#grantaireee

Courfeyrac wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs, nervously biting his lip as he waited for his Skype to load up.   Sophie would be done with rehearsal soon, and he had something to say to her. 

Knowing Courfeyrac as the Casanova that he was, his Amis would probably be surprised to find out that he’d never actually, seriously said ‘I love you’ to another person.  There was a first time for everything.

He smiled when he saw the green check mark next to her screenname. 

Today was the day.

Things were going to change.

Before he could type out a greeting, a new window opened up, pinging with the notification of a new message.

Sophie:  Do you have time to chat?  I need to talk to you about something…

He quickly typed a response back.

Courf: I always have time for you.   I need to tell you something too.

His struggled to keep his grin under control as he accepted the video chat.  Her face popped up on screen.  Sophie looked absolutely drained, but she managed to flash him a tiny smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.  A concerned look overtook his face.

“Hey, beautiful.  What’s wrong?”

Sophie looked down at her hands before answering, trying to muster up a smile.

“You said you had something to say, Courf.  Why don’t you go first?”

“No, no, no… you first.  Something’s wrong.  What’s happened.”

Sophie looked down at her hands again, and swallowed hard. 

“I-I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?  Royal Ballet?  Oh, Soph, you know that’s not true. You’re-“

“That’s not what I meant.  I was talking about us.”

Courf felt like he had just been punched in the gut, like his whole world was falling apart. 

Sophie still wouldn’t look at him. 

He was breathing hard, and he willed himself not to cry.

“Us? What…I don’t… is it someone else?”

“No, I just…” she finally peeked up at him, then quickly looked away.  “between school and rehearsals and everything I just feel so stretched thin and my career’s too important to me to give up, so I…”

“Thought to give up me,” Courf’s tone was not at all angry and bitter, but one of astonishment.  He couldn’t believe this was happening.  He wished it was all a dream, a horrible nightmare.  He felt so completely blindsided. 

How did he not see this coming?  Was it because he was too clingy?  Because he didn’t tell her he loved her soon enough?  Because he was not some ridiculously talented dancer, but instead a student working his way through Uni?

“I’m so sorry, Courf.”

He could see she was crying now.

“Please, Sophie.  Don’t do this.  Please,” he begged. “I’ll do anything.  I can cut back the texts, the calls.  I could transfer to London.  Whatever you want. ”

“This is what I want,” she choked out.

Courfeyrac was finding it very hard to breathe, he could only hold back his sobs for so long.  His shoulders were already starting to shake.  He stared at his keyboard, utterly defeated.

“Courfeyrac? I’m sorry.” He looked up again only when she said his name.  “Please say something.”

“I-I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t come up to surprise you instead.”

Sophie looked wounded.

“Courfeyrac…”

“I have to go, Sophie.”

“But…I…I’m…didn’t you have something to tell me?” she asked desperately.

She was gnawing at her lip, and for a second he was worried that she might draw blood.   He sighed and closed his eyes.  The tears were threatening to fall.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.  Good-bye, Sophie.”

He ended the call before she could say anything more, and slumped to the floor crying as hard as he could, his shoulders shaking, and his sobs echoing throughout the room.  Jehan was out at class, so he could be as loud as he wanted.  Even so, it didn’t even matter.

Nothing mattered any more.

  CODA:

An hour later, Courfeyrac was able to pull himself together enough to grab his phone, and, ignoring the new texts from Sophie, he typed out a quick message to Enjolras that he would be absent from the meeting tonight due to illness. 

A few minutes later, he got a message back that sounded somewhat disgruntled, but wished him well none the less.

~

Weeks went on, and it seemed as if the other Amis suspected nothing. 

Or if they did, they weren’t going to mention it.