#giant bean

First || Previous || Next

!Warning!

Fear, curse words, ¿mentions of eating borrowers?, mildly religion related topics

—————————————————————

Mark stared, stunned, at the tiny… humanoid creature in his husband’s hands.

This was insane.

“That’s Lizzie” James said, almost laughing at the expression on Mark’s face. He understood the shock completely, but his husband’s bewilderment was strangely endearing.

James looked back at Lizzie.

The little girl had visibly tensed at the sight of Mark. She clung tightly to the plush elephant, her tiny body trembling.

James’s expression softened immediately.

“You don’t have to be scared, sweetheart” he whispered, comforting her. “This is just my husband, Mark. You’re safe.”

But this time, his words didn’t seem to help all that much.

Feeling strangely responsible for the little girl, James reached out and gently stroked her hair with the tips of two fingers.

It was meant to comfort her further.

Instead, she shrank back.

When it had just been James, Lizzie hadn’t seemed quite so frightened. He was still a human, but somehow… different.

Mark was much taller.

Broader.

His dark features made him seem even more intimidating.

James had felt almost… inhuman in his kindness. Not like a beast from the stories she’d hear.

Mark however, looked exactly like the giants Cain had warned her about.

Now she was certain she was in real danger.

“Th-that’s… a child” Mark murmured, his deep voice barely above a whisper.

Lizzie flinched at the sound.

“Yeah” James replied quietly. “A very brave child.” He offered her another small smile.

This time, she glanced back at him. Her shoulders relaxed, just a little.

Somehow, his gentleness was helping.

Mark remained silent for a long moment. He still couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing.

Then another thought surfaced.

A much more important one.

“Where are her parents?”

Ouch.

James’s smile faded.

Right.

For one impossible moment, he’d allowed himself to imagine Lizzie was a miracle.

A revelation from heaven.

A tiny answer to years of prayers.

Like Thumbelina.

A magical tiny child who had somehow found her way into the home that needed her most.

But reality was rarely that kind.

A little girl this young couldn’t possibly be surviving on her own.

James didn’t wish anything bad on anyone. But for the briefest moment…

he found himself praying there were no parents searching for her.

He prayed that Lizzie would need him.

“I… I don’t know.”

He looked back at the tiny girl.

“Lizzie… where are your parents?”

Lizzie bit her lip and squeezed Mr. Elephant tighter.

“They’re… in a better place. With the Creator… or something.”

Her voice was uncertain. She barely remembered the story Cain had told her.

She knew they were somewhere wonderful now. Somewhere with endless food. No borrowing. No humans. Just… joy.

She’d begged Cain to take her there, but he always refused.

One day, he’d promised.

Just…

Far, far in the future.

Both men fell silent. James felt his breath catch. Mark’s hands curled into fists.

Was this little girl…

alone?

“Are you…” James swallowed. “Who’s taking care of you, sweetheart?”

His voice trembled.

“You’re far too little to be out there by yourself.”

“I’m not little!” Lizzie protested, sounding much bolder all of a sudden. She definitely considered James’ words offensive. “I’m already eight! And I have a big brother!”

“A big brother?” Mark echoed.

She flinched again.

“Y-yes!” she insisted. “I have a b-big brother, and h-he’s big and really brave! He’ll c-come save me!”

She hurriedly wiped her nose, trying her hardest to look courageous.

She wanted Cain to be proud of her.

“Save you?” James asked, his voice cracking. “From what?”

Lizzie frowned.

She couldn’t believe they didn’t understand. She hugged the Mr. Elephant even tighter.

“…You.”

James blinked.

“Us?”

“The humans.”

Silence settled over the kitchen.

James felt sick. The anxiety was crushing him.

“H-humans are very bad monsters” Lizzie whispered, repeating the words she’d heard her brother say countless times.

Cain would never lie. He taught her right.

James couldn’t find his voice. Seeing his sadness, Lizzie was taken aback.

Mark, however, understood immediately.

He looked at the tiny child.

Then at his own hands.

The difference in size.

The imbalance of power.

How completely defenseless she was.

How dangerous they were to her.

“…How old is your brother?” he asked quietly. His voice faltered.

“Fourteen!”

Despite her trembling, Lizzie managed a proud smile.

“He’s big now! He’s not scared of anything!”

Both men’s hearts sank.

Fourteen.

A fourteen-year-old boy…

raising his little sister alone.

“Where is your brother now?” Mark asked, his tone firmer than he’d intended.

Lizzie shrank back immediately.

Mark noticed it at once.

He hadn’t meant to frighten her. He was simply determined.

He needed to find the boy.

Needed to help him.

He knew James wanted the same thing, but he was still trying to process everything.

Someone had to stay focused.

Children—no matter how small—shouldn’t have to raise themselves. They shouldn’t be forced to grow up early.

They deserved safety.

Food.

Love.

“…Home.” Lizzie answered quietly.

She hugged Mr. Elephant even tighter. Fresh tears filled her eyes.

She wanted Cain.

Wherever Cain was… that was home.

She couldn’t break any more borrower rules. She couldn’t bare the thought of making him disappointed.

She’d already broken the biggest one.

Don’t get caught.

The second was just as important.

Never lead a giant to another borrower.

She couldn’t tell them where Cain was. That would be dangerous.

She had to wait.

He’d come for her.

He always did.

“Where—”

“Lizzie” James interrupted his husband “are you hungry?”

He knew Mark meant well.

But every question seemed to make the little girl retreat further into herself. She was beginning to trust them less, which seemed impossible — yet was happening.

That wasn’t what he wanted.

Besides…

She was painfully thin.

He’d assumed she was six. Finding out she was eight only made the sight more worrying.

That is, if you could judge a tiny person like her using human scale.

“I could make you some breakfast.”

“Bre-k-fast?” She repeated the word carefully. As if she’d never heard it before.

James’s stomach twisted.

“Morning food” he explained, internally screaming that the poor child was not fed properly.

She should know what a breakfast is, damn it.

He was now worried sick, while Lizzie thought his expression was kinda funny.

Almost as if he was scared now.

He wasn’t brave at all. What a funny human.

“I’ll… make something.”

Standing, he walked to the countertop, leaving Lizzie on the table with Mr. Elephant.

“Honey” he said quietly, glancing at Mark, “could you call work and tell them I’m sick today?”

Mark was still staring at the little girl, trying to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

“…Yeah.”

He slowly nodded.

“Whatever you want babe.”

—————————————————————

Cain raced through the tunnels as though his life depended on it.

Well…

His sister’s did.

He prayed she’d still be somewhere inside the walls. But she wasn’t.

His heart hammered against his ribs as adrenaline carried him forward at speed impossible for borrowers.

He skidded to a stop just before the tunnel’s opening.

The lights were on.

They were talking.

His breath caught.

The humans were awake.

“…Fuck!”

Why were they awake so early?

Keeping himself hidden behind the breadbox, Cain cautiously peeked toward the countertop.

He couldn’t see anything but he could hear them talking. But his thoughts were racing too fast to make sense of their words.

His mind refused to focus.

Then one word stood out.

“Food.”

Cain froze.

…Food?

What food?

Why were they talking about food?

His blood ran cold.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

His whole body began to tremble. He bit his lip so hard it began to bleed.

They weren’t…

Were they?

The story is coming...

Cloud Gate

Anish Kapoor

MILLENNIUM PARK

CHICAGO

Here are more photos from our stay in Chicago. My brother isn’t a huge fan of getting his picture taken, but I got a few with him!

Before seeing Logic, we spent the whole day walking around taking in the sights. We visited Cloud Gate, Willis Tower, and also the neighborhood where one of my roommates from college is now living. In total we walked over 36,000 steps just in that day (that’s around 15 miles). All in all we had a lot of fun.

First || Previous || Next

!Warning!

Curse words, fear (and mentions of reason for it), mildly religious phrasing

—————————————————————

Mark kept staring at the little girl cuddled up with the plush toy, unable to stop thinking about her older brother.

He couldn’t imagine a teen—

No.

Barely a teen,

without anyone looking out for him. The kid was practically a parent himself.

Mark had a younger sister as well, so he knew that being an older brother was challenging enough. But raising a child? As a teenager, he’d always found ways to avoid responsibility.

That boy hadn’t had that luxury.

James, meanwhile, was preparing a salad. He didn’t know what kind of food Lizzie could eat, but vegetables seemed like the safest option.

Every few seconds, he’d say something kind and reassuring, hoping she would eventually calm down completely.

He was even more anxious than his husband, but he tried not to let it show. Lizzie’s well-being mattered far more than his own worries.

Lizzie barely acknowledged James’s words. She would glance at him from time to time, her tiny body leaning ever so slightly in his direction, but she never dared answer.

But even if her reactions were minuscule, they were enough. She’d found James… being the safer option.

Focusing on James meant she didn’t have to face the cruel reality of being captured by humans—or meet the gaze of Mark, whose eyes never seemed to leave her.

Whenever her timid ocean-blue eyes met his dark brown ones, she flinched and looked away as quickly as she could.

She was terrified of him.

She liked James better.

Even so, James was still human. And humans were cruel beasts. Humans did terrible things to borrowers.

She couldn’t allow herself to believe there wasn’t some deception hidden behind his kindness.

There had to be a trick.

She hoped Cain would come save her soon. She couldn’t bear facing these enormous monsters much longer.

Although…

They weren’t exactly as frightening as the stories had made them sound.

They looked almost like borrowers.

Just… bigger.

Much bigger.

And they hadn’t grabbed her. Hadn’t crushed her. Hadn’t tried to eat her. They didn’t even toy with her.

That…

That had to be part of the trick.

All humans were vicious beasts.

Lizzie was a big girl. She wouldn’t be fooled by a friendly smile.

Still… She was quietly grateful they hadn’t made the stories come true. Not yet, anyway.

“Mark, honey, could you call my work?” James repeated, glancing toward his husband.

“Oh—yeah. Right.” Mark blinked, pulled from his thoughts.

He stepped back a little too quickly.

Lizzie flinched hard, burying herself deeper against Mr. Elephant.

Mark froze.

His eyes widened with guilt.

He understood just how terrifying he must look to someone so impossibly small and vulnerable. He just hadn’t considered which actions would actually be triggering.

“Sorry, little one” he whispered, trying to soften his voice.

He failed.

His voice was naturally deep and resonant. Trying to make it gentler only made it sound forced.

Fake.

Exactly like a trap.

Lizzie noticed.

He was trying to hide what he really was.

Trying to trick her.

She never looked back at him. Never answered.

If she responded to anyone, it was James.

Mark waited a few seconds, hoping for any reaction at all.

Nothing came.

Only fear.

Eventually, he accepted that she simply wasn’t ready to answer. But it still stung.

He felt as though his mere presence made everything worse. As though children simply… didn’t like him.

His chest tightened.

He looked toward James, silently searching for reassurance. But James was completely absorbed in preparing breakfast, too focused on Lizzie to notice his husband’s expression.

Quietly, Mark left the kitchen to call James’s workplace. He felt guilty.

And strangely… helpless.

Lizzie fought back fresh tears as the taller, broader and far scarier giant disappeared from the room.

She didn’t want the humans to see how frightened she was.

More importantly…

She didn’t want Cain to know she’d been scared.

She was big and brave! She couldn’t show weakness!

And she was sure Cain would arrive any second. He always came for her.

…Didn’t he?

But every passing minute made the ache in her stomach worse. She couldn’t wait much longer.

She needed him.

A quiet sob escaped her before she could stop it.

She hated being alone. She hated being away from Cain.

She needed him.

Always.

She hoped this was all just a terrible nightmare.

It had to be.

Another tiny sob escaped her.

James’s body stiffened the moment he heard it.

She was crying again.

His heart lurched as his gaze immediately dropped back to the table.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel as he stepped closer. His voice was as gentle as ever, soft and warm in a way that came naturally to him. She liked his voice.

Lizzie looked up at him through tear-filled eyes.

“Oh, honey…” he sighed, offering her a small smile as he sat back down. “It’s alright. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Lizzie didn’t believe him.

She felt so alone.

Without Cain, she was completely alone. Completely defenceless. Completely overwhelmed.

Only now did she truly realize just how small she really was.

How not-brave she really was.

How frightening the world could be without her brother beside her.

She needed comfort.

She needed someone.

Anyone.

She let go of Mr. Elephant. Then she lifted both tiny arms toward James. Just like a toddler asking to be picked up.

She hoped he would understand.

He did.

James reached toward her slowly. He didn’t want to frighten her any more than she already was.

His heart pounded faster at the sight of the tiny child asking him for comfort.

Before lifting her, he gently brushed a finger along her back.

A small test.

He was afraid she wanted to be held in theory, only to panic the moment he actually touched her.

Small steps.

That seemed safest.

Lizzie flinched. But she didn’t pull away.

Instead, she kept both arms stretched toward him, bouncing impatiently on her tiny feet, her lower lip jutting out in a pout.

James took a slow, careful breath. Then his fingers gently curled around her tiny body.

He lifted her from the table with painstaking care and brought her close to his chest before leaning back in his chair, cradling her securely between his hands and the warmth of his body.

He was terrified.

Terrified he’d do something wrong.

Terrified she’d fall.

Terrified he’d scare her again.

Terrified he wouldn’t be gentle enough.

Terrified he’d hurt her.

None of it, however, could stop the smile spreading across his face. Or the overwhelming warmth blooming in his chest.

Lizzie was terrified of humans.

She believed they were monsters.

And yet…

She had asked him to hold her.

To James, that felt like an indescribably precious gift.

Lizzie blinked back fresh tears as James’s fingers closed carefully around her. The moment her feet left the table, she looked down. Instantly, panic tightened her chest.

It was so high.

If she fell…

She’d die.

She quickly looked up instead. Only to realize she was completely surrounded by the human’s hands.

Her breathing became uneven.

Which was worse?

Falling…

Or the giant?

Had she made a terrible mistake?

Cain’s stories flooded back into her mind.

Humans were monsters. Humans lied. Humans tricked borrowers.

Was she being carried towards her own—

Before the thought could spiral out of control…

James gently pressed her against his chest.

Warm.

He was so warm.

“It’s okay, Lizzie” he whispered.

“I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay.”

“I’m here.”

His voice vibrated softly through his chest, surrounding her from every direction.

It was…

Comforting.

Almost impossibly so.

She knew this feeling. Being held like this. She just couldn’t remember from where.

James was warm.

His heartbeat was slow and steady.

It was safe.

Her tiny fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt as she instinctively snuggled closer.

She liked the sound of his heart.

It made everything feel nice.

Safer.

A yawn escaped her.

Before she even realized how exhausted she was, her eyelids became heavy.

She nestled comfortably against him and drifted off to sleep.

James couldn’t help smiling. His fingers gently stroked her back as she slept peacefully against his chest.

She trusted him.

At least enough to fall asleep in his arms.

The thought alone filled his heart with joy.

He couldn’t stop looking at her.

She was adorable!

He could have sat there forever. Simply holding her.

She was his tiny little angel.

And she needed him.

For the first time in years…

James realized something.

He needed her, too.

After a long moment, James was pulled from his thoughts by his husband’s voice:

“James! Help!”

James raised an eyebrow.

“This again?” he muttered under his breath.

Mark had probably gotten another drawer broken.

Again.

It wasn’t exactly unusual. His husband was remarkably strong. And remarkably clumsy.

Unfortunately, those two traits didn’t make for a particularly good combination.

James carefully stood.

Then he hesitated.

If he carried Lizzie with him, she’d almost certainly wake up.

A quiet sigh escaped him.

He’d promised himself he wouldn’t leave her alone.

As gently as he could, he lowered her onto the couch, far from the edge, resting her on one of the soft pillows.

His fingers lingered for a second before finally pulling away.

The instant they did…

They felt extremely empty.

As though something—or rather, someone—was missing.

James didn’t want to admit it, but he was becoming attached to the little girl far too quickly.

He gave her one last glance before hurrying toward the other room.

The sooner he helped Mark, the sooner he could come back.

This was Cain’s chance.

He had remained hidden the entire time, desperately trying to understand what the humans were saying and doing.

Truthfully, though…

He understood almost nothing.

Every fifth word, perhaps. Never enough to make sense of the conversation.

Only when both giant men finally left the kitchen did he dare climb onto the countertop.

Please…

Please let her still be here.

Humans were monsters. Vile beasts that knew only cruelty.

His stomach twisted with guilt. He should never have let Lizzie out of his sight. He just… never expected she’d sneak out when he was asleep.

He’d promised to protect her.

How could he have been so careless?

He had to bring his baby sister home.

His eyes searched frantically.

The enormous bowl of salad blocked much of his view, towering over him like a forest.

For several agonizing seconds he couldn’t find her.

Then he saw her. On the couch.

His heart stopped.

She wasn’t moving.

Her eyes were closed.

……

Oh God.

Cain’s eyes widened in horror.

Without thinking, he broke into a sprint.

And all at once…

The memories came flooding back.

⸻

Three years earlier.

“Take care of Lizzie while we go borrowing, Cain.”

His father’s voice echoed in his memory.

Little Cain beamed.

It was the first time he’d been trusted to look after Lizzie all by himself.

“Of course, dad!” he exclaimed, his eyes shining. “I’ll make you proud!”

His father smiled and ruffled his messy brown hair.

“I know you will.”

“What about me?” his mother laughed, pretending to pout. “You’ve always been such a daddy’s boy!”

She scooped little Lizzie into her arms.

“Good thing I’ve got my little princess.”

All four of them laughed.

Really laughed.

God…

He missed that sound.

“We’ll be back soon” his mother said as she set Lizzie back on the floor.

“Just stay safe.”

“I’ll take care of her!” Cain declared proudly. “I promise I won’t let you down!”

His father smiled.

“That’s my boy.”

⸻

Cain ran even faster.

Using his rope, he dropped from the countertop before racing across the floor toward the couch.

Had he broken that promise?

The last promise his dad had ever asked him to keep?

——————————-

Tagslist: