#goshdangdarnit

Dropped for you!

JOHN MULANEY QUOTES || ACCEPTING

@goshdangdarnit​ said: “You know those days when you’re like ‘this might as well happen’?”

“Herr Engineer, you are still adjusting. I understand this und I do not envy you, but every day of meine life here has been one of ‘those days.’”

“A flying cat has been invading meine home. I have been canoodling with a man from, presumably, the early 1000′s. Another one keeps eating meine birdseed. A man from the 2000′s has my exact voice, but speaks with ein American accent und is involved with a shark woman. Yesterday, I found a vending machine for fruit und it ate my change when I tried buying ein orange. It gave me ein apple when I kicked it.

     “they took her from me! she was my world, my everything, my darlin’ angel -- and they stole her away!” mccree laments drunkenly, leaning so heavily on the bar in front of him it’s a wonder he doesn’t fall over. “it’s a cruel world, ain’t it?” 

     any assumption that he might be talking about an important woman in his life is squashed the moment one notices the holster in his hands -- removed from his hip and missing the revolver it was crafted for. his earlier wailing had been directed at nobody in particular, but now he spins on his barstool to clutch the leather holster in the general direction of the man sitting next to him.