#good reading

Can bring tears of happiness about good moments, valuable memories and how life is precious, but also fragile. That’s why it’s so special, because we just live it once (as far as we know).

In July 25th, of this year, 2024, I lost someone who I most loved in my life. Not the kinda of romantic love, but the kinda you would move mountains, cross a continent just to hug this person or having a lunch time together. Go to a restaurant, watch a movie. The kinda you would protect at all costs. The kinda of love that makes you have afraid of death because you want to live to this person, make them know they’re loved and appreciate every tiny part of the day. Be grateful because they exist and make sure they’re deeply loved and cared. That’s how I felt and still do. I would gave up everything just to say “I hope you have a nice day at work” or “You had dinner yet?”. Little actions that could change someone’s day.

For a couple months, all I wanted it was making the pain go away, to end the suffering and I thought I wasn’t going to get better. But that’s life, we struggle a lot and sometimes we just want to give up — but as for me, I want to live, there’s no life without sadness, angry, happiness.

When I started to read the book, I confess, it was really triggering to me because of the recent events. But, I gave a chance and it was one of the best choices that I could ever have made.

Maybe it was destiny this book showing in my life. I bought it when released but I never opened it — not until last week.

“Everyone’s lives could have ended in an infinite number of ways. It’s never too late to pursue a dream.”  — This is one of que quotes I liked. I keep thinking and thinking, I would rather live this life, missing you and crying over and over than living a life where I could never have met you. You changed my life always and I’ll never forget about you, always going to carry inside of my heart and soul.

“Never underestimate the big importance of small things.” — This one made me think about my currently life and decisions I made. We just live once and we should do what makes us smile and also don’t regretting about saying things, about traveling, meeting people, living. Small things are the best things, a kid smile, to pet a dog, adopt a cat, plant a tree, reading a book, drinking a coffee with your friend, make a silly draw, going for a walk, call people you love and care about. Enjoy the very little moments of your (our) day. Make sure people you care and love are okay and safe. We never know about how’s someone else’s day are going, maybe a word — or any action — could change it all.

“Life is strange. How we live it all at once. In a straight line. But really that’s not the whole picture. Because life isn’t simply made of the things we do, but the things we don’t do too. And every moment of our life is a kind of turning. Think about it. Think about how we start off, as this set thing. Like the seed of a tree planted in the ground. And then we grow, and at first, we are a trunk.

But then the tree that is our life develops branches. And think of all those branches, departing from the trunk at different heights. And think of all those branches, branching off again, heading in often opposing directions. Think of those branches becoming other branches and those becoming twigs. And think of the end of each of those twigs, all in different places, having started from the same one. Life is like that but on a bigger scale. New branches are formed every second of every day. And from our perspective- from everyone’s perspective- it feels like a continuum. Each twig has traveled only one journey. But there are still other twigs. And there are also other days. Other lives that would have been different if you’d taken different directions earlier in your life. This is a tree of life”

“Any life. Dream big. You can be anything you want to be. Because in one life, you are.” — That’s what I mostly appreciate about life. You don’t need to have money or anything material to be happy. You could just have someone that means the world for you, that makes you wake up and put your feet on the ground every morning. To be able to fight for, to have afraid of die because you want to be with this someone, because for you, this someone means your life. I want to be a teacher because I love and respect children. I’m always trying to improve myself, studying, searching, trying my best everyday, because it’s the life i’m fighting for. One day, getting marry and be happy around kids and maybe one dog or two (and five cats, who knows). I want to cook for my husband and my kids, to help them making their homework, teaching them about kindness and how we should treat each other with love and respect, to make a tiny difference in the world. Spread kindness. I want to travel with them, make jokes, taking them to school, see them graduate, make a movie night. There’s so many things I want before leave this world. I want to have a family and a happy place to call home.

“ There are patterns to life….Rhythms. It is so easy, while trapped in just one life, to imagine that times of sadness or tragedy or failure, or fear are a result of that particular existence. That it is a by-product of living a certain way, rather than simply living. I mean, it would have made things a lot easier if we understood there was no way of living that can immunize you against sadness. And that sadness is intrinsically part of the fabric of happiness. You can’t have one without the other. Of course, they come in different degrees and quantities. But there is no life where you can be in a state of sheer happiness forever. And imagining there is just breeds more unhappiness in the life you are in.”

Next month will be one year knowing you. One year that you gave to me this sparkle to live again, to smile, to built something. To be more kind, patient, understanding others. To love more, take risks, you made me appreciate life. “ You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it.” — That’s how I feel, you made me wanting to live it.

“ Life sometimes simply gave you a whole new perspective by waiting around long enough for you to see it.” 

You gave me a second chance to live. Even if isn’t living with you and sharing memories, experiences, wondering how was your day or even traveling together, I still feel you around here. Doesn’t matter how much time will pass, I will always, deeply, completely, sincerely love you so much, with all my heart and soul. The world should be grateful for having you for a special time.

If I could go to The Midnight Library I would have chosen the first book with you in it.

You’re the best thing that happened to me and I’ll always carry your memory everywhere. My beloved Chicago Boy.