#graves notebook

You did not share his good humor, still half asleep and groggy, you dragged your heavy legs over to the corner to make yourself a cup of coffee. The ceiling light was on, making the room too bright for your heavy lidded eyes to bear and you squinted at the coffee machine, trying to focus your eyes to find the power button.

It had barely been a week since you moved to Cocytus Hall, and you were still bumping into the furniture. It was both familiar and strange being here. The dormitory was styled in a very similar fashion to Purgatory Hall, from the layout to the furniture, though it lacked the personal touch of the place where you had spent countless nights with Solomon, Simeon and Luke, who were always welcoming when you needed a break from the brothers. At least, at first that was the reason for your visits, later though, it became your excuse to spend time with a certain sorcerer.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you fell for Solomon, but if you were certain of one thing in your relationship, it was that you fell first. And harder. He caught up eventually though.

While you waited for the coffee maker to heat up, you opened the cupboard and got on the tips of your toes to feel your way around the highest shelve for a coffee cup.

You didn’t realize Solomon was watching you struggle until you heard him let out a low chuckle. “Do you need help?”

“No!” You huffed, leaning one hand on the counter to keep your balance while you delved deeper into the cupboard. You finally found a cup, all the way in back, and you gave it a couple pokes until the handle was in your reach.

You let out a tired breath as you placed the cup on the counter. Triumphant, you turned to Solomon to make a face. “See? I managed.”

He let out an earthy laugh, surprised by your childish stubbornness. “You know I never doubted your capabilities.” He said playfully as he threw the dishcloth he was using over his shoulder. “Never did, and I never will.”

“Hmm, I’m sure.” You mumbled, just as the clicking noise that signaled your coffee was ready rung in the air. You filled your mug and held it to your face with both hands to blow at the steam. You closed your eyes, enjoying the familiar smell, and the warmth spreading from your hands to the rest of your body.

No matter how much your life had changed through the years, there was always a warm cup of coffee waiting for you in the morning. Coming to the Devildom for the first time had been an immense shock. It was hard to get used to the constant darkness, the dangerous wildlife and most of all the food. You still remember how delighted you had been, when you woke up in the House of Lamentations for the first time to the smell of coffee, and for a second, you thought you were back at home.

It's funny how things change. Now, when you think of home, you think of the demon brothers in that exact same house you so desperately wanted to put behind you, the moon high on the sky in the middle of the day, and Solomon holding your hand through the RAD hallways.

You couldn’t resent the time you spent here, because without it, you wouldn’t have meet the brightest person in your life.

You looked up from your coffee cup to glance at Solomon. The one who abandoned his life to follow you into whatever this new adventure is.

To your surprise your eyes meet. He was watching you with a playful smile on his face, like he had read your thoughts.

“What?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing.” He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just shook his head, waving a hand in dismissal.

“What is it?” You laughed.

“It’s just nice.” He shrugged.

“What’s nice?”

“This.” He lifted his arms to gesture around him. “Living with you, seeing you every morning in your pajamas, drinking your coffee, still half asleep. Our life here.”

A soft smile weaved its way across your face. Nice sounded like an understatement.

It felt so natural living life with Solomon. Waking up with his arms wrapped around you every single morning, coming home to find him lounging on the couch with a book, waiting for you so you could make dinner together. It was comfortable, and domestic, and nice. It was the life you didn’t know you wanted, and it was the life you wanted to build when you got back, because you weren’t meant to be here.

“And I know.” He added before you had time to open your mouth. He took your hands in his, affectionately running his thumbs over your skin. “I know you want to go back, and we will. I promise. But while we’re here I’d like to enjoy it.” He wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a tender embrace. You rested your head on his chest and he pressed his lips against your forehead. “Call me selfish but I love having you all to myself.”

“If your selfish, then so am I.” You mumbled into his shirt. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we stayed here a little longer.”

You sat down on your couch with a bowl of popcorn carefully nested in your arms, and let out a big exhausted sigh.

You had just returned from the one year long exchange program in the Devildom a couple days ago, and after dealing with everything that had been left behind during your absence you finally had some time to sit down and relax.

It was strange being home alone after spending a year living with seven unruly demons. The silence was almost foreign to you now but very much welcome. Unfortunately, the peace and quiet wasn't long lasting. Before you even had time to reach for the remote to turn on the TV, your cell phone was ringing.

You leaned forward to take a noncommittal peak at the caller ID, but as soon as you read the name on the screen you were pressing it to your ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Sorry, I know it's late." Solomon's voice came out on the other end, raspy and tired.

You quickly glanced at the clock in your living room. Almost 11 pm.

"Did something happen?" You asked urgently, head already filled with a thousand horrible possibilities.

"No, nothing happened. I just… I think I've had a little too much to drink."

You raised an eyebrow, a curious smile spreading slowly across your lips. "You were drinking?"

You've never seen Solomon drunk. Not even a little tipsy, despite the long list of parties, balls and dinners Lucifer and Diavolo found to be necessary for their two human exchange students to attend.

At those parties the bar was always fully stocked with the best drinks grim could buy by Devildom standards. Of course to you that just meant they were barely palatable and not alcoholic at all for humans, so you both had to suffer through those while sober.

At those events, the lack of alcohol was often, if not the only, topic of the small conversation between you two at first, but quickly those conversations evolved into you bonding about your shared human experience in the Devildom.

"I missed whiskey." He paused to take a sip. You could hear the clicking of the ice against the glass from the other side of the line. "There's no good whiskey in hell, and I think the dry spell lowered my tolerance. My head is spinning."

"You should probably take it easy then." You advised, chuckling when you heard him take another sip.

"It's been so long since I've had anything to drink, and I took out my favorite bottle… I must have gotten carried away."

The movie and popcorn were long forgotten when you sat down on your couch again, leaning back and pulling your legs up to your chest. Sitting there listening to Solomon talking about whatever topic he wanted sounded like a better plan to you than watching any movie on earth, but you couldn't help but wonder.

"So, I love talking to you and all, but… why did you call?"

"I don't know." He laughed. "I just…" He trailed off, and you heard him gulping another sip of whiskey. "Sorry. That was a lie."

"What was a lie?"

"I wanted to hear your voice…That's why I called, I wanted to talk to you, and hear your voice." He explained casually, like he was telling you about what he had for dinner, or what new incantation he was working on. Casually, like he didn't just cause your heart to skip a beat.

"I know I should have said something sooner." He voiced like he was just thinking out loud.

"What are you talking about? How much did you drink?" You managed to ask with feigned amusement, holding your phone between your shoulder and cheek so you could rub your shaking and clammy hands across the fabric of your sweat pants.

"Not even that much. I just needed an excuse to talk to you. I've been thinking about you non-stop since I got back. I think you were even in my dreams last night."

You took the phone into your hand again, desperately trying to come up with something cool and clever to say, but your mind was blank. The only thing crossing your mind was the echo of Solomon's voice, repeating, over and over again "…thinking about you… in my dreams…"

Thankfully he spoke just before the silence was about to become unbearable, saving you the inevitable embarrassment of whatever stupid thing you would have said to just fill the quiet.

"Listen… Are you alone?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come see you?"

You looked down at yourself in your sweat pants and old t-shirt. "Yeah, but-" You were about to tell him that you needed to get ready first, but before you could you heard a click and the line went silent. "Solomon?"

"What just happened?" You asked yourself out loud, running a cold hand across your face in an attempt to calm yourself down. Your heart was hammering in your chest.

You got up intending to get yourself a cup of water to cool off, but just as you stepped foot into the kitchen the doorbell rang.

You almost ran to the door, patting your hair down on the way, trying to make yourself at least a little more presentable.

"Solomon… Hey." You greeted him with a smile.

"Hey." He smiled sheepishly, running one hand through his already messy hair.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I'm a sorcerer, remember?"

"Should you be drinking and teleporting?" You teased with a smile, dragging a reluctant laugh from Solomon.

"Come in." You gestured inside with your hand and stepped aside to let him pass, closing the door behind you.

"I'm sorry." He said as soon as the door was locked. He looked pitiful, standing awkwardly in the middle of your hallway. He was dressed casually in a black turtleneck and a pair of dark wash jeans and he looked tired. Even though his cheeks were red and his under eyes dark, the rest of his face was unusually pale.

"You're saying sorry a lot." Even though your words were mocking, your tone was gentle. With a smile, you gestured for him to follow you into the living room. You sat down on the couch and he followed your lead, careful to leave some distance between you.

"Now that I'm here I don't know what to say." He admitted, resting his forearms on his knees to nervously fidget with his fingers. His eyes were focused on his own hands, never once looking up at you.

"You were talking about how you dreamed about me or something embarrassing like that." You offered jokingly, hoping to break the thick tension in the air.

"Yeah." He chuckled. "I think I sobered up a little on the way here." He flashed you a small awkward smile. "This is weird, I know. I shouldn't have…" He trailed off with a sigh. "Done anything I did tonight if I'm gonna be honest. But now I'm here so… I really like you." This time he didn't avoid your gaze as he waited for an answer.

"I really like you too." You told him without hesitation.

The sorcerer actually looked taken back, like he was expecting anything else but what you had just said.

"I have for a while, but you never seemed interested." You continued with a shrug.

"I… I know. I don't usually… I try not to get too close to other people." He turned his head to look at his shoes, but not before you caught the guilty look that flashed across his face. "It's not easy when you've lived as long as I have."

"Then why are you here?"

"I usually don't have such a hard time keeping a healthy distance from people." He chuckled bitterly. "But there's something about you. I can't help it. I wish I realized it sooner, but I want you in my life. Whatever consequences that brings."

"Okay." You nodded. He looked at you like he expected you to say something else, to add a but, anything. But it didn't come. It was simple enough to you.

"Okay? That's all?" He laughed, running a hand across his face as he leaned back against the back of the couch. "And here I was getting worked up over nothing."

"Yeah, I mean usually people just ask me out for coffee or something." You suggested with a shrug and a smile.

Lucifer was a busy demon. Between being Diavolo's right hand man, the school council and taking care of his unruly brothers, the only time alone he had was late at night, as he poured himself a cup of his favorite demonus and listened to one of many cursed vinyls.

He was never bothered by this routine, he welcomed having something to occupy his time with. That is, until you came along.

Now he found himself wishing he had more free time, just so he could spend it with you. He wanted to shamelessly occupy your time too, like his selfish brothers often did, pulling and pushing you around, making you go along with their crazy ideas and schemes. He wished he had that much time to waste, to pull you away from everything for just one afternoon while you enjoyed each other's company in peace. But he didn't. Lucifer was a busy demon.

Well, usually he was.

However, today was different. Today he had the day off.

The last time he had dinner at the castle, he had a little too much demonus and ended up ranting to Diavolo about how his brothers monopolized all of your time, how he wanted to spend more time with you, but wouldn't dare disrupt your sleep schedule for his own selfish reasons, since the only time he was free was usually way past your bedtime.

Obviously, he was mortified in the morning when he remembered his demonus induced heart to heart with the prince, but continued on with his day, hoping to pretend that it never happened. That is, until Diavolo brought up the topic of his day off.

"To rest." He insisted. Lucifer's first instinct was to say no. He hated being favoured. And worse, being pitied. His prideful mouth was already open, ready to refuse the offer, but then the prince added. "Or spend time with someone special." And he closed his lips again.

This is what he wanted, he reasoned. He could take you out, far away from his noisy brothers and finally spend some quality time with you. With a sigh, he decided to put his pride aside for the first time in his life, and nodded. "I will, thank you."

Of course, nothing was ever that easy in his life. When he arrived back at the house, he found you in the living room, sitting on the floor next to the couch with Mammon, a deck of cards on the floor.

He called your name, greeting you with a smile, and you turned around. "Can I have a minute?

"Oi, Lucifer, can't you tell we're busy?" Mammon answered for you before you could, peeking around your body to look at Lucifer with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl.

"He's teaching me to cheat cards." You offered apologetically, signaling to the cards you were holding. "Sorry, I'll come find you in a bit, okay?"

Defeated, he nodded, retrieving back to his room to lay in bed. Fully clothed, he stared up at the ceiling blankly. That's not how the day was supposed to go. Now he had no idea what to do with himself while he waited. What did other demons do in their free time?

Eventually deciding enough time had passed, he strode back downstairs to find you, waking directly into the living room, to find it empty.

With a sigh he turned back to look for you somewhere else. He found you again soon enough, this time in the kitchen, cooking with Beel.

"Hi, Lucifer!" You greeted as soon as he walked in."I'm sorry, I said I'd come find you but Beel is making lunch and he needs supervision." You nodded to his younger brother.

Lucifer followed your gaze to Beelzebub, who was wearing a pink apron, a few sizes too small for him and sipping some of the soup from a spoon.

"Stop it!" You hurried to take the utensil from his hand.

"I have to make sure it's good." He defended with a sheepish smile, running one hand through his hair.

"You've had enough! It tastes fine!" Throwing the spoon into the sink, you turned back to Lucifer apologetically. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

Lucifer was starting to realize it wouldn't be that easy to get you alone when you were surrounded by six idiots who needed constant attention and supervision. Maybe leaving the house was the best course of action.

"Why don't we go somewhere for lunch?" Lucifer offered, having a sudden stroke of genius.

"Oh, but I already promised Levi I would spend time with him after lunch. A new episode of this anime we're watching was just released and…" You trailed off when you saw the way Lucifer's smile fell. "Anyway, I promise I'll be available after that?"

He considered insisting, telling you the matter was urgent. The only problem is that there was no problem, no urgent matter. In truth, he had nothing but time today.

He did his best to hide his disappointment behind a tired smile. "It's fine." He finally responded, trying not to sound too annoyed.

He waited long enough, he could wait a bit more.

After lunch, you disappeared with Levi, as you promised. Then one by one all of his brothers left the table until he was the only one left. He decided to go back to his room to busy himself with a book while he waited. How long could one single anime episode be?

Well, pretty long, it seemed. A few hours had passed and you still hadn't come to find him. Closing his book, he got up in one swift motion, and walked over to the living room again. This time he found you there.

You were curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly with Belphie by your side, his head on your shoulder, and the cow print pillow he always carried firmly grasped in his hands.

Lucifer wanted to be mad, but he found he couldn't. Gazing down at both of your sleeping forms, he didn't have the heart to wake either of you up, you looked so peaceful and relaxed. So, he reached for a blanket to drape over you and his youngest brother, and then left the room silently.

Maybe taking a day off was a mistake, he thought, as he walked back to his room to finish his book.

Turns out the problem wasn't that Lucifer didn't have time to spend with you, but rather that you didn't have time to spend with him. He felt defeated, but he wasn't ready to give up.

The rest of the day passed in a much similar fashion. He eventually finished his book, and on his way to the library to retrieve a new one, he passed you by in the hallway as you carried a few books in your arms.

"Let me help you with those." He offered, desperate for a reason to spend even a few minutes with you, but you promptly denied him.

"It's fine, Satan's room's just around the corner. He's helping me with my Devildom Law class." You explained. Lucifer barely contained a scowl. Now Satan? Did everyone get to spend time with you but him?

"Very well… I'll see you at dinner." He said defeated, before continuing on his way.

Dinner time came by quickly after that. Everyone was in a good mood, chatting happily about their day. Everyone but Lucifer, who ate in silence barely keeping track of everyone's conversations.

As usual, as soon as everyone was finished, his brothers started leaving the table, one by one, until it was just you, Lucifer and Asmo. Both demons watched expectantly as you finished the last of your soda. When you finally made a move to get up, placing your hands on the table and pulling your chair back, Lucifer opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey! Where are you going? I needed you for something, remember?" Asmo beat him to it, getting up in a jump, and grabbing your arm with a cheerful smile. "I just got some new designs and I need you to model them for me!"

Lucifer couldn't do anything but watch as Asmo pulled you away, linking arms with you, and chatting happily about something he couldn't make out. As soon as the both of you turned the corner, he closed his eyes, letting out a deep and tortured sigh into his palms.

What was the point? You probably preferred to spend time with his brothers anyway. It was presumptuous of him to assume you would even have time for him, much less want his company.

He walked back to his room, resigned to spend the rest of his evening as he always did: up late with a bottle of demonus and his favorite record playing in the background.

That's exactly what he did, sitting next to the fireplace with a glass of his best dark red demonus in his hand. He watched the liquid move slowly as he swirled the cup around in his hand. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the music he loved so much, but his thoughts always ended up circling back to you, no matter how much he tried to sway them.

He felt rejected. He was sure you could have made some time for him if you wanted, but you choose to spend time with his brothers instead, everytime. Was he not interesting? Not fun enough? Did it feel like a chore to you when he demanded your attention?

He looked around his room trying to distract himself from the spiraling thoughts, to no avail.

You were just a human. Just a random person chosen from a pile by pure luck and a gush of wind. How could you be so special? Why did you occupy his thoughts like this?

Did you even realize how many demons, angels and humans alike would kill to be in your position? To spend time with someone you so easily dismissed and ignored.

And yet, despite his hurt pride, Lucifer couldn't imagine wanting to spend the rest of this night with anyone else in the three realms.

He picked up his glass with a groan. He was about to take another sip of his drink when there was a knock on the door. Setting the cup back down, he walked across his room to open the door, finding the person he least expected. It was you.

"Yes?" He greeted you with a blank face, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe, one hand holding the heavy wooden door open.

"Hey, sorry, I know it's late.".Lucifer looked you up and down, carefully not to let his cold facade fall. You had your hands clasped together in your front, fidgeting nervously with your fingers as you offered him a tentative smile.

"It's fine, come in." He said eventually, stepping aside to let you in, and closing the door behind you. "Do you want something to drink?" He offered politely, walking over to his desk to retrieve the half empty bottle he'd been drinking from.

"I'm fine, thank you. So.. what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Hmm?" He pretended he didn't know what you meant, like the whole day wasn't playing around inside his head in a loop for the last few hours. "Oh, that. Nothing important." He waved his hand in a nonchalant gesture, before picking up his glass from the small table to fill it back up again. "You can go now, it's late. You should sleep."

"Well, I can never sleep this early, to be honest." You shrugged. You didn't move to leave, just stayed still shuffling your feet nervously. "So if you want some company?"

"Of course." He smiled politely, gesturing to the chair next to his, before sitting down too. Taking a sip from his drink, to hide the smile that threatened to show, he watched you from the top of his glass as you walked over to his side and sat down across from him. "You're welcome to join me anytime. I always enjoy your company."

"I think I might take you up on that offer."