he says it so casually, like his ex-wife doesnât want her head on a platter. itâs fine, right? doesnât entirely matter which way you slice it. heâs hers as much as sheâs his. she even loves him, for whatever itâs worth. he earns himself a happy little smile, feet definitely in his lap, because he didnât tell her she canât (and never does. whipped). so, maybe sheâs a little insecure about them. about relationships in general. blame joseph. she does.
â you say that now, but what if you change your mind, hm? â she muses, looking up from the book in her lap. â iâm not that special, you know. but- i love you anyway, stupid lumbersnack man. â
@glitchedmusesâ :: â You got me, okay? and Iâm not going anywhere. â - bobo
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she wants to believe him. she wants to find that trust so easily; to let him wrap her in his arms. she canât bring herself to. she canât bring herself to let him love her or care about her. nothingâs changed, has it? nothing ever changes. she understands now where they stand. was he ever happy? was she? and itâs in that moment the reality of it all sets in. two, nearly three, children, years of dinners and affection, and for what? she never wanted to be his entire world. she only wanted to be a part of it, but it wasnât good enough was it? she wasnât good enough.
ocean eyes lift, red rimmed and so tired. she isnât sure she believes him. she isnât sure she trusts him. how can she? â i give you my honor. i give you my hand and heart, with the faith that you, above all others will be my partner. i give you my patience, my love, and my strength when your own fail you. i give you a part of myself, and though you don't own me, know that i am yours. from this day forward. i vow to be your partner in every venture to take, always by your side, from this day forward. i will not lie or decieve you, as youâve promised to never deceive me. that this life, with you, will be safe, and happy, and loving. â
oh, shit. sheâs quoting wedding vows at you, buddy. sheâs quoting her vows to you.Â
â i understand it meant nothing to you. that your desire to see andrew ryan fall was so all consuming that even i, your wife, couldnât show you that there was more to existence than having things you didnât need to begin with. i grieved you. our children grieved you. â she murmurs, but she isnât moving. she doesnât need to. â and my hope for you is that you find that fulfillment that i couldnât give you, but i wonât let myself fall back into you like you didnât hurt me. i wonât let you decide that you value me or whatever this is. because while you say you wonât leave, there will always be another andrew. there will be another person youâll be blinded by, and all over again, youâll forget those words youâre giving me right now. â
so, she stands up. sheâs pulling herself together. if you want her back, youâll have to do better than that.
@glitchedmusesâ ::Â â You got me, okay? and Iâm not going anywhere. â - frank ( the wheel said atlas. so you got atlas. )
âYouâre not a great person.â She raised her head from where it was resting against his shoulder. Resting her chin on top of her folded hands, a small tilt of her head as if she was considering the words. Kaia was no stranger to the fact that her husband was not a good person. There was no such thing as being a good person when it came to being a bounty hunter, right? âYouâre not exactly a bad person, either.â She could be biased, of course. She knew the sort of secret sweetheart Boba was.
"Are you from Ikea, because I want to bang my toe against you without knowing how to pronounce your name." That one was good, right?
@glitchedmuses//for frank? because u also said i could.
1. does your muse like her name? has she ever thought of changing it/goes by a nickname?
she isnât the biggest fan of her given name. mostly because itâs so long. from what she understands, her dad wanted to call her dena marie, which he does, but her mother didnât like just dena. she tends to change her name when she gets married by shortening it, or she goes by nicknames. her nicknames include:
dena, maddie, dee, mads, or any variation of the sort.
4. has your muse ever struggled with their relationship to womanhood and femininity?
yes and no. it depends on who raises her for the most part. itâs very rare sheâs raised by her biological parents, and because she is a girl, sheâs had to deal with the fact that when she is taken from her father, itâs because he doesnât have room or the means for a little girl. itâs led to some resentment for not being a boy, full on crisis on her part when she is left to her own devices, and more often than not, she doesnât deal well with her gender, femininity, and being a woman in general due to the fact itâs very rare for her to have a mom to guide her through those struggles. itâs easier for her as an adult and copious amounts of therapy teaching her that womanhood and feeling feminine isnât wrong. that coupled with miriam steinman who taught her that she could be a woman and still be one of the boys (since thatâs all her dad has).
now, sheâs very feminine and very much in tune with her woman side. thereâs nothing anyone can do to take it from her.
9. how is her relationship with her father?
this depends on the father youâre talking about and the father in question.Â
john; itâs very complicated. in no verse was she born in america and constantly in contact with him. she loves her father, but she knows she isnât dean, or sam, or adam, or henry. sheâs always been an independent person, and she doesnât ask for help if she can get away with it. she loves him, but she doesnât entirely trust that his people permanence is all that great. sheâs more like him than sheâs willing to admit, too. so, they butt heads a lot.
sander; is probably her favorite person on earth, and she will kill/be killed for him. if she isnât with john, sheâs with sander, so he provided the security she didnât get from her father. she knows she isnât actually his, but she wouldnât be half of the woman she is now without him and his jewish dad guilt.
12. does she tend to surround herself with women or men more? Â is there a particular reason for one or the other?
she tends to avoid as many people as possible. it started as a language barrier and seeming much older than she was. if there is a large host of people in her life, itâs pretty evenly mixed. it depends on who is raising her and her daily life in childhood. if sheâs raised by john, itâs mostly the people sheâs met in school. if sander raises her, itâs the whole neighborhood of kids. all of those friendships are the ones she has in adulthood. mostly josh steinman. thatâs her bestie.
16. if your muse is queer in any way, talk about how that impacts their view on womanhood?
mm, yes. dena is a bisexual dumpster fire, and we love her so much. so, in terms of womanhood, itâs helped the identity crisis, but itâs given her an appreciation of femininity. for a girl who can hear or see something once and repeat it verbatim, she knows she lacks the confidence that most of her partners of the female variety have and thereâs a hint of envy behind it. nothing that would define her on a personality level. she will forever question her own womanhood due to trauma. nothing really changes that.
18. was she raised in a progressive or sexist household? was it more neutral?
if sheâs with either of her fathers, progressive. neither said she couldnât do something because she was a girl, and neither used her gender as a means to put her down.Â
if sheâs with her grandfather, very sexist. gerald believed women should be seen and not heard, that a womanâs place was in the kitchen, etc. he isnât a good man and most of her trauma comes from him. itâs fine.
28. is there a female figure from history, or current times, she looks up to?
again, itâs going to depend on the verse, but if you ask her, sheâs going to tell you miriam steinman. why? because thatâs the closest thing to a mama she has. you can take that gift to earth from her cold, dead hands.Â
29. does she prefer to be perceived as cute or sexy? does she not want to be viewed on an attraction basis at all?
it depends on who is doing the perceiving. she hates being called cute. by anyone. ever. but if sheâs built a relationship on her body, sheâs going to use it entirely. if she hasnât, she would rather not be viewed at all? she likes to blend in and disappear whenever possible. being the cute or sexy one in town doesnât do anything for that skill she has.Â
37. how do they view motherhood?
motherhood terrifies her. sheâs a mother in most verses, but sheâs also french. so, from an american sense, it probably seems like she doesnât take as much active involvement with her kids. it isnât true, she knows sheâs raising little humans and they need to be independent, but she has no clue what sheâs doing on the daily. most of her kids: frankie, simon, rj, vera etc. are NOT planned, and she has no sense of surety, even if the father/her have been together for years. she thinks the best mothers are the ones who can say they listened to their child, they gave them everything they need, and if she can swing a want, she will. but no. motherhood terrifies her. leave her alone. itâs also the one thing she feels sheâs ever done right in her life.Â
49. if your muse dates men, what is their process of vetting them?  do they have a checklist of things to look for to decide whether or not theyâre safe?  any kind of tests or questions they use to make a judgement.
thereâs a process? this is about to get real questionable. dena has a habit, if the relationship isnât one from youth, to date dangerous, older men. a cannibal? did that. loves him. a drug dealer? hot. yes. a demon? spicy. the only judgement she uses is how well they can rail her into next week. thatâs it. sex is the test. why? because her grandfather lowkey traumatized her into believing laying on her back is all sheâll ever be good at. that or sheâs already in sex work. she has no plan. she decides on a whim. if they tried the woo-ing thing, sheâd think they were insane.
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let it be said said, and documented, that she will forever be a sore spot for her. itâs not his fault; nothing he can do about her general distaste for his ex-wife. it isnât like she expected any of this to be easy for anyone involved. she shows up when she feels like it and disappears just as quickly, if luck is on their side. the need to make him miserable always runs her will to live, and maddie isnât sure thereâs anything in this world that will stop her. itâs fine, bobo. no one is blaming you.
itâs not going to work out the way he wants it to, and she can see the outcome a mile away. poor little miss earp is feeling a type of way, and it doesnât matter that they live together. maddie is too tired to deal with her breaking in and bitching about how much he loves her. so, she just wonât do it. not today. she can find a place to be that isnât here. â i think i should go. â she breathes, squinting at willa and her antics. itâs fine. she just doesnât want to put up with her.Â
@glitchedmusesâ; ⎠= generated line of text into whatever this is.
" no. we're lost. and it's your fault, you fucking moron. and it's only my fault for trusting you. " duck, henry. she has knives, and your head looks mighty nice to launch one. " you're right, let's pretend you know exactly where we are. because you know everything. right? dick. " she sits, she knows where to go. she isn't telling him that.
@glitchedmuses:: for henry.
{ lines:: 4 . relationship:: enemies but the love each other. song:: into the thick of it - the backyardigans. }
they've been at this for years; finding comfort in each other when they definitely shouldn't have been. her life is a literal joke at this point. a nightmare of all the gifted kid burnout one could display in one sitting. it isn't healthy, at this point; how co-dependently independent the two of them are. expect, easier said than done, kids. so, she doesn't ignore him when he texts her to come over; never anything more. he's hardly friendly on his best days. and if she's dragging her feet because she knows it's time to stop? well, who is there to tell her off about it. no one. and so she knocks. she knocks because the idea of being without him is worse than considering that he could hurt feelings she genuinely doesn't know how to show. worse than telling him, ' hey, so yeah in the middle of being a quick fuck, i kinda fell in love with you. '
" you realize we can't keep doing this, right? at some point, i can't call you. you can't text me. it has to end. " she murmurs. there's no way she's telling him she wants more from him. he wouldn't give it to her, anyway. would he?
@glitchedmuses
{ lines:: 13 . relationship:: fwb but neither will admit they want more .
song:: nightmare - halsey. }
