#goth guide

From time to time, folks who hail from colder climes will message me offering pity for the poor darkling stranded in The Sunshine State, or to simply inquire as to what herculean efforts I must undertake to avoid being burned to a crisp. These concerns are entirely fair and understandable - even I would never have guessed that a goth could survive in Florida prior to relocating here. I assumed my world was about to become profoundly limited and that I'd be the only shadow scurrying about in a futile attempt to dodge the sun, heat, and humidity. So, without further ado, here's something of a Goth Survival Guide to Florida. (Abridged edition.)

Sun & heat. Yes, those are a powerful pair of adversaries for any who dress the dark, especially in more southerly locals such as La Pascua de la Florida. First, you have to understand that most folks who live here have adapted to the heat and humidity to some degree - some quite a bit, others less so, but all of us more than someone visiting for a week from, say, Toronto. So the heat a northerner feels is much worse than the heat we feel (for example, I'm perfectly comfortable at 80 degree Fahrenheit, as long as I'm not in direct sunlight). Nevertheless, even those goths born here don't generally go outside during the day in the summer. However, it cools down quite a bit at night, and that's when you'll see us out and about. During the day, air conditioning is your bestie. Your home, car, and work will all have it and it will be blasting. We dash from one AC source to another during those dog days of summer, but that's just how it is here. I used to live in Minnesota and my life there was reversed - I'd stay inside all winter - so, pick your poison.

The beach. Yes, folks will try to get you to go to the beach. My advice? Spit in your hand and slap them. Kidding! I just say, "No, thanks," and tell them that the beach just isn't my thing. Which it isn't, so not even lying - I'm more of a forest kind of person. I've come across goths that like the beach at night, which is understandable. The temperature cools significantly once the sun sets and those pesky crowds also clear away. Perfect time for a small gathering around a little fire. Few drinks, good conversation, perhaps a ghost story or two. Not too bad, actually.

Clothing. Do I mostly wear black? Yup. Even in summer? Yup. The trick is to wear lightweight fabrics. Again, I'd never subject myself to the daylight during August, but once the sun sets, it gets much nicer. Goth gals still look lovely in light, breezy, black summer dresses and goth guys still look sharp in light black slacks and t-shirt. No one needs to break a sweat. Now, if you have to go out during the day in the summer, which sometimes just can't be avoided (graveyard photo shoot), be sure to wear a wide brimmed hat, slather on the SPF 100 sunblock, drink plenty of water, and try to stay in the shade. Personally, I've reached the point where nothing - absolutely nothing - drags me out of the AC in the summer during the day. Funeral for a friend? I'll send my condolences regarding his death. My co-workers wedding? I'll send my condolences regarding his death.

Critters. 'Aren't mosquitos attracted to dark colors?' Yup. 'So...aren't you plagued by mosquitos?' Oddly, no. 'What about poison ivy? What about Florida Man? Don't you live in terror of The Florida Man? And Skunk apes? And gators?' The flora and fauna hazards of Florida have been much less of an issue than the media had lead me to believe. Mosquitos certainly thrive here and I do get stabbed by one from time to time, but no more so than in other states I've called home. In fact, alligators, poison ivy, Florida Man, alien abductions, and skunk apes have all had minimal impact on my life here. I didn't say zero - just minimal.

Harassment from non-goths, i.e. The Normies. I genuinely thought I'd never see another darkly inclined person again when moving to Florida, but I was pleasantly surprised that not only are there goths here, but there are many goths here. One benefit of a large goth population is that the normies are accustomed to seeing us. They may not understand us, but at least they're used to us being part of the landscape. Thus, I've never been harassed or even lightly teased about being goth here in Florida. People don't even stare. I think they view it as just another character aspect, like being a sports fan or a serial killer. Additionally, many normies here are remarkably well informed about local goth culture. They usually know about the local goth clubs & sometimes about local goth bands. Many of them have even gone to the local goth clubs - for sure as a novelty lark - but they usually say they had a great time and would love to go again. Refreshingly different attitude from the people in some other places I've been.

Goth activities. "Do goth bands even play in Florida?" Wow, do they ever! I legit go to more shows here than even when I lived in LA. Bands playing for the first time here always say they're surprised at the large number of enthusiastic folks at the show and bands frequently return year after year, so as far as live music goes, we have an embarrassment of riches. If there's no live music going on, you can always head to a goth club for music and dancing on the weekend. Plus, there are various non-music events that usually interest most goths like horror conventions, vampire balls, oddity markets, etc. Just a couple weeks ago, I had to decide if I'd go to the Florida Bat Festival or a horror convention, so sometimes there just isn't enough time to do everything you'd like to and you have to pick and choose. (I went with the horror convention.)

So as you can see, no need to worry about the poor goths under the pitiless, Florida sun. We're managing quite well, actually. Because even in The Sunshine State, the sun does still set.

And the night belongs to us. 🦇🖤🦇