He was being awarded one boon of his choice and, should it be within Celestia’s power to grant it, it would be done. Technically, he could have made the argument that both princesses should have something to do with this process, but Luna had stepped back, with the reasoning of Sunlight being ‘Her guard’, and a soldier in her ranks.

He vaguely remembered being told to think on it, and approach the next day to request his award, before finding himself staring at the mirror in his room. His room at home. With his father, and his mother. The medals shining in the fading light of the day.

“I know my words before you left were harsh.”

The voice came from beside him somewhere, and he looked over. His father, the ever grizzled and feared Sunlit Spear (Well, feared by rookies at least) had, at some point, entered his room, “And I know we didn’t part on the best terms but…”

“Dad, it’s alright,” Sunlight stopped him quietly, “I was stupid, and thought myself invincible back then. I thought that war was glorious, and that it was only right I volunteered for it.” he looked back at his reflection, looking at the scar down his face, his arm, still in a sling, and his other arm, which he’d been having phantom pains in since he got back, “and I learned otherwise. I lost my friends, my innocence. I lost my foolishness, but the cost….”

Sunlit nodded quietly, unable to look at his son. Unexpectedly, Sunlight approached him and hugged him tightly, “I heard you pray you know. At my bedside. I thought you stopped being Celestian?”

“I did… but I thought, if she could keep you with me, maybe I’d been wrong all these years. C-C’mon, your mother’s got dinner on the table, and you’re gunna make me cry. I don’t do crying.”

Sunlight almost smiled.

The morning came with a quiet chirping of birds, and Sunlight felt a bit out of place. Months he’d been home already, and he still wasn’t used to hearing things be peaceful. But, dressed once more in his formal uniform for the Royal Guard, not the army, Sunlight was escorted from the front of the castle of the Royal Sisters, directly to the throne room so the princess could hear his request.

Sunlight had already decided what he was going to ask for. But upon being announced, and walking in, he couldn’t help but frown. As usual, Celestia was surrounded by ponies. Guards, the nobility considered her ‘advisors’, even maids and waitstaff were helping upkeep the place, and surrounded by guards.

“Sunlight Blade,” Celestia smiled at him from her throne, “You’re looking well.”

Sunlight bowed his head briefly in greeting, “Princess. It’s good to see you as well. I’m here concerning the orders pertaining to the requested reward you’ve bestowed upon me.”

He could feel all the eyes on him as he stood before the princess. Everyone was silent, curious about what he’d request. Celestia noted his calling her ‘Princess’, as opposed to ‘Goddess’, but she hid her curiosity well, “Of course. What is it you’d request?”

Sunlight considered it for a moment, glancing around, “With all due respect Princess, I would prefer this discussion be had in private.”

The quiet crowd went from looking at Sunlight to looking at Celestia curiously. It was not the first time he’d asked for this, and last time she had granted his request. With a nod, she waved a hand, “Then in private it will be. Guards, please remove everyone from the throne room, give us the room.”

A quiet grumble from the ponies in the room were expected, but they weren’t dumb enough to complain, given what had happened last time. In short term, the room was empty, save for Celestia and Sunlight Blade. Once the last ones had left, the immortal one sighed, relaxing somewhat in her chair, “Sunlight… if this is-”

“When I was on the battlefield,” He interrupted her, much to her surprise, ignoring her no doubt refusal of his unspoken request, “I had a lot of reason to grow. Knowing that, if I made one mistake, I would die. That I’d bring such pain to my family,” He rubbed his still healing shattered arm quietly for a moment, “I was there for six weeks, fighting skirmishes, volunteering so others wouldn’t have to. My first real fight taught me the horrors of war, and why we strive so hard to never participate, unless absolutely required.”

Celestia’s surprise quietly faded, and her face turned dark, looking down. Sunlight didn’t notice, or if he did he didn’t comment, “I was forced to watch as my comrades, friends and fellow soldiers, guards and even our medics were killed, slaughtered by the most terrifying foe I could imagine. Insectoid, cannibalistic, if nothing else just for damaging morale. It worked, believe me.”

He sniffed, looking back up at Celestia. His eyes dead, but intense. A strange dichotomy Celestia had only seen a few times before, “And I prayed. I prayed to all of you. I prayed to Luna that our night be uninterrupted, to Twilight that our unity give us strength. To Cadance… that we would get home to see our families again. And to you most of all. I prayed for strength from you, begging for guidance. Guidance that never came.”

She flinched at the accusation, but when she went to reply, he held up his hand, “Please, I’m not finished. By the end of it all, I was praying purely out of habit, I think. For, there was no answer coming. ‘It’s just a test’ I told myself, ‘They’ve a plan, they’ll save those of us worthy’. A selfish, disgusting thought if ever I had one,” The grimace on his face twisted into ugly self loathing, “And I thought like this for years. Decades. I thought that the big issues with the world were tests. I made one last prayer when I begged for the power to stand up again, the power to fight again, to give my fellows enough time to run to safety. And something answered me. For a moment, I thought it was you. My faith was strong again, and I lashed out in righteous fury. But…”

“Now you know it wasn’t me,” She finished, and he laughed humourlessly, “No princess. I knew it wasn’t before you told me. it didn’t feel right. You have always glowed, a gentle warmth for your ponies to bask in. This? This was burning, heat and fire to obliterate my enemies. I didn’t know what it was until you told me, but I knew it wasn’t you. When I woke up, I had a lot of time to myself. Father was working hard to train new recruits into the guard to replace the volunteers who had died, my mother’s flower business was probably the busiest she’d ever experienced, so it was just me. Gordon was helping with the wounded, and I wasn’t allowed to. So, I had a lot of time to think, and I’ve come to some realisations that, now that I’ve come to the conclusions, make a lot of sense.”

Curiosity and her habit of teaching the young overcame the solar monarch’s grim thoughts, and she cocked an eyebrow at him, “And, what conclusions would they be?” She asked, not unkindly.

“One,” He began, “The alicorn race are far from all powerful, otherwise you would never allow such harm to befall your people. You are far too kind hearted to let the people you see as your responsibility come to harm when you could prevent it.”

“Two,” he continued, “You, none of you in fact, can hear our prayers. What it essentially comes down to is us begging someone else to solve our problems, and that will never happen. We have to step up to fix our own problems and find our own solutions.”

“Like you did with the retreat you called,” She said softly, standing from her seat and approaching her battered and scarred guard, “it was admirable.”

“It was foolish,” he corrected, to which she laughed.

“It was foolish,” She said in agreement, strangely warmly, “But what else had we come to expect of you?”

He nodded, though doubted he was so like he used to be, “And Third. I couldn’t be who I was, and get through that alive.”

She nodded sadly, “Unfortunately, that is the way of war. It affects us, and rarely in a good way. I would even hesitate to say ever in a good way.”

He bowed a head respectfully, “Indeed. When I got home, I had a lot of time to think. Given my previous thoughts, and despite the outreaching of my priest, I came to the realisation of what, I believe, you’ve been trying to tell me this whole time, and I had my head too far up my ass to see this whole time. You, your sister, your niece and your student…”

“None of you are gods.”

Celestia smiled sadly, and nodded, “I have tried. I’m sorry it took such a traumatic event, and such loss, for you to learn this. And I’m sorry I couldn’t convince you earlier.”

“I was too stubborn in my belief,” he replied quietly, “That you were being modest, trying to be approachable. I used to stammer in your presence sometimes, and trip over myself to make you happy. I was like a puppy. A big, armoured puppy with magic.”

He paused, and, for a moment, Celestia wondered if she should say something. But he cleared his throat suddenly, “But I’m not that puppy anymore. And in spite of everything I’ve come to realise, despite all of my beliefs being turned upside down, and then thrown out of the window, I’ve come down to the basics again. One, You aren’t a real goddess, nor are your family members. Two, You’re a very real, very normal mare, who only rules through unfortunate circumstance, and three, Life for people like me is far too short to waste on absurdities like religion, or worrying what happens to me when I die.”

Celestia looked over this new, mildly scarier Sunlight Blade. Scarred face, arm in a sling, permanent scarring over his horn from using far too much magic for him to handle (Though the doctors said it was only aesthetic, and would probably go away with time), standing in his dress uniform. He hadn’t smiled once since she’d seen him, and according to reports from medical staff, he hadn’t smiled since he’d gotten back, not even when seeing his parents again, or talking to his psychologist.

“Princess, I’m a broken stallion,” He began again softly, “I have nightmares every night of my fellows dying around me, and have to fight back the urge to draw my sword whenever I hear a loud sound. I find it hard to smile, despite knowing there is much around to smile about, and I’m still readjusting to not being around the other soldiers. But what I wish to ask of you just might prove to you I’m still me. I’m still the Sunlight Blade who left, just older. Wiser. Perhaps in need of a little help to put himself back together.”

“And what would your request be?”

He tried to speak, failed, then a wry grin crossed his face, much to Celestia’s shock, “A few years back, I came to you professing my love. And you turned me down, told me that I held you on too high a pedestal. That you had no way of ever taking advantage of such a thing. A few years later, when the rumours of you stepping down were circulating, I told you you would always be my goddess, no matter what. I might have been young and foolish, I might have held you up higher than you were comfortable at the time. But I meant those words. And I don’t regret them. I feel as much affection for you then as I do now, just with less religious fawning.”

Celestia blinked, and frowned, “Sunlight…”

“I’m not asking you to love me,” he said gently, “I ask only for a kiss.”

Silence. Celestia blinked, “A kiss.”

“Yes.”

She sighed, “Sunlight, you’re aware you could ask for anything? Anything at all within my power? Equestria at your fingertips, and that’s your request?”

“I don’t need Equestria at my fingertips,” He said, finally a proper, small smile appearing on his otherwise calm face as he took her arm with his good hand, “Not when I have the world right in front of me.”

Celestia herself, garbed in resplendent, gold gilt robes. Beside her strode her sister, clad in armour. Cadenza, Shining Armour, Twilight Sparkle... They were all here. Startlingly, the commander of their forces was the tough, no-nonsense Tempest Shadow.

Although, now that he thought about it, that wasn’t so shocking.

A quick debrief of the various fights, and Celestia looking over the group uneasily, came a simple, but tense question.

“Is Sunlight Blade among the dead?”

Gordon paused, looking at the eldest princess. The others glanced her way too, then looked to Gordon expectantly. He winced, looking at the ground.

“He.. He stood his ground. He’s still back there, fighting to give us time to retreat.”

Celestia looked stricken, then angry, “That fool,” She swore, looking back the way the retreating force had come from, “How fast can we get there?”

“It took us nearly two hours to get here, we don’t know how far along Chrysalis’ army was when we left,” Gordon admitted, “I don’t know...”

“Twilight. You and Discord work on widescale teleportation, or at least a method to get us there in time. He’s sacrificing himself to try to save these ponies, We’re going to have to pull him out of the fire.”

“Sister-”

The glare Celestia levelled at her sister silenced her, but it was clear she didn’t approve of Celestia’s decision to rush their march, all over a unicorn who was probably already dead. Gordon could only hope they made it in time to at least have a body to bury.

Celestia, Tempest, Gordon and Luna were teleported first, with Gordon as their anchor point. When they arrived, the fight was already clearly over. Gordon watched as the warhammer slammed into Sunlight’s chest. He had blood pouring down his face, cuts across his arms. Unfortunately, the trip had left them momentarily disoriented, and the group couldn’t react.

And then, chaos. The group watched in abject shock as the magical destruction began. They felt the heat from where they were standing as he lashed out, melting and burning through everything his magic touched. Gordon heard Celestia gasp, saying something along the lines of ‘it can’t be’, before the sound of space stretching gave way to the rest of the army appearing a company at a time, and Celestia was leading a charge towards the now glowing Sunlight Blade’s position.

Gordon wasn’t sure how he managed to catch the near unconscious unicorn before he hit the ground, but he did remember the last of the fight before the enemy withdrew.

Sunlight grimaced. That was true, as much as he didn’t want to think about it, there was no real way any of them were coming out of the coming days alive. Not if they fought, and nobody left an enemy army on their tail. Not if they had a choice.

“Not if you’re not here to die,” He said grimly. Gordon felt a shiver up his spine and he looked sideways at his friend. Something about his look made him uneasy, “We were meant to be reinforced weeks ago. They never arrived. I think it’s safe to say they won’t be coming now. But I won’t see all the people I had behind me die. Not now.”

“What did you have planned?” Gordon queried warily. Sunlight’s jaw tightened, as did his hold on the sword he’d recovered to replace his old one.

“A retreat... And I will stay behind to stall them,” He replied grimly, much to Gordon’s alarm, “I can’t hold them long. But a force that big takes more time to move, and any amount of time I can stall will mean more of you survive.”

“That’s crazy!” Gordon cried, “You’ll be killed for certain! That’s an army Sunlight! Think about this!”

“I have,” the finality of his tone shut the griffon’s beak quickly, “If given the choice, I’d rather I die, and you all live, than we all die here. If nothing else, we can add whoever lives through here back to the next force that fights these bastards.”

Gordon was quiet, but eventually he sighed, and left, resigning himself to losing a friend. Another one.

Within the hour, Sunlight had prepared his several hundred survivors into a cohesive enough unit to take the wounded with them when they left, telling them he’d be ‘right behind you!’ after he finished a few things. He never joined them. And so, when the enemy army arrived, it was just Sunlight Blade, standing tall, surrounded by the dead, and looking determined.

“Changelings of the Mad Queen!” He called, pulling out every shred of courage he had left to face his death, and stall as long as he could, “Lay down your arms! Return to the lands of the Sane, and cast off your tyrant! If you do, I swear, I will spare each and every one of you.”

The sound of laughter rattled around his soul. He’d expected as much. He was alone, against a horde of apocalyptic proportions. Why fear one unicorn? His grip on his sword tightened, and he took a deep breath as, as one, the army started marching forward. No need to rush, against one enemy.

Such a Fool, Sunlight Blade. Where do you get off thinking you can halt them, even for a moment?

He closed his eyes with a deep breath, letting the tromp of their boots fade from his mind as he began to pray.

Celestia, bless me with your grace. The strength to fight this, my greatest foe, for the sake of my comrades. My people. And your kingdom. Lend me your strength, and give me the fortitude to weather the oncoming storm, that I might see your sun rise once more.

He reached deep for his magic reserves, still depleted after his last battle, and opened his eyes, horn blazing with heat and mana as he summoned his armour, a dozen blazing blades burning with heat forming behind him as he took a grounded stance.

“So be it!” he called in response to their march, before abandoning all defense, and charging towards the oncoming horde, sword swinging, magic blazing in a whirling dervish of death and fire. The smell of burnt flesh filled his nostrils again as he hacked and slashed at who and whatever brought itself within range. He felt the impacts of countless blades slamming into his ethereal armour. His reserves, already low, were rapidly dwindling. A reckless swing at a nearby swordsman saw his head clear his fellows, a trail of blood following the curve of the blade’s tip as it followed through. 

And then, impact. He felt it on his chest, and it knocked the wind out of him. His magical armour shattered, and time slowed. In shocking slow motion, he turned his head as he lost the ground beneath him. A larger, stronger looking changeling. A cruel intelligence in his eye and a warhammer still slamming into his quarry’s sternum.

Sunlight wasn’t sure how far he fell. It felt like miles until he hit the ground. He had lost his sword some time between being hit, and landing. And he had no idea where it had gone along such a short time. Everything hurt. His horn sparked uselessly as he tried to call on his magic. Empty. The commander approached. He was only aware of it as the ‘ling entered his field of vision, a smug look on his face.

“Admirable courage,” The commander said sarcastically, “But stupid. Very, very stupid. You killed enough of my drones, now I get the pleasure of putting you down myself.”

Celestia... I need your help now. And if not you, anyone. Anything. I will give you anything, if you just give me the power to stall them longer!

His horn sparked again, and the creature above him laughed, echoed among his fellows. But something was different. Something called to him. Something vast. Something bottomless.

Without question, Sunlight embraced it.

And in that moment, his horn blazed back to life, spitting fire and plasma as he felt energy. Limitless, hot, burning. Powerful. With a roar, he pushed, and the look of shock on the Changeling’s face became one of pain as a burning shockwave burst forth, flinging the surrounding soldiers across their own ranks as Sunlight stood tall. There was so much. it burned. It hurt. He could feel it, mana flowing from everything. His eyes overflowed with it. He couldn’t stop it bursting from his horn, his very pores leaked it, giving him an almost ethereal, elemental appearance as heat shimmer cloaked him scorching power. The ground beneath his feet rapidly scorched, burning away as he stood tall. Dimly, he heard the call to kill him. 

Bring it.

With another roar, and a surge of mana, his armour reformed around him, blades swinging into existence. Without thought, he sent the entire lot of them spinning through the ranks of changelings, not watching as they scythed through the troops as they touched them, throwing out his arm as pure energy whipped out of his fingertips, turning to burning plasma as they travelled, draping over and, indeed, cutting right through the ranks. The other hand thrown out as an explosion rocked the air and earth as he let loose. Everything that got close was burned away, scorched to ashes and atoms. 

And then, suddenly, it was too much. With a scream, he tried to vent it. Anywhere. Everywhere. Beams of white hot light burst from the cuts on his flesh, from his eyes, ears, his horn became a pillar of burning pain searing into his skull. He felt something running down his face, and then the power was gone. A wave of nausea hit him, and then pain. His golden armour, the pride and joy of the Equestrian Royal Forces, was molten upon the ground, with only patches of what he was wearing still on him. And this time, the army, what was left of it after such brutality, looked at him in abject terror. He turned his eyes on them...

And then an explosion rocked the world, he lost his balance, and he fell. Vaguely, he made out screams of fear and pain, and then white feathers. He thought they were feathers, anyway. Familiar voices. Something tan, with wings. There was something awfully familiar about the noises it was making. So familiar....

But as he walked, and the adrenaline began to wear off, he felt weariness coming over him. Angrily, he fought it off. He paid no mind the the reverent manner in which his fellow soldiers parted for his entry, and only stopped when he arrived at their makeshift medical area. Area, given they had nearly no supplies. He found the few medically trained members they had, and the young priest, sporting a bandage of his own and a sling, mace hanging by his side as he worked his magic, what was left of it, on another young soldier with an arrow in his side. Sunlight managed a weak, half-hearted smile to the griffon before falling to his knees beside the next most likely to survive, and summoning up his own magical reserves.

“...That was an impressive song, Sunlight Blade,” The griffon said quietly as they worked, healing those they could with magic, and doing what they could for the dying, “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I had to,” The tired unicorn replied softly, “If I hadn’t, we probably would have died there. As it is, I’m surprised we didn’t. I’m not a leader Gordon... I’m just a soldier.”

The griffon paused, looking at the unicorn. Covered in blood, mud and several scrapes, cuts and bruises of his own, a little incredulous.

“Sunlight... nopony else- No, nobody else, could have done what you did,” He insisted, “You rallied troops ready to die, and gave them enough hope, enough fighting spirit, to beat back an attacking army many times their size. And your fighting inspired us further. You were... Well, terrifying, if I’m honest.”

“I’m just a soldier, like everyone else,” Sunlight insisted tiredly, pressing a glowing hand to an older soldier with a broken wrist, and watching as it jerked painfully back into place, and healed, fighting the drowsiness that came from deep healing magic, “I’m no different from anyone else here.”

Gordon, seeing this wasn’t going anywhere, just shook his head, but didn’t pursue the matter further. There would be no point.

They finished their business quietly, with Sunlight refusing Gordon’s attempts to heal him, insisting he was ‘fine’, before collapsing in exhaustion.