#good bye?

I really really hate to say this, but I'm starting to want to leave this fandom. I mean I'll be a fan and all and still read the manga, but I'm thinking about leaving. I really can't stand being treated so differently. I made an OC wondering if things would be different and not like my other account, but I was wrong. It got worse. 

If I roleplay as an OC or a canon character I still get treated the same way, which is really shitty. It really is. I've currently joined a new fandom and I love it there. Everyone's welcoming and kind, even if we're all new we're all nice to each other. But this.. this is the exact opposite from this fandom, which is sad.

I'm not trying to sound rude, bitchy, or a whiny little prick, but I'm just saying how I feel. Sorry, if you don't like it, but that's that. I might as well delete this account, delete my other one, which I love a lot, and give away my newer one.

I'm really done. I can't handle this anymore. It's really depressing wanting to leave and being treated like shit. I can't handle it anymore. I'm also going to reblog this on my other accounts probably? Or just make a whole new post and see if anyone gives a crap about me anymore.

I made friends on here, but they all left me. I had fun roleplaying with you guys, but I'm done. I'm sure if I delete no one would care, no one would miss me if I never came back. I just know it. No one cared before, no one cares now, and I doubt anyone will care in the future.

I know no one will read this either, so I might just make a new post and put it on my canon character's account and give away my other one. I'm just done with this. Sorry, I guess?

Me: Good bye.

The bus driver: *stares at me*

Me:

Me, whispering inside my own head: Did I just-

Me: *walks into the bus and sighs*

Sawang-sawa na ako na ako yung laging iniiwan.  Pwede ba ngayon, ako naman? Ako naman yung lalayo para hindi ako gaanong masasaktan.  Lagi na lang akong iniiwanan at napag-iiwanan.  

Salamat sa misunderstood messages, sa mga kilos na masyadong na-over think, sa mga tingin na kunwari, may kahulugan.

I was nothing for the past months.  Napakasarap kasing mag-assume.

Actually, the only thing that's holding me back is this thing that I feel for you... that I have to let go.

Akala ko kasi appreciated ako.  Akala ko mahalaga ako.  Akala ko, may posibilidad... yung pag-asa.. Akala ko, hindi na ako magiging back-up girl.

Patay na patay na ako dahil sa akala.  Bocha.

At ngayong tina-type ko bawat salita rito, pinipigilan ko yung pagpatak ng luha ko dahil nandito ang tatay ko.  Umiyak na nga ako hanggang nakatulog ako kagabi, tapos ngayon iiyak na naman ako.

Nakikita ko na yung mangyayari sa dulo.  Babalik lang naman tayo sa pagiging estranghero sa buhay ng isa't isa.  Yung mga kinatatakutan kong marinig, alam kong malapit ko na ring marinig.  

Binubuo ko na nga yung kastilyo ko, saka naman dumating yung malaking alon.  P*nyeta.

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