#ghostlycaverns

The half-elf desperately squeezed the deep cut in his leg, blood shooting out from between his fingers. The orc shopkeeper must have nicked an artery in an attempt to stop Snow from stealing his goods. Without any help partners to help him up, or paladins to heal him before escorting him to prison, Snow would surely bleed out in the back alley where he was left.

Luckily for him, a friend heard his cries for help and dashed towards the half-elf.

Well…it wasn’t that luck.

Chente wasn’t much of a friend.

“Oh my, what an absolute shoooooock.” The tengu droned as he rolled his eyes at the unsuccessful thief. “Who would’ve thought that a life of crime in large heavily populated areas wouldn’t go so well-”

“Stop making fun of me and give me a potion!” Snow barked at the bird.

“Oh, is the 4 year old giving me orders?” Chente asked in a demeaning tone. “Do I have to get your blankie and tell you bedtime stories too?”

“I’m loosing blood you feathered fuck!”

“Hey!” Chente snapped, pointing at Snow. “Watch your language. Kids like you shouldn’t be using the F-word.”

“I’m DYING!” Snow screamed, turning slightly pale.

“Do you want me to kiss your boo-boo and make it feel better?”The half-elf fell to his side. “I HATE YOU!”

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Al felt his every vital bodily function shut down as he heard those two words leave his friend’s mouth. There was no warning, no signs of this happening. Ricky just burst through the door a moment ago and demanded, with no ceremony and no expression, that Al Marry him. Eventually, as his mind returned from its state of shock, he could finally question the sudden proposal. “E-excuse me?”“I made a bet with Kita”

And just like that, everything went back to normal. Al let out a large sigh as he pressed his fingers against his temple, simultaneously conveying relief and frustration. “You…You made a bet?”Ricky nodded, excitedly. “Yeah!”Al paused, trying to imagine what the bet could be. “To…marry me?”“Nope”Now Al was just confused. “Then what-“

“Me and Rita were talkin’ about…I dunno, a bunch of shit, Think it had something to do with politics. Anyway, not important, what is important is we were talkin’ about marriage at some point, an’ I said what I always say. Marriage is bullshit, it’s a useless show of ‘love’ people, ceremonies take too long, too much paperwork and plannin’ for nothin’, yadda yadda yadda you know how I feel. And so she says, hey, did you know married peeps get…um, what was it, a tax refund?Al scrunched his face. “Don’t think that’s it.”

“Well, whatever it is, we get some kinda tax thingy, I know that.” Ricky continued. “So I’m thinkin that, hey, if I can marry a ton of people then we might get some kinda huge bag of dough delivered straight to my apartment. I tell that to Kita and she tells me ‘that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,’ and I’m like, ‘betcha I can’. So I was thinkin’ who would be a quick and easy person to marry and you were the first that came to mind that’s how we got here.”

Al groaned at the idiotic scheme. “Ricky…”

Ricky stepped beside Al, wrapping his arm around his back. “C’mooon, Al, it’ll be easy. I’m just lookin’ for a few peeps. I already got Kita convinced to get hitched with me.”Al raised his brow to that impossible sounding statement. “And she agreed to that?”

“Um…Well maybe I left before she answered, but I think she’ll go along with it.” Ricky said with a wide, bastardly grin. “Now…who else? Guess we could convince Berg.”

Al sighed, “Ricky, no, he’s a 60 year old widower.”

“Oh c’mon Al, older dudes have done worse.”

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