#godscumsock

you might’ve heard some of these already and i definitely don’t consider myself the Best with headcanons but like enjoy ig lol

- if theres an animal, he will touch it. No matter how dangerous. he probably owns a ton of them too. he has absolutely no fear when it comes to animals literally nothing could phase him. (except magpies.. of course)

- stans coles and he collected all the mini collectables Multiple times

- actually bought one of the red hands on ebay for like $600 probably

- fuck woolies

- has very strong opinions on ice cream & icy poles

- golden gaytimes god tier

- mad the paddle pop lion doesn’t have an actual name

- actually contacted the company about it but they got mad at him and threatened to call the police on him if he didn’t leave them alone

- blackcurrent is his favourite zooper dooper flavour (fairy floss is a backup)

- he enjoys kangaroo meat

- he and turkey are actually kinda friends now, or on good terms with each other at least

- he and the rest of Englands Kids all complain about how shitty England is as a father and they all keep a collective journal tallying all the times he missed out on good dad puns

- he and nz have a brother like relationship, they consider each other rivals and are extremely competitive esp against each other but like, at the end of the day they’re still there for each other

- he & wy have a great relationship & he is the best big bro Ever

- you bet your ASS he got so fucking depressed when steve irwin died

- picks on america bc of his shit as hell gun laws & they argue a Lot bc of it

- he’ll probably leave spiders in places you Wouldn’t Wanna Find Spiders if u like upset him or something so like don’t do that

- he Will tell tourists about drop bears and scare the hell out of them

- surprisingly, isn’t very enthusiastic about holidays, doesn’t celebrate halloween, does enjoy christmas though and has a barbie w the other australian micronations and nz down at the beach every year