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Thank you for my flowers 🌹!! @Regrann from @drkanisha - I am blessed to have this tigress in my corner! #happynationalpublicistday @jnospr @jnosprblog Yes there is a day for everything, but give her flowers while she yet live! #grannysays - #regrann
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At the airport. Some unwitting victim offers her a free sample of falafel... (Gran:) "LORD! It tastes like a goat\'s knob!"
"Yer mother tells me a local girl is getting married in the church today? Why don\'t ye pop down te the wedding\... \...It\'d do ye good te see what a successful relationship looks like."
(Cousin:) Gran, how would you feel if Emily or I became a masseuse? (Gran:) \...depends what yer massaging!
(Tour guide at National Trust house:) "And here, we have one of the many priest-holes from the time of the Reformation. The family who lived here during that time used to hide Jesuit priests. Risky Business! Anyone? Seen the fil- No, ok. During the 1500s, on the night the priests had planned to leave anyway, the house was raided by Protestants!! BUT, thanks to these nifty hiding places, none of the 7 catholic priests staying at the house were discovered. The raiders obviously missed the 7 horses out in the courtyard being prepared for their escape!" (Gran:) HA! That's the worst hiding place I ever saw. Told ye the Protestants were a bunch a\'eejits.
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Can ye BELIEVE it! Te think there\'s not a SINGLE religious programme on television. On GOOD FRIDAY! God England is an awful country. Absolutely full te the brim wit PAGANS.
"Oh d\'ye like my necklace? Yer grandfather gave it me fer me birthday the first year we were married. See Emlee, that\'s the way te do it - set the bar high from the start. And make sure ye get yerself a fella who\'s not shy about getting his wallet out, no granddaughter of MINE is getting anything on the cheap!"
Gran
"I was at Mass last night and I MUST say, Father is REALLY losing his touch! Not ONLY did the thing go on fer a full hour and a half, but the SERMON was so monotone I think I nearly fell asleep. There was just NO magic, no pizazz like. He must have a touch of Protestant in him."
