#godesert

But a chuckle spilled at first. It would be followed by laughter, increasing in volume. The question was not humorous in the slightest, yet the harsh irony within it got to her. 

“Does it truly matter to you? Gilles? Or another test to see for yourself how black this heart of mine is?” Her grin was wide, abnormal. To from to this man how different she was from ‘herself’ brought her joy in a way it was not intended. As how much she enjoyed denying God in the face of believers it brought her joy to disappoint and anger Gilles again and again.

“This is not a matter of pride, dear Gilles. It is a matter of desire. A desire to hurt them just as equally as they hurt ‘me’. I must say that I failed on keeping it equally however. But where else can it go? This eternal feeling of hatred and vengeance?”

Just after these words her expression would shift. Silence would fall for a moment before Avenger continued.

“You ... have no idea what it is like to live with a burning feeling within you that never cools. A frustration that never leaves you alone no matter what you do to vent it. Don’t attempt to scrutinize and judge me, bastard. YOU made me this way, you created me like this and you dare complain about it’s functions and the way it works?”

let the prelatis call gilles a bitch

;; they wouldn’t, they consider him their friend