#graphophobia

There is patience in the way she guides her body against mine, calling out, grasping. I am left wondering if she wants to hold on, but her grip is too shaky.

when i reached out, your fingertips brushed mine, hoping the electricity would pull you in. i became fooled to think you would ever close your fist around mine. instead, they wrapped around my neck.

I want to be the sole reason you cannot sleep at night, clawing at your skin, your mouth trying to find mine, reaching for air, not found in your lungs. I want to be the only purpose for your eyes to open, and find I’m not there.

I wonder how many lies you had to tell yourself to walk away from me. Did you tell them it was all me? Was it because i lost my mind? What are you going to tell her, when she asks?

Don't ask me how I've been I'm wondering how you are in that same exact moment. If you ask, your voice will only make a home throughout my bones, a place you don't deserve to be a part of. You are there, coffee in hand, hand in your left pocket, eyes wandering across my face. Your lips, stained with my favorite shade of lipstick... Did you do that on purpose? I feel you beginning to make a home  where i don't want you to. And I watch your lips part. fuck.

She stays up late I wake up early She rubs my back Until she hears me breathing deeply I make her coffee, And kiss her in the morning, So it’s not her alarm that wakes her. I drive And she changes the music. I say something stupid And she laughs. She wears my mother’s ring And i wear her favorite tie I tell her I love her And she crinkles her Nose before she shouts, I love you more, Dancing, And me singing.

Even if you called 8 months later, i would not hesitate to answer.

Words i wish i had said, -no stop dont this isnt love- words i did say, -i deserve this it's my fault why me this is love- words she said, -yes please let me i love you.-