrow I will remember that I have to work for money, to live, and have to go to school to get a mediocre job. Tomorrow I will not remember. Tomorrow I will continue on this oblivious existence and that makes me sad.