#gibberasks

I know you’re (probably?) not a medical expert but for reasons seeing a doctor isn’t super possible for me rn

And I’ve realized this is less a question about vaginismus and more just me rambling about a problem in the hopes that SOMEONE will have an idea of what’s going on. So, sorry about that

I’ve wondered for a long time if I have vaginismus bc I can’t do vaginal penetration with anything without discomfort at the very least, but idk if it actually is vaginismus because the discomfort is only at the entrance. Any time I try to insert something there’s usually a slight burning feeling for a while afterwards, but again, only at the entrance.

I wondered if maybe there was a problem with the hymen being too big or too inflexible, but none of the diagrams I’ve looked at looks like what I have going on, and I can’t tell if that’s because diagrams almost always exaggerate/generalize what something looks like or if it’s because there’s something genuinely just Different about what I’ve got

So yea, can discomfort/pain from vaginismus occur only at the entrance? Or is there likely something else going on?

I’ve realized this is not much information to go off, I can try to clarify if there are any questions. Again, sorry about the ramble/lack of info

hey there! so this unfortunately isnt gonna be super in my expertise wheelhouse, my coming outs have all been weird, but ill definitely give it a shot. as far as how to come out goes, there's unfortunately never really gonna be a one-size-fits-all surefire way to do it, every situation will be different depending on who youre coming out to. it also isn't a one-time thing, especially once youve gotten over the initial hump; you may only have to come out to each person once, but you will always be meeting new people and having to decide how/when/if to come out.

myself for example:

my mom - found out through my facebook message telling her we were going low contact

my dad - found out through my facebook post announcing id been on t a year and was changing my name

my brother: found out over text just before i started t

my boyfriend: came out 3 years into dating, proposed starting t via powerpoint presentation

my roommate: has known since we were like 15

my close friends: would ask me my pronouns every few months and knew before i did probably

my coworkers: didn't get told jack shit but watched t make me go from baby face to full beard and either figured it out and switched to he/him, or didnt and got weird looks from everyone else there because the_waitress_thinks_you_have_dementia.jpg

my boss: got told because a coworker was being weird about using my full name and i had to explain why it annoyed me

so like. none of these really have a common theme, beyond that most of them were done over message because i find it easier to share important things that way, my mouth doesnt like saying things out loud sometimes so i have my thumbs do it and the important part is that it gets said at all, so i try not to stress about the medium.

the last bit of advice i have is simply this: yes, people will judge you. people will think you look weird and will think you made the wrong decision. people will stare at you and will whisper about you and shuffle their kids away from you.

but here's the thing: people will do that anyways. you cannot stop people from judging you, it's human nature. you judge others as well, its not something we can turn off. so the question then becomes this: how much do you value their opinion? the stranger trying to keep her kids from being infected by your icky transness, do you think her opinion should be respected? the person staring at you for Looking A Way They Dont Like, is that the kind of behavior you want to conform to? to reinforce? the guy yelling slurs at you on the street, will you sit down and shut up and do as he says and stop existing as yourself? or will you exist louder?