#gingy writes

Bradley’s voice tries to lower an octave though does the complete opposite and rises to a high squeak that makes you break out in laughter. Your heart swells at the sight, Bradley would make a wonderful uncle. He was already the best brother you could have asked for and since yesterday on base, he had quite literally had Laine on his hip or playing together at every moment.

Gray was never far away, though he tended to stay at neither Bob, Jake, or Javy’s side. You were so used to Gray being attached to you that seeing him interact so much with the squad was startling. You miss your little shadow, though seeing the way that he looked at Jake now was something that you would love to witness daily. Jake had told you that they just talked about planes, but you could see that it meant so much more to both of them.

The munchkin between your legs moves again, darting from Bradley’s outstretched hand as she giggles in excitement.

“I’m Jakey’s princess,” The reply stumps Bradley momentarily, long enough for her little hands to find your own. “Miss CeCe save me!”

Her hands pat at your tummy in a little rhythm as she bounces lightly on her toes. You gently slide the fruit bowl back and lower down to grab the munchkin before Brad can make another grab for her. Her small form bounces in your hold as she wraps her arms around your neck and nuzzles in.

“Run Miss CeCe!” She eyes you in excitement and you drop your gaze back to Bradley, before giving him a smirk. Your hips swivel as you turn and your arms clutch onto a giggling Laine as you run away.

“Get the fruit bowl, Chicken!”

You hear a playful huff at the name, though you’re past the hallway entryway and heading for the back deck before Bradley has a chance to yell back at you. The dimness in the hall is lit by the shining sun outside and you can see the rest of the squad lounging around in chairs while Javy and Jake bicker about grilling.

You hadn’t planned to have a BBQ, though this morning when Bradley and Nat showed up banging on the door with coolers and dessert you didn’t have any other choice.

No, you really had no other choice.

The pair had pushed through the door before you could even question them and told you that they were only here to see the twins. They then followed that up by saying that everyone was coming by, well everyone but Javy, he had spent the night after having a movie fort/sleepover night and had yet to leave. The pair had ushered you that you didn’t need to worry because Bob and Mickey were making sure to grab all the required fixings from the store so you wouldn’t have to worry.

Though you had instantly started making a fruit bowl with the strawberries, grapes, kiwi, and pineapple that you already had. The twins had helped you wash them and then used small star cookie cutters to cut shapes in the pineapple. Though once everyone had finally arrived the pair had automatically gravitated toward the outside. Bradley had also casually thrown in the fact that your dad, Penny, and Amelia were coming over as well. After your dad had met them, he instantly wanted Penny and Amelia to meet the twins.

You brush a small strand of hair from Madelaine’s face, which causes her to give you a sweet smile and then kiss your cheek. That had started last night when you were putting the twins to bed, even though they ended up in yours again during the night. The two of them were in a late-night Disney movie hazy that left them half asleep, which in turn led them to tell both you and Jake that they loved you. It had made your heart stop. You knew that you should be placing boundaries, but so many were already crossed, and Jake and you both loved them so much already.

 Your hand comes up to shield your eyes as the sun nearly blinds you. You didn’t know how it was 78 degrees at the beginning of December, but you weren’t complaining one bit. Your hold on Laine loosens as her small form wiggles until she’s free of you to run across the deck.

“Pop Pop! Ms. CeCe fought Chicken off.” She squeals in delight as your father catches her and tosses her small form in the air. That was also new, Jake had called your father Pops last night and Laine ran with it from there. Now both Gray and Laine were calling him Pop Pop, and neither your father nor anyone else had even spoken of the possibility of having them stop and having them call him Mav instead.

Your glance leaves the pair as they sit down next to Penny and Amelia, the mother and daughter duo instantly fell in love with the twins. So much so that your little sister had asked if she could babysit them sometime. She had been so happy and excited that you couldn’t tell her that you didn’t know if they would ever be back to the house.

A sigh leaves your chest as you cast your eyes around the deck to look at the group of important people in your life, though you can’t seem to find one of the most important ones. Gray wasn’t anywhere in your line of sight, and while you knew he was somewhere in the yard, that didn’t stop your breath from hitching. A pinch to your back makes you jump, while Bradley laughs and moves passed you with the fruit salad. You bat your hand at him, playfully glaring at him as he passes.

You’re still looking for Gray when you catch Jake’s eyes, he then gives you a small tip of the head out to the lawn and causes you to venture over to look out at the yard. A smile rests on your face as you lean against the railing of the deck to watch Bob, Mickey, Nat, and Gray as they lay on the lawn watching the sky. Gray’s hand shoots up causing your own eyes to shoot to the sky as a jet passes overhead. You only hear pieces of the conversation, something about cloud coverage, altitude, and flight pattern prediction, but it makes you smile all the same. Gray finally had people that would understand and listen to him, instead of brushing him off and not believing a word he said. Because as Janice had so kindly told you during a conference, “Children aren’t that smart, stop feeding into his fantasy.” The woman had riled you up to the point where you skipped over the last half of the packet, already knowing that she wasn’t listening to a thing you said about Grayson, and practically pushed her out the door.

The hands that wined around your waist and grasped onto the railing in front of you, have you relaxing back into the familiar chest. Jake’s chin settles on your shoulder after giving your cheek a small kiss causing the weight of your body to sink further into the comforting hold. You both sigh, and the mutual feeling of peace and fulfillment passes through the two of you.

“They blend in seamlessly.” Jake’s breath heats your neck, and you can’t help but to smile at the comment because it was true. They fit into your little family perfectly, and you were going to soak up every moment you had this weekend.

“I don’t want it to be over.” Jake’s hands wrap around you as you say it, and squeeze you gently. “I don’t know how I’m just going to let them go back there.” Your voice is heavy with pain that neither one of you acknowledge, instead, hoping to remain in this moment.

The tightness in your chest relieves, as neither of you can comment when you hear a whistle ring out that causes everyone to look over at Javy. He stands by the grill, with Laine on his hip as she silently waits for everyone’s attention. Javy smiles down at the small girl as she watches the group of you bouncing from excitement in his hold. Her eyes move from the group and up to Javy as the group quiets down to listen. He gives her a tiny nod that has a smile breaking out on not only her face but yours as well.

“The food is done.” Laine’s voice rings out through the backyard, but before anyone can make their way to the grill Javy whispers something else in her ear to say. “Ummm... Javy said he cooked everything, and Jakey didn’t help and that he’s the best cook.”

The comment causes everyone but Jake to laugh. A dramatic sigh falls from his lips as he steps out from behind you, only taking one step closer to the pair. You giggle as Jake clutches at his heart, eyes wide and never leaving Laine’s, before slipping to his knees beside you.

“You wound me, little darlin’.” His voice is strained and causes the surrounding group to gently smile at him. It didn’t go unnoticed how much Jake loved the twins already, and while they never mentioned the fact to you or Jake, it didn’t stop the squad from talking amongst themselves.

Jake barely has time to catch Laine as she runs into his arms and clutched onto him. She leans into his ear and whispers words that you can’t make out that have the both of them smiling. They must be good if the mega smile not resting on Jake’s face can tell you anything. Jake slowly rises to stand up while the pair laugh together, both of them looking at Javy in a teasing manner.

“You two keeping secrets now?” Your voice is questioning and has Madelaine leaning into you.

“I didn’t wanna hurt Javy’s feelings, Ms. CeCe. Jakey is still the best.” A giggle bubbles from you as she gives you a toothy grin, before you both then look at Javy and you can’t help but laugh even more at his wondering stare.

A weight settles against your leg and causes you to glance down to find Gray, already looking back up at you. His blonde locks house a few pieces of grass that you pick out, while his finger wraps around your belt loop.

“Hi, Sweetpea.” His blue eyes sparkle in the sunlight as a quiet hi is said back to you. “You ready to eat?”

You get back a small nod as he stays attached to your hip, watching the surrounding crowd from the designated safe zone. While Gray had opened up immensely to the group, he still ended up at your side whenever the group became too much. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable, but his social anxiety and depleted self-esteem caused him to doubt his worth, especially around people he didn’t know well.

You hadn’t noticed that Jake put down Laine, though as his hands come around Gray to lift him in the same manner, he had with Laine just moments ago your heart swells. The sound of his laugh echoed through the yard as the group milled around getting food and talking, though your eyes could leave to pair.

A perfect father-son duo. You could have told anyone that the twins were your kids, not just from how they were almost identical copies of Jake. But anyone that saw how they interacted, and the amount of love that passed between them from minuscule actions and words alone.

“Come on you two, before Roos eats everything.” Your voice is teasing as you pull the pair along with you to grill to follow Laine, who already had your dad piling a mountain of food on a plate for her. Your eyes don’t miss the two different pieces of cake and brownie that cover most of the surface of the plate. You shake your head at your father, just now realizing how tightly Laine has him wrapped around her finger.

Your comment finally gained a reaction from Bradley, as a small kid playing ball lands against your back and makes you yelp before turning. You give him a smile that only a little sister can give to her older brother, followed by your tongue peeking out in a taunt.

You would give anything to stay in this moment with this group of people, your family, forever.

...

You finish putting the last dish away from the washer and wipe down the counter as the clock strikes 8:00. Signaling that it was in fact the twin’s bedtime, well the one that you had given them. Neither Janice nor Ed said if they had a nighttime routine, though you were sure that it wasn’t that they forgot to mention it. No, from what you knew, the pair of them didn’t care so long as the twins didn’t disturb them and stayed in their room.

Wiping your hand one last time, you slowly make your way down the hall in search of the three individuals that consumed your every waking thought. You glance at the guest room and the perfectly made bed, knowing that the twins wouldn’t be sleeping in there tonight either. Only to venture future down the hall when you hear the near-silent humming coming from your bedroom. The dimming sun no longer lights your house and the warm glow coming from the lamp in your room just barely reaches your outline as you settle against the door frame.

Jake sits in the middle of the bed wearing a pair of sweats and tee-shirt that he had slipped on earlier when you sent him to take a shower while you did a couple pages of homework with the twins. He then had the duty of wrangling the two of them into the bath and making sure that they didn’t flood the bathroom floor like they had on you last night. You had disappeared at their request for bubbles and when you came back, nearly half of the tub water was on the floor. You had tried so hard to appear cross with them, though, at the sight of the sheepish smiles they gave you, your heart had overflown with love. You weren’t going to stop the pair of them from doing something that wasn’t dangerous, because it made a small mess. You knew that the carefree spirit that encased them wasn’t something that they were normally allowed to do.

From the looks of it though, tonight had defiantly gone in Jake’s favor. Not only from his dry pajamas but the fact that both Madelaine and Grayson had both found their places in bed next to him without a second thought. That they both felt a sense of peace and protection from Jake’s presence.

The three of them were a sight that warmed your heart beyond compare and made you curse yourself for leaving your phone on the kitchen table, missing the picture-perfect moment. In the middle of Jake’s lap, Laine sits as he braids her hair into two little French braids that just reach her shoulders. While Gray lays behind them cuddling your pillow, eyes fluttering open and closed as he tries to stay awake.

“Your sisters would be happy to know you can still braid hair.” Your voice floats through the room; Gray just barely looks at you only to give you a tiny smile, as Laine twists the finished braid around her finger trying to hide the yawn that slips passed her lips.

“I would hope that ten years of braiding their hair for volleyball whenever mom was late for a game, would have stuck with me.” His laugh makes you smile as you watch the pair of them momentarily. Jake had fallen into the dad role easily, and while you both were so happy to have the twin, you worried about how they would handle having to go back to Janice and Ed’s house Monday.

Jake's eyes lift to you while his fingers work seamlessly back and forth, he could always tell when something was on your mind. The snap of the final tiny elastic getting wrapped around the end of the braid, has you looking back up at the flawless braid. Jake’s arms softly wrap around Laine to lay gently squeezes at her waist, as her small hands rub tiredly at her eyes. She leans back in his hold, snuggling up to him as her eyes start to droop like Gray’s.

“I think Roos and Nat tuckered them out with that last game of tag.” You laugh lightly thinking about the sight of Bradley holding each of the twins in an arm, and running away from Nat.

“I’m sure that they’re just as tired, Rooster probably fell asleep on his couch and didn’t even make it to his bed.” You laugh at Jake’s comment because you know for a fact that Bradley fell asleep on the couch from the picture Bob sent you an hour ago.

 Jake glances down at the weight against his chest, Laine turns slightly as she sighs and fully relaxes to cuddle in closer. She holds onto Jake’s black tee shirt with one hand while to other grasps onto her ocean blanket, falling into sleep like it was a warm hug. Jake slowly lifts her, which causes both of her hands to wrap around his neck and his to rub at her back. He whispers soothing sounds as his hand glides up and down her back, helping her relax again. Jake is quick to move her before she can settle in too much though, not wanting to wake the munchkin up from setting her down. He easily turns around with her in his hold and lays her down against his pillow across from Gray.

Her small body lays encased by the surrounding blankets as she snuggles in closer and sighs as Jake tucks the duvet under her chin and kisses her forehead. Jake moves over to tuck in Gray as well as you gently brush the stray baby hairs from Laine’s face and gently kiss her head. Followed by you then tucking and kissing Gray as well, before you sneak into the bathroom to change into your PJs while Jake heads to the living room.

You find Jake laid out on the sofa, hands behind his head with two steaming cups of tea sitting on the coffee table. He gives you a dopy smile that makes your heart beat just a bit faster, before crawling into his open arms. Your legs rest around his waist and your head settles on his chest to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart.

Neither of you moves as you watch the sunset through the massive living room window that faces the Pacific. Jake’s hand slowly slips into your hair and runs his fingers through it gently without even realizing it. Though the small moan of relief causes him to chuckle in realization, before kissing the top of your head and resuming.

“We could do it you know.” His voice is tired and there’s a deep sound of longing intertwined with the words. You hum in question, happy to listen, but far too comfortable to lift your head from his chest and have a conversation.

“The twins; we could apply for adoption.”

His words hang in the air, sure you both had thought and talked about it over and over. Though there was something in Jake’s tone that was different this time. This wasn’t your Jakey that you could tease and easily rial up. No, this was Jacob. The man that got in a fistfight with one of your mother’s ex-boyfriends after he made a backhanded comment about your lack of pregnancy. The man that would protect the people that he loved, even if it meant putting himself in danger. He was serious, so serious that you half wondered if he had already been looking into the adoption process that the state of California had in place.

“Baby –”

“I’m serious darlin’. They are in every single thought I have about our future; I can’t even fathom a life without them anymore.” Jake’s hand slips from your hair and now both of them wrap around you. He clings to you, and you slowly realize that his tense chest and tight hold on you are in fear of your reaction to him wanting to adopt the twins. Your heart aches, you knew how much both of them meant to you. But hearing Jake tell you out loud that he didn’t see a future that didn’t include the twins, officially confirms just how much you both want the twins.

Knowing that is conversation deserved more than just your muffled words against Jake’s chest you slowly sit up, still on Jake’s lap but now able to see each other’s faces. You both could read each other like an open book and though you were positive that Jake was being sincere, you had to see the look in his eyes. You had to be absolutely sure before you let the idea blossom into a reality.

“Adopting them isn’t going to be easy, Jake. Janice and Ed are going to throw a fit because they want to keep getting their monthly check.” Your voice is gentle but firm, “And I hate to even say it, but we have to think about the fact that there are two of them. We planned for one baby, Jake. Can we financially even take on them and give them the life that they deserve?”

Jake's hand moves from your waist to brush against your cheek and causes you to lean farther into him. He knows that your reluctance is only because you’re afraid that you aren’t good enough to be their mom, a mom in general. You didn’t have the breakdowns a lot, but when you did, they were bad. And no matter how much he assured you, you were terrified that the universe wasn’t giving you a child because you weren’t worthy.

Jake’s other hand finds your cheek as well to tilt your head back up. Your chin and eyes had fallen, but Jake needed you to realize that you deserved a child more than anyone.

“Darlin’ we are more than financially stable to take them on. I’m teaching now and missions are rare. I want them to be ours.” Your head nods in his hold but he can feel the cogs in your head turning.

“Honey, look at me.” Your eyes lift and Jake’s heart cracks to see your waterline filled with tears. “You deserve to be a momma more than anyone I know. Maybe things worked out the way they did because some higher power knew that there would be two twin terrors that would need us just as much as we need them.”

A tear falls from your eyes and Jake is quick to brush it away. “You think?” Your voice is small and broken, though you trust Jake more than anyone else and if he said this was the family that both of you deserved and needed, you would believe him.

“I know, darlin’.”

Your face tucks into Jake’s neck and the tiny laugh of joy you give him, makes his arms tighten around as a smile forms on his lips. Your voice is muffled, but Jake hears you perfectly. “We’re gonna make them ours.”

“Just worried about Y/n, gonna go over to the office and check on her.” The words are muttered as Jake’s eyes focus back on his phone.

“Was over there this morning, Cyclone said she called in sick.” Rooster's tone is light, though Jake can’t help but worry. You and Jake had been officially together since November and Jake couldn’t be happier with the fact that you and Mathew were permanent fixtures in his life.

While you still had a hard time letting Jake help you; you were still worried that at any moment Jake may decide that you weren’t the hassle. Which led to you avoiding him when the smallest inconvenience uprooted your life.

Said inconvenience now manifesting through Maty, and possibly you, being sick. With a nod of thanks to Rooster, Jake slips his jacket on before leaving the locker room while dialing his mother’s number.

Jake pulls up to your small house and it almost looks like no one is home, though the single flicking light of the living room tv gives you away. It took Jake longer than he intended, but with his mother's advice, Jake made it to the nearest pharmacy and collected every children’s cough, cold, and fever medicine a four-year-old could have.  As well as, a few different cold medicines for adults and at his mother’s behest a new fuzzy blanket for you, and the new toy story movie for Maty. Jake grabs the shopping bag from the backseat, before trudging up the steps and gently knocking on your door. It takes a moment, but eventually, he can hear you moving around behind the door.

...

You hadn’t planned for anyone to come over tonight, Penny had brought over a soup your mother made during lunch, and more than anything you wanted to crawl into bed for the night. Though a restful night’s sleep was far beyond what you would be getting tonight, and possibly the next couple nights. Mathew had a horrible time with his lungs when he got sick, after getting croup when he was only one, it became a regular occurrence in your life. Though this time felt like it was even worse, the nebulizer was barely helping and every time you got his fever down, a new coughing fit would ensue.

Not only had Maty been sick, but in the past few hours you could slowly start to feel your body drain. It had started out as a slightly sore throat you noticed last night while doing steam rounds in the shower with Maty. Now along with the sore throat, came a chest-wrenching cough and a terrible migraine.

You slowly shuffle to the door, feet clad in a pair of fuzzy socks that Jake had gotten you for Christmas, as well as one of Jake’s hoodies that dwarfed your frame. Your porch light is blinding when you open the door and the sudden rays of light have you wincing.

“Oh, Sweetheart.”

Your eyes find Jake’s and you try your best to give him a smile, though it's near impossible. A small whine from the couch has you turning away from Jake and leaving the door open in a silent request to come inside.

Mathew moves on the couch, as he wraps the blanket tighter around himself, and looks around the room for you. You hated seeing him like this, your baby was usually so independent and happy. But when he was sick, it was like he was a whole different child. His eyes find yours, before flittering behind you to Jake causing the tiniest small to cross his lips.

“Jakey.”

“Hey, Bubba.”

Jake’s voice is quiet and the only other noise in the room comes from the forgotten tv. You turn back around as Jake slips off his shoes, and you hear the sound of a few bags being sat on the floor. You blame the slight delirium of not seeing them on the pounding in your head, but at the sight of them now your heart aches.

“Baby, what are you doing here?” You try to sound happy, though your voice sounds overly tired and the small yawn that falls from your lips makes it even more apparent.

“I hadn’t heard from you today and when Rooster told me you called in sick, I got worried.”

A smile crosses your face and the small thank you that falls from your lips has Jake reaching out and wrapping his arms around you.

“I’m gonna get you sick, Jake.” You shuffle in his arms trying to pull away, though his hold on you tightens as he places a kiss on the crown of your head.

“I don’t care, nothing was going to keep me away from my two favorite people.” You pull back from his hold, and you see nothing but unfiltered love.

The sound of Mathew having a coughing fit pulls your attention from Jake, who is already moving to wrap his arms around your miniature self. Mathew welcomes Jake’s hold and is more than happy to bury his face in Jake’s neck. Jake doesn’t falter while his hand rubs Mathew's back, as Maty cough’s harshly into his shoulder.

The sight of them tugs on your heart and you can’t help the way you snuggle up to Jake causing him to wrap his free arm around you. The three of you stay in the position as Mathew’s cough finally settles and you tug the sleeves of Jake’s hoodie to cover your hands.

“My chest hurts, momma.”

Your eyes open as you pull back from being buried in Jake’s side to find your overly tired and sore four-year-old. Jake’s hand rakes through Mathew’s hair, as his green eyes flutter between you and Jake. Your hand rises to check Mathew's forehead and the small increase in temperature has you looking at the clock to see if you can give him another dose of medicine.

“Baby, momma’s going to get some medicine for your head and then I think we need to do another round in the shower.” The tiniest whine confirms that he heard you and Jake places another kiss on the crown of your head before settling on the couch, rocking Mathew gently from side to side.

The quiet whisper of your voice letting out a small shit, has Jake looking toward the kitchen where you disappeared. Your figure reappears and you can’t stop the tears from forming in your eyes. You were overly tired and didn’t feel good, and now the realization that you had run out of children’s Tylenol has them falling from your waterline.

“Sweets, what’s wrong baby?”

The gentle tone of Jake’s voice causes a shuttered breath as another sob falls from you. He didn’t need to be here, you weren’t his problem, you were a grown woman and yet a small bottle of liquid Tylenol had you in tears.

“I’m out of Tylenol and have to get some, but you shouldn’t be here taking care of us on a Friday night.” Another sob falls from your lips and has Jake rising again after he sits Mathew down on the couch, his blanket draped over his small frame.

Jake’s arms wrap around you and tuck you in, just like he had done to Mathew moments ago.

“Sweets, with you is the only place I ever want to be. You became my number one priority the moment you told me off in Cyclone’s office, while you drowned in paperwork.”

A smile tugs at your lips and you place a small kiss against Jake’s chest.

“Plus, I already went to the store and picked up everything we could need.”

His cocky tone has you pulling away in question, and the smile on his lips makes your stomach flip. Your eyebrow raises in question, though before you can even question him, he answers. “I wasn’t exactly sure what you would need,” his free hand scratches at the back of his neck, and before your eyes, you see a rare sight. Jacob Grant Seresin is blushing in embarrassment. “Well, I called my mom. I didn’t know what to get and figured that she was the best person to ask, plus I didn’t want to get the wrong stuff. She walked me through everything, and I made sure to check the age requirements for Maty. He is safe to take everything I g–”

“Thank you.” Your words cut off his rambling and cause him to lean into the hand you place against his cheek.

...

You sort through the bag of medication and the number of different kinds has a smile crossing your lips. After Jake had given you the bag to sort through, Maty was more than ready to be wrapped back up in his arms and instantly wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck when he picked the small boy up.

You stop in the hallway as you come back from the kitchen and though you’ve seen the pair be loving in main ways, the two of them wrapped in a blanket as Jake whispers in Mathew’s ear may be your favorite sight.

“Hey, sweetpea,” Your voice and hand against Mathew’s back has him stirring, pulling away from Jake’s neck as his eyes droop low. “You gotta take this, my love. Then we can get in the shower, and clear up your chest a little more.”

A small nod is the only reaction you get, before placing the small cup on Mathew’s lips and tipping it back. Your reach out to take him from Jake, though he is quick to grasp onto Jake, intertwining his fingers as he huddles farther into Jake’s chest.

“Baby, we need to get you in the shower.”

His small voice is muffled against Jake’s neck, though you can make out the quiet plea to stay with Jake. Your hand rubs up and down Mathew’s back, as you look back at Jake’s face unsure of what to do. Mathew needed to get in the shower, but you also knew that if he cried, his cough and chest would worsen more than it already was.

“What if we get in the shower together bub, while momma rests for a minute?” Mathew gives a small nod, while still remaining tucked away. Jake sees the questioning look on your face and smiles slightly.

“You’ve still got a pair of my swim trunks tucked away. Right, Sweets?”

It’s like a light bulb goes off in your head, “Yes, from Labor Day weekend!” and has you heading down to your bedroom in search of them. They’re stacked under the pair of sweatpants and tee shirt that Jake left here for when he stayed over.

You turn to head back out to the living room, though instead find Jake and Mathew in his room picking out a pair of swim trunks as well. Mathew is still latched onto Jake’s neck, while he riffles through the blue and white dresser. You don’t hear the conversation the pair is having, though the sight of Maty whispering in Jake’s ear pulls on your heart.

“I found them.”

Your voice causes them to turn, and Jake holds up a pair of swim shorts in a different shade of blue. Jake gives you a smile, before sitting Mathew on his bed and turning to you.

“Bubba, you let momma help you get ready and I’m going to change in her room, but I’ll be right back. Okay?”

A small hum leaves Mathew’s lips and gives Jake enough confidence that the four-year-old isn’t going to have a breakdown from him disappearing. You give Jake a small smile as you trade shorts, though he stops you in the doorway. Your tired eyes lift to meet Jake’s stare as one of his hands settles on your waist and the other comes to rest on your cheek.

“You’re doing an amazing job momma.” The comment has you sighing and your head falling forward to rest on Jake’s chest. You knew that you were a good mom, Mathew was your whole world, but hearing it from someone else filled a gaping hole in your chest. Especially given the fact that it felt like your whole world was crumbling around you. You hated seeing Mathew sick, but the fact that you were sick as well and that you weren’t working at 100% to take care of him, ate away at you.

“I love you.” You whisper the words, before placing a kiss on Jake’s chest.

The hand resting on the back of your head comes around to grasp your face once again, tilting you to look up at him.

“I love you.” Before you can even protest that you’re sick and shouldn’t be kissing, Jake’s mouth descends upon yours. His lips feel like home, and you take the moment to savor the kiss. It wasn’t as if 10 seconds longer would change the fact that Jake was now most likely going to get sick. You pull away from the kiss, though the warning look Jake gives you, has the reprimanding words slipping from your mind, and instead wrap your arms around his waist once again.

“I love you both, so much Sweets.” A second kiss is placed at the crown of your head before Jake slips from your hold to go change.

Mathew gives you a small smile from his bed that has you going over and giving him a hug and kiss. Maty was usually so independent that you rarely got the chance to baby him anymore, though now you miss the spunky boy. You slowly help him remove his jammies, before slipping into his swim trunks and picking him up to go find Jake.

Mathew tucks his face into your neck as you leave his room, and you automatically place a gentle kiss on his head.

“Love you, momma.”

“I love you too, my sweet boy.”

You find Jake leaving your room at the same time you leave Mathew’s, and he is quick to take Maty from your hold. Reminding you that you are in fact sick as well, and don’t need to add to the strain your body is already under from the virus.

With a flick of your wrist, the shower starts, and the small room instantly starts to fill with steam. You flick a few drops of peppermint oil into the shower to help open up Mathew's chest. Turning around you find Jake, with Mathew on the counter, while gently rubbing his back. Mathew’s eyes remain closed as he leans against Jake, only opening slightly when Jake bends down to ask him if he was ready to get in.

They slide the glass door open and step through to sit on the bench seat, though before you can close the door Jake catches your arm and gives it a gentle tug to get your attention.

“I’ve got him now, Sweets. I want you to go lay down, you don’t have to sleep, but your body needs the rest.”

“M’kay.” The word is slightly slurred and, at the moment realize just how tired your body was. You give him a small nod and tell both of them you love them, before sliding the glass door shut and go to leave the bathroom.

You pause at the door and listen to the pair. The water had woken Mathew up and given him a small bout of energy.

“How much do we love momma?”

You can’t see Mathew's reaction though you’re sure it’s one with his arms spread wide open. Jake’s teasing tone, “Hole bunch?!” followed by a tiny giggle confirms it. You go to leave though; the sound of Mathew’s small voice causes you to halt again.

“You love momma, Jakey.” You can tell it’s not a question. “Do you love me too?”

His voice is so raw from coughing, though you can hear a definite tone of unsureness. The room is quiet for a moment, the only sound being the water hitting off the white tile.

“I love you so much, Bubba.”

You hear the crack in Jake’s voice, and you know that he is tearing up silently. Jake wasn’t someone that showed people his emotions, though with you and Mathew, inside these four walls Jake never held anything back. He didn’t need to, not when he knew that you loved him just as much as he loved Mathew and you.

“You will always have me, Maty. No matter what happens, I will always love and protect you.”

You have to step out of the bathroom, before Jake finishes, not wanting to worry either of them by hearing you cry. You didn’t know how you had gotten so lucky with Jake, how he had decided that you were worthy of a love that ran so deep, that it felt like you had known each other for your whole lives. The type of love that proved time and time again, that Jake would always love and protect your baby like he was his own.

The tears gathering on your waterline fall as you lay down on your bed. As you let your body sink father into the comfortable mattress, and sheets that still smelled like Jake.

...

You shift of the bed, has your eyes opening abruptly, and moving to get up. Though Jake’s hand on you causes you to lay back down and shift around to face him. Mathew's small body lies between the two of you, as small snores emit from him, and he curls farther into Jake’s chest.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Thank you for taking care of him.”

Your words are weighted and tired as your eyes flutter to stay open. Jake slides closer to you, settling Mathew farther on his bare chest as the small boy rolls farther into him while grasping his blanket. Jake pulls you toward him as well and you settle on the arm that Mathew lays halfway on. Jake’s other hand comes around to settle on your waist, incasing the both of you in his hold.

“Sweets, don’t you ever thank me for taking care of him.”

You cuddle farther into Jake and slowly fall farther back into the restful slumber. Jake silently lies listening to your even breathing, which evens out to match Maty’s. He shifts gently, pulling the pair of you closer before placing a kiss on the top of each of your heads.

Epiphany ★✓

You Can Call Me Babe For The Weekend ★❊✓

I Don't Need Your Closure ★❊✓

I Never Saw You Coming And I'll Never Be The Same ★

Better Man ★❊

I Don’t Start Shit, But I Can Tell You How It Ends ★❊

Just Come Home ★❊

The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine ★

Autumn Leaves and Pumpkin, Please? ★

Can't Breath Whenever You're Gone ★❊✓

Tis' The Damn Season ★

I Couldn't Ask For Anything Better ★❊✓

Something That Will Haunt Me When You're Not Around ❊

SNAPCHAT SERIES

Part 1

Group chat

Wrong Chat

Brownie Fiasco

Tis’ The Damn Season

Baby Daddy

Maty

OOPS

Instagram

Meet Josephine

Jacob Grant Seresin *que swoon*

Mrs. Floyd

Mr. Floyd

TashaTrace

Your pregnancy with Mathew hadn’t been easy. Your nausea lasting the whole 40 weeks, making it hard for you to maintain a healthy weight. You ended up getting weekly IVs from the hospital and being up on two different nausea medications.

In the first trimester, this time nausea hit you hard and at all times of the day, the bathroom had become a second home, and Jake could barely handle it. Constantly at your side, holding your hair or rubbing your back. Mathew had been ecstatic when he found out, though the now six-and-a-half-year-old, had a hard time seeing you so sick.

Even having a conversation with your belly, telling the baby that they needed to be nice to you.

That was before you found out that you were having a girl, and thankfully the nausea had calmed after your fourteen-week mark, making your days actually enjoyable.

 You’d been able to find out the sex of your baby just before Jake deployed when you were twenty weeks, and you’d both been thankful he could be with you in person to hear.

He’d been overjoyed when you the doctor told you. The smile never left his face on the drive home. Telling you, now that you had one of each, the next one could be a surprise.

You’d smacked him and told him, you wanted to get through this one before even thinking about another. Jake had only given you a teasing smile and kissed your hand, resting it in his lap for the drive home.

That was a month ago now, and all three of you were missing him terribly. Right after you’d found out you were pregnant; Jake had taken to talking to your stomach nightly. You’d told him that the peanut was too small, but he hadn’t cared. Holding nightly conversations with them, ranging from stories about flying, to what had happened during his day.

You’re sure that Little Miss had gotten used to her daddy’s voice, because now without his nightly talks, she has taken to becoming very active during the night. Mathew was having quite the time with Jake being gone as well. The first week he had cried every night and though his tears had slowed, the month had been wearing on the little guy.

Thankfully school kept his mind busy during the day, and Lacey had promised to call if he got upset during the day.  Summer vacation was just around the corner for Maty and though he loved second grade, he was so excited about the year ahead. He was going full-time on base and Auntie Lacey, Bob’s wife, would be his teacher for third grade.

You were thankful for the relationship the two of you had developed over the last 2 years, she’d become one of your closest friends and was always there to help with Mathew.

When she found out that you were expecting and that the boys were getting deployed, she took up a permeant residence in your home. Taking over pick up and drop off completely, saying that your house was on her way to school anyway.

Your house was in fact a good bit out of her way, but you weren’t about to argue with the woman. Bob might have been quiet and shy in public, but his sweet, loving teacher of a wife, was anything but.

Lacey, like her third graders, was an endless ball of energy. She was the most positive person you’d ever met and extremely organized. But when she decided that something was going to happen, then it was happening. Her stubbornness rivaled that of Jakes. A fact that had you cackling, when the two of them bickered.

Placing the laundry away, you head back into the kitchen, looking for something to snack on before you start on dinner. Music streams out of the speaker on the counter, a playlist that you’d made after Jake threw you into the world that is 90’s country, on a trip to Texas. You’d fallen in love with the music, on a night out and always listened to it when Jake was gone.

You hum along to the beat of Brooks and Dunn, swaying your hips along to the music, hand resting on your bump. Little Miss takes to rolling around, clearly enjoying the music.

“You like that one sweetpea?” The song changes and she rolls again. “Your daddy’s gonna be pleased with your taste in music.”

You grab the strawberries out of the fridge, singing along to the music. Your mind wandering, sure that Jake and your little girl would have the exact relationship stated in the song.

“When she was three years old on her daddy's knee, he said you can be anything you want to be. She's a wild one, runnin' free.—”

The ringing of your phone cuts off your singing, Jake’s ringtone cutting through, and has you hurrying to pick it up. He rarely got to call you, the carrier was continuously going in and out of service, making it hard to talk.

You pick up the phone, lowering the volume of the music.

“Baby?”

“Hi, darlin’.” The sound of Jake's voice has you crying, your hormones working against you. The gasp that leaves your lips, alerts Jake of your crying. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Your hand comes up, brushing the tears from your eyes, doing your best to stop them.

“It’s just my hormones Jakey.” You pause, trying to settle the quiver in your voice. “We just miss you.”

A sad laugh falls from your lips, wedging the phone between your shoulder and ear, you move to sit down. Both of your hands rubbing your swollen bump, calming yourself and Little Miss. She’d noticed you crying, when you were slightly gasping for breath, no doubt disturbing her.

“I know sweets, I’ll be home soon.”

You knew that he couldn’t give you a return date, the both of you silently hoping that it would be before your due date. While it was months away, this last month had gone by fast, and though you hadn’t told Jake, you were worried.

“How is everything? How are my babies?” His voice sounds tired, and you wonder how long it’s been since he’d slept properly.

He’d told you before, that sleeping on the carrier calmed him, and being able to do what he loved made the uncomfortable bed worth it. Though something had changed, shortly after Mathew had started calling Jake daddy, deployments started causing Jake more stress than joy.

He'd told you that he missed the both of you. Missed seeing you and Maty every day, but you could tell that there was more behind it. You hadn’t wanted to push him, but you worried and with you pregnant, the worrying had increased ten-fold.

You relay what had been going on in the last couple of days, and Jake silently listens. Humming occasionally, just happy to hear your voice and feel closer to you.

“She’s been moving around a lot more this last week and I’ve blown up like a balloon.” You’d loved that you could carry your angels, but without Jake here to love on you, your self-esteem had plummeted.

“I look like a damn whale Jake.” The topic causes another onset of tears to converge in your waterline. “And I can’t stop crying.”

“Oh baby, no you are so fucking gorgeous.”

“You can’t even see me, Jacob!” You didn’t mean to snap at him, and before you can apologize, Jake is laughing at you.

“Don’t need to see you, to know how gorgeous you look.” Pure love in his voice and has your tears drying up quickly.

“How did I get so lucky with you Mr. Seresin?” His laugh breaks through the phone, loud enough that it echoes in your quiet living room.

“I’m just that good Mrs. Seresin.”

Though you hadn’t tied the knot yet, the title became one used often. The engagement ring resting on your hand catches the afternoon sunlight and a soft smile graces your lips. “I love you.” The hand creasing your belly receives a sudden push and you watch as Little Miss turns, her outline faint through your tank top.

“I love you too darlin’.” You can hear the smile in his voice and decide to put Jake on speaker.  Bringing the phone to your belly, you feel her move towards the sound as Jake tells you about his day.

“Darling, I think that someone is feeling left out of the conversation. I’ve got you resting on the belly and Little Miss is going crazy for her daddy.”

You hear the broken laugh crack through the phone and then you hear a soft sniffle.

“Hi baby girl, daddy misses you and your bubba so much.”

“Oh baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You hadn’t even thought about how telling Jake that the babies missed him, would make him feel. Though he was soft and sweet in front of you, in comparison to how he was with others, it was a rare sight to see Jake cry.

“No sweetheart, I just hate not being there. She’s never gonna be this little again, and Maty is going to third grade. I feel like I’m missing everything.” The shutter that echoes through the phone, has tears welling up in your eyes.

 “I just never realized that it would hurt this much.”

You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your own tears not wanting Jake to feel even worse, and eventually, you both calm down.

Jake talks to your belly; you sit listening and enjoying the sound of his voice. If you close your eyes, it almost feels like he’s back home with you. Though your conversation is cut short, when you hear Bradley over the phone. Muffled voices ring over the phone, grunting and you swear you hear someone yell ouch, before Bradley’s voice yells out your name.

“Hi B, how are you?” You can’t help the laugh that breaks from you when you hear, Bradley telling Jake that he has to share. That he needed to check on his little sister and Jake could get over it. That thought is followed by the sound of a smack and Bradley whining over the phone.

“He’s mean with he’s not with you, Y/n. Control your husband.”

“He’s not my husband yet B.” You’re laughing at their antics, not having laughed this much since they left.

“No, he’s yours Y/n. No givebacks, his receipt clearly states non-returnable.”

The phone once again is dropped, and then you hear a door slammed. You were happy that they had each other, and knowing that they were together lessened your anxiety. They might fight like siblings, but they’d developed an unbreakable bond over the years.

It’s Jake's voice that comes across the phone once again, “I’ve gotta go, baby.”

The both of you are quiet for a moment longer, the lightheartedness of Bradley showing up suddenly gone.

“I don’t know when I’ll get to call you again sweetheart.”

Your heart slightly cracks, and the reality of your current situation sets in. Jake was in the middle of the ocean and not just for drills, but for an actual mission that could end horribly.

“I know.” You hate the way your voice cracks, hate that you are inevitably making Jake feel worse.

“Given Mathew a kiss for me Sweets.”

You hum quietly, too afraid to speak knowing that your voice would break. You’re both waiting, making the call last as long as possible, but Jake eventually breaks the peaceful silence.

“I love you, Sweets.”

“I love you too, Jacob.” The tears from your waterline fall, and you don’t bother to stop the sniffle that leaves you.

“You’ve gotta hang up baby, or we’ll never get off.”

Your heads nodding, even though Jake can’t see it, hating that he always made you hang up. It’d become a thing when you’d first became friends and now it was natural.

“You come home to us Jacob Grant Seresin.”

Your finger hits the end button before Jake has the chance to reply. Slowly bringing the phone down to sit in your lap, you can’t stop the tears as they stream down your face. It was never easy being away from Jake, but right now, at this moment you couldn’t remember a time when your heart hurt worse.

Sobs rack through your body, your hands faintly shaking as you lay down on the couch. Clutching the decorative pillow to your chest with one hand, your other rubs comforting circles onto your swollen belly.

…

You hadn’t realized you’d fell asleep until you hear the front door opening. Your eyes aching, the tears you’d shed emotionally draining you, and you wanted nothing more than to go to sleep for the night. Though the padding sound of small feet, has you rubbing your eyes trying to hide how much you’d been crying.

“Mommy!”

Mathew rushes towards you, a smile on his face as he goes straight to your belly. Lacey’s figure follows behind him, and you give her a warm smile.

“How was school?” You ask the both of them, though Maty is too busy talking quietly to your stomach. Rubbing in the place where his sister had just kicked, and places a soft kiss on the spot, before continuing to tell her about his day.

“It was good, happy that it’s the weekend though. Plus, Bobby called me at lunch, so thank was nice.” The smile that graces her face as she mentions Robert, has you smiling at the girl. The sight of her quietly spinning the wedding band on her finger, makes you feel not so lonely.

“Jake called today too.”

The mention of his name has Mathew’s attention instantly, no longer interested in telling Little Miss about his day.

“Daddy called?”

His voice is so hopeful, and you feel horrible that he wasn’t home, causing him to miss the chance to talk to Jake. They had only been able to talk once while Jake had been gone, and you could tell that it upset the both of them. Their schedule never seemed to match up, or the boat was just out of service. The one call had been a happy coincidence, having kept Mathew home from school after being up all night.

Which had been a problem in itself.

Mathew’s nightmares had slowed down massively since you’d gotten together with Jake, he’d filled a void that Mathew had, and now with him gone, it was like the void had reappeared.

You’d given up the idea of Mathew sleeping in his room, after the first week and brought him into bed with you. The both of you slept better having the other close, and the nightmares had slowed, though not gone away.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” A sad smile graces your face when you see how Mathew’s face drops. “Daddy said to tell you that he loves you so much though, and that he will be home soon.”

Mathew's faces drops, tucking himself into your belly and gives you a soft nod. Your hand combs through his hair, comforting him as much as possible. The tears that you feel wetting your shirt, have you pulling him up into your lap.

You see Lacey give you a sad smile, as she points to the door and tells you to call her later. Your mouth a thank you, while rocking Mathew back and forth. His tears eventually slow and turn into hiccupping sounds. He pulls away from your chest, a tear-stained face and you almost start crying again.

You give him a reassuring smile, hand brushing through his hair, and plant a kiss on his forehead.

“Daddy will be home soon, I promise buddy.”

“He’s saving people, right momma?”

“Yeah baby.”

This time it’s you that’s pulling him into your chest, doing your best not to cry in front of him. Tucking your head down to rest on top of his head, rocking the both of you to stop the tears.

The three of you had went to bed early that night, watching Toy Story in bed, and having family cuddles. You wrapped in one of Jake’s shirts and boxers, while Mathew clung to the blue plane blanket from Jake. His steady breathing calms you and lulls you into your own deep sleep.

…

One Month Later

You had officially reached 7 months and Mathew was starting his first week of summer vacation. May had flown by and you couldn’t believe that summer had finally started. Though California was warm year-round, the rising heat had been hell. You couldn’t seem to get cool, and your swollen stomach was always adorned in a sun dress.

Jake was still deployed, though Penny had mentioned that there was a possibility that they were coming home soon. Apparently, Mav had slipped up while talking to her, and she couldn’t keep it from you. She’d sworn you to secretly, meaning you couldn’t tell Lacey or Mathew, though you wouldn’t want to tell Mathew just yet. You were careful what you mentioned about the deployment to Maty, he and Jake were able to talk a few times within the last month, but he was still sensitive to the topic of Jake coming home.

You had your 7-month checkup today and Lacey was going to be picking the pair of you up, to take you. Walking from your shared bedroom, you call out from Mathew, wanting to make sure that he was at least somewhat matching.

He’d taken to picking out his clothes, stating that he was a big boy now and in charge of taking care of the house. A thought Jake had put into his head during their last conversation. Now that he was a big boy, that meant he could pick out his own clothes.

Peaking into his bedroom, you see him pulling a navy shirt over his head, happily surprised that the shirt parried well with his khaki shorts.

“You ready bubba? Auntie Lacey will be here soon.”

The turn of his little body towards you, has a look of concern painting your face as you see the pout marring Mathew's own.

“I can’t find my glasses momma, the ones like daddy’s.” His tone was clearly distressed and missing the sunglasses that matched Jake's own pair.

“Did you look on the counter sweetheart, I saw them there last night.”

A small shake of the head is all he replies before his legs are carrying him to the kitchen. Following behind him, much slower, you hear an “aha!” ring out that causes you to laugh. Coming to rest behind him, you gently kiss his head, when a knock sounds from your door. You hear the door open, and Lacey’s voice sounds out.

“Hellooooo, anybody home.”

“In the kitchen Lace.” Her figure rounds the corner of the kitchen and Mathew is hugging her instantly.

“How is my favorite nephew?”

A giggle erupts from Mathew’s chest and Lacey gives him a tight squeeze. “I’m your only nephew Auntie.”

She gives him a glance, acting as though she’s offended. “That may be so Mr. Mathew, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be my favorite as well.” 

Her hands drift to his waist, picking him up and then promptly tickling him. The both of them giggling, as you watch on with a fond smile. Lacey’s presence in your life, especially in the last two months, was a true gift and one that you could never truly repay. Though you knew that when she got pregnant, you would be at her side, just like she was for you.

Reaching for your purse, you check the time and see that its 12:20 and your appointment starts at 1 on the dot.

“Come on you two, we’ve got an appointment to get to.”

Lacey ushers you in front of her, still carrying Mathew out to her car, and buckling him into the booster seat that she’d bought for him.

“We get to go see sissy today, right momma.”

Looking back at Maty, the biggest smile rests on his face. You’d told him at the being of the week, you’d had an ultrasound and that he could come into the appointment and see his sister with you.

“Yes, sweetie.” You give him a smile, before buckling up, as Lacey pulls from your driveway.

The car ride is short and filled with music, enjoying the breeze of the day. The drive to the clinic doesn’t take long and before you know it, you’re making your way in, ten minutes before your appointment.

Going to the front desk you give them your name, while Mathew holds your hand silently observing. The buzzing of Lacey’s phone has her apologizing before she heads outside to answer the call. You think nothing of her excusing herself, thinking that she’s only left in consideration of the other patients.

Your name is called and though Lacey isn’t back inside yet, you and Mathew head back with the nurse. She takes your vitals and asks you to lay on the table, handing you a blanket to rest over your lap. You mention that Lacey had to step outside, and the nurse tells you that she will bring her back when she comes back into the office. She gives you and Mathew a smile before she leaves the room.

Doctor Jones is punctual as always and greets the both of you happily, asking you to raise your dress so that she can start. The ultrasound goes well, Doctor Jones answered each question that Mathew had and stated Little Miss is doing wonderful.

“She’s measuring just ahead of schedule, looking to be about 30 weeks, so 2 weeks ahead. We will keep an eye on it, but as of today, I think we can expect her around mid-August.” Her eyes leave yours to look back at Mathew, “Just before school starts buddy!”

His eyes light up in excitement, “Time for daddy to be home too!”

Doctor Jones looks back to you, both of your smiles faltering slightly.

“Yes, baby. Daddy’s got lots of time to get home.”

The doctor goes over a few things to watch out for, before sending you on your way. The sonogram image of Little Miss clutched in Mathew's hands excited to show Lacey. The nurse leads you back out into the main office, and Lacey is sitting waiting for the both of you. Her smile is massive and more than excited to see the image Mathew holds up in front of her face.

Your hand rests on your belly, and a few sharp kicks have you sucking in a breath, ready to get in the car to sit down for a bit.

“Are we ready to head out?” Lacey is rising to meet you, holding Maty’s hand to walk across the parking lot and the other resting on the small of your back. You give her a gracious smile, muttering a small yes.

The drive home is quick, your body is already tired from the day, and the small nap you had taken while driving is suddenly interrupted.

“Daddy!”

Your eyes shoot open, and there in your front yard are Jake and Robert waiting. Mathew is flying out of the car as soon as Lacey is parked, and you can’t stop the tears from falling as you look over at Lacey speechless.

“Did you know?”

“You think I would have left that appointment, if the phone call hadn’t been important.” The teasing smile she gives you, has you laughing through the tears. Giving her a hand a squeeze, a silent thank you, before opening the car door. The door stops before you can get it fully open, your eyes meeting a pair of black boots.

Following the uniform up, your eyes finally settle on Jake.

Your Jake, with Mathew resting on his hip. The onset of tears is never ending, as sobs uncontrollably fall from your lips.

Jake falls to his knees, setting Mathew on the ground and telling him to go see Uncle Bob, his hands reach out brushing the tears from your cheeks.

“Hi Sweets.”

Your figure moves for him, arms wrapping around his neck as you sob into his chest. He mutters sweet nothings into your hair, brushing his hand up and down your spine. The other one falls to rest on your belly.

“Your home? You’re really here?” Your voice sounds so small and Jake's heart sightly aches at your question.

“I’m home baby. Not leaving you again Sweets.” 

You miss the promise in his voice, only hearing his confirmation that he was here, with you and your babies finally. Your tear-stained face pulls back from Jake's chest and your hands are pulling his face down to yours instantly.

Lips meeting, slotting perfectly together after 8 long weeks apart. The tears coating your cheeks are no longer yours alone, pulling back you see tears lining Jake’s eyes. The smile he gives you, has you tugging him back down to your lips. His lips separate from your own lips; to your cheeks and jawline, peppering your face with kisses. Then moves down to your swollen bump and places a gentle kiss upon it as well.

You look up and see Lacey’s tear-stained face, Robert cradling her in his arms. The both of them enjoying the moment, as a small body comes tumbling back into Jake. His face moves from your bump, and he grabs Mathew tickling him, laughter falling from all three of your lips.

“Daddy, we saw sissy today!”

The photo Mathew still hadn’t let go is shoved at Jake, a large smile breaking onto his face as he grasps the sonogram. His hand moves to brush through Maty’s hair, bringing the little boy back into his chest, as he stares at the picture. His eyes move from the image, to your bump, and back to the image.

Jake brushes a kiss against Mathew’s head, then goes to stand up. His hand reaching out for you.

“Coming on darlin’, let’s get you three inside.”

His arms wrap around your waist and for a moment you fear that this is all a dream, that soon you’ll wake up in Lacey’s car, utterly alone.

You feel the hand on your waist give you a squeeze, your eyes meeting Jake's. Your foreheads rest against each other before a quick kiss is exchanged and you’re heading into the house.

Robert and Lacey stayed for dinner that night, the five of you deciding to order in pizza instead of trying to cook. You and Lacey worked in tandem cleaning up the kitchen, as the guys took Mathew out back to play.

He’d been so patient during dinner, eating a slice of pizza, then begged Jake and Robert to play. The guys had informed you that Mav and Penny were having a BBQ tomorrow night, celebrating a successful mission and that everyone was required to come.

You called Penny just after dinner, asking what she needed you to bring tomorrow, though she adamantly said you weren’t supposed to bring anything. After going back and forth, your sister eventually caved and told you to let Mathew pick out a dessert from the store. You complied and let Jake know that the three of you would need to stop by the store tomorrow, before going over.

Jake had walked Bob and Lacey to the door, telling them thanks for coming over, as well as thanking Lacey profusely for helping you while he was gone. The woman just patted him on the back, with a shrug of her shoulders, and stated that’s what family does. Giving her a nod, and then a wave to them both, he headed back in to find you leaning over the kitchen counter.

Sneaking up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist to settle just under your bump. With a lift of his hands, a moan left your lips, and you were settling back into his body. Your head leaned back, resting on his shoulders as the tension in your lower back dissipated.

“So good.”

A hum leaves his lips in acknowledgment of you before his lips meet the side of your neck. He traces a line of hot open mouth kisses along your neck, landing on the spot between your collarbone and neck. Sucking softly, on a mission to mark you after months away.

The haze in your mind is overwhelming as you push back against Jake, the feeling of his hardened length pressing into your lower back. You’d missed him so much and now with his hands on you, you felt like you could combust.

“Jake, what about Mathew?” You didn’t want him to stop, but you’d rather get Maty to bed before he saw just how his sissy was made.

Jake places one final kiss on your neck, before gently lowering your bump again, the weight of it settling in your back.

“I’ll go put him to bed, missed our nighttime routine, and you go get ready for bed.” You give him a questioning glance, one eyebrow-raising.

“Bed?” Your tone is slightly whiny and causes Jake to laugh. Turning your body to face him, he gives you a final kiss that has your toes curling.

“Bed darlin’,” His hand creeping up the inside of your thigh, underneath the sun dress, fingers grazing your clothed cunt. “You’ve got a long night ahead of you Sweets.” His fingers tease you, slip under your panties to run along your slit. Your legs tremble, hand clinging to his wrist, afraid that he’s going to pull away.

Jake smirks at you, so wound-up for him and he’d just barely touched you. The swirl of his finger on your clit has your head dropping back. He loved that you were always so needy for him, but you’d become exceptionally horny while pregnant. The pressure of his fingers leaves your clit, and a whine falls from your chest. Though the sound abruptly turns into a moan, when he sinks the digits into your heat.

“Jakey, —”

“I know baby. Such a good girl, fucking yourself on my fingers.”

His tone is condescending as he watches you push down into his hand. Though before you get anywhere, his fingers are gone and your eyes snap open. Watching as Jake licks your slick from the two fingers, pulling you in for a kiss that has you moaning. The tangy taste coating your tongue and making your arousal even more evident between your thighs.

The tap on your ass, has you pulling away. Your eyes blown out and filled with pure need, as you look at Jake.

Your life outside of Top Gun, well just outside of the office, was great as well. Bradley had introduced you to some of the other pilots, who welcomed you into the small group with open arms. You had even created a pretty strong bond with one of Bradley least favorite people, Lt. Jake “Hangman” Seresin.

Bradley had a talk with each of you when he learned that you had been hanging out in the beginning. Bradley had made the point that he didn’t fully trust Jake, and thought that it would be better if you avoided him. He was convinced that Jake was going to hurt you, even more than you already were.

You had told Bradley that you were in fact a big girl, who could take care of herself and that you didn’t think Jake was like that. You also promised Bradley, that as of right now, you had no intention of getting in a relationship, and that Jake was just a good friend.

That was 3 months ago and though Bradley had let up a little bit, he was still holding strong on his big brother position. Ready to defend and protect you at all costs. It was honestly hilarious how serious he took it. Though you were extremely thankful in knowing that he would always be there if you needed him.

You knew that the group usually got together at the Hard Deck for drinks every Friday and you, luckily, were going to be able to go as well. Your parents had offered to watch Mathew over the weekend, claiming that they hadn’t seen him in forever.

They had just seen him on the prior weekend, when you all got together for Amelia’s birthday, but who were you to deny them of the little munchkin. Mathew was already 2 and a half, quickly changing from your baby into a little boy, and they wanted to get as much love in before he got too active for them to handle.

You hadn’t told Bradley or Jake that you would be coming out, just in case plans changed, and you didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Pulling up to your parents’ house you went to get a sleeping Mathew from his car seat, the drive wasn’t long from base only 30 minutes, but he was due for a nap, and he’d been teething morals. Meaning he hadn’t been sleeping well and was grumpy all the time, the extra sleep time was greatly welcomed.

Situating Mathew on your hip, you grab his bag from the passenger seat, and he wakes slightly. He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck and falls back to sleep, just as your mother comes out to meet you.

“Hello sweetheart, let me take that for you.” She takes Mathew’s bag and goes to give him a kiss on the head. “Has he been asleep long? Your father is just in the kitchen, he’s so excited to have him all weekend. Got’s all sorts of plans.” She gives you a teasing smile, poking fun at your father.

“He fell asleep on the drive and daddy just loves his grandbabies. Don’t make fun of the poor man, he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he’s retired.”

When your father found you were moving back, he decided that needed to retire. Claiming that he needed to be able to help you with Mathew. He most defiantly didn’t expect all the open time he had, which led to him doing all sorts of home improvement projects. The newest being, the sandpit and playset in the back yard.

He claimed that the kids needed it. Though Amelia was ten now, and claimed it was for babies. While Mathew was still too small to play on anything, fully by himself.

You were thankful that your parents were so involved in Mathew’s life and wouldn’t complain at their antics.

“Honey, Y/n is here, and you need to turn down the TV. Maty is sleeping and I don’t want that football game waking him, it’s a rerun anyway.”

Rounding the corner, you see your dad; he had been making lunch, though when he sees you, he quickly comes over to take Maty out of your hands. He gives you a quick kiss on the head and goes to lay Mathew down in the play pen that they kept.

“Thank you so much for watching him, Mom. It really means the world and if you need anything just call.”

She gives you a nod, while putting the bag away and unpacking the frozen snacks you had brought.

“Sweetie, you seem to forget we raised you and Penny, both troublemakers.” Your dad lets out a chuckle and starts on lunch again.

“Me and your mom have everything that Maty could need, I even got teething gel today. Now you get out of here, you’re making me miss the game.”

You go around the counter and give each of them a hug and tell them thank you once again. Muttering that they could call you if they need anything and you would be right over. They roll their eyes, telling you that they know, but they had everything under control.

Heading out the front door, leaving them be, you yell out an ‘I love you’ and you officially had a whole weekend off.

No job and no kids.

You were more than ready for a drink.

You went back to your house to do a bit of cleaning and get changed before you headed to the Hard Deck for the night. You decided on wearing your favorite red sun dress and sandals, you couldn’t remember the last time that you had dressed up and gone out. The light makeup that you added to your everyday work makeup, complimented your eyes, and enhanced the color. You had finished off your hair, happy to take it out of the low bun that were required to wear at work.

You got to the Hard Deck around 7, and the bar was already packed. The crowd of patrons all happy that it was the weekend, and ready to start it off with a bang. Eighties rock music could be heard playing over the jut box, causing a since of nostalgia to spread through you. Your father had played eighties rock throughout yours and Penny’s lives, so it was no surprise that Penny had some cataloged in the player.

You see Penny standing at the bar, chatting to Mav, and when she sees you a massive smile spreads across her face. She waves you over, already starting on your drink.

“What have you made for me this time, Pen?”

When Penny had bought the hard deck, it was just after your 21st birthday and you’d made a game out of her surprising you with a new drink every time you came in. She’d known that you weren’t fond of beer and had taken to learning different drinks made from hard alcohol.

You say your hellos to Mav, giving him a hug and ask him about his day. He reply’s by lifting his beer, and that’s more than enough to tell you that it had been a long day.

“I know how much you love your tea, so I went with a Lemon Bourbon Sweet Tea.” She slides the drink to you, patiently waiting for your approval.

“Why don’t you every make me any special drinks?” Mav questions Penny, earning him a smack on the arm.

“Because you only drink beer or whiskey, so don’t you even start whining.”  

Looking at the duo, you’d never understood why they weren’t officially together. The both of them had plenty of reasons that they would give you, but each of them was insignificant, when anyone could clearly see that they were in love with each other.

After taking a sip of your drink, you sing your sister praise, claiming that she was the best big sister. The warmth of the bourbon fills you and you can already feel the tension of the week leave your body.

“Is everyone here yet?” you ask, while leaning up against the bar. It was so packed that you hadn’t even tried to find your group of friends in the mass. The thought of trying to find them, without any help, in the wave of khaki uniforms sounded less than appeasing and you weren’t about to try.

“Yeah, they got here a bit ago. They’re all over at the pool tables, though I’m surprised Rooster or Hangman haven’t seen you and dragged you over yet.” Mav tells you as he takes a sip of his beer.

You look around the room once again, still not seeing them. Catchting your gaze, Penny motions to the far back corner. Rising up on your chair to see over the crowd, you see the back of Jakes perfectly styled hair. He’s lent over the pool table lining up a shot, and you can’t help but let your eyes wander. You loved when he wore his uniform, it fit him perfectly and stirred all kinds of emotions deep in your core.

On the side of him you see Bradley holding a pool que, and his mouth moving. You had no doubt that he was talking shit to Jake, trying to rile him up, though Jake seemed unfazed. You see the que slide back in his hand, then forward sending the black eight ball into the top left corner.

“I didn’t tell them that I was coming in, I had to make sure Mom and Dad could watch Maty.” You climb down from your chair, spinning back around to Penny and Mav. Taking a large sip of your drink, the bourbon burns as it goes down. The heat warming your chest and making you lighter. You’d need a few drinks if you were going to see Jake bent over the pool table all night.

Your relationship together had grown fast and strong, and the small crush you’d started to develop only continued to grow.

At first you didn’t know what to do with the blooming feeling in your chest, by now you had just learned to ignore it. Jake was a great friend, and you would never want to risk it.

He’d also never showed any interest in you, at least none that you had noticed.

You had yet to realize it, but Lt. Jake Seresin was completely enamored by you.

As the eight-ball landed in the pocked with a clack, against the other ball, he rose up hand out for his winnings.

“Pay up Rooster.” The cocky smirk, that seemed permanently etched on his face, lifted just a bit more with the win.

Rooster smacks a fifty into the palm of Jakes hand, muttering that he needed to use the bathroom and left the group. As Jake turns back around going to reach for his beer, out of the corner of his eye he sees you. Turning to take in your full frame as you walk through the crowd to him, his smirk turns into a full-blown smile. He’d never seen you all dolled up, and though he thought you looked beautiful in whatever you wore, you in sun dresses were now his favorite.

The red fabric fit you perfectly, tight around the chest, then flowing down to the middle of your thighs. His chest clenched as he sees your red lips, break into a smile and how you quicken your pace through the crowd.

Setting his beer down, he didn’t pay any attention to Payback saying that he had next game, and moved to meet you. He held out his arms reaching out for you and grabbed your left hand. Having you do a twirl for him, he’d never seen an angel on Earth, but by God you looked like one.

“My God. Darlin’ look at you.” You blush at the tone of his voice and give him a hug, while hiding your face in his chest.

Whispering down into your ear, you feel his warm breath upon you, and you can’t stop the shudder that goes through your body. “I’m mean it sweets, you look beautiful.”

Leaning up you give him a kiss on the cheek and mutter a soft thank you. It’s crazy to think that Jake had only been in your life for 4 months, it felt like you had known each other forever.

The way that your body easily relaxed around him, unsettled you at first, you had tried to put up walls, but it was no use. It was like Jake was the missing puzzle peace in your life, the friend that you had always wanted. Even if it could never be more, what you had with Jake was something precious. It slightly confused you, and yet it made you whole again.

“You sure know how to make a girl blush.” You go to walk to the rest of the group, in hopes of cooling down your burning core. Though before you can go far, Jake is pulling you back into his arms. He pulls you so that your back is resting against your chest, while he hugs you from behind.

“Need you to myself for a bit sweets, missed you.”

The both of you enjoying the comfort of each other, and you fall deeper into his chest.

As he starts to sway you both to the slow country song that had switched over on the player, he brushes a kiss to the top of your head. His soft voice drifts to your ears, as he quietly sings the old George Strait song.

He whispered it to you like a secret, only meant for you and you alone.

You’d loved how he was always soft with you, unlike how he was with his other friends. You felt blessed to know you were one of the few people that got the pleasure of not only seeing Hangman, but also Jake Seresin. The friendship that you’d developed was one of a kind, Jake made a point of proving that to you any chance he could. Which in no way helped your growing feelings.

The both of you don’t notice Rooster come back from the bathrooms, happily in your own world, in each other’s arms. Though Rooster is quick to notice Hangman disappearance, and when he asks everyone, Phoenix points one finger over in your direction. The smile that once graced Roosters face, drops as he sees the both of you and he can’t stop the way he rolls his eyes.

The group was used to seeing you and Jake hug, even during work hours, if you saw each other a hug would occur. It was like the two of you didn’t know how to not be touching one another. The whole group had known from the first time that they saw Jake with you, that he was in love with you. Though no one ever mentioned it, worried about how, not only you and Jake would react, but also how Rooster would react. He already had a hard time with your friendship and no one in the Dagger Squadron wanted to raise tensions between Hangman and Rooster.

They were also used to Rooster doing anything to pull you off each other, when asked why it bothered him so much. He had simply said that he didn’t feel like seeing his favorite person, hug his least favorite person.

The group snickered at Rooster, though it was Bob that made the jab at him.

“You better go do your job and get them off each other. Wouldn’t want Y/n to start liking Jake more than she likes you.”

The whole group breaks out in laugher, as Rooster gives Bob a horrified face, then hurries over to your side. You missed the whole interaction, and only noticed Bradley when he grabs your arm.

“Okay, that’s enough you two. Hangman get off her.” You go to protest Bradley, but he shushes you.

Jake lets you slip from his arms, giving your hand a tight squeeze and wink before looking at Rooster. “She might be your best friend Bradshaw, but she’s my girl.”

Rooster lets out a huff as Jake gives you another kiss on the cheek, letting you know that he needed another beer. He asked if you wanted another, to which you gratefully nodded, leaving you with Rooster.

“B, please be nice. He’s just a friend, and he means a lot to me.” You give Bradley your best puppy dog eyes, knowing that he could never resist them.

“You two sure act like more than just friends.” The statement makes you laugh, because of course Bradley would notice that you liked one of his friends.

“He doesn’t like me like that B, and it’s okay.” Your smile slightly falters, but you’re quick to fix it. “I’ll take him in any form I can get, I just don’t want to lose him.”

Bradley goes to protest you, to tell you that Jake most defiantly does have feelings for you.

“Please B, leave it alone.” You don’t notice the look of confusion that Bradley gives you, when you look back to the bar and find Jake already looking at you. “I can’t lose him; I don’t think that I could take it.”

You look back to Bradley and he sees the way that your eyes have tears lining them, pulling you into a hug. He couldn’t understand how you didn’t see how special you were and how much Hangman loved you.

He knew that your ex played a major part in your self-esteem. Bradley also knew that if he ever saw Adam again, he would kill him, without a second though. Bradley had flown out to Florida to help you pack, he’d seen the bruises and how you’d jumped at every little noise. You didn’t have to tell him, for him to know that you’d been through hell.

To see you opening up to Hangman scared him, because he knew that you’d been hurt in unspeakable ways. But Bradley knew one thing for sure, he knew that Jake loved you and would never hurt you like that.

So, he held you, hugging you tightly and muttered an okay. His voice cracked as he said it, though you couldn’t hear it over the noise of the bar, he brushed a kiss on the top of your head. Before leaving you, making sure that you didn’t see the tears now gathering in his eyes, you were his little sister and he just wanted to protect you.

Jake makes his way back to you in record time, handing you another bourbon tea, while he now was sipping a whiskey neat. His free hand comes to rest on the small of your back, as you both head over to the group.

Everyone is happy to see that you could come out, and tell you how much you deserve the night of relaxation. Jake goes to sit on a stool, his hand never leaving you as he pulls you to rest between his legs. He’s content to hear to laugh and talk with his fellow pilots, hanging on to every word that you have to say and your ability to talk just as much shit as he can.

A smile grows on his face as he hears you tell Coyote, exactly why he had been messing up on the drill today. You crafted each of their flight drills, so you knew how to perfect them to a T.

“I watched the tape before leaving today. You’re popping up too soon, which is causing you to undershoot it.”

Everyone gives you shocked looks, completely stunned because that is what Maverick had been telling them since they finished for the day.

“If you’re so knowledgeable about F-18’s, why the hell aren’t you flying. We could use another woman, to cancel out all the testosterone.” Phoenix questions you.

You fall back a little farther into Jake, contemplating how to answer. Few people knew about Mathew, out of this group it was Jake, Robert, and Bradley, not because you were ashamed. You were just a private person, Jake and Bradley of course knew because of how close you were. While Robert only found out accidentally, when he was dropping back a Tupperware dish of yours that Bradley had forgot on base, after bringing everyone brownies you had made.

Jake feels you tense up, gently rubbing your arms and kissing you directly in the middle of your shoulder blades.

“I was supposed to, I grew up around jets and have always loved them. Umm— when I got pregnant though, those dream had to change.” You feel Jake give you a squeeze, relaxing in his arms now that everyone knew, their silence deafening.  

It’s Robert that breaks the silence, “I was meaning to ask where little man was to night, just didn’t want to bring it up before.” He adds the end on rather shyly and you give him a look of understanding.

“My mom and dad are actually watching him for me.” The excitement in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Turning to Jake, wrapping your arms around his neck and his around your waist. “For the whole weekend.”

His eyebrows raise and a smirk graces his face, “So does that mean….” He’s giving you a look, that in combination with his open-ended statement, has the whole groups minds in the gutter.

“That we get to have a Saturday movie night… Yes, yes it does.”

Jakes fist pump, makes you laugh, loving the way that he gets excited to spend time with you.

“That means no Disney sweets, not even the live action ones.”

You put on your best whiny voice, “But I wanted to watch the live action Beauty and the Beast. Please, Jakey?”

You watch in real time as he instantly caves in, though before he can mutter a fine. You’re giggling, “I was just kidding, but happy to know I still got you wrapped around my finger.”

The comment stirs something in Jake’s core, though before he does something stupid, like kiss you, he resigns to tickling you.

Finally breaking out of his hold, you tell the group that you need to use the restroom and will be back in a bit. You make your way through the crowd with the biggest smile on your face, you had needed this night and were so thankful for the group of friends that were spending it with you.

You quickly finish using the bathroom, wash your hands and make your way back to the pool tables. As you get closer you see Jake, though he’s not alone. A beautiful blonde stands close to him, twirling her hair. Her intentions for Jake are clear to see, and you can’t help it when your heart breaks a little. They looked great together, both tens, and you were just the friend. You don’t want your reaction to ruin anyone’s night, so you put a smile on your face and keep walking. As you get closer, you see Jake say something to the girl and her face instantly falls. You make your way back into the group as she is leaving. Catching the daggers she shoots at you as she leaves.

Confused by her reaction you walk back over to Jake, resting once again between his open legs.

“What was that, looked like she wanted to kill me?”

“Nah, she’s just mad at me darlin’. Told her I wasn’t looking for a fuck.” You heart sinks a little, wondering why he would ever turn her down.

“I don’t mind Jake.” You look down toward your feet, wishing that you could be smaller. “I don’t want to ruin your night, plus she was beautiful. The perfect girl for you.”

Jake feels you start to shrink into yourself, and quickly lifts your chin with his thumb and forefinger.

“You’re my girl sweets. Could never want anyone else.” His tone deadly serious, and the look in his eyes feel like it might set you a flame.

For a minute you think that you might kiss, his breath mixes with your own. Your lips only inch’s a part, if you were to lift your head just a little, your lips would be slotted against each other’s. Burning red heat pools in your core, his eyes holding just as much heat, burning you in every way. Your surroundings fade away, the two of you consume one another wholly. That line in the sand between you and him, is nonexistent and in its place,

White Fire; pushing you closer and closer to the breaking point.

But if the heat pulsing between the two of you, and the yearning, meant you would get burnt…

Then you’d burn at the stake for him.

Before anything happens, Jake sucks in a sharp breath and pulls away from you. You take a step back, shaking yourself out of the haze. Your mind already criticizing you. How stupid could you be, to think Jake would want to kiss you.

Jake is shaking, he was so fucking close to kissing you. He’d only just snapped out of it, Roosters voice ringing out in his head. After that first time he’d met you, Rooster had cornered him and threatened to kick Jakes ass if he made a move.

He didn’t stop trying to talk to you and after he’d formed an actual friendship with you, Rooster cornered him yet again. Though this time, he’d seen how serious Jake was about you. So instead of threating him only, Rooster threatened him, as well as made sure Jake knew that you’d just gotten out of a bad relationship. He didn’t go into a lot of detail, but Jake knew Rooster had to fly down to Jacksonville, get you and Mathew, and that your ex was lucky he wasn’t round that weekend.

Jake knew that if he ever wanted a relationship with you, he had to go at your pace. Which meant that no matter how bad he wished he could tell you that he loved you, that he wanted to kiss you and someday marry you. He had to wait.

He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if that meant only ever being your friend.

It would break his heart, but he’d do it willingly.

If it was at your hands.  

“Come on Sweets, I think it’s time we head to bed.”

The soft smile he gives you is reassuring, and a smile slowly creeps back into your eyes. Jake clasps your hand in his, given yours a gentle squeeze, leading you out of the Hard Deck. The both of you forgetting everyone else, just happy to be back on solid ground with each other.

As you leave, you both can’t help but to think,

If this, holding each other’s hand in a silent love for each other, was all you got to have.

It would be enough,

having one another would always be enough.

…

You wake up dazed and slightly confused, you hadn’t fallen asleep in your bed. Yet here you are, wrapped up in your blanket and feeling completely rested.

After Jake had walked you to your car last night, neither of you wanted to leave the others presence. Being that it was only ten at night, you and Jake decided that he would follow you home and that you could start on your movie night. It wasn’t unusual for Jake to fall asleep on your couch, you would tuck him in, then head to bed yourself.

Though the last thing you remember from last night is, laying in-between Jake legs, snuggled against his chest, trying to stay awake.

Getting out of bed, you grab a hair tie, fixing you hair in a messy bun, and slip out the door in search for Jake. The smell of bacon hits you as you walk down the hallway, your stomach grumbling in reaction to the mouth watering sent.

Rounding the corner, you see Jake standing over your stove, his back turned to you as he hums to the music coming from your speakers.

This was your favorite Jake, all soft and warm, dressed in the sweatpants that he always left at your house and an old t-shirt. The fabric stretched across his back, worn down from the years that he’d owned it. Quietly walking up behind him, you wrap your arms around his waist, resting up against his back. Enjoying the warmth from his body and the calming rhyme of his breath.

“Good morning to you to sweets. Made you pancakes.”

You hum a good morning into his back, unwilling to let go of him yet. He reaches out to turn off the stove, before patting your arms in a signal to loosen up. Jake turns around and you can’t stop the smile that covers your face, as you take in his sleep filled eyes. Not thinking of anything other than the here and now.

“Hi” the word falls from your lips, as the only thing you can think to say this early in the morning. Jake’s smile back is the best response you could have asked for, though it’s followed up by him giving you a forehead kiss and for a moment you think that those may be your favorite thing.

He releases you from the hold and pushes you to the countertop, a plate already made for you. You say a small thank you, as he passes you a cup of coffee just how you like it. The routine of it all, feeling so domestic that it should scare you. It had always been easy between you and Jake though, fitting into each other routines perfectly.

Mornings like this were a rare occasion, Jake had yet to meet Mathew, and only stayed over when he wasn’t home. It wasn’t that you didn’t want the two of them to meet, you were just scared, worried that Mathew wouldn’t like Jake. With everything that the both of you had been through, bringing a new man into his life worried you.

Though between Penny and your parents, you and Jake had been able to have two sleepovers every month since you’d became friends, and a routine formed.

“What time do you want to head to the beach today? I was thinking that we could find a nice spot that isn’t too crowded, and you could continue reading me Gatsby. We should be able to finish it.”

Shaking your head at him, you finish off the bite of pancakes that you had been chewing. Jake didn’t cook for many people, and they were clearly missing out. Behind that cocky front, he was an amazing cook and made the best pancakes. A skill, that he had told you, came directly from his momma.

“That sounds nice, though I don’t know why you like me reading to you so much.”

Jake picks up the finished plate from in front of you, placing it in the dishwasher as you take another sip of coffee patiently waiting for his reply.

“It’s my favorite thing ma’ dear. Especially when you let me lay in your lap, and you run your fingers through my hair. It’s relaxing.”  You roll your eyes at the smirk he gives you, pushing off the stool and going to help him with the dishes.

Though he is quick to stop you, batting your hands away.

“Nope, you go get ready. I want to get there before all the good spots are gone.”

You give him a glare, annoyed that he wouldn’t let you help clean up after he cooked breakfast, but he just pushes you to your bedroom. Snaping you with a dish towel, the crack of it rings through the kitchen, and the sting on your left ass cheek makes you jump.

“You fucker.”

As you close your door, you hear his booming laugher echo through the house, please with himself.

You hurry to get ready and the both of you are on the road on the way to Jakes house, riding in his pickup. Music drifts through the speakers, the windows rolled down, the feeling of the salt air on your face is refreshing. Your sunglasses rest upon your face and you can’t stop the sneaking glances that you keep giving Jake. The sun cast over his face, highlighting his tan skin, one arm resting on the stirring wheel. While the other is resting on your knee, tapping to the beat of the music.

Peace, that’s what this moment is.

Utter peace.

And the smile Jake gives you when he notices you staring, giving your knee a squeeze, cements that thought.

Pulling up to Jake’s house, he tells you that he will be right back and that you are to stay put. You watch him as he runs up the steps, enjoying the sight of him. It’s your phone ringing that pulls you out of your thoughts, seeing that its Bradley calling.

You answer immediately, your tone light and happy. “Moring B, how are you doing?”

“You sound chipper. Bit early for you, isn’t it Y/n? Shouldn’t you be in bed still.”

“Haha, very fun.” You wish that he was here, to see the way you want to poke your tongue out at him. He was always one to give you crap for how much you enjoyed sleep. “I’ll have you know that we’re going to the beach. Sand and sun, well and Mathew, are the only reasons that I will happily get up early.”

“You and who are going to the beach?” You can hear the edge in his tone, cursing yourself for saying we instead of I’m.

“Um… well me and Jake are going to have a beach day.” You rattle off the words quickly, hoping that it’s still too early for Bradley to have heard Jakes name.

“Seresin, is taking you to the beach? Hmmm, okay have fun.”

The way he says it unsettles you. Knowing Bradley, well enough, to realize that he is scheming now. You say your goodbyes to each other, just as Jake is getting back in the truck. Clad in board shorts and a white t-shirt. He throws a bag in the back, filled with beach towels and an extra set of clothes, next to your own bag.

“All ready Sweets?”

“Most defiantly Jakey!” He grimaces at the nickname, causing you to giggle. His hand settles back on your knee, as he pulls from the driveway. Happy to get to spend the day alone with his girl. To have a whole day with you, all to himself.

You make it to the beach, the drive over slow, the both of you enjoying the car ride. Going on drives was one of your favorite things to do, especially with Jake. The atmosphere between the both of you was calm and relaxed, a comfortable silence as you hummed along to one of Jake playlists.

Pulling up to the beach, the sound of waves crashing against the sand is soothing to your ears. The cascade of blue and white washing over the sand, was always one of your favorite sights. The ocean had always been your home, always living nearby it, except for those two years when you were a teenager. Your father had gotten transferred, and though you knew it was only for a short time, you all agreed to spend the transfer together in the mid-west. When you’d finally gotten to come back to the North Island, you had decided that you always wanted to live by the sea.

The ocean and you shared a connection, healing your soul with each rise and recession of the tide. A reminder that like the tide you may fall, but you always rose again. After coming back home from Jacksonville, you found yourself constantly at the beach, it was the one place that your soul felt at peace. That your brain would actually be quiet, and all you could hear were the waves.

You didn’t catch the smile that Jake gives you as you watch the sea, the first time that you’d come to the ocean together, you had smiled the biggest that he’d ever seen you. He loved to see the calming affect that it had on you, like the ocean was calling out to you. It quickly became Jake’s favorite setting to see you in.

“Come on darlin’, let’s go find a spot.” The hand still settled on your knee gives you a squeeze, pulling you back to reality, causing you to look over at Jake. His green eyes staring back at you, with such wonder, that for a moment you think there could be so much more behind them for you. Brushing the thought off, as just that, and nothing more than your imagination. You unbuckle and getting out of the truck.

“I’ll get the bags; you get the cooler?”

“Yes ma’am.”

You follow behind Jake, letting him pick where you’d be settled for the day, the beach calm and quiet. Only a few other groups can be seen, still early in the day, and spaced far apart that you don’t have to worry about bothering anyone. You stop in the middle of the sand, far enough back that as the tide rises, you’d still be out of the way, but close enough that you could go swimming without fear of someone taking your things.

Jake settles the large blue ice chest down, flipping up his sunglasses, before giving you a bright smile, white teeth standing out against his tan skin.

“This good darlin’?”

“Perfect.” You move to start unpacking the bags, but Jake grabs them before you have chance. Settling for the smaller bag, you began pulling out the speaker and a few towels. Jake works on laying out a blanket and a beach umbrella. You had left your shoes in the truck, knowing that you wouldn’t wear them, but you grab Jakes, that he had taken off, and put them in your bag. Not wanting to lose them or forget them when you leave.

You pull off your denim shorts, not wanting them to get sandy, leaving you in an over sized t-shirt that you had stolen from Bradley years ago.

“I was thinking about reading for a bit, just enjoying the sun. Then maybe going for a swim later, if it warms up a bit. What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me sweets.” He goes to pull of his top, and your eyes fall directly to his torso. It’s not like you hadn’t seen him shirtless, but every time it made your mind go fuzzy. All the tan skin, harsh lines that no doubt take hours to maintain, and light scatter of hair that just below his board shorts. The new grey shorts don’t hide anything, you’re sure Jake noticed and happily picked them out. His cocky attitude, clearly stemming from the anatomy directly eye level with your face.

Quickly averting your gaze, you look back up Jake, hoping that your cheeks weren’t too inflamed. Doing everything in the world to clear your mind and not think about how he would absolutely split you apart. No matter how much you want the internal thoughts to be true, you know that thinking them will only break your heart.

Luckily Jake gaze wasn’t watching you but the water, rising and falling.

“Texas is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but this is something else.” He gazes back at you, to which you smile.

“I know exactly what you mean. Now come on, I want to finish the book today.”

You settle yourself in the middle of the blanket, under the umbrella and reach for your tattered couple of The Great Gatsby. Jake slides down next to you nudging your thighs apart and settles between them. Resting under the umbrella he takes off his glasses and gives you a warm smile. One of your hands comes to rest in his hair, ranking through it, while the other opens the novel. He hums in content, closing his eyes, and then leaning over to kiss the inside of your thigh. Butterflies flutter in your chest and the show of affection, loving how comfortable he is with you.

Settling back for a relaxing afternoon, your dive back into the story that is Jay and Daisy.

“When I came home to West Egg that night I was afraid for a moment…..”

The story consuming the both of you, your surroundings fading away and transporting you back into the 1920s. Jake rarely moves, and when he does it so nuzzle closer into your hand. The soft strokes of your fingers in his hair comfort the both of you.

Jake wasn’t one to let people touch his hair, preferring it when it was neatly styled, not a hair out of place. Though on days when it was just the two of you, he left it without gel, knowing that you would both inevitably end up snuggling, and your hands would land in his hair.

Time seems to slip away from the both of you and it’s not till a football flies towards the both of you, hitting Jake in the stomach, that you realize how long its been.

As the ball hits him, Jake lets out a grunt and sits up, both of your eyes flying to the direction it came from. Just a few yards away you see the whole crew, led by Bradley, heading directly towards the both of you.

Jake lets out a load groan, falling back into you. Arms wrapped around your waist, hiding his face. His voice muffled, though you can still understand him. “It was supposed to be my day.”

He reminds you of a child, mad that they have to share their toys. You can’t help the laugh the erupts from your chest, running your fingers through his hair once again.

“I may have let it slip that we were going to the beach, when Bradley called earlier.”

“Sweeeettttssss” His whiny tone, only makes you laugh more.

“Jakey, it will be fun. Having all of us together, yeah?” He looks back up to you, then over to the group that is just out of hearing range still.

“Yeah, fun.” Jake grabs the football, moving to get out of your lap and pulls you with him. Throwing the ball back to Bradley, you both go to meet your friends. Though before you reach them, Jake turns back to you with a pointed finger.

“Don’t you even think about inviting them to movie night. I’m not above popping their tires, so they can’t drive.”  

Stunned slightly at his reaction, you just nod your head. To which he kisses your cheek before heading over to the guys. Bradley meets you first, carrying another cooler, not doubt filled to the rim with beer.

You give him a questioning glare, “‘Okay have fun’, my ass Bradshaw.”

“I have no idea what you mean Y/n. We were planning to go to the beach today and it just so happened that we both choose this beach.” He gives you an award-winning smile. “Great minds think alike.”

Happy to burst his bubble, “Yeah they do, I can’t believe that you and Jake thought of the same beach.” His smile drops and you leave him with a wink, heading over to see Robert and Phoenix.

After a few trips to the cars, you finally get all of their stuff unpacked and set up next where Jake had picked out.

The guys cracking open a few beers, deciding how the teams would spilt up for dogfight football. The sun sits high in the sky, the day heating up nicely, giving you a clear view of the group of, now shirtless, pilots. You, Phoenix, and Halo decide against playing, noting that the weather is perfect for tanning.

You pull off your t-shirt, and move to get comfortable next to Phoenix and Halo, the both of them already relaxing on the sand.

Grabbing your sunscreen, you apply it to your front and face, wanting a tan, but also needing the protection. You turn around hoping to ask one of the girls to do you back, but they are both already out of it. Sunglasses on, earbuds in, and closed off to the world.

A sigh leaves you lips, you look back to the guys not wanting to be a bother. But also, not wanting to chance your skin health in the future. Everyone in your family had sensitive skin and after your mother had a skin cancer scare, you religiously started wearing sunscreen.

Deciding that its best to ask them before they start the game, you hop up sheepishly making your way over. You’d decided that you would just ask Bradley, he’d done your sunscreen millions of times over the years, and you also didn’t give a shit if you annoyed him. That was the role he got as “big brother.”

Though before you can even call out to him, Jake is jogging over to you.

“What’s up sweets? Change your mind, and wanna play?” The smirk his gives you, does nothing for the raging wave of emotions that is you.

“I was just coming to ask Bradley if he could help me with my sunscreen.” You motion to your back, with the bottle in your palm. Given a sheepish smile, slightly embarrassed that you need the help.

His open, face up palm, clearly means that he wants the bottle.

“Jake, don’t worry about it. I can just wait, it’s only my back.” You’re quickly trying to back track, even though you were extremely close and always touching, this was different. You didn’t have a shirt one, his hands would be all over you and if you though your cheeks were inflamed earlier. You knew that if he touched you, you would quiet possibility implode.

“Sweets give me the bottle; I’m not risking you getting burnt.” The no shit tone, clearly met he wasn’t taking any of your shit and that if he had to hold you down, he would. A silent battle was coursing between the two of you, eyes staring, waiting to see who would break first. Jake lifts one eyebrow, a silent “don’t test me” spoken loud and clear. Begrudgingly, he had over the bottle.

A whistle and twirl of the finger from Jake, makes you turn around. Reaching up to hold your hair out of the way, you can feel the way your heartbeat speeds up. It rings loud in your ears, and you only hope that Jake doesn’t notice.

The slow anticipation kills you, and it’s the way his fingertips ghost over your shoulder blade, moving a stray piece of hair out of the way, causing a shutter to track down your spin and go goosebumps to cover your arms.

“You cold, sweets?” though the question seems sweet, the teasing tone in his voice is clearly anything but. All that you can manage is a nod, while he releases a chuckle. The ghost of his hands tracing shapes into your skin has your ears ringing. Hands falling down around your hips, tracing the top of your bottoms, then back up. Up the sides of your waist, skimming just under the curve of your breasts. You’re positive that your breath is coming out in soft pants.

Jake couldn’t help it, having your soft skin finally under his hands, the way that his mind had been begging him to. Finally able to, the way that his hand wandered was an out of body experience. One that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. No, he wanted to memorize every inch of your skin, not caring that you both were out in public, with everyone’s eyes possibly watching. So, he traced just under the cusp of your heaving breasts, his own breath uneven, coming around to massage your shoulder blades.

With each push of his thumbs, loosening the tight muscles, you fall farther from reality. Jake was all consuming, pushing and pulling every breath from your chest. You can’t stop the way your shoulders sag, head dropping to the side as he pushes on a sensitive spot. A whimpering moan drops from your lips, and you can’t stop it. You didn’t want to stop it, only thinking in the heat filled haze that surrounded you.

Jake just about dies, there in the sand, and he would go happily. Taken by the sweetest fucking sound that he’d ever heard, he wants to draw a continuous string of those moans from your lips. He’d do just about anything to hear that noise again, but he knows that once you come out of the haze you’ll be embarrassed. He also doesn’t want to attract the attention of the guys anymore, then they already possibly are.

His hands move up to grab your hair from your hands, taking it and releasing it, just after placing a delicate kiss to the center of your shoulder blades. His mouth coming to rest by your ear, and his breath warms you, down to your bones.

“All done.” You imagine that his voice sounds just a breathless as yours and can only nod. Muttering a quick thank you and grab the sunscreen back before Jake can tell how needy he’s made you.

Your retreating figure leaves Jake alone, giving him time to process his thoughts, and notice the prominent bulge, that his grey fucking shorts do nothing to hide. Cursing himself, he shifts doing his best to hide it, trying to think of anything other than your soft skin and how you sound.

The thought of Rooster’s godforsaken mustache settles him enough that he’s sure the guys won’t notice. Now he just has to figure out how to forget the ordeal completely, how to let you take your time, and how not to make a move the second he sees you again.

…

Darkness settles across the beach as the sunsets, the cold seeping into your bones. As the guys work to start a bomb fire, wanting to make smores, you search through your bag looking for a sweater. Unsuccessfully, you move over to Jakes bag hoping that he was smart enough to bring one. He ran hot blooded and wouldn’t need one, so you weren’t too hopeful in your pursuit. Though when you feel the thick material, you pull it out and do a small happy dance. Slipping it over your head, the warmth of it incases your body. Smelling of jet fuel and his cologne, you want to sink farther into it and the warm feeling it gives you. Instead, you stand and make your way to the group, the bottom of the sweater reaching down, just below your butt and the sleeves covering your hands.

They had started to fire away from the previous placement of your things, not waiting to risk everyone’s stuff getting smokey. He had noticed you go off while they were setting everything up, knowing that you wouldn’t wander far, especially not at night.

He sees you, clad in his sweater, looking so warm and comfy. The light of the fire bounced off you, lighting up your gentle face and sea sprayed hair. He’d always been a bit territorial with you, though seeing you in his clothes, triggered a whole new level.

You were standing there, in his clothes.

You were his, whether you knew it or not.

You would always be his.

Walking through the group, thankful for the addition of a fire, you can feel yourself warming up even more. You gentle smack Bradley upside the head as you pass him, catching the tail end of a story about your childhood.

“Ouch.” He gives you teasing glare, while you stick your tongue out at him. Causing the group to laugh at your siblingish antics. “Anyway, she had convinced me to try and sneak into the hanger with her. But at the last minute backed out, even though I was already in the HANGER.” You can’t stop the giggle that bubbles up your chest remembering the day.

“I saw Mav coming, and I wasn’t about to get in trouble.” You say as you settle between Jake legs, him intently listening to the story unfold.

“You could have signaled me, but no you left me for dead.” The accusation causes everyone to laugh at Bradley’s exasperated sigh. “Mav made me clean the hanger floor with a toothbrush, A TOOTHBRUSH.”

“I offered to help—”

“Yeah, but he said that you couldn’t. That I needed to learn my lesson. I missed my date with Alison Reynolds because of you.”

You’d forgotten that bit, though hearing it makes your throw your head back in laugher.

“She was a bitch anyway B, I saved you.” You hadn’t stopped laughing and the middle finger Bradley flips you only makes you laugh harder.

He starts up another story, one that you aren’t apart of, while you relax into Jake chest. His arms rest around your waist, gently tugging at the sweater.

“This mine sweets?”

“It was, but it’s mine now.” You turn to give him a sly smile. “I’ll give it back, once it stops smelling like you, and pick out a new one.”

An amused smile graces Jake face, not the slightest bit stunned by your cheeky nature.

“You really are something else, you know that.” A shake of his head, and he’s pulling you in. Crashing you against his chest, where you end up settling for the night. Drinking beers and chatting with your friends. Enjoying each other warmth and the carefree nature of the group of friends.

…

Jake holds your form, as another fit of giggles pass through your lips. You, Phoenix, and Halo, had decided to break open the vodka, which had been a sight in itself. The three of you taking shots, to one up one another, Jake and Rooster had stepped in once you’d reached the giggling phase. The two claiming that it was time for bed and began breaking up the party. Jake only had one beer, once he realized that you would be drinking, he wanted to make sure you got home safe.

Forgoing the thought of you walking up the drive, he lifts you bridal style and carries you to your front door.

Arms wrapped around his neck; he only pauses to get your keys from his back pocket. Catching the sight of your glazed eyes staring back up at him, taking in every move he makes.

“Jakeyyyyyy, I love you.” The wording pauses him from opening the door, immediately looking back at your face. Though you’re no longer looking at him but resting your head against his chest.

“I love you too, darlin’” You miss the sad tone in his voice, only snuggling farther into him.

Getting into the house, Jake kicks the door shut and toes off his shoes, not wanting to get sand in the house. You shift in his hold just slightly, causing Jake to think that you’ve doused off. Making his way to your bedroom, he gently sets you on the bed, as your eyes peek open, and a soft smile graces your face.

“Need you to get changed darlin’. I’m gonna get you some water to drink.” The nod that you give him, reassures him enough, that he leaves you sitting on the bed and goes to get a glass of water.

Wanting to get out of your sandy swimsuit you tug it off, happy to feel free of its constraints. Throwing the tangle of clothing into a pile on the floor, you could deal with it tomorrow, you grab a pair of panties. Crawling back up the bed to grab Jake’s discarded sweater, you pull it over your naked form. You can’t stop the shiver and the heat that pools in your core as it scraps across your taut nipples.

A soft knock echoes through the room, and Jake is standing there in just a pair of sweats with a glass of water. Your eyes zero in on his v-line and how the sweats dip almost letting you see him. Your mouth goes dry at the thought, and you don’t hear Jake talking. Only realizing he’s said something, as he holds out the glass of water for you.

Crawling to the edge of the bed, you rest back on your knees, talking the glasses from him. It takes everything within Jake, to stop the groan that wants to leave his body. As you sit there so pretty for him, in nothing but panties and his sweater.

You’re trying to kill him; tipsy you is trying to kill him.

You finish the glass, then bend back to put the glass on the bed side table. Jake’s sweater ridding up your form, giving him the perfect view of your bent over ass, begging to be smacked. This time the groan falls from his lips. When you sit back up looking into his eyes, you find his pupils blown wide, begging to devour you.

“You need to go to bed sweets.” His words are firm, but is tone isn’t and you no longer feel like holding back. The rush of alcohol flowing through your veins, clouds your sober brain. The only thing you want right now is standing right in front of you.

Rising up on your knees, chest pressed against him, one hand resting on his chest, the other sliding down his arm. Your eyes never breaking apart as you take his hand, moving the sweater, placing it on the open expanse of your hip.

Jake’s touch is still light and unsure, he was positive that you were tipsy, tittering on drunk. Though, he swears your eye’s had never been clearer than they are right now.

“I want this, Jake. I want you.”

Before he can say anything else, before you could lose your nerve, the hand that laced around his neck pulls him down. Pulling his lips to yours, and as they meet, time stops.

You feel his other hand come and cradle your face. While the other is no longer palming your hip, but clasped around the side strap of your panties. Grasping them so tightly that you swear he might rip them of you.

The kiss is harsh, teeth and tongue clashing, both of you tired of holding back. Finally in each other’s arms, the only oxygen either of you needed would come from the others mouth. The flames that you had felt earlier, were nothing compared to this. Having Jakes lips slotted against your own, fitting together as if you were meant for one another. The both of you begging for the other to understand the silent commandment of love, of the feels never said.

Jake pulls away first, his heart stutter-stepping, working to control his breathing. He looks at you for any sign of regret and sees none. No, not regret, but a gorgeous smile graces your face. You break out into a giggle again, head falling to rest on his chest.

Worry clouds his mind for a moment, were you just tipsy and could act on your feelings, or would morning come, and you wouldn’t remember a thing. He feels his heart crack slightly, the thought of finally getting you, and then losing you once again kills him.

He brushes a kiss to the crown of your head, “Come on sweets, bed.”

This time you don’t fight him, crawling up to your pillow, Jake moves the covers out of the way, waiting for you to get settled.

You give him a soft, content smile as he tucks you in. He brushes a stray hair out of your eyes, cupping your cheek gently and laying one last kiss to your brow.

“Stay with me.” Your hand reaching up to clasp around his wrist.

Though the sad smile he gives you, causes you to loosen your hold.

“We need to talk about us first sweets. I won’t take advantage of you; you mean too much to me.”

With that he rises, flicking off your bedside lamp, ready to make is way to the couch and try and sleep. Though he doubts that sleep will come easy, leaving him ample time to over think.

Your soft voice calls out before he can shut your door, “We’ll talk in the morning though, right? I want this, Jake. I want us.”

Jake swears that he could hear a crack in your voice, as if you were fighting back tears.

“Course sweets, we’ll talk first thing.” As he closes the door, quiet words fall from his lips. Ones that aren’t meant for your ears.

“If you remember.”

….

Jake wakes up before you, honestly, he had never gone to sleep. His mind running on high, every possible outcome resulting from last night, on a never-ending loop. Each time he closed his eyes, he felt you, saw you blissed out on his kiss, could feel the way you fit perfectly against him. It was driving him crazy the waiting game, so at 4:30 he had decided to go for a run.

He got back to the house around 6, the beat of the pavement against his feet had helped. Grounding him to the right now, music blasting in his ears to fight back any intruding thoughts. He’d pushed himself this morning, the fifteen-mile run, exhausting him. Exhaustion and pain filled his body, the tightness in his chest was no longer because of you, but the harsh cold air working against his lungs.

He'd relished in the pain, sweat coating him after pushing just a little more. Jake had always used running as an escape from his problems, pushing himself to the point of breaking, hoping to feel something other his actual problem.

You were still in bed when he got back to the house, he’d checked in on you and found you face down, grasping your pillow as soft snores drifted past your lips.

You’d woke with a pounding headache, and a dull ringing in your ears. Harshly throwing the covers from your body, you stand up, dizzy for a moment, before your vision clears up. The darkness of your room a welcomed visual, knowing that light would only make you feel worse. Leaving the safety of your room, you head to the bathroom hoping to find some pain reliever. Your eyes squint, as the morning light beckons through the hallway window. You silently curse Mother nature for making the sun so bright, especially on day that you were hungover.

Making it to the bathroom you find your bottle of Aleve, taking the last two pill and mentally noting that you needed to pick up more. Shrugging off Jake sweater from last night, turn on the water, hoping side to side in hopes to keep warm as the shower heats up. Stepping in, you welcome the burning heat of the water, letting it wash away the sand and grim from yesterday.

You eventually make your way to the kitchen, the throbbing in your head subduing, and the welcomed smell of breakfast greets you. Not seeing Jake in the kitchen, you call out to him, while making your way the coffee pot. Fixing yourself the much-needed dose of caffeine for the day, knowing that you would be picking up Mathew soon.

You’d constantly been texting with your mother all weekend, receiving picture and text updates about he was doing. You’d enjoyed the weekend off, though you were extremely excited to have your baby back in your arms. While leaving him with your parents had become easier in the past four months, the amount to missed him never lessened.

Having not heard Jake answer, you casually walk around the house looking for him. Not finding him, you look outside, seeing his truck you know that he had to be around.

You hear a quite thudding sound, at first not noticing it, though as you got closer to the backyard the louder it got. Taking a sip of your coffee, relishing in the taste, before opening the back door and finding Jake.

His figure hunched over your raised flower beds, well the beginning of your raised flower beds. You’d been working them, not having much luck with Mathew always around. He constantly wanted to help you, which was great, except when it came to sharp tools. The only time that Mathew wasn’t with you was during nap time, and you’d learned that the pounding of nails woke him up. Leaving your beds unfinished, and constantly taunting you.

The click of the shutting door pulls Jakes attention to you.

“Your quiet the helper to have around the house, might have to keep you.” You give him a teasing smile, in hopes to pull a matching one from him.

You didn’t know what was going on, but the air between the two of you felt tense, like you were both on edge.

A smirk creeps on to his face, good enough for you, “I had to do something, while you slept the morning away.”

A quiet scoff leaves you lips, not making an argument against his stated fact, when both you and him know it’s the truth.

“How’d you sleep anyway darlin’? That vodka not hitting you to hard this morning, is it?” He sees you roll your eyes and lets out a laugh, which has you flipping him off.

“Phoenix and Halo, both better have hangovers this morning. It was their idea, and I’m going to be pissed if I’m the only one suffering.”

Making your way over to him, you settle in the grass next to him and offer him a sip of your coffee, which he gladly accepts. Glancing past the white fence, you can see the sun rising in the distance. Painting the sky pink and purple, Jake settles next to you, the both of you quietly watching the sunrise. Your body gravities to his, your head finding a home on his left shoulder, enjoying the peacefulness as you pass your coffee back and forth.

Jake had spent all morning trying to stay active, to keep his mind busy. Though now cuddled up against one another, sharing coffee and acting so domestic, his mind races out of his grasp.

“I’m surprised that your awake this early, getting you into bed was no easy feat.” He casts the line out, silently hoping that you remembered the kiss. Though not mentioning it, just in case you didn’t. Jake wasn’t going to thrust something onto you like that; not the kiss, not your confessions, and certainly not that he felt the exact same way.

Rooster had asked him to go slow, and he would. Hell, after Jake found out about your ex, he firmly stated that you would always have the deciding vote in whether a relationship ever occurred.

The groan the escapes your lips, has Jakes breathing stilled.

“I hope I wasn’t too much trouble, and I promise next time I will take care of you.”

Jake feels his heart drop, hearing the conformation that you had no recollection of last night, feels like a heavy weight settling onto his chest.

For a moment you think that you see the frown form on Jakes lips, though when you actually look at him a smile is in its place. The smile seems forced, not reaching his eyes, like you know his genuine smile does.

“No don’t worry darlin’ you were fine.”

His voice sounds distant and as he turns from you, the final look of his eyes seems dull and withdrawn. For some reason your heart aches, deep within you a knowing, that you were missing something. Though you have no clue as to what it might be, leaving you both in a vast ocean drifting farther apart.

….

You both work the morning away, subconsciously avoiding one another. Though when noon rolls around, you know that you have to head to pick up Mathew soon and you couldn’t leave Jake on unsteady ground. No matter what, you needed him; you just hoped he felt the same.

You hear him come back inside from the back, you call out to him, before you can give yourself time to second guess the decision. Rounding the corner toward the kitchen, Jake is covered in sweat, the morning sun grilling him. He had finished your flower beds, and was just coming to tell you when you called out.

“I need to pick up Maty soon, but I don’t….” the breath you take in is unsteady and as you look at him the gaze he gives you, steadies your racing heart. “I can’t leave you with tension in-between us.”

You watch as his shoulders drop and before you know it, Jake is taking you in his arms. The both of you holding on to the other, taking in the sound of the others heart beating.

“I know darlin’. Don’t you worry sweets, we are just fine.” His voice steady, unbreaking, comforting you, and even though you hadn’t talked about the unknown, for right now it didn’t matter. A problem saved for a later day.

You pull back from the hug and rest against the counter, slowly tracing patterns into his open palms.

“So, I was thinking that, maybe, if you wanted, you could come and pick up Mathew with me?” You can hear you voice shake as you ask the question, too afraid to look Jake in the eyes and see his answer.

A hand grasps your chin, tilting your face up, his eyes staring into your soul, looking for any indecisiveness.

“You sure?”

You can’t stop the smile that forms now, “Positive.” A nod of the head gives a second confirmation.

“I would love to meet Mathew darlin’. Thank you for trusting me to.”

You wrap your arms around him, before he can see the tears that line your eyes. As his hand comes up to stroke the back of your head, your positive that even with you hiding it, Jake knows that you are crying.

“It just really means a lot that you care.”

“He’s another extension of you sweets, I already love him.” His thumb slides up to wipe the stray tear that you didn’t notice fall. A nod of your head is all you have to offer. Amazed at how lucky you are to have such a loving, and caring man in your life.

Thirty minutes later the both of you are in your car, Jake insisted on driving, and you happily complied, your head still aching a bit. You curled up in the passenger seat, head resting back with your sunglasses secure on your face, avoiding the bright light that is the California sun.

“You want to put some music on Sweets?” Turning to look at Jake, his eyes still focused on the road, but his hand holds out his phone for you to grasp.

You type in his password, having learned it a while ago, when you ordered pizza for a movie night.

“Just find a playlist, whatever you want listen too is fine.” You hum in acknowledgment already in his music app and scrolling. There’s a number of playlists; flight music, beach toons, oldies, country favorites, but the playlist that catches your eye is one named Sweets. You pause, looking back over at Jake, then back to the playlist, and again back over to Jake.

He notices your glance fleeting between him and the phone, breaking his gaze on the road to look at you.

“You have a playlist named after me.” You had wanted it to be a question, though it clearly comes out as a statement. The flush covering his cheeks is answer enough that your statement was correct.

Jake averts his eyes back to the road, clears his throat, and hopes that his flaming cheeks are calmed down.

“It’s music that makes me think of you.” His hand resting on your knee, gives you a gentle squeeze, making your face now flush red.

Knowing that he had taken time and made you a playlist, fills you with warmth. You can’t stop the smile from forming on your lips, making you feel like a giddy schoolgirl. You press your playlist and begin to scroll, seeing songs that you knew and others you didn’t. Scrolling through the list you can’t believe how many songs; he’d saved for you.

“Jake there are over a hundred songs on here.” The disbelief is clear on your face and in your tone.

“I know.”

He’s not giving you anything, no show of one specific emotion. Your scrolling comes to an abrupt halt when you see the familiar song, I’m already there by Lonestar, the song that your mother played on repeat whenever your father was deployed. You press on the song, letting the music feel your car and you can’t stop the tears that lining your eyes.

Having no words, you look over to Jake and find his eyes already watching you. The tightness in your throat makes it so you can’t talk, afraid that if you do the tears would fall.

Jake notices the tears, removing his hand from your knee and clasps the hand resting in your lap.

The lyrics drifting through the speakers, ‘Said I really miss you darling. Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright. Wish I was in your arms–’

Both of you, taken with the words of the song. No words need to be spoken between the two of you. Fingers intertwined, and when Jake brings your hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on your knucks, your tears fall.

Your quick to wipe them away, hating that you are showing so much emotion. Emotions that you’re positive Jake doesn’t reciprocate, though in moments like this you’re not so sure.

Worry coats Jake features, fearing that making the playlist was too much. Scared that he might have just pushed you away. He starts you release your hand, though your quick to tighten your hold.

“No. Umm–.” You clear your throat before continuing, pushing past the tremble of your voice. “My mom, she… she used to play this whenever dad was deployed.”

Understanding crosses Jakes features, and his slacken hand grips on to yours once again. You give him a smile, sinking back into your seat, and bring your joined hands to rest in your lap. The both of you content to sit and listen to the music. To be in each other’s presence and know that while the two of you might not be officially together, you were far from apart.

Arriving to your parents’ house, Jake parks your car idlily sitting in his seat while you get out. He didn’t want to intrude and thought it best that he wait in the car. Jake had met admiral Benjamin before he had retired, even meeting your mother at Naval Ball one year and admired the couple.

Turning back around when you don’t hear the driver’s door open, you see an idle Jake sitting and taping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“You’re coming, aren’t you?”

His gaze snaps to you, a questioning look on his face. He looks so unlike himself, like he really didn’t think you wanted him to come with you.

“I didn’t wanna intrude Sweets.”

Smiling you walk around to his side of the car and open the door, grasping his hands, tugging him out with you.

“You could never intrude. Now come on, you have someone special to meet.” The comment makes Jake smile, more than excited to finally get to meet Mathew.

“It seems your right darlin’.”

You take hurried steps up the sidewalk, pulling open the front door without knocking. Your hands still clasped in Jake’s as you pull him along with you.

“Mom, we’re –”

Though before you can finish, little feet come padding down the hallway.

“Momma!” the screech of Mathews voice warms your heart, and you drop to your knees just in time to catch him. His little arms wrapping around your neck, while you rub his back, pulling him back to shower his face with kisses.

“Momma, stop. Tickles!”

His giggle make Jakes heart constrict, he had seen pictures of the little boy, but now seeing him with you, it felt like he was home. The little boy is a spitting image of you, from his hair, to skin tone, and even the way that his giggle matched yours.

“I missed you so much baby.” You place one more kiss on his cheek, before rising with Mathew settled on your hip.

“Maty, I have someone I want you to meet.” Your gaze flicks to Jake, giving him a soft smile, before turning back to Mathew. “This is my friend Jake, baby.”

Jake holds his breath, he’d never been so anxious in his entire life, Mathew’s opinion of him holding more weight than any general he’d ever met.

When the small boy makes eye contact, Jake gives him a soft smile and wave.

“Hey, buddy.”

“You like toys?”

The question makes Jake laugh, he was used to his nieces constantly talking about their toys, and he wasn’t surprised it was the first thing Mathew asked him. He had seen the multiple toys scattered around the house, and knew that Mathew had a love for Disney, specifically Buzz Lightyear.  

“I do buddy, my favorites Toy Story.”

The awe that spread across Mathew face, caused you both to laugh, happy to see him taken with Jake already.

“You know Buzz?”

You go to set Mathew down, his wiggling form clearly on a mission. Already moving for Jake, before you can stop him. Mathews tiny fingers clasp around Jake pointer, pulling Jake to follow him.

“Grandma and Papa got me new Buzz toys. Come see!”

“That’s awesome bud, let’s see ‘em.”

The sight of Jake, a fearless fighter pilot, that intimidated most people he knew, being pulled by your over exuberant two-year-old is a sight to see. Mathew pulls him into your parent’s family room, unfazed that he had only just met Jake. You follow behind the duo, and hear Jake acknowledge your parents with a kind nod, and a sir, ma’am.

Your mother gives you a questioning glance, though you father speaks first.

“Lt. Seresin, good to see you again.” His hand clasping on you Jake’s back. Removing himself from Mathew, who all but pouts at the loss of his new friend, clasp your fathers hand giving him a firm shake.

“Admiral Benjamin, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Your father and Jake get carried away in conversation, though staying next to Mathew to make sure he’s included. Jake bounces between answering your fathers’ questions and excitedly commenting on every toy Mathew holds up for him to view.

Your mother comes to stand next to you, leaning against the kitchen counter, knocking hips with you.

“You never said you were seeing anyone?” Her teasing tone makes you blush, knocking your hip back against her.

“I’m not, Jake is a friend.” You look over to the trio, finding the three most important men in your life. “A good friend.”

Though your mother doesn’t mention it, she notices the look in your eyes as you stare at Jake. It’s the same look that he had given your father when they first got together, and now here they were 40 years later.

Your mother brushes a kiss on your cheek, combing her hand through your hair and gives you a slight hug, before he heads to grab Mathew’s things from this weekend. You don’t notice her leave, your stare never leaving Jake and Mathew interacting, until she sets Maty bag on the counter in front of you.

“Sweetheart, what do you think about staying for dinner tonight.”

You look back to your mother, wanting nothing more than to have everyone together for dinner, though you aren’t sure if Jake made other plans for the night. You don’t want to be a bother to him and keep him from more important things.

“We would mom, but I don’t know what Jake has planned tonight and – ”

He hears you say his name, catching the tail end of the conversation with your mother. Jake tells your father that he would be right back and makes his way over to you. Your mother had left you again to go do something, so he quickly grabs your hand, pulling you in the hall away from others.

“Hey Sweets.” He gives you that award-winning smile that always make you stomach flip.

“Hey yourself! Maty seems to have taken right to you.” Your hand brushes down his arm, landing at his fingers, gently intertwining them together.

“Yeah, he’s amazing. You’re doing an amazing job darlin’.” His praise makes you preen, getting feedback from anyone about how you raise Mathew means the world to you, but hearing it from Jake makes it so much sweeter. “I heard your momma and you talking, and I heard her mention dinner. Now darlin’ if you don’t want to stay for dinner we can go. But if you’re saying no because you think I don’t want to have dinner with your family, well Sweets you are terribly mistaken. I want nothing more than to spend time with you and your family, to see this side of you.”

You scrunch you nose in delight, utterly amazing and yet confused by the hold this man has on you. “Jacob Grant Seresin, what in the world are you doing to me?” You gently click your tongue against your teeth at him, and he rewards you with a dazzling smile. “I guess we’re staying for dinner.”

Before you can move to tell your mother that plans changed, Jake swoops down and plants a firm kiss on your cheek.

“I guess we are.” His words are muffled against your cheek, yet you can still understand them. His hand sliding up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles, far more loving than your relationship permitted. “Whatever it is that gets you smiling like that, darlin’ I’m going to be doing it for the rest of my life.”

“You’re such a sweet talker,” you shake your head at him, making to push him back to the living room. “You go play with Maty and dad. I’ll help mom start dinner.”  

He reluctantly lets you push him away from you, turning back one last time with a teasing smile. Falling back against the hallway wall you sit in silence, what the hell was going on between the two of you. You knew that you weren’t together, but you sure as hell acted like you were. You’d been so positive that Jake didn’t see you like that, and know he’s gone and confused you.

Smiling to yourself you could never be mad at him; you’d figure it out eventually. For now, though you were going to enjoy the time with your family, which now felt complete in Jake’s presence.

 Dinner had gone swimmingly, Jake and your father talking about his time in service. Your dad singing high praise for Jake and all he had heard from Admiral Kazansky. Jake had wooed your mother, being the ever-southern gentleman, that his momma no doubt made him into. Jake had completely surprised you, when Mathew asked to sit by him, wanting Jake to help him with dinner, and Jake not only complied, but did it happily.

He was a man after your heart it seemed.

As the evening came to a close, you noticed Mathew getting restless while lying in your lap. The five of you had decided to retire to the family room and talk after dinner ended. That was an hour and a half ago, and Mathew was officially done for the day. Knowing that the drive would take at least thirty minutes, landing you home at 8:30, and a half hour late for Maty’s bedtime.

Your mother had told you that he had taken a bath the night before, so you knew that he would be fine for the night. He would just need a diaper change and to get into his jammies, though the drive was likely to put him to sleep and you didn’t want to risk waking him.

“Mom, did you use that extra set of jammies I packed for Maty?”

Pulling for her conversation with Jake, you hadn’t meant to interrupt. You hadn’t even realized they had been talking; too busy making a mental check list.  

“No, I didn’t sweetheart, let me go grab them for you.”

As she leaves you, Jake moves over to you, standing behind you and the half-asleep Mathew, his hands resting on your shoulders.

“We going to head out, get little man to bed?”

You give a soft hum as confirmation, moving Mathew as his elbow digs into your stomach. You mom comes back with his jammies and hands them, as well as a nighttime diaper, to you. A quiet thank you falls from your lips, not wanting wake Mathew.

You set up from the couch, Jake moving to grab Mathew from your arms, waiting for you to lead him somewhere that you could change the munchkin in private.

You lead him to your old bedroom, which had been turned into a second room for Mathew when he stayed here. The toddler still fast asleep, head resting on Jake shoulder sucking on his thumb, while his other hand cling’s to Jake’s shirt.

“Alright bud, just lay down here for momma.”

Mathew barley shifts once Jake has him on the changing table, you make quick work of getting him changed. Only waking him once, though he falls right back to sleep as Jake runs his fingers through his hair.

“He likes you.”

A soft smile forms on Jakes lips, his hand moving to cradle his head as he picks him back up, ready to get him in the car seat.

“Well, he has good taste.”

You scoff at the statement, Jake already heading out of the room, your mind drifting and think about how good Jake was with Mathew.

You push the thought away, going out to meet your parents, who are already saying their goodbyes to Mathew and Jake. Each of them kissing Mathew head, causing him to snuggle deeper into Jake’s neck.

“I’m gonna get him strapped in.” You give him a nod, going to say goodbye to your parents. “It was a pleasure to see you again Admiral. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious Mrs. Benjamin.”

Both your parents tell him to come back anytime, as well as telling him that he can call them by their first names. Though he just nods, telling them thank you again, then goes out to strap Mathew in. The little boy, more than content with the idea of sleeping in Jakes arms all night.

You thank your parents for dinner as well as the weekend, tell them both how much you love them. They each kiss you on the cheek, walking you to the door. Though before your out the door you father speaks up.

“He’s good for you sweetheart, for the both of you.”

“It’s not like that daddy.” You can’t help the way your smile slightly drops.

“I’ve got my own eyes sweetheart.” He brushes a kiss to the crown of your head, giving you a hug. “I know exactly what I see. Now you get home, get Mathew in bed.”

Leaving them, with a soft smile, you can’t help but to wonder what exactly it is that your parents can see between you and Jake. Were you being completely obvious with your feelings for him?

Jake has the car started, Mathew buckled and sleep, with soft music playing in the car, by the time you make it out. A sight that you could get more than used to. Climbing in, Jake grabs your idle hand, holding it in his lap, and heads out the driveway.

The drive home was quiet, a comfortable silence. Mathew not waking, not even when Jake grabs him from the car seat. You grab his diaper bag, already in front of Jake to unlock the front door.  

“His bed, right?”

“Yeah, thank you.” Jake gives you a nod, and heads down the hallway. You place Mathew’s diaper bag down, ready for bed yourself. The weekend catching up to you. Conversations from earlier, making you replay every moment between you and Jake. Before you can throw yourself of the cliff, that is your mind, Jake reappears.

“Maty’s is out like a light.” He comes you rest across from you, leaning against the opposite counter.

“Thank you for everything today.” You look up into Jakes eyes, the deep green watching you carefully, assessing your every movement. Not giving yourself time to over think, you go and hug him. His arms wrapping around you just as tight, you can’t help but worry about the bubble you’ve created popping. If your about to lose, whatever you had created with Jake.

If it was only a phase, meant for the week, like a changing season.

It wasn’t something that you necessarily wanted to mention, and Jake have never said he liked you like that. Not even in the beginning of your friendship when it would have been so much easier to decipher feelings.

Now things were messy, he was one of your best friends and meant the world to you. You would never do anything to compromise that relationship.

On the other hand, you were positive that you were falling in love with him. You had noticed your feeling before, but seeing him with Maty…. It was like your whole world finally made sense.

You pull away from Jake, as a yawn falls from your lips. He chuckles at you, giving your hands a squeeze, then moving to the front door.

“I think that’s my que to leave Sweets.” He grabs his things off the couch, setting them on the floor and gives you one more hug. “Thank you for today, it means the world, that you let me meet Mathew. He’s amazing, just like his momma.” The kiss he brushes against your brow, causes your chest to ache.

The nod you give him, doesn’t, nearly, convey everything that you want Jake to know. But it’s all you can manage, when your already on the precipice of confessing information that could catastrophically ruin your friendship. If Jake notices how quiet you’ve become, he doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll see you later?” his question is open ended. Leaving room for you to say when, but you can’t bring yourself to answer.

“Yeah. Text me know you get home, so I know you made it.” It might sound controlling, but you would never stop caring about his safety.

“Course.” His hand slips from yours as he leaves. “Goodnight darlin’.”

“Night Jake.”

And just like that he’s gone, leaving you alone in an endless cycle of thoughts, a mess that you can’t process. One you’re not sure you even want to process. The ever-looming thought of heartbreak, and how maybe you weren’t meant for relationships seeps in.

Your back pushes off the door, double checking that it’s locked, and then heading to bed.

“Laine left me, I got cold.” The words take a moment to register, though when they do you sit up faster than you ever have. Gray is still clutched to your chest, though you tighten your hold on him at the possiblity of Laine disapearing. Your eyes adjust and flitter room, Gray shifts in your hold and holds on to you in silence, waiting. Jake still hadn’t woken up, the man could sleep through a tornado, which he had when you visited his parents last year. It wasn’t a fun experience, to say the least. Just as your arm is about to smack him and make him get up with you, you catch sight of a little ball of blonde hair peeking out from under the blanket, laying on his chest.

A sigh leaves your body as the tension in your shoulders drops and you lay back down, contemplating if you wanted to risk Laine waking up when you moved her or if you should just let the both of them sleep in the bed for the night. You pull Gray farther into your chest as he nuzzles at the soft blanket and his small hand holds onto the hand you have wrapped around him.

You realize that neither of them would be going back to the other room tonight and so, you move Gray to get him under the covers with you. He finds the sleeve of your pjs and holds it, thumb rubbing the material as he falls back to sleep. Jake arms move slightly and for a minute you worry that he’s going to squish Laine. But instead, his arms wrap around her, as he rolls onto his side to face you, they’re both still asleep, yet grasp onto each in a near death grip. The small nuzzle she does against Jake chest, just under his chin fills your heart with a kind of love you feared you would never get.

Your eyes trail down to Gray and even after he’s fallen asleep, he holds on to your shirt. You place a kiss to the crown of his head, before checking the clock. 2:30 you still had 4 hours before you had to get up and as you settle back in the bed, you make a mental note to thank Jake for insisting that you needed a King size bed.

...

It’s not a random weight that wakes you up this time, but instead a pair of giggles and Gray quietly telling Laine to stop. Your eyes peel open, Gray is still settled by your side and he gives you a tiny smile before cuddling back into you at the realization that you’re awake. Jake and Laine had shifted again through the night, and she once again rests on his chest. Though as you move, her bright blue eyes flash to you, and give you a small smile, before she goes back to tapping on Jake’s nose.

He'd move every so often and the pair would start laughing. It’s during one of their giggling fits that you see Jake’s eyes open. He gives you a quick wink, before pretending to be asleep again. A smile rests on your face as you glance at the alarm clock, you still had 10 minutes before it would go off. It’s only 6:20 and while you knew the twins were morning birds, you hadn’t realized just how early and yet cheerfully they woke up.

A loud squeal from Laine and the small jump Gray does back into your chest, pulls you from your thought. You look over in time to see Jake grabbing Laine and rolling to lay on top of her. He doesn’t put his whole weight on her, though traps her just enough that she’s stuck under him in a fit of giggles. A look of worry and teasing crosses Jake’s face as he looks at you and Grayson.

“Gray have you seen sissy?”

Gray erupts into a fit of giggles while shaking his head, as Laine tries to wiggle out but can’t manage. Jake’s eyes find your own and you’re sure that your smile matches his.

“Darlin’, have you seen Ms. Madelaine?” You laugh at his overexaggerated reaction, as his eye’s pass over her small form more than once. “I just can seem to find my little darlin’ anywhere.”

“Mr. Jake!” She finally gains Jake’s attention, though upon “realization” of where she is, he starts a massive tickle war between the two.

You laugh at the pair, the both of them are identical rays of sunshine in every sense that would cause someone to assume Jake was Laine’s father.  You roll to lay on your back, shifting to pull the blanket up closer to your chest, in hopes to enjoy the last few minutes before your alarm goes off. Your eyes close and when the small form climbs up to lay on your chest and relax with you, you instantly wrap your arms around Gray. Your hand lightly combs through his hair and the small sigh he releases brings you a type of comfort you never knew existed. Your body sinks farther into the bed as Gray’s breath evens out, your own breath slipping in time with his.

You don’t notice as Jake slips from the bed to turn off your alarm and holding onto Laine as he makes his way to the kitchen, leaving the pair of you to get a few more minutes of sleep. 

...

Jake slowly makes his way down the hallway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Madelaine leads the way to the kitchen. Her small blonde curls bounce along the way and the excited squeal she gives when Jake asks if she wants pancakes, has his heart clenching and willing to do anything to hear that kind of joy from her every day.

Jake goes about getting the few ingredients, though the sight of Laine trying to watch but not wanting to get in the way, has him picking her up and sitting her on a part of the counter. Close enough that she could see but was also a safe distance from the stove.

“Alright little lady, Gray and CeCe are resting up, which means we have full control of the kitchen.” The smirk and raised eyebrows that Jake gives Laine, has her give him a look that’s nearly identical.

“Does that mean we can make purple pancakes?” Her eyes are hopeful, though a small flash of doubt crosses her face as if she shouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. Her chin dips slightly, though Jake is quick to tip it back up and give her a smile.

“That is exactly what it means, but we also need to make a special color for Gray.”

“Blue, he loves blue!”

Jake shakes his head with a smile at the small nod of confidence she gives him and gets to work mixing up a batch of pancake mix.

...

Laine had somehow found her way onto Jake’s hip; she was still small enough that Jake could easily hold her with one arm while cooking with the other. She had been whispering small requests to him as her head laid on his shoulder. Together they had made almost every shape, with and without chocolate chips.

The soft tune of country music floats through the kitchen as the pair drift around the room, not quite dancing together but close enough. With every sway, dip, or turn Jake did caused Laine to break out into a fit of giggles, face tucked into Jake’s neck as her small arms wrap around him.

“Jakey?” Her small voice piped up over the music.

“Yeah, Sweetheart.”

Her small face pulls away far enough that it causes Jake to stop cooking and look at her, giving her his full undivided attention. A single curl falls in front of her face, though before she can try and move it, Jake does. It causes a small smile to break out on her face before she then brushes a “fallen” strand of hair off Jake’s face as well.

“Have you ever rode a horse; like the cowboys in the song?”

The question has Jake laughing at the small error in tense, while also not expecting the question but positive that she was going to love his answer.

“I have.” He pauses as Laine bounces in excitement, eyes wide with wonder as she takes in every word he says. “I grew up on a big farm, with lots of horses and chickens and cattle, babies and mommas.”

“I wanna go, can we go?”

Jake catches himself, more than ready to tell her yes. To have his mom and dad meet them both, to see them experience everything he did and more as a child. Though the reality comes crashing in like a bucket of cold water, and he can only whisper a small maybe against the back of her head as he hugs her.

“Sissy?”

The sound of Grayson has Madelaine wiggling and slipping from Jake’s hip to nearly crash into Gray as he rounds the corner. Jake catches the sight of Laine adjusting Gray’s glasses, before muttering a quiet sorry for knocking into him.

Jake’s eye’s float up as he sees you coming to rest against the wall behind the twins, Laine grabs Gray’s hand and pulls him to the table and the pile of purple and blue pancakes.

...

The smile that Jake gives you barely reaches his eyes, as he watches the twins. Your quick to find home behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. You sway gently as your hands hold one another and you place a soft kiss against his shirt between his shoulder blades. The music drifts through the kitchen and has the twins wiggling in their seats as they eat. The morning sun shines through the kitchen window and casts them both is a glowing light that almost feels like a call from the universe.

Jake turns in your hold, ducking down to give you a kiss before you have a chance to ask why it looks like he wants to cry. The round of giggles that break out causes you and Jake to separate, to find both Laine and Gray making kissy faces at you. The pair go back to eating while Jake flips off the stove and leans back on the counter holding you.

“He’s never that expressive,” an overwhelming sigh rolls through your body as you sink farther into Jake’s hold. “not even at the school with just Laine and I.”

Jake hums against the curve of your neck, placing a gentle kiss against it. His voice is barely a whisper against your neck, though you can hear the pain coated words perfectly.

“I forgot for a minute, just before you came in.” It’s your turn to hum, a wordless way of telling him to go on. “Laine asked me if I had ever ridden a horse, and when I told her yes, oh baby, her smile was the sweetest thing I’d even seen.”

“They do have the sweetest smiles.” Your voice holds a lightness that eases the tension in Jake’s shoulders. “I told her about Mom and Dad’s place, and when she said she wanted to go, I damn near promised that we would.”

His voice catches and has you turning your head to look up at him, you place a gentle kiss on his jawline, before whispering a small I know. Neither of you needed to say how much the reality of getting to be with the twins for only the weekend rocked you to your cores. They had only been with you for a night and yet somehow it felt like they had been here forever.

Your hands trace along Jake’s arms, before looking up at the clock. You needed to go to the school prior to heading to base, just to make sure that everyone knew where they were going and to get a head count.

“Alright you two, we need to get dressed so we aren’t late.” You get small nods in reply as they both place their plates in the sink and come to stand in front of you and Jake. Your hand racks through Laine’s hair, the bundle of blonde curls a mess atop her head.

“Come on sweet girl, let’s go fix your hair before we get dressed.” Laine grabs your hand, and you give hers a small squeeze before you head to your bathroom. You glance back as you make your way to the hallway to check on Gray, though Jake’s already got him lifted up as the pair talk.

...

You had done two small buns in Laine’s hair per her request, before doing your own hair and makeup. She was entranced by you as you put on a coat of lipstick, before giving her a smile.

“You’re pretty.”

Your heart swells at her words and the childlike whisper they hold. You gently raise your hand and brush it across her cheek, before delicately booping her nose and earning you a giggle.

“I think you’re pretty.”

Your words have her shyly smiling and cause you to lift her chin, to place a small kiss on the crown of her head. Her hands twist the tulle of her pink skirt; the baby pink is a harsh contrast against the navy-blue shirt she has on. Though she had insisted on wearing it, and you couldn’t say no. Plus you were excited to see Jake’s face when he realized that the shirt, was in fact, the one that he had boughten all those weeks ago. How she had snuck hers and Gray’s shirts into her bag was beyond you, though you didn’t care to question it.

Her legs wiggle on the bathroom counter as you put away the few elastics and hairbrush before you grasp onto her waist and lift her to the ground. Her hand finds yours again, as the pair of you walk out to find Grayson and Jake. You find your way to the smaller second bathroom, where Gray sits on a stool in front of the mirror as Jake combs his hair back.

They don’t notice you for a moment as you stay outside in the hall and quietly listen to Grayson ask questions about Jake’s plane. It's when you hear Jake mention letting Gray sit in the F-18, that Madelaine makes your presence known.

“I wanna sit in it too!”

She gains both of the boy’s attention, while Gray finds you instantly and gives you a small smile. Jake eye's land on Madeline as she does a small spin and the biggest smile breaks across his lips. He helps Gray down from the stool and gives him a small wink that makes Gray giggle as he comes to your side.

Another high-pitched giggle echoes in the small bathroom as Jake lifts Laine and settles her on his hip again. He stares down at her shirt, before placing a kiss on the crown of her head.

“Jakey, you don’t think I look silly? I wanted to dress up,” her hands gently flare out the tule skirt. “but had to wear my plane shirt.”

Jake’s hand comes to brush against the small bows in her hair, causing her to lean farther into him. “You look perfect, my little darlin’.”

He instantly has her perking up, while you feel a small finger poke at the side of your leg and look down to see Gray wiggling his nose before his finger motions for you to come down. You bend down as you give the small boy a smile, as he gets onto his tippy toes to lean closer to your ear.

“Could we maybe ride with Mr. Jake?” He pauses and Jake looks down at you in question, though you patiently wait for Gray to continue.

It’s when you feel his fingers start to twist in your shirt you pull away to look at him. He doesn’t lift his eyes to look at you, but you’re fairly certain you know what’s going on. You twist on the ball of your feet so Gray is standing directly in front of you before you lean in now to whisper to him.

“Are you worried about everyone crowding the planes?”

Your hand had found its way to the side of his face, and the small nod he gives you makes your heart ache. You knew that Gray had severe anxiety and would most likely be attached to you all day. You also knew how excited he was and that he was only trying to find a way that he could see the planes, but not be surrounded with excited children.

“Sweetheart,” Gray stays close to your side as you look up at Jake, who had been listening to Laine talk her little heart out. “Gray would like to know if he and Laine can ride with you to the base?” You would tell Jake about Gray being worried when he wasn’t listening and hope that your eyes are conveying enough information to Jake that he doesn’t question it.

“That what you want, bud?” Gray looks up when he hears Jake and gives him a small smile with a quiet ‘yes please.’ Laine finally slows her babbling about different sea animals, as she realizes that they would now be riding with Jake while you went and got the other kids sorted. Her smile widens immensely as she looks at Jake and gives him a small smirk, replying to Gray for him.

“That’s a great idea, Gray! That way we can keep track of Jakey and make sure that we get to see all the cool stuff, that nobody else sees.”

You stifle a laugh and look at Jake, who looks slightly stunned at the little firecracker in his arms. Gray bounces on his toes lightly, fully agreeing with his sister and no longer caring if Jake says yes.

Jake clears his throat before setting Laine on the ground, “Right you two, go get your bags.” The pair gives you a small smile before they are heading down the hall, chattering excitedly about everything they are going to see. Jake’s hand wraps around your waist and pulls you in. Your hands rest against his chest as Jake places a small kiss on your neck.

“You know she reminds be a lot of this self-assured, slightly cocky pilot I know.” Jake hums in your neck before nipping you, causing you to laugh.

“Just wait till she gets ahold of Chicken.” He pulls away from your neck looking at you with a teasing smirk. “It’s gonna be like a sneak attack, a miniature Hangman to give him hell.”

You pat his chest shaking your head at his and Bradley's never-ending antics against one another. Just last week Bradley had stolen the lunch you packed. It would have been fine, but it was a Wednesday. Meaning that Bradley had not only stolen the taco soup you made Jake, but stolen the brownies you made for his mid-week treat. Jake had been looking for the perfect way to get back at Bradley since.

“Don’t let her rip into him too much, Gray is there to be the counterweight.” You both laugh at that, they truly did even each other out. Jake leans in to kiss you, before pulling away and heading out the find the twins. The three of them congregate at the front door, as Jake double-checks that each of them has their water bottles and bags. You smile at the sight; he might have been a cocky asshole sometimes. But when he loved, he loved hard, and the sight before you was pure Seresin love and pride.

“Alright, darlin’ we will see you in a bit.”

Each of the twins yell goodbye; Laine blows you a kiss, while Gray waves, before Jake ushers them out and down the drive. They could do the smallest things, and yet still steal your heart.

...

The drive to base had been easy enough, each of the kids had gotten buckled in their booster seats without a fuss and Laine had once again requested for control of the music. Jake was not at all surprised when the same playlist that had been playing in the kitchen this morning echoed through the speakers. Letting the little girl wiggle in her seat, as she hummed along, singing a word every now and then if she knew them.

Jake had kept the music low, so he could still talk to the kids and answer any questions they might have. The Laine had asked a few questions along the way, mostly pertaining to who all would be there and if they were nice. Jake had assured her that the team would love them and that you and Jake had already told them about the twins.

Gray on the other hand had really been the chatterbox surprisingly. He had listed off facts that he knew about planes while asking for confirmation every now and then from Jake. Gray might have been on the shy side, but Jake couldn’t have been more thankful for this alone time with him. When it came to planes and anything related to the squadron, Gray lit up and his small shell became practically non-existent.

Jake slows the truck into a parking spot near the main office, while he would usually park closer to the separate building for Top Gun classes, he knew that you would be coming to the front office first. The dagger squad was supposed to be leading the tour, but you wanted to see your dad, as well as double-check with Cyclone that bringing the kids was okay.

Jake turns around in his seat after he puts the truck in park, looking over his two smiling blonde carbon copies. His sunglasses sit on the bridge of his nose and the khaki uniform would have fooled anyone into thinking that today was a normal day. That Jake Seresin was back on base, that Hangman was in his natural habitat and about to school his students in how they couldn’t fly for shit.

But the smile that rested just below the glasses was not the smirk that usually rested on Hangman’s face. No, Jake Seresin had a full-blown smile on his face and looked beyond the part of an excited father that was getting to share an important part of his life with the munchkins he loved.

“We ready?”

Laine gives Jake a strong nod, followed by an even surer ‘yup.’ While Gray gives a smaller ‘yes.’ Jake helps Laine get out of the truck as her eyes flash around the base taking in everything, quietly assessing the few people she sees walking around while staying safely next to Jake. Before Jake can help Gray down, he stops him, hands sitting on Gray’s small waist trying to gauge how he was feeling. You had texted Jake on the drive and he had quickly read the message just after parking.  

His heart ached for the small boy as your words echoed in his mind, “If he needs to, just let him cling onto your leg. He’ll ground himself but just needs support. He hasn’t had a panic attack lately, but he usually can calm down with deep breathing and eye contact. Also, try not to let Laine see if he has one, it sends her into her own spiral of worry.” 

“Bud,” His icy blue eyes find Jake’s green ones, timid and worried. “you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’ll be with you the whole time.” Gray’s eyes soften as he stares at Jake, silently assessing if he could actually trust Jake. Jake gives him a small smile, which causes Gray to return one before giving Jake a nod. Jake lifts him from the truck placing Gray at his side, before locking the truck.

Laine grabs one of Jake’s hands, while Grayson takes the other and Jake gives him a small squeeze which earns a smile. Jake’s eyes then find the small spitfire that holds his hand in a death grip, tightening her small hand every time she got excited.

“Darin’ what did we talk about on the way here?” Jake’s tone is teasing and the sneaky smile the Madelaine gives looks like pure trouble.

“That mustache man’s name is Rooster, but I get to call him Chicken.” Jake gives her a look that is silently saying ‘and?’ “and if anyone asks, 'specially Ms. CeeCee, I did not hear it from you.”

A self-assured smirk rests on Jake’s face, and he gives her a quick wink followed by a “that’s my girl.”

Her hand tightens around Jake’s and a smile breaks across her face at the words. She follows his actions with her own, a small wink is aimed back at Jake that fills him with pride, as well as a tiny bit of excitement. He couldn’t help it if the prospect of having a mini hangman around caused him to make sure that trouble ensued.

The three of them cut across the lawn, making their way inside to find the rest of the squadron. Jake knew that you wouldn’t get here until 9:30 or so, depending on how bad the traffic was. Madelaine bounces up the front steps, while Gray remains by Jake’s side and quietly looks at everything. There weren’t main people in the main build, hell the group never usually hung out in the “main” rec room, but instead made the one in the west wing their designated spot.

Jake watches as Laine jitters in excitement, stopping when they walk through the doors and trying to contain her excitement. Jake laughs at the small girl and while he wouldn’t normal do what he was about to, there wasn’t anyone around at for her to upset.

“Darlin’?”

The name instantly has her beaming at Jake, waiting for him to talk.

“You see that glass door all the way at the end of the hall?” She looks to where Jake is pointing, causing Gray to peek around from Jake’s leg to look as well. “Chicken should be down in that room, why don’t you go say hi. Gray and I will be down in just a minute.”

The words leave Jake’s mouth and without a reply she takes off down the hall, making sure not to run, even though she clearly wants to. Jake eyes watch as she gets to the door and goes in, before turning to Gray who is still holding Jake’s hand but has pulled away just a bit to look through the glass cases lining the walls.

Jake slides up behind him, before crouching down to talk to the little blue eyed blonde. Jake doesn’t say anything as he lets Gray look, seeing the way his eyes squint, before leaning up closer to glass. When Gray turns back around to look at Jake, the small boy gives him a smile before adjusting his glasses.

“It’s an F-14.” It’s not a question but a statement and has Jake leaning closer to the case to see the picture that Grayson was in fact talking about. A wide smile and laugh falls from Jake as his arms wrap around Gray to hold close, before picking him up.

“What other one’s can you see?”

A mirroring smile breaks out on Grayson’s face as Jake moves with him to another photo. Each answer has Jake’s heart filling with pride as he looks at the small boy is astonishment and wonder. Slowly they make their way around the case, Gray sits on Jake’s hip with one arm holding onto Jake’s neck. A small smile breaks across his face every time that Jake praises him.

“That’s Ms. CeeCee’s daddy.”

Jake stops to look at the picture Gray is pointing at, to find the one of Maverick and Commander Kazansky. He pulls back even more astonished, “How’d you know that, bud?”

“Ms. CeeCee has that picture on her desk; she told me.” 

Before Jake can reply, the sound of a squeal followed by laughter has Jake setting Gray down after he tells him that they could look again later. Gray's hand fits perfectly in Jake's as the small boy gives him a chipper okay before heading to the rec room.

...

It was too early, it might have been 8:30 in the morning, which was not early at all. But for a day that they had off, none of them wanted to get up. They technically didn’t officially have the day off, but they were only supposed to be showing your group of kindergartens around.

Which they were all very excited about, but Rooster had made it known to everyone that you should have planned for later in the morning. The occasional muttered words of you being a little shit and that you purely picked the time because you were a terror of a little sister, had the group laughing. Enjoying the show of his discontent, while his head hung off the side of the couch.

Honestly, Rooster was the only one complaining. The morning was not going in his favor, not at all like the way he had planned when he woke up this morning.

You see, Rooster had a coffee shop that he got coffee from every single morning, like religiously. Not only was the coffee good, but there was a barista that Rooster had a crush on and per Phoenix's advice, Rooster had decided to try and get her number.

After pinning away at the poor girl for 3 months he was finally gonna make a move. Said plan had gone to absolute shit, he had ordered his regular order, and everything was fine. It was a normal morning, his hair looked good and he had a little bit of pep in his step.

The plan to simply ask her out when he was getting his coffee from her was solid. He had planned what he would say, planned how to ask for her number, and even thought of a few dumb jokes that might have gotten her to laugh. Though after she had handed him his coffee he completely froze; his mind had become a vast land of waste.

She had given him the sweetest smile and her voice was so light and sweet, that he had completely frozen. The only words that made it past his lips were, a word that slightly sounded like a slurred ‘you’re’ followed by ‘pretty.’

She gave him a small giggle and smile, as Rooster’s face had gone completely red. He'd gotten her to laugh, just at his own idiotic expense. Before she could say anything, he had hightailed it out of the door.

Leaving him to now, surrounded by the team as each of them poked fun at him. Phoenix had known that today was the day and asked about it first thing when she saw him. The shade of red that once again cover his face, told the squad all that they needed to know. It was out of love, Rooster knew that but how had he gone from a sweet-talking ladies’ man to barely being able to speak. He couldn't believe it and the squad made sure to place they comment of how to fix it, if he ever got the nerve to show his face to her again.

So, when a small little blonde girl with bows in her hair and a bright pink tutu looking skirt, showed up in the room everyone had instantly stopped what they were doing.

Madelaine wasn’t a shy child; no, she was more so the child that everyone knew was coming. She wasn’t a bad child, but she did have a lot of energy and the confidence of a grown man. A bull in a China hut as Jake's mother liked to call it. Explaining to you when you first met them, that when you had children to be prepared for miniature Seresins.

Laine's eyes moved around the room slowly, looking at each of them. Coyote had seen a picture of the twins that you had on your phone and knew who she was, but everyone else didn’t have clue. Sure, you and Jake talked about them, but no one had ever seen them.

No one says anything as she looks around, finding Phoenix, and giving her a massive smile. She then finds Bob, sitting quietly next to Phoenix and the small tilt of Laine’s head while she looks at Bob causes him to worry slightly. Bob’s eyes flash to Phoenix as the small girl starts walking toward him, how had such a small human have the presence of a grown man with a massive ego. Like Hangman size ego.

“My bubba has glasses like you.”

No one had been prepaid for how soft and gentle her voice was, taking that into consideration made her extremely less intimidating.

“Oh yeah?”

She gives Bob a small ‘yep’ before looking around the room. The sight of Rooster laying back on the couch, just barely paying attention to the small girl, has a massive smile breaking across her face. She slowly moves closer to Rooster, acting as if she didn't want to spook him away. Her tiny form comes to stand over the man as he lies on the couch, assessing the way his eyes move to meet her own. Her eyebrow cocks slightly in consideration before she spins around to look back at Bob.

“He the only one with a mustache?”

The question confuses the whole group as they all watch, eyes bouncing off one another in question. Where had she come from, and if she was one of your students, why weren’t you with her. Bob nods in confirmation and the wide smile that breaks across her face has him smiling in return. Phoenix and Bob share a look as Laine looks between the pair, giving them another smile that makes her look as sweet as honey, before turning around to find Rooster.

He had sat up when she had asked Bob the question and now as she stares at him, he’s unsure of what to do. That is until her small hand juts out to Rooster, clearly looking for a handshake. Rooster grasps her small hand skeptically, unsure of what the hell is going on.

“I’m Madelaine, it’s nice to meet you, Chicken.”

The words that leave her lips have his mouth dropping open, while a round of laughter breaks out around him. The reaction has Laine laughing too before she gives Rooster another smile. Slapping on the sweet and innocent act hard now.

“Sweetheart, who are you here with?” Phoenix seems to be the only one that can calm her laughter, the sight of a small girl wandering around the base had her worried and anxious about why such a small child would be alone.

Though before she can answer, Jake and Gray make their way into the room.

“Jakey, I met Chicken.”

The whole room turns to see a beaming Jake Seresin, holding the hand of a little boy. Though he drops his hand for a moment, as Laine runs to him to be picked up. Her arms wrap around his neck before he places a kiss on the crown of her head and takes hold of Gray’s hand that had grasped onto his belt for the moment.

The sight in front of them causes the whole room to pause momentarily, when had Hangman become a father. Because looking at the set of three and how they shared almost every physical feature, other than eye color, it appeared like you and Jake had children that you had been hiding for five years.

The sight doesn’t faze Javy as he’s the first one to make his way over and officially meet the twins. Laine gives Javy a big smile, while Gray remains glued to Jake, only giving Javy a small wave. Jake runs a hand through Grayson’s hair, comforting the small boy, who was clearly overwhelmed given the current circumstances.

“Alright, I guess we better do introductions. I’ve got promises to fulfill before Y/n gets here.”

Gray pops up at the mention of getting to see the planes, while Laine is already buzzing with excitement.

“This is Miss Madelaine," The small girl lifts her head from its resting place in the crook of Jake's neck to smile at the surrounding group. "and this is my new wingman Grayson.” Gray's eyes flitter around the room, not holding contact with anyone before looking back up at Jake.

Jake winks down at Gray who smiles brightly at him, happy to have the show of care and love. Everyone comes forward for introductions, each of them excited to meet the children that had consumed your and Jake’s life. 

Phoenix can’t seem to get enough of them, especially Grayson who can’t stop smiling at the pilot as she talks to him. Jake watches as she tells Gray something, before taking him to talk to Bob. Bob's mention of his glasses has Grayson smiling bigger than any of the other pilots had gotten him too.

Laine teases Rooster again as she rests in Jake's hold, though blushes and hides in Jake’s neck when he teases her back. Though Payback and Fanboy gain Laine’s attention at the mention of going to the beach. She is quick to wiggle down from Jake's hold and rush over to the couch with the two pilots. The pair ask her if she likes the ocean and cause her to go on a tangent about the sea.

...

“No, really! Dolphins are the meanies of the ocean, look it up.”

Her hands rest on her hips as she says it, waiting for Fanboy to check and smiling triumphantly when he reads an article about it. Jake shakes his head at the girl, looking at Gray who had found his way back to Jake’s side after talking to Bob.

“You ready to go, Bud?” Jake’s hand brushes a piece of gelled hair back from Gray’s face, and though he doesn’t realize it, the whole room watches in shock at how loving and gentle Jake is with the boy.

“Yes, please. Bob said he’s a weapons system operator, can he come with us? He said he would show me his controls.”

Jake nods as he sends Grayson to go tell Bob to come on. His heart swells as he watches Gray happily run to Bob across the room. This was the most public interaction that he had seen from the small boy and though Jake hadn’t been around them a lot before, you had told him how shy Gray was in public.

“Little darlin’?” Laine spins around happily when Jake calls her, leaving her lesson about the ocean with Fanboy to listen to Jake. “Wanna go see my plane?”

“And sit in it?”

“That’s what I promised, wasn’t it?”

Jake’s tone is teasing and has Laine running from the couch over to Jake after telling Payback and Fanboy that she would tell them more later. Grayson and Bob appear still talking about different planes, though he doesn’t reach out to grab Jake’s hand. Gray checks to make sure that Jake is by him, making eye contact as a silent confirmation that Jake wasn’t leaving him, before focusing back on Bob.

“We got about 45 minutes until y/n gets here and I promised these two that they could see the planes early. So, if you wanna come, lets go.”

Laine is the first one slipping from the rec room, hand attached to Jake’s as she looks around. Bob and Gray had found a safe pace right behind Jake, staying close but also allowing Gray a baby step toward space if he wanted. Jake hadn’t expected each of the pilots to get up and head to the hangar with him, to be honest, though if it was him in their place he would have come too.

Gray hadn’t stopped talking about the different planes and unbeknownst to him, the small boy had now gained the attention of all the pilots. Javy had made it to the front of the group to walk with Jake and Laine. Not expecting the spitfire to grasp onto his hand, but gladly accepts her hold. Though Javy quickly learns that Laine always seems to have ulterior motives, as she bats her eyelashes and sweetly asks if he and Jakey would swing her. A laugh falls from both Jake and Javy as the pair look at each other, before Jake silently shrugs his shoulders. Looking back at the small girl; the smile on her face was one that he couldn’t tell no.

And so, with every couple of steps, Jake and Javy had Madelaine swinging up off the ground. The small squeals of delight gain the attention of the few younger pilots that Jake recognized as students.  Though no one in the squad pays them any mind, solely focusing on the two small bundles of joy.

...

Rooster and Phoenix walk slightly slower than the group, still a part of it but back far enough that they could talk just between the pair of them. The sight of Hangman and Coyote swinging Madelaine doesn’t go unnoticed, as well as the small glances back that Hangman makes every so often to check on Gray.

“Are you seeing this?” Roosters tone is skeptical, he surely wouldn’t believe what was occurring right in front of him if he wasn’t witnessing it.

“I know, I can’t believe how much Gray knows about planes.”

Rooster all but stops in his tracks as he deadpans at Phoenix, mouth open and closing slightly, gapping like a fish. Phoenix hadn’t even noticed Rooster's harsh stop, too focused on listening to Gray list off statistics from a P-41, though the over-exaggerated hand movement finally gets her attention.

“No, Nat! I mean Hangman; when has he ever smiled as much as he is?”

“He smiles like that with Y/n.”

A frustrated huff leaves Rooster's chest and he can’t seem to figure out why no one else can see what he sees. That Hangman had turned into a gummy bear and more than he normally was with you. They looked like mini Sereins and Jake treated them like they were his. Hell, Madelaine was a damn copy of the cocky pilot all the way down to her attitude.

Phoenix notices Rooster’s baffled face and slows slightly, causing the group to separate from them further. Her lips form into a harsh line, as she raises her eyebrow slightly at Rooster, though the pilot seems to not have a clue about what he did wrong.

“I know that we give Jake a hard time, we all throw jokes, but don’t question this.” Rooster’s eyes flick toward the group and then back at Phoenix. “We all know how long they’ve been trying Roo; if this is what Y/n and Jake need then we support them. If this somehow turns into something more, we support them.”

The mention of you and Jake struggling with infertility has the smile on Rooster’s face dropping as he gives Phoenix a solum nod in understanding. Rooster had been a major person that you and Jake leaned on throughout it.

It had only happened a couple times with Jake while on base, and Rooster hadn’t heisted in taking over the class and letting Jake have a few moments. For you, Rooster had seen the sobs wreak havoc through your body and felt the hopelessness of only being able to hold you. He was your big brother and seeing you so broken, without a way to help, killed him.

The pair of them catch up to the group easily, as they had stopped to let the twins look at a jet taking off from the runway in the distance. Grayson was mesmerized and hadn’t taken his off of it till he could no longer see the plane. Madelaine had somehow landed back in Jake’s arms, as he pointed out on the horizon.

The sound of a small ‘wow’ gains Jake’s attention and has him looking down at Gray, who is already staring back at him.

“I wanna do that someday.”

Gray grabs back onto Jake’s free hand as he looks back out to see if any other jets were taking off. Though Jake’s eyes can’t seem to leave the small boy. Jake knew that Gray loved planes; but to see him look up at Jake and tell him those exact words that he had muttered to his father at such a young age, caused his eyes to gloss over and promise himself that he would do anything in his power to make sure Gray’s dream came true.

...

“How do I look?” The words are muffled behind the mask as Laine’s head sways slightly under the weight of Jake’s helmet. Her small form looks even smaller sitting in the cockpit of Jake’s plane and Jake can’t but want to talk a picture.

“You look perfect, darlin’. Smile for me, Ms. CeeCee is gonna want to see this.”

A giggle breaks from her chest as the widest smile covers her face. The round of giggle’s that breaks from her chest has Phoenix and Coyote laughing, even more so when she pokes her tongue out at Jake for a “funny pose.”

“Come on sweetpea, it’s time to let Gray have a turn.”

Jake unclips the side of the mask from his helmet, before moving to lift Madelaine out of the seat. One of her arms wrap around Jake’s neck, while the other holds his helmet secure on her head still. Jake sets her down on the steps, watching as Coyote takes her small hand and helps her down. Once safely on the ground Jake’s eyes flash up to look for Gray, though neither him nor Bob are anywhere in sight.

Jake chuckles as he makes his way down the steps, already positive that they’re in the second hangar where Phoenix and Bob’s jet resides. Both Fanboy and Payback had gone missing as well, no doubt with Gray as they couldn’t seem to hear enough about the different facts he knew.

“Gray and the boys went to our hanger.” Jake nods along to Phoenix, looking out to find Laine chasing Rooster.

“I figured,” Jake's helmet sways with every turn Laine makes, though she doesn’t falterer as she tries to ware Rooster down. “Little darlin’, come on we're going to go find bubba.”

Both Rooster and Madelaine stop to listen to Jake, while Rooster seems plenty happy to no longer be running, a small pout forms on Laine’s lips as she looks back up at Rooster.

“Chicken,” The name makes Rooster laugh, before lowering down to the small girl. Her voice lowers, so much so that he can barely hear her. “can I have a piggyback ride?”

Rooster’s smile falters momentarily, not liking how she looks down and the drop of her voice in worry. Rooster is gentle as he tips back Laine’s chin, the small frown residing on her face melts away when Rooster gives her a massive smile.

“Of course, you can.” His hand reaches out and tickles at Laine, causing another round of giggles accompanied by a full smile to break out. “Who am I to deny the princess.”

Jake silently watches as Rooster slowly gets Madelaine to open up, his chest tightening at the pair. She hadn’t told Jake anything when she had climbed into bed with him this morning, her small whimpering form had woken him up as she sat quietly at the side of the bed clutching the blanket you picked out for them.

The tears streaming down her face felt like a punch to the gut and when Jake opened his arms for her, she was instantly up and falling into them. Quiet shush’s and humming had calmed her and had her asleep in no time.

He didn’t know everything that the twins had been through, there was only so much that you could tell him when you weren’t positive of what all the twins had been through yourself. But after last night, Jake knew that letting Janice and Ed take them back at the end of the week was going to be one of the hardest things he would go through.

How could Jake willingly let two children go back into a house that he wasn’t even sure was safe? Not taking into account what the twins had shown or said, Jake wouldn’t have liked or approved of the foster parents anyway. He knew the moment that they came in to sign the paperwork this week, that they weren’t housing the kids out of love.

The small nudge against Jake’s shoulder has him leaving Rooster and Laine, to find a worried Phoenix looking at him. You and Phoenix were close and talked about everything under the sun, though he wasn’t sure what all you had told her. And he, well he only ever told Javy and Rooster sometimes, what was bothering him. More often than not he told Javy or just waited until he could talk to you.

You were Jake’s safe place, you understood and loved him when everyone else only saw him as an asshole. You knew the real Jake, the one that was vulnerable and worried that he wasn’t enough. That somehow, in some way he would disappoint you and his parents.

“You, okay?” the question rings out and causes Jake to question if he wanted to venture down that spiral right now.

“All good Phe, just trying to figure out some stuff.”

She gives him an apprehensive smile, though doesn’t prod, and follows him out to find the boys in the second hanger. Laine bounces with each step Rooster takes on his shoulders with Jake's helmet still sitting upon her head. It doesn’t take long for Laine to reach out for Jake as he gets closer, wanting to be back in his arms. The small girl slips from Rooster’s hold, and down into Jake’s awaiting arms. Jake's hand rubs gently at Laine’s back as she tightens her hold on his neck and nuzzles in deeper.

...

Jake slips his phone from his pocket to see a message from you, stating that you were 15 minutes away and asking how the twins were fairing. He quickly types back a response, before finding Gray up in Phoenix and Bob's plane, the others crowding around the base listening to Gray ask questions about the different parts that Bob knows like the back of his hand.

Laine wiggles in his hold, before quietly whispering in Jake’s ear that she would like to go see where Phoenix flies. Jake sets the small girl down and watches as she makes a beeline for the group. Fanboy helps her up the stairs and the pair giggle together, giving Bob wide smiles as he takes a picture of them.

Jake stays back, quietly watching the squadron accept the twins like they had been born into the group. Jake sees Bob pocket his phone after taking a few more pictures. Jakes calls out to him, telling Bob that he would appreciate it if he would send him the pictures. Jake gets a thumbs up, though isn’t looking at Bob long because the sight of the twins peeking over the side of the cockpit with their tongues out has him smiling.

Rooster comes to stand beside Jake, as Bob helps the twins get out and to the ground. Jake’s eyes leave the pair to look at Rooster, who still hasn’t taken his eyes off the twins.

“So, these two going to be making me an uncle?”  Rooster says it with a laugh, making sure that Jake knows that he is open to anything and doesn’t hold any contempt toward this newfound possibility of Jake and your growing family.

“I don’t know, and I can’t get mine or y/n hopes up.” A deep sigh falls from Jake's lips that finally causes Rooster to look at him. “But I know that whatever happens, I won’t be letting go of them unless it’s for a situation that would be better and more loving than what we can give them.”

“I’m guessing you’re referring to their current situation, that Javy mentioned?”

Jake’s jaw clenches at the mention of Janice and Ed. The pain of not knowing what exactly is going on but knowing that it’s enough to cause the twins to show signs of at least emotional abuse, if not more. If he found out that it ever was more, Jake wasn’t sure if there would be anyone that could stop him from settling up on behalf of the twins.

The chatter coming from the runway gains Rooster’s and Jake’s attention to see you with Mav and a group of children and a few parents. The chatter gains the twin's attention and has them setting off for you, in squeals of delight while still wearing Jake and Bob’s helmets.

The sight of you dropping to your knees to hug the pair makes Rooster’s breath catch. He watches you introduce the pair to Mav, who immediately lifts a smiling Madelaine as she talks about her helmet. Gray settles at your side, holding onto your belt loop as you introduce the group of pilots that make their way over.

“Guess that settles it.” Rooster’s voice is warm but holds a harsh tone that gains back Jake’s attention.

“Of course, sir. Two days will be more than enough time to draft up three or four, and I will have a handful more done by next Monday.” You trail off as your phone starts buzzing again.

Pausing to grab it while Cyclone and Warlock keep chatting, you realize that it’s Mathews school calling. Raising your hand in a silent gesture, you glance up and ask if you can be excused for a moment. To which Cyclone nods, signaling to the hallway.

Rising up, you not so slowly, make your way to the door and press answer. Miss Clarks voice rings through your phone, telling you once again that Mathew has been called to the office.

“Miss Benjamin, you need to come in. Principle Davis wants to talk to you immediately. Mathew is fine, though he has been placed in the corner and will not be allowed recess time.” She mutters harshly.

You slowly shake your head and lean up against the wall, “What happened?” you question. Waiting for a response that doesn’t come. “I know that Mathew is not the only child at fault here. So, I’m going to ask again, what happened?”

You know that your sweet Mathew would never hurt someone without probably cause, and even then, it’s unlikely. Though this is the first call you’ve received from the school, you’ve been in three other times for words with the principal. Discussing another upper-class student that had been picking on Mathew.

The same excuse being thrown in your face that, none of the teachers saw the bullying and that Mathew was lying. Though the last time, Mathew told you that the other boy had pushed him and scrapped his knees. Markings on his knees, you saw during bath time, that night confirmed that he had been pushed.

Each visit you had, the school ignored you and claimed you to be an overprotective mother.

“Mathew hit another boy, Miss Benjamin.”

The statement shocks you at first, but then you question why Mathew hit him.

“Well Mathew says that he was hit first, but no one saw it.”

“You’re telling me, that my son was hit, then defended himself, and you didn’t think to lead the conversation with that information.”

Pushing off the wall you start to make your way to your office. “I will be there in 20 minutes.” Grabbing your purse, leaving the paperwork knowing that you will be coming back to the office enviably.

“Also, Miss Clark,” your voice steadily rises. “Get my child out of the damn corner.” You all but yell before hanging up on the woman.

Stepping out of your office and running into Lt. Bradshaw, you bounce off him. He grabs your arms steadying you, as you apologize.

 “You okay there, Y/N” He questions quickly realizing how stressed you are.

You can feel the frustration seeping from your bones, tears lining your eyes. Working to steady your breathing, in any possible way to avoid crying.

A quick smile, that is in no way real, paints your lips, “Yes Bradley, I just need to go the Maty’s school.” Checking your purse, you make sure that you have your keys. “Can you do me a favor though?” Glancing up you see him intently listening, as if they would be orders from Commander Kazansky himself.

“I’m bringing Maty back here, I’ve got paperwork to finish, but I need someone to watch the munchkin.”

You pick at your nails, hating that you would have to ask for help. Though Amelia is still in class and Penny was deep cleaning the Hard Deck, so you had no one to ask.

“I know you guys are probably really busy, but could he hang out with you and Jake for a bit. He loves Uncle Roos, and I think that after today, getting to see the planes would cheer him up.” You add quietly that you understand if not, that you would figure it out.

“Y/N/N of course, I’m always available to hang with the little man. I’m free for the rest of the day actual.” He looks down sheepishly, “I was coming to tell you that a few of the plane’s radars were messing up, and that we would be down for a couple days.”

Taking a deep breathe, adding one more thing to your to-do list. You know that plane electronics can’t be helped, and that it should be a relatively easy fix. It just feels like so much more, added to your near melting brain.

You tell him that you’ll handle it, while walking together towards Cyclones office. Stepping in to get the two admirals’ attention, you let them know that you are taking your lunch now and will be back before one. They assure you that you are fine and that they trust you to get your job done, without them hounding on you.

Going to leave, Bradley follows you out. You head for your car, while he heads towards the east hanger. Though before he gets too far you, call back to him.

“B… Don’t tell Jake I was crying. Please… I don’t want to bother him.” You hold your hand up, blocking the glare of the sun on your face. “It was silly of me to cry anyway.”

The look he gives you clearly shows that he wants to comment on you saying that your emotions are silly, but he just nods an okay.

“Thanks B.” Thankful that he understands, you turn as he waves goodbye. Climbing in your car, for the 15-minute drive to Mathew’s school that will inevitably end in tears and a migraine.

Pulling up to the school, you wipe at your eyes. Trying to get the redness to go away, or at least look like you haven’t spent the last 15 minutes anger crying. The puffiness of your cheeks is a dead given away that something is wrong, though you hope that its subtle enough that Mathew won’t notice.

Your sweet baby was the most empathic and observant child you had even seen. A blessing and a curse to you both. In one way he was kind and loving and yet in another, much less helpful way, he noticed when anything hurt or upset you. Slowly becoming the protector of his momma, and carrying a load on his shoulders far heavier than any five-year-old should.

He was the light of your life and the only good thing that your ex gave you. Though you’d taken to claiming that your ex had no part in making Mathew. He was too kind to have any part of your ex in his DNA.

You were just thankful that he was the spitting image of you, and hadn’t been around his “father” long enough to pick up any traits. With your Y/H/C and the exact shade of skin tone, there was no denying he was your mini-me.

His eyes though, oddly enough were the exact same shade of green as Jakes. Something that everyone in your life liked to point out. Often making comments, that if they hadn’t known you like they did, “They would assume that Jake was the father.”

A thought that you wished had been true. Jake was wonderful with Mathew, and an amazing role model for him. Though you had only been official together for five months, Jake was always working to show you how much you both meant to him.

That alone was a hard enough concept to understand, when the only relationship you’d ever been in was the complete opposite.

Your ex-Adam had ruined your views on relationships, the five years you were together were some of the hardest you’d ever been through. Finally getting out just before Mathew turned three.

Adam had gotten handsy with you in front of Mathew, had pushed you to your breaking point and left you on the floor like an empty husk.

You still hate yourself for that night, because of you Mathew was in therapy once a week with nightmares. Recounting memories, that a then 2-and-a-half-year-old, shouldn’t remember.

It was your biggest regret, letting him see everything that happened.

The experience wasn’t something you talked about, finding that therapy only made it worse. Pushing the memories away and burying it in a hidden chest, at the back of your mind.

Gathering your purse, you move to get out of the car.

When you notice a missed call and text from Jake, “Hey darlin’ missing you. Rooster said you were picking up Maty early, everything okay?”

You quickly type back, that you just got to the school and would text him when you were back on base. Adding that you missed him as well, which caused a small smile to cross your lips.

Walking into the front doors, you immediately head to the office. Giving yourself a mini pep-talk in preparation for Principal Davis, and his ever-sexist comments.

Your eyes immediately go to Miss. Clark, who wears the lowest cut shirt that you’ve ever seen in an elementary school. Her head pops up from typing, as she hears the low click of your heels on the tile.

Your gaze is cast upon her, one that should put her 6-feet under.

“Where is Mathew?” You question, a harsh bite in your tone.

To which she studders out that they placed him in an extra room and told him to stay. The action should surprise you, but you’ve learned that this school clearly has lower morals and standards.

You walk straight passed her desk, without another word and push into the extra room. If it could even be called that, only the size of a “oversized” closet at best. The temperature change doesn’t go unnoticed.

There you see Maty, head resting on a table, as tiny shudders rack through his body. Rushing to his side, you softly go to cradle his small body. Falling to the floor on your knees, as a soft Momma falls from his lips.

Gently “shh”ing and rocking his body back and forth, like you did when he was a baby.  As he quiets down you look into his tear-stained face, and your heart breaks a bit more.

“Sweet bubba, it’s okay. I got you, it’s okay.” His tears slowly turn into gentle whimpers.

Not wanting to upset him anymore, but knowing that you have to ask him questions before you see Davis.

“Darling, what happened? Are you hurt?” your eyes gently rank over his form, noticing how he hold his tummy.

“They belly flopped me momma.”

Your questioning gaze is enough that Mathew pulls up his shirt and you see a bright red mark across his belly. Anger seeps from you and your struggle to hid it behind a smile. Not wanting him to see how upset you are.

Rising up you grab his backpack and carry Mathew out into the main office.

Your voice snaps across the office, stilling Miss Clarks typing fingers.

“Miss Clark, I am going to be checking Mathew out. I am also going to have a few words with Principal Davis, and I suggest you take Mathew out into the hallway to look at the new mural being painted.” Your tone leaves no room for suggestion.

You set Maty down and give him a little wink, pushing him to hallway as Miss Clark follows. You turn sharply and stare straight at the closed door that hasn’t moved once since you’d arrived. Pacing to the door you knock and walk in without waiting for an answer. If he wants to lack human decency with your child, then you can do the same.

Your sudden entrance startles the middle-aged man, jolting him from his chair and the nap he seemed to be taking.

His lingering eyes rake up and down your form, as a sleazy smile forms on his face. The look makes you shudder, awaking distant memories and feelings.

He gets up to make a move for you, “Miss Benjamin, I’m glad you could make it. Please sit.”

You state that you’d rather stand, though he doesn’t listen and makes a motion for you. His hand moves to your lower back, in an unwelcomed gesture. Brushing his hand off, you glare at the hand.

“You see Miss Benjamin, Mathew is a troubled boy and needs handled.”

The word “handled” makes your skin crawl as you listen.

“He doesn’t listen and clearly has no male role model, from the ringless finger I can see.” You bite your tongue as he moves to sit on his desk, directly in front of you.

“Now I think that we,” he motions to the both of you, “can work on this. Fix his attitude and make him into a child, someone would actually want. One that not picking fights for attention, especially ones with older children he can’t beat.” He finishes with a chuckle.

The steam must be rising from you, the anger that is completely incasing your body feels like you might set the whole world on fire.

As you rise from your chair, words laced with venom drip from your tongue ready to kill, meteorically and literally.

“You have no right to comment on my child and how he is raised. I think it best if you step off your damn high horse, before I knock you off it.” Your finger jabs at his chest. “You should be damn happy I’m not reporting you to the school board, for neglect and harassment.”

You stand up, ready to be out of his presence.

“Mathew will be pulled from the school; I’m absolutely done with you and everyone in this school.” Pulling the door open you look back at him, “If anything comes from the assault done to my son’s stomach, whether it be lasting pain or marks….. I will, fucking ruin you.”

With that you leave, shaking at the audacity of the man. How he touched you, insinuated that Mathew needed fixed, and most of all the absolute lack of care, that he should have had for both children in the situation.

The other child that Mathew hit was nowhere in sight and clearly didn’t get in trouble. You know that hitting isn’t the answer, but Mathew was defending himself against a bigger child. This whole situation was handled poorly, as it has been every other time you’ve came in for bullying. This was the final straw and you’re done.

You gasp as you make your way to grab Mathew from Miss Clark, barely able to keep the tears at bay. Gently buckling Maty up into his car seat, you place a kiss on his forehead as he wipes a tear from your cheek.

“Don’t be sad momma.”

You mutter an I love you and climb back into your seat, ready to never see that school again.

Your tears don’t go unnoticed by the three men as you pull back up to your office. Jake, Robert, and Bradley all exchange looks as you park and get out of the car. You avoid their gazes as you get Mathew out of the car.

“Uncle Roo, can we look at the planes?” Mathew yells to the men as he notices them, a massive smile forming, and his horrible day forgotten.

“Yeah buddy, all the planes. Bob even said he’d let you be Nat’s new WSO.” Bradley laughs and then gives a knowing look to Jake.

“Your Momma and Jake are gonna go pack up her work for the day, then get you a bag ready to have a sleep over with me.”

You go to comment, but Jake steps forward. Wrapping his arm around your waist, “Cyclone already knows darlin’. You and me are gonna work on flight plans at home, then have a nice relaxing night.” He finishes with a loving kiss on your cheek, that you can’t help but to lean into.

Your body relaxes in his embrace, dropping your shoulders you lean father into his touch. Craving it like a warm blanket, that you unwillingly want to admit, you need.

Mathew is bouncing at the thought of a sleepover and asks Bob if he is coming too, to which he replies of course. The trio goes to turn away, though not before Maty comes rushes back, giving you and Jake hugs.

“Love you momma. Love you Jake.” He says it so childlike that you can’t help, and be a tad envious. Jake quickly lifts Mathew and gives him tickle, telling him to listen to his uncles. Before setting him down and brushing a kiss onto the top of his head.

“I love you too, buddy.”

You watch as Maty walks off, relaxing knowing that he is feeling better and knowing that if he showed the slightest sign of discomfort Bradley would call. You rest your head gently against Jake’s chest, taking a few deep breathes and silently hold yourself together.

His arm slips from your waist, up to cradle the side of your face making you look into his eyes. A green so deep that you could get lost in, if you only let yourself.

“Darlin’”

You quietly shake your head in protest, knowing that it he asks you might break down.

The tears built around the edge of your eyes, and you quickly cast your face down. Unwilling to let him see you break.

 To be another hassle in his life.

A mess, that he would realize wasn’t worth the work.

Though he gently kisses your forehead, letting you be for now and pulls you towards the building.

Hands clasped tightly together, like he’s afraid to lose you through the cracks within your broken heart.

Jake stays by your side as you make your way through the building and to your office. Only letting go of your hand, so that you can grab your laptop and paperwork. You slowly pack everything that you need into a tote, your movements lagging.

Feeling completely drained and over the day. You can feel yourself pulling back into a shell, unsure how to function with another person right now.

You weren’t used to people helping when you had a hard day, or break down. Only that you weren’t supposed to show your emotions, because if you did it would end so much worse.

A screaming match, about how inconsiderate it was that you let your mood seep into other people’s lives. That if you could just fucking smile for once, then maybe people would like you.

The thought makes you look to Jake and give him a fake smile, in hopes that he doesn’t realize how much it hurts.

He notices but doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a reassuring kiss on the cheek and takes the tote from you, to carry out to the car.

“Where are your keys darlin’?”

He questions, replying before you can protest.

“I want to drive sweets, okay. I want to take care of you.”

Worry clouds your brain, but you’re too tired to make a fuss.

“Thank you” you say as you place them in his out reached hand.

“Always baby.” He states it so matter a factly that your heart flutters. The wink that follows, makes it skip a beat.

The drive home is fast, your wandering mind lost in thought. Jakes hand rests steady against your thigh, a gently rubbing motion to sooth you.

Walking up into your quaint little beach house, the final bit of anxiety leaves your body. Finding comfort in being home, in your safe space. Jake silently follows you up the steps and locks the door once you’re both inside.

Your body’s frozen; you stand quietly in the hallway, unsure of what to do. Jakes comes up to rest behind you, carefully wrapping you in his arms. Afraid that the slightest touch will send you spiraling.

“Why don’t you go take a nice shower sweets? Relax, decompress and I will make you some tea for after your done.”

You squeeze his hands in a silent thank you and head to the bathroom.

Your face looks tired and broken, and as you stare at your reflection, those tears that you worked so hard to hold in fall. You switch on the shower, to silence the sobs that are wreaking havoc upon your mind and body.

You shed your clothes and step into the burning water, in hopes to erase the feeling of Davis’ hands on you.

Memories of past and present blend together, making it difficult to ground yourself, to know that you’re safe.

Davis’ hand, becomes HIS hands on you. A ringing in your ears echoes a distant memory of the screams that were ripped from your body.

The incident today, shattered your tough girl façade. The box that you worked so hard to bury, ripped up, meant to consume everything in its path.

Both of their hand blending into one, pushing on the small of your back.

Down farther, suffocating and screaming out at the same time.

Your back crashes against the tile walls, as you slip to the floor. Memories flashing through your mind; the way you yelled stop and how you begged Maty to look away. His sweet baby eyes, watching as you were ripped apart.

You should have worked harder to make him stop.

To make sure Mathew couldn’t see or hear.

But you didn’t.

You failed him in that moment

And you hate yourself for it.

A sudden slam jolts you from your thoughts, and a worried Jake is standing there. Infront of the broken in door, chest heaving and wild-eyed. He falls to his knees as a broken sob, escapes your lips.

Climbing into the shower, fully clothed, to hold on to your trembling body. It’s only then that you notice the water is freezing and that you must have lost track of time.

He mutters sweet nothings into your ear, softly creasing your back. He shifts your body momentarily way from his chest, to turn of the stream of cold water. Shifting back, you clutch onto his shirt. Clinging to the warmth that radiates off him, and the feeling of safety that you can always find in his embrace.

Breathing in the familiar smell of jet fuel mixed with sandalwood and black pepper, your mind fights to regain clarity. That you are home, safe in Jakes arms.

Not caring what horrible outcome awaits you once you explain your panic attack.

Once he finally realizes out how damaged you are.

You won’t blame him, if you could get away from yourself you’d run too.

Though, for this moment you need him. To be able to savor this moment and memorize it for once you’ve lost it. Tuck it away deep within your soul, a memory that a one point he loved you.

He’s never said it, but you’d like to think that he does. At least loves the version of you that is still nice and shiny. He couldn’t ever love the one that’s real, broken, and damaged beyond repair. How could anyone love something so pitiful.

Pulling back, the words fall from your mouth before you can even think to stop them.

The harsh truth.

“I wasn’t enough Jake.” A gasp falls from your mouth, more tears crash down your face.

“I should have tried harder. To stop Adam. To protect Maty. To make the school listen.” Your head shakes in silent disappointment in yourself.

“I could have been better, for Maty, for you.”

“But I failed, and I’m just so tired of trying.”

Your head lays resting against Jake’s chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart. Trying to slow your gasping breaths. His hand rests on the back of your head, gently rocking the both of you.

“I’m so tired of doing it alone.” You pull away from him, to look in his eyes as you lay the truth of your relationship out.

“But it’s not your job and I can’t push that on you. You shouldn’t have to come in and take care of a child that isn’t yours.”

You can see Jake silently shaking his head, as tears start to fall from his eyes.

“I’m just so angry. At how broken and lonely I feel. How I’ve pushed you away, because I’m scared of losing you.” Words continue to fall from your lips, until Jake gentle grabs your face.

He takes a shuddered breath in, his voice cracking slightly.

“Y/F/N look at me.”

Your tear-stained eye stare at each other, a plea asking you to listen.

The hand cradling your face, settles your trembling lip. His other hand comes up to push your soaked hair out of your face. His body heat warms you, and his eyes show nothing but pure love and heartbreak. Like seeing you in so much pain is slowly breaking his heart too.

Your heart aches as you see the tears streaming down his face, gently you reach a shaking hand up to cup his cheek. His hand rises to cradle the one covering his cheek, both your foreheads fall together.

“Darlin’ let me make one thing clear, you and Mathew are the best damn thing that has ever happen to me. From the moment I met you, before we ever got together, I knew I wanted you.”

His words sound foreign to your ears, and you mind sits telling you that he’s lying. But his eyes, the green that you’re in love with, they hold such truth, and you chose to believe he’s not lying.

“Come on, let get you dressed, and we can talk.” He stands with ease, carrying your form as if you were as light as air. “I think we’re both gonna need that cup of tea to warm up. Unless you wanna share body heat, sweets.”

He gives you a wink and you can’t stop the girlish giggles that abrupt from you. The way that he can brighten your mood with the smallest gestures, still amazes you.

“There’s my girl.”

Dressed in fuzzy socks and one of Jake’s old navy shirts, you curl up on the couch as Jake reheats the water for your tea. He comes around the corner moments later with two cups of tea; chamomile for you, his momma always told him it was calming, and peppermint for him.

It reminded him of Christmas, the one-time when everyone in his family got along. The yearly tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve at mid-night, then having a family dinner Christmas night. A joyous atmosphere filled the house, as his mother baked and sisters hand pick which Christmas records to play.

It was a tradition that he hoped to start with you and Mathew, creating your own rendition of the family Christmas.

The sweatpants hang low on his hips, your eyes roam over his torso slowly. Taking in each hard line and the tan skin, your eyes slowly make it up to his face and a cocky smile rests on his lips.

“Like what you see darlin’”

A blush covers your cheeks as you realize that you’ve been caught, once again.

“You’re just so pretty.” You reply, a matching blush covers his cheeks. Happy that you got the desired reaction out of him.

He settles into the seat beside you, handing you your tea, and brushing a gentle kiss against your brow. He pulls your covered feet to rest in his lap and covers you both up with a blanket.

He gently strokes your calf and takes a sip of tea, before asking you what happened today.

So, you start for the beginning. Telling him about your meeting this morning and how the school called. Relaying to him that they put Mathew in a freezing room and how he was just defending himself.

“It was that 2nd grader, Jake. The one that’s been picking on him, Thomas, Timmy…”

“Toby, Darlin’” Jake answers for you, causing your head to snap up in silent questioning.

“Maty, he brought him up to me the other day. I didn’t mention it, well because” he rubs the back of his neck and looks down sheepishly. “I may have told him… that if Toby touched him, they he was allowed to defend himself.”

A smile graces your face, realizing how much he carries about Mathew.

“Then I showed him how to throw a punch.”

With that a full laugh falls from your lips, surprising Jake completely. He was prepared to get his butt chewed, but here you are in a fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry..” You struggle to catch your breath. “It’s just, I’ve been wanting to knock that second grader on his ass sense he pushed Maty.”

Jake releases a blusterous laugh, shaking his head, and a teasing smile directed at you.

You sink farther into the couch and talk a large sip of your tea. Your body finally relaxing, causing your shoulders to drop and your legs to stretch farther into Jakes lap.

You continue on, telling him how Miss Clark wasn’t helpful and how your pretty positive the Principal Davis was sleeping before you barged into his office.

The pause you take to collect your thoughts and calm your racing mind, doesn’t go unnoticed. Though Jake patiently waits, giving you time, and when you’ve taken a few deep breaths Jake motions you to go on.

Blowing out a puff of air, you calm the rage that slowly rises in you from thinking about Principal Davis.

“He’s just horrible Jake. Every time I’ve came to him about Toby or the other boys, he called me overprotective, and said that Mathew is the child at fault.”

His hand remains on your calf, rubbing. You’re not sure if it’s to sooth you or him.

“Then he stood there and implied that he and I could “work together”” you motion quotations with your hands, “to fix the problem. That he clearly didn’t have a male role model, and my ringless finger was the proving point.”

His hand only stops for a moment when you say ringless, but it’s long enough that you notice his pause.  

“The man is so damn aggravating.”

You blow out a breath of air, moving the now partially dry hair that fell across your face. Jake reaches up and moves the strand behind your ear, his hand then falling to cress your cheek before you continue.

“He’s got entitlement issues and has no respect for personal space.” The words rush out of your mouth, before you realize how they might affect Jake.

“The way his hands felt… God, they just made my skin crawl. It was just too much.”

His hand stills on your leg completely and you can feel his body transform; from your soft and gentle Jake to Hangman, the man that had look death in the eyes and laughed.

You look up and his face is void of all emotions, but anger.

“Darlin’ I need you to be very clear with me.” his voice is laced with such venom, that you would be terrified of him, if you couldn’t still see the gentleness in his eyes.

“Are you telling me that Davis touched you?”

You nod, ashamed of the action “He only touched my lower back, and I shouldn’t make it into such a big deal, but it just felt wrong.”

Jake stares back at you with a hardness you’ve never seen.

“Y/N no one is ever, allowed to touch you without your permission. I don’t care what the circumstances are, or what you’ve been told in the past.” He blows out a shuddered breath.

“Baby I am not even allowed to touch you, without your permission.” Both his hands are now holding up your face, making sure you look at him. “Do you understand that?  

The tears that fill your eyes are answer enough.

He knew enough of your past, to know what little value you had for yourself.

Jake had woken up with Mathew on nights that he’d spent the night, the young boy crying out after a nightmare. In the beginning Jake just wanted to give you a break and let you sleep, but he soon realized that Maty needed the extra time with him as well. The little boy had opened up to Jake, telling him about his dreams and memories. Explaining that he couldn’t tell momma, because it made you cry.

Those nights lying awake with Mathew, while rubbing his back to sooth him and help him fall asleep, were some of Jakes most treasured moments. The need to take care Maty and be the stable father-figure in his life, continuously grew. To the point that Jake no longer saw a life without you and his little boy.

You didn’t have to explicitly tell Jake what you had went through, he knew enough and if you ever changed your mind, he would listen. Grateful that you wanted to share that part of you, but it wouldn’t be something he pushed.

No, he would just continuously keep working to show you your worth and how much he loved you. He hadn’t told you yet how much he loved you, to afraid to scare you off, but he knew that you were it for him the first time that he met you.

Papers strewn around the floor in your office, while you sat in the middle, contemplating different flight tracks and patterns. You hadn’t realized he’d come into your office, until he made a coughing sound to gain your attention.

You looked at him with such seriousness, mad at him for interrupting your work and when he asked you where the admiral was, you glanced at your watch before muttering “lunch” at him like he was a complete idiot.

He knew then that you were everything that he wanted; dedicated to your work, beautiful, and wouldn’t put up with his shit. Mathew was an added bonus, one that he wouldn’t change for all the money in the world.

“Darlin’, you and Mathew are the most precious and important people in my life. I will do anything and everything to make you realized how loved you are.”

You mouth dropped up, sitting in stunned silence.

“You love me? You love us?”

The look you give him, makes him chuckle and run a hand through his hair.

“Sweets you are one of the smartest women that I’ve ever met, but how in the world have you not seen that I have been, head over heels in love with you, since the first time we met?” His Texas accent rings clear in your ear. Laying on heavy whenever he calls you sweets.

“Jake, the first time we met was three and a half years ago. When I first started working on base?” The questioning tone you reply with is clear as day.

“Yeah, I know.”

“We just started dating 10 months ago though?”

“Yeah, I spent a year and a half trying to take you out.”

A hand comes to rub at the back of his neck, as he looks away shyly in a way you’d never seen. Gone was your cocky, self-assured pilot, in his place, a boy that looked worried about getting the girl in high school.

“You know how much the guys made fun of me? Told me I was whipped, and I didn’t even have the girl yet.”

A blush covers your cheeks, as you realize just how oblivious you’d been. Though you can’t help but smile, your heart filling with hope and possibility.

“You don’t need to say it back..”

You cut him off before he can finish, pulling him down into a kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck. You pour all of your pent-up emotions into the kiss, silently trying to communicate how much you love him.

His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you to settle on his lap. As you pull away his hand settles on your cheek, eyes staring into the abyss that is your soul.

“Jacob Grant Seresin, I love you more than words can equivalate to. You are the man that I’ve wanted my whole, and never thought I was worthy of.”

More tears fall from your eyes, though these are pure happiness.

“Thank you for taking a chance on the mess that I am, and I’m sorry for making you wait for so long.” Your giggle at the end, breaks into full blown laughter as Jake tickles you. Pushing you down onto your back, he peppers kisses across your face.

“You should be darlin’, it was torture.” He gives you one last kiss “I’d do it a thousand time over though, as long as it for you.”

“My mess, my girl.”

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

Later that night:

“Thank you for helping me with the flight plans, I really didn’t need Cyclone on my ass.” You kiss Jakes waiting lips as you climb in bed for the night.

“Course darlin’”

He gently pulls you back to rest against his chest, peppering kisses on the top of your head. You can’t help but to snuggle deeper into him and the blankets.

“Also, I talk to Rooster and he’s going to bring Mathew to base in the morning. I figured he could hang out with the team. Then if you can get off a bit earlier, we could go by the school on base.”

You go to ask what he was up to.

But he quickly answers, “I called Bob’s wife Lacy, she is a teacher at the school, and she said that their kindergarten teacher is amazing. Also, that they would love to have us come by, and see if it was a good fit.”

You can’t help but be amazed. Wondering how you could have been so clueless and not seen the love that this amazing man has for you and Mathew.

“I love you, that sounds perfect. Thank you.”

Jake moves to shut of the bedside lamp, giving you a sweet kiss. Your lips melting together perfectly. You can feel yourself falling into unconsciousness, your body grateful to finally relax and welcomes the darkness.

Though before you can drift out you feel Jake shift around, nuzzling into your neck as his arm wrap securely around your waist. His body heat encompasses you, causes you to relax even more. Soft kisses are placed on your neck, little ones that you can barley feel.

“Darlin’ don’t think that I forgot about that jackass Davis.”

You stiffen up only slightly, though Jake continues his kisses. Falling just at your jaw line, his hands slide under your shirt and cress your stomach. His gentleness reassures you, and you chose to focus his moments more than his words.

“I don’t want you worrying.”

He places a kiss behind your ear,

“I’m just gonna have a talk with him.”

One on your cheek,

“Make sure he knows that you are mine, even without a ring on your finger.”

A soft fleeting kiss on the lips, that has you chasing his mouth as he pulls away. A cheeky smile stares down at you, before he gently grabs your left hand and kisses your finger.

A silent promise.