Aug 20, 2020
“i’m knitting something for you — but it’s a secret,” she giggles, so proud of herself, although the surprise is half-gone now. / @gracesmuses
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“i’m knitting something for you — but it’s a secret,” she giggles, so proud of herself, although the surprise is half-gone now. / @gracesmuses
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“ 𝐢𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. ”
𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂 , 𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 , @gracesmuses
there’s a million reasons satomi could’ve come to that conclusion, all of which were valid enough reasons on their own but no doubt she had more than one reason piling up. everyone seemed to have noticed his slow decline in sanity, public breakdowns far from new. the fight with diego, getting pulled up by security on the college tour, walking into the dance holding a knife while covered in fake blood, disappearing for hours on the camping trip, crashing zach’s car, his public meltdown after the lockdown drill, the way he was always talking to himself. the reasons piled up quick, and there was no doubt that those weren’t even all the possible reasons to never leave clay alone. those were just the publicly known ones, and perhaps that’s why it’s important to make sure he’s not alone. slight shrug is given, gentle scoff accompanying the words. “i’m not a baby, you can leave me alone.” but when he looks up it’s not just satomi there. monty and bryce, both just standing there. as if they were a part of this. as if they were really there. and the last thing he wanted was to have to be alone with them, reluctant sigh escaping. “but i.. i guess i wouldn’t mind company.”
“ 𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞- 𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 , 𝐧𝐨𝐰 ”
𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝙺𝙸𝙳𝙽𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝙰𝚂𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙺 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝙳 “ 𝙸𝙼 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴- 𝙸𝙼 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 , 𝙽𝙾𝚆 ” 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 , 𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 , @gracesmuses
things were bad after she escaped. he’d quickly come to terms with the fact that she’d never come back, that she’d left him behind without so much as a second thought. the fact that he didn’t even know she was leaving had hurt, but he was sure he’d get over it. however, the idea that he wasn’t involved in her escape had been unfathomable to some people. they’d gotten close, he must’ve known! insistence that he was oblivious had left them angry, they were so sure he was lying. they’d been quick to decide on a punishment, violence a natural state in his life - but there could always be more. it could always be worse. and god, was it worse. he thought he’d become accustomed to violence within the facility, thought he’d experienced humanity at it’s worst.
oh, how he’d thought wrong. turned out that week was worse than anything he’d been through before. worse than the program, worse than dying and coming back. though, truthfully he isn’t entirely sure that he didn’t die and come back within that week. it sure felt like he had, and they’d already worked out how to do it once, how many times would they bring him back? how long would they keep this up?
the room he’s kept in is dark whenever he’s alone, his concept of time twisted, sense of reality disappearing by the minute. when the door opens natural instinct is to flinch, which of course only scares him more. he’d been conditioned to believe that weakness made the pain worse, and he really couldn’t imagine things being worse. he’s already badly beaten, already in pain, can’t imagine what else they could do to him at this point. but then he makes out that silhouette, hears her voice, and nothing makes sense.
was it cloning? a hologram? some sick and twisted way to manipulate him? a way to try to make him tell the truth? “satomi?” voice is quiet, coarse. the light is almost too much, head falling into his hands. the relief from the light is nice, but his head’s still swarming with thoughts about her. it couldn’t be real. she left. it couldn’t be real. he curls up further into himself, allows himself to show weakness despite his mind screaming not to. he’s terrified, trying to tell himself she’s not real, even if she’s so clearly right there. “you’re not here. you left.”
JUPITER KNOWS ALL about nosy questions. he’s an actor ; all he’s ever been his entire life is a celebrity. he’s been flocked by reporters & journalists, microphones shoved towards his face as if his mere breath is worth recording. but there’s something he’s been curious about, ever since he started seeing louise. ❛ why are you so FIXATED on the television ? what’s so special about it ? ❜
@gracesmuses ♡’d this !
“ 𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐠. ”
𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 & 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚜 : 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 : @gracesmuses
things are bad. beyond bad. to call it a mess would be, quite frankly, a gross understatement. kevin was fucking gone. just like that. one bad night, one night of not paying attention, and it had all fallen apart. in a few short moments nick’s entire world had collapsed, no doubt satomi’s had fallen apart too. kevin, as much of a mess as he was, had been the glue in a lot of peoples lives, even with the way he’d changed since everything happened. it had been a few days since it happened, the first time nick had seen just about anyone.
he’s never been overly affectionate with anyone, but especially not her. they’d never been the best of friends, he’s pretty sure they only tolerated each other as much as they did because of kevin. and yet, at her words, he’s quick to wrap his arms around her, pull her in close. not that he’d admit it, but he’d needed a hug too. he’s good at showing apathy, had always had an outwardly apathetic look to avoid pain, but there was no hope of that now. pain was obvious, there was no hiding that.
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@gracesmuses said: one grows used to things, even if, sometimes one shouldn’t.
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“Like smoking?” A cheeky question, considering Naoko lit up without asking if Angela minded at all, or if she wanted one as well. Not that she usually shares, anyway. Not-sharing being a leftover from being one of thirteen children -- she wouldn’t even share her food or smokes or any of the other crap she indulged in with Junior, sometimes, back when they were kids.
Naoko grins a little too toothily back at the look Angela gives her. “But I suppose there’s worse things than a little cigarette, yes?” Oh, personally, Naoko has a whole catalogue of crap from way back when. But she’s not about to get into all that right now, not when she’s trying to chill out. Besides, it’s too much to just dump on other people, even if Angela is built for knowing things, being a reporter and all.
he can see it in her eyes . its the same look thomas sees in many . the look of despair only barely showing , a story inside looking to be told . the writer in him is itching to know it . ❝ you’re hiding something ❞ tom recounts carefully ❝ i can’t tell if its bad , but i know its not good all the same . your posture also tells me you are guarded . sharing is not your feat. ❞
⊹ ˚ . @gracesmuses hit the ♡ for a starter / saetomi ages ago whoops .
❛ DON’T GO. ❜ her words come out as a plea, begging satomi to take back her words & stay. she knows it’s a selfish move. she knows just how selfish it is to ask her not to leave her behind, but she can’t stop herself from hoping that it might work. sophie licks her lips, fingers coming around satomi’s wrist & squeezing it in her grip. her heart is ACHING, & she feels like there’s a parasite gutting inside her stomach. ❛ i don’t want you to go. you’re my best friend. ❜
@gracesmuses ♡’d this ! ( ft. satomi )