#gnomaphobia

So, a helicopter was flying around, announcing a missing person, so we were trying to keep everyone in my family inside. My little brother (age 4.92 years, a very happy-go-lucky-rough-and-tumble kid) slipped through the back door to where I was (I was attempting to hear the exact situation in case they said anything about the kidnapper, so I would know what to look out for). I shooed him back inside, but it seems he overheard a little of what was being announced. When I came back inside, he asked me gravely: “Are there gnomes outside?” I asked in reply “Are you afraid of Gnomes?”. His reply was a simple “yes”.

We played along, in an effort to keep him inside, as he had a knack for getting around any impediment placed in his way. We were looking forward to recounting the story to our Mom when she got home.

When she did arrive, one of my sisters already had dinner ready for her. We sat down at the table, made some small talk, then brought up the helicopter incident. Finally, we got to the part about the gnomes.

In order to properly demonstrate, I asked Sean again “are you afraid of gnomes?”, and received another “yes”.

Then I asked, with genuine curiosity: “what is the scariest thing about gnomes?”

the response was breathtakingly grave: “they can kill you at any time”.

I asked two more questions:

“do gnomes have any weaknesses?” (thinking to comfort him with his own words)

“no”

“are there any places safe from gnomes?”

“Lake Cuyamaca” he answered, brimming with confidence

(lake Cuyamaca is a camp we have been going to for the past few years every new years.)