Okay, so now I have had time to recollect the absolute chaos of what happened, here is the story of what took place at the meet & greet with my best friend @amyofasgard and Cardinal;

So my best friend Amy literally guides me in, holding my hand. I’m already pretty much near frozen, other hand to my chest out of habit which kind of gives me some sense of security. I look up and see the Cardinal himself, already making his way over to us and greeting my friend Amy first (she was leading the way). He comes over and greets us, shakes Amy’s other hand and she say’s “she’s very nervous”, referring to me who’s probably looking tense asf at this point. He looks at me, puts his hand out for me to shake, and says “ How are you?”, but it’s so soft I could see he was trying to help me ease up a bit. I let go of Amy’s hand and shook his and said “I’m fine thanks, how are you?” just a complete automatic response. He goes “Great, thank you!” And while this is happening, Amy’s started to fiddle with something in her bag and pulls some stuff out. All I heard was “Oh!” And she hands him what she’s holding. She never told me, but she had actually printed out my artwork to show him, and I just get hit with this absolute wave of anxiety and embarrassment that I literally covered my face and whined “Amy, noooo!” But he’s looking through them with her, nodding and points out that ofc the one of Nihil and Sister that I drew isn’t him, and my friend goes “oh yeah that’s Nihil and Sister”, he keeps going through and see’s the Cursed Copia plush pic I drew (this one) . Then I hear him go “This one! This one’s my favourite!” and then he turns to me and goes “you’re very talented, keep it up!”. I couldn’t stop smiling when he said that, I felt so much better about it and thanked him.

So then me, Cardinal and Amy go to get our pics taken. The first one is just his him in the middle, us on either side with his hands on our shoulders. Then for the next pic, Amy asked to do a “Charlie’s Angel’s” Pose, with him in the middle and us on either side again. Amy got the go-ahead that once her pics were taken with us, I could have an individual photo. So as she passes me and Cardinal, she goes “okay, I’ll leave so that she can have an individual photo kissing your cheek!”

And holy hell, I felt like I was going to die. I already made up my mind that I couldn’t bring myself to ask him if I can because I was just so anxious, and ofc Amy just dropped the bomb and left, with me whining “Amyyy!” while she did.

Cardinal watched her leave and just looked down at me, and said so softly “you don’t have to, if you don’t want to”, since he knew I was kind of put on the spot for it. But I completely froze, I couldn’t speak and only managed an “ Uuuuhhh…”. I was shaking like a damn leaf, honestly I think I completely dissociated for a second. But instead of just being like “okay!” And doing a normal pose with me, I didn’t even have to ask him, he just moved his face to the side for me and leaned over. I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening and at that point I just did it, pretty sure I forgot to close my damn eyes and I had to remind myself to do it and that’s when the pic was taken!

So this pic wasn’t pre-posed, at all. My hands are again stuck to my chest because I do that a lot when I’m panicky. After the photo was taken, I heared him wish me a great time at the Ritual, and I thanked him as I left. At this point I was literally on the verge of tears and I think Amy knew I had done it because I almost ran out.

I really don’t think I would have mentioned it if Amy didn’t bring it up, and honestly I couldn’t be happier with the photo. But I’m so grateful to the Cardinal, who was so patient and understanding that it was like he read my damn mind without me having to personally ask him myself. He could have just put his arm around me/hand on my shoulder, have the pic taken and be done; but he was so damn kind enough to just go ahead with it anyway. He really is such an amazing person, and next time they come back I want to be able to thank him for just being so patient with me and my almost crippling anxiety (and maybe actually talk to him apart from it just being basic responses ; v ; )

So if he ever see’s this (I doubt, but if he does), thank you so much for being such a comforting presence and just being you. If anyone is like me with really bad anxiety, you have nothing to worry about when meeting this wonderful man. You’re in great hands!