It's been a hectic few days. Husband's had a lot of work to get done, and there's always like a line of family waiting to see Daughter. Busy, busy weekend. At least I got the lawn mowed. I was alone as I did it, and couldn't help but shiver in the heat when I looked up at the house.
Something about thinking of all these things has made it all worse. Of course that's false, though; ignoring a bully doesn't make him go away, and putting your taxes out of your mind doesn't fill them out and mail them. But dwelling on an issue that you can't control does emphasize it a bit at least. Every tiny sound in the house is amplified, and the large sounds turn into bangs and roars. Last night the dog couldn't sleep downstairs, and the cracks in the plaster of my ceiling appeared to move as I stared at them for way too long in the dark.
Someone has been slowly riding his bike down my street late at night, lighting off leftover fireworks and throwing them in yards and down alleys. Living on the edge of an old town, my neighborhood has never really been particularly safe or classy, and stuff like this happens all the time. The bike asshole is just the most recent annoyance, and the sudden pop of explosions in the night are not helping my sleep or my state of mind.
Husband called me on Friday night while I was out with some of the dudes after his birthday party, asking if it was me who just came in to the house. Seeing as I was at a bar two blocks away, I started gathering my things and getting ready to tab out while staying on the phone with him. I walked him through the house in his ear… and everything was normal. All the doors and windows were locked, but the dog was a mess. Husband swore he had heard the exterior backdoor open and shut, and then the interior one do the same, but he quickly changed his tune with a quick, dismissive laugh.
So, if ghosts are real, what are they, and what is their purpose? Their proliferation seems so random, and there's no consistency in how they're studied or understood. It's hardly a science. It makes looking into the phenomenon with basically no knowledge of it really disheartening.
