Goodbye message to a dear friend.
Goodbye, Angel.
I know that isn't your name, but I feel it's appropriate since I assume that's what you are now, an angel. Or, that's what you've always been in my eyes. This seems so surreal and I kind of feel like this is just a very bad dream that I have yet to wake up from... But every time I pinch myself the sting tells me it isn't a dream but nightmarish reality.
I remember being at my first day of after school daycare and Sally put us together because I was an anxious crying mess with no friends. You welcomed me with open arms and we made a snowman together before going in a having hot chocolate. Your laugh made me laugh and it didnt take long before we started calling each other best friends.
In first grade we joined the school choir and gymnastics club which your mother filmed since she attended every assembly. In second and third grade we teased each other about our crushes that we were convinced we were in love with.
Once I changed schools we stayed in contact and we decided to try new things. I would go to your figure skating competitions and you would attend my dance recitals. Your mom would take us swimming on Fridays in the summer and sledding at the park in winter. I discovered my allergy to rodents because you had two pet rats that your dad never got used to and we were always the first one on each other's birthday party invitation lists.
We drifted after a while, I'm not entirely sure why. I had to move away and that didnt help the splitting friendship. Even though we stopped talking, I still thought of you every time I walked past the Tim Horton's we would go to after gymnastics and the old playground we used to hang out on. I still have the pictures from my birthdays where we would hug each other as tight as our little arms would allow. I never forgot about you, and I hope you never forgot about me.
We bumped into your dad at the grocery store not long ago. He said you were doing well and had gotten into modeling. I can't tell you how proud of you I was. I always had a feeling you would do something wonderful. Unfortunately, by the time I remembered to ask him for your phone number, I was already in the car on my way home.
Emma, you will always have a special place in my heart. You are not the first I have lost to the darkness of the mind but I pray you are the last. Losing you leaves a gaping hole in my chest and I hope that you are happier wherever you are now. I know that I, and your family, miss you so much already.
Rest in peace, Em. I'll see you again someday.
Lots of love.
xx
