#gravescratch

Zircon woke slowly, confused, but couldn’t bring herself to be frightened of whatever this was. She had been… unconscious? Which should be concerning, but she was fine. Just… waking up. No pain, none of that lingering unpleasantness that came with re-forming, body still where she’d put it.

Uncurling a bit, Zircon rubbed her eyes in an effort to reboot her brain, then shook her head and looked up at-

Oh, right, this thing with way too many eyes. Which… hadn’t eaten her yet, apparently didn’t intend to, and was currently reading a… thing. A small object, made of extremely thin pieces of something moderately flexible, that had what looked like some sort of writing on each piece.

“That looks inefficient.” Was her first thought, and not one she quite managed to contain. It did look inefficient!

 “Yes, well, I do not keep data storage devices over my face. Besides- the locals here are only just beginning to migrate all reading data to digital form, it is a rather recent invention. This is what they use instead, it is called a ‘book’. Perfectly serviceable, albeit inefficient compared to the tech you are used to.”

Having calmly explained himself, Gravescratch set the book aside and looked down at his lap full of public defender, taking in the utterly confused expression. “And you were just asleep. Sleep is a state of mind and body, mandatory for the physical and mental health of many organic creatures, which Gems also benefit from despite not being organic. It is not necessary, but it is helpful for mental health, particularly among those under high stress. Homeworld discourages it and hides the knowledge due to it being seen as unproductive. It is something like meditation- the mind relaxes, all conscious thought ceasing, and the body largely relaxes. Consider it a reboot. You were terribly confused and upset, but now- better, yes?”

 Zircon elected not to answer. Mostly because she did not want to admit that, yes, she was feeling better now. Or… comment on her emotions and what had just happened.

Except, actually-

What exactly, had-

Zircon had several questions, but they were all derailed by something… chiming? Chirping?

The chirping turned out to be coming from a small, blue, fluttering creature, something that was perched on the back of her former hiding place. It would have fit in her palm, its coloration was startlingly close to hers, and it kept making rather pleasant sounds as it bounced around on two tiny limbs.

New question.

“…what is that?”  

 “Ah, there it is. That, little one, is a ‘bluebird’. Birds are small, avian, organic creatures found across this planet. There are several thousand different species, ranging from the size of your finger to about the size of your torso, in many different colors. That is a small local species. It is supposed to be outside, but it found its way inside earlier and I did not wish to pursue it for fear of harming it. They are very fragile. I would like to put it outside, as that is where it belongs, so, if you will pardon me…”

Gravescratch gently tipped Zircon out of his lap and stood up, circling around the wall of the room until he was near a section of a soft wall hanging. Pulling it aside, he revealed a transparent section of the wall, which he opened- letting in a good deal of humidity, a gust of moving wind, and more sounds similar to the first creature’s sound. “Yes, yes, here you are- you can leave now, bird.” Gravescratch declared, turning to look at the bird- and blinked all seven eyes in mild surprise as another bluebird flew in.

Both Gems stared at the new invader for a moment, then Gravescratch shook his head, sighed, and turned back towards the window. “That was exactly the opposite effect I had intended this to have, so- little one, please stay in here, I am going to encourage them to leave.”

 Zircon wasn’t watching the “birds” any more. Her attention was now on the opening in the wall through which her kidnapper had just left. Slowly standing up, she carefully approached the opening, staying to the side so the strange thing might not see her looking out.

That was… a lot of green. A lot of bright, bright green. The sky was a bizarre soft blue with moving patches of white, and the ground was a fuzzy green that her eyes couldn’t properly focus on. This was far too large to be another room, so- apparently that was what the planet looked like. Now- which one was this? Had she seen any images of a planet like this?

She had not.

That was a bad sign. So was the lack of anything even resembling Homeworld tech. Or anything coherent, everything was fuzziness and rounded edges and-

Apparently the ground came apart. Her captor was scraping away the green, revealing a layer of dark brown, and he did it with no visible effort.

 Gravescratch cleared away a patch of the green, then sat back and stared up at the sky, waiting until-

After a short time, another few bluebirds came fluttering down, landing on the exposed patch of brown. Making sounds very loud compared to their tiny frames, they bounced around in the brown and plucked at it as if searching for something, completely ignoring the lanky thing standing near them.

A few moments later, the birds inside seemingly heard the sounds, chirped in response, and flew outside, joining the others in the exposed patch.

Gravescratch gave a satisfied hum, but didn’t come back inside, just sat down and watched the birds- especially as more, of differing colors and sizes, appeared.

 Her captor was distracted. Distracted, and facing away from her. With an opening to the outside still available.

But her captor looked very fast, wasn’t far away, and was familiar with the local area. She was not made to be fast, and she didn’t even know what planet she was on.

Running was a bad idea. It was a very bad idea.

So… was staying here a better idea?

She didn’t trust the strange thing that had captured her, and she still had no doubt that it was going to hurt her. It seemed calm now, though, whereas running would risk making it angry with her.

But… if it was angry, it might just get whatever it was planning over with. Which, given that she had no hope of rescue, would probably be better than it toying with her for however long it intended.

And this might actually work.

Staying here, she had no hope of escape.

Trying to run would give her the tiniest scrap of hope.

Which was something that she needed.

So, shakily, Zircon crept over to the opening in the wall. One last check to be sure the creature wasn’t watching, then she clambered outside, dropping to the ground.

She didn’t stop to look around. Partly because she couldn’t, her eyes couldn’t focus properly on all the incoherent shapes around her. She just set off in one direction, as quietly as possible, heading towards what looked like cover. A series of objects much larger than her, blobs of nonsensical green patterns supported by relatively straight grey-brown columns. Hopefully she could hide among some of those. She just had to get there.

Zircon tried to be quiet, at least until she was away from the building, but the ground kept making sounds. Unpleasant squishing noises from everything she stepped on, urgh. Worse than that, she ended up yelping as a small, bullet-shaped creature leapt out of the ground and hit her in the face, and there was no way her captor hadn’t heard-!

Time to run. Zircon abandoned all attempts at secrecy and just bolted, panic fueling her as she ran for cover. Maybe if she just got a head start, got ahead of it far enough, she could escape-!

 Unbelievably, it seemed to be working. When she finally risked a glance over her shoulder from between the columns, nothing was following her. It wasn’t there. Maybe it- could she have escaped its notice?

Maybe it hadn’t been watching because it hadn’t expected her to run.

Well, she’d showed it!

Zircon had time for a moment of satisfaction before a crashing sound registered. Slow, powerful, and repetitive- coming from somewhere in front of her.

Was that good? It might provide an opportunity to escape a potential tracker’s hearing, but it might also present another threat. Except that it almost sounded like… water.

She was a Gem of Blue Diamond’s court. Water was a good thing for her.

And she was too tired to run.

So she kept walking in a straight line, slowly, cautiously, as the blue of the sky started to show up again and the crashing grew louder, and she kept walking until she ran out of ground to walk on.

The ground fell away. Not even in a sensible fashion, with hovercraft docks or any sort of transport, it just stopped being ground and turned into open air. “Of course. Because nothing here makes any sense.” Zircon muttered, staring out at the sky in front of her that seemed to somehow stretch below the horizon, and-

Wait. There was a line. But the ground was almost the same color as the sky out near the horizon, except that it was moving, white lines rippling across it towards her.

Oh, her eyes were not made for this. She was made to operate in well-constructed buildings that made sense, to process data at high speeds, not to stare out at messily shaped things that someone had put far away.

But, squinting, she managed to make out what was in front of her.

Water.

More water than she’d seen in her entire life, stretching from horizon to horizon around the outcropping she was standing on. There were waves rippling across the surface of the water towards her, crashing against the base of the outcropping far below her. As she watched, a massive grey creature broke the surface of the water, sent a white spout from its back, and sank again, and more birds –these larger and grey- drifted across her view.  

“What in Blue Diamond’s name…”

 “Oh, she had nothing to do with this.”

 Zircon gave a very undignified yelp and jolted in place, very nearly jumping right off of the outcropping. Whirling around with her arms up as a futile shield, she backed up until she was right at the edge, trying to escape the punishment she was certain was coming for her escape attempt-

But nothing happened. Her captor twitched towards her, as if about to grab, but didn’t touch her. Just- waited. Staring. And did nothing.

It unnerveed her enough that she ended up blurting out “well?!” up at the thing, then immediately regretted it and covers her gem with both arms, which unfortunately left her with no good way to hide her face.

 “I am not going to grab you.” Gravescratch rumbled, taking one long step back, and sat down- out of reach of her. “Unless I feel that you are in danger otherwise, I am going to respect your bodily autonomy as much as I can. And I am not going to harm you for running, understand? You are not in trouble. I do not blame you for running, either, although I do need you to return. And, preferably step away from the cliff before you fall off.”

 Bodily autonomy?

She knew what those words meant, separately, but- together, and in this context?

And why didn’t her captor intend to punish her for this? She ran, which is precisely what she was told not to do- it would make sense for her to be punished, why wouldn’t- not that she’s complaining, of course, but-

The only logical part of that was the suggestion that she should move away from the cliff. She did so, forcing herself to walk closer to the thing that so effortlessly found her, and tried to draw herself up as she spoke to it.

“You make no sense. Explain yourself at- at once! You have kidnapped me, why- why wouldn’t you- and- ‘bodily autonomy’, what do-“

She didn’t want to get closer, but she did, moving slowly towards the thing as if drawn by a magnet. “And what did- did you do to me? How are you making me feel like- nnh-“

 “I did not do anything to you. As I said before, little one- you are a member of a social species, in a society that forbids affection. You are terribly touch-starved. That contact earlier helped, and now, whether or not you intend to, you are searching for more. Easy… I am not going to hurt you.” Gravescratch rumbled, leaning in slightly, and pressed his muzzle to her forehead when she was close enough. “I am sorry- I do not mean to upset you, but, as I am not causing this, I have no way to stop it.”

 Eyes shutting, Zircon took the final step closer, hands curling into fists as she tried to fight the urge to get closer. She did not succeed. The best she could manage was not hugging the thing that had brought her to this planet against her will, the thing that could shatter and eat her if it so chose, the thing that-

That was explaining again. She should listen. Explanations were good.

 “You are not in trouble because your reaction is understandable. You are frightened of me, and for good reason. I would have been shocked if you did not make some escape attempt. Now… bodily autonomy. A concept that is going to seem very strange to you, because it goes against everything that the Diamonds encourage. It is, to put it simply, the idea that you have the right to decide what happens to your body. You have the right to decide who is allowed to touch you, what they are allowed to do, and when they stop. You have the right to decide what you are comfortable doing and what you are not, and no one, even the Diamonds, can change that.”

Gravescratch lowered his head just enough to meet Zircon’s eyes, or, at least, enough to meet her eyes if she would open them. “No one has the right to manipulate or control you in any way, save only what is necessary to prevent serious harm to you or someone else. Why I refrained from grabbing you away from the cliff just now, for example- you were not in serious enough danger to warrant me capturing you in such an alarming fashion. I am trying to respect your autonomy as much as I can. Which is why I am not holding you- I am concerned that it would distress you further.”

 Explanations were still good.  Except when they only made things more confusing.

The Diamonds were entitled to whatever they wanted of her. Anything and everything- theirs.

Or… maybe not so much the Diamonds any more.

She’d been taken, removed to another planet, and there was no one en route to rescue her. Which meant, legally, she belonged to… this.

So, instead of faceplanting into its front, she probably ought to show the proper respect.

Drawing herself up as much as possible, Zircon took a step back and squared her shoulders, looking up at the being who towered over her. “Ma’am. With all due respect- in accordance with Right of Conquest laws, you literally own me. What you are saying makes absolutely no sense. You have every right to do- literally whatever you want. I- there are- there are some things I would not recommend, and things I would not prefer, but- I have no rights here.”

 “That again.” Gravescratch rumbled, eyes narrowing, and leaned down to properly meet her gaze. “Listen to me. I do not have any right to control you. I did not earn the right to manipulate you by having the skills to capture you, and the Diamonds did not earn the right to manipulate anyone simply by being born as a certain variety of Gem. No matter what they claim, that does not give them any right to anything they are doing. But that is unimportant for now. What I need you to understand is that you have rights. You have the right to tell me to stop anything that you do not like. And I am not inclined to take orders, but you may make requests. Go on- try it out.”

 …what?

Zircon didn’t manage to restrain her expression of bewilderment, mostly because all of her brainpower was going into trying to puzzle this out. First of all- the Diamonds had every right to do whatever they wanted, with everything that they owned, and they owned an extremely large number of things. Second, her captor –owner- had every right to- again, anything. This made no sense, but-

There was an order near the end of that confusing paragraph. Probably another part of this twisted game, but… an order. “Try it out”, referring to, presumably, her hypothetical ability to make requests of her owner.

So… she tried it out.

Stared up at whatever this was, tried to stay steady, and spoke as clearly as she could. Which… wasn’t very, given her request. “Hold me. Ma’am. I- I still think something happened to cause this, but- I want- hold me.”

 “There we are. Good. Assert yourself- I promise I will not be angry with you.” Gravescratch rumbled, all seven eyes shutting momentarily in a gesture of approval, and wrapped his arms gently around Zircon’s frame. Pulling her just a bit closer, he rumbled gently and hugged her with all four arms, giving quiet approving sounds every time she moved to increase the area of contact.

 Zircon slumped limp in her owner’s hold, shutting her eyes for just a few seconds so that she could properly bask in the sensation of touch, and… stayed like that for far longer than she meant to. Oh. Intimidating or not, this thing was warm, and it was supporting her oh-so-well, and she wanted-

She wanted to curl in close and get comfortable and never move away, wanted to stay like this and hold this creature and never let go, and it scared her that she wanted anything so strongly-

She wanted more, but she wanted to stop, and the twisting desires escaped as a soft whimper before she started to claw at her owner’s front- trying to get away, trying to hide somewhere so she could figure this out on her own without being touched in a way that made her mind want to short out. “Stop, stop-“

To her shock, the creature did. It let go, it stepped back slightly, and it crouched, making no effort to get closer to her again.

 “Yes, like that- good!” Gravescratch crooned, looking genuinely pleased, and took a step away. “Come on- away from the cliff, please. And, preferably, back to the building- come inside and sit, enjoy the electric blanket, sit somewhere away from all the nature so you can think.”

 Her owner obeyed when she tried to make a situation stop. Now that… that had to be part of a game, some kind of trick, some kind of trap, but-

But the ground kept making noises, and little things flung themselves out of it at her, and she wanted to be somewhere that did not have anywhere near this many living creatures. So… she’d obey. She’d go back inside.

Blackspark sighed, very gently attempting to tug Gravescratch’s helm a bit lower, but failed entirely. He wasn’t willing to use any sort of actual force, especially not now, and Gravescratch did not want to lean down. “C’mon, baby, I didn’t forget you. Look- you heard th’ medic. Processor’s a li’l busy buildin’ a bit, I’m runnin’ on low power. Got no recognition skills fer anyone, ‘specially not outta long-term memory. But I didn’t forget you. I just… didn’t recognize ya.”

 Gravescratch made no attempt to pull his helm out of Blackspark’s servos, but pinned his antennae down and refused to move, stretched up tall enough that he was almost out of reach. When he spoke, some of the hissed words were accompanied by a quick stomp of one pede, a gesture that meant agitation- that he was either working himself up or had been working himself up. “I have spent centuries being overlooked because people take me for an animal, because people look but never see me. I spent the first part of my life in chains because no one saw and no one cared and they left me to slavery for lack of recognition that I was not an animal, and you try to convince me that you of all beings not recognizing me is not important?!”

 “Oh, baby, no… that’s not what’m doin’.” Blackspark whispered, slowly beginning to sway side-to-side on his pedes in an attempt to get Gravescratch to mimic him- the closest he’d ever been able to come to rocking someone nearly twice his height in his arms. “I’m not tryin’ ta say that it doesn’t matter. I’m sayin’ I’m sorry, an’ that it ain’t ‘cos you ain’t important, it’s ‘cos I literally cannot recognize anyone past recent memory. I didn’t recognize you, bu’ I recognize your worth, an’ your rights, an’ your existence- I see you, baby, I see you. I got you.”

 Gravescratch wanted to believe. He did. Enough that he found himself starting to lean into the touches, starting to sway with Blackspark, before he caught himself. “Pretty words, but no proof.” he hissed, half-sparkedly trying to pull away, and shut his optics against the traitorous welling of moisture.

 “You want proof? I feel ya- proof’s good.” Blackspark purred, gently running his fingertips under Gravescratch’s optics, and started to purr softly as he rocked. “I ‘member meeting you. Thought you were some kinda hound, but- hey, can’t blame me there, you were pretendin’ ta be one. Talked at ya, gave ya food, lured ya back t’ my ship, an’ then turned ‘round an’ saw ya loungin’ all noodley on m’ berth. Don’t ‘member when that was, bu’ I know it happened.”

His optics brightened a bit as Gravescratch leaned ever-so-slightly into him, and he purred just a bit louder, taking exactly one step closer. “Yeah. An’ I remember Mine, hm? Cute li’l stuffed thing. Still got ‘m in subspace, yeah? I ‘member findin’ ‘m. You… had a lotta feelings. Talked t’ya ‘bout ‘em, eventually… after I found ya curled up’n cryin’ more’n once. You did a lot more cryin’ after we talked, but… seemed better after. Had some stuff bottled, stuff ‘bout how they treated you, ‘bout th’ one who wasn’ quite as awful… ‘bout how you were tryin’ ta figure out if ya hated th’ mech or not. Figured out that… maybe not? Not as much ‘s hate.”

He could see Gravescratch’s resolve wavering, but he didn’t try to get any closer, nor did he attempt to pull Gravescratch down. He just kept talking, his voice soft and genuine, and kept swaying- which Gravescratch was starting to follow.

“Real mixed feelin’s, yeah? Tha’s okay. Yer allowed ta have complicated feelin’s ‘bout people. He’s dead, anyway, ain’t gonn’ cause ya any trouble. I ‘member that much. I ‘member helpin’ ya check. An’ I ‘member you cryin’ after that, too. You had a lot of cryin’ bottled up. Which’s okay, baby… nothin’ wrong wi’ cryin’. Bottlin’ ain’t good fer ya, though. So, hey… you feel like maybe you got somethin’ stressin’ you… yeah? Guessin’ it’s this? I know, baby, I’m sorry… ‘m so sorry. I know. I know ya, an’ I know how you feel ‘bout not bein’ recognized, an’ I understand- I do, baby, I do. That is an extremely reasonable… reason fer ya ta feel like that. An’ I’m sorry I didn’ recognize you. I am so, so sorry. But- please, Gravescratch, you know me. And I know you. I know you.”

 Gravescratch made a soft, needy little sound and finally, finally gave in, slumping against Blackspark with both pairs of servos grasping at the bounty hunter’s frame. He didn’t speak, though, just whined and pressed close, careful to avoid the spines as he pressed his helm to Blackspark’s throat and swayed.

Of course Blackspark knew him, of course, it made so much more sense for him to not recognize than to forget. And it still hurt, but… carrying did strange things to people’s brains. Part of the reason why the whole idea horrified him. It… wasn’t out of the question that Blackspark’s processor might have failed him. Right? It made sense, and it was comforting, and Blackspark had never, never lied to him… not once. Not even slightly.

 “Yeah, hey… I feel ya. It’s alright… c’mon now. Berth’s tha’ way. ‘s okay.” Blackspark crooned, carefully backing up and taking Gravescratch with him, still swaying as much as he could while walking. “There we go. I missed you, hey- you know that, right? Oh, Primus, I missed you… I love you, baby. Love you, Gravescratch.”

Once on the berth, Blackspark leaned back a bit and purred softly, rocking slowly back and forth with all his spines as far down as possible so Gravescratch could cling as tightly as possible. “Yeah… here we go. Comfy? Uh- careful not ta lean too hard on m’ stomach, somebody in there don’ like that.”

 Gravescratch curled against Blackspark and parted his jaws just enough to lap at the bounty hunter’s throat, softly, something they both knew meant the same- affection, pleasure in trust, love. Maybe not romantic love, but… that didn’t make it any less genuine. Even if Gravescratch was bad at admitting it in words.

He’d missed Blackspark, too, missed the first person in a long time to treat him with respect. Missed this ridiculous bundle of spines, those soft white optics and the gentle touches only when he wanted touches…

Like now. Yes, he had a lot of feelings, and he definitely wanted touches now.

So he curled around the warm mech, he swayed with Blackspark, and he licked and nuzzled and offered as much affection as he could without having to try to speak.