#ghiacccio

We start with the origin of Dick Helmet.    Mild-mannered Guido Mista lived an ordinary life until he saw a guy beating up a lady in a car.   Instincitively rushing to her aid, the guy and his friends tried to shoot him, but all of the bullets miraculously missed him.  Then he took one of their guns and shot all three of them with four bullets.    The severe unluck of using four bullets caused him to get charged with murder, even though it was self-defense. 

Bruno read about the trial and decided to use his mob connections to get Mista’s verdict overturned, and then he had him take Polpo’s test to join the gang.  Then Mista got bitten by a radioactive penis, and he has to wear a ridiculously small turtleneck to regulate the turbulent big dick energy raging inside his body.

I was looking forward to this leg of Part 5, because it made absolutely no sense to me when I read it the first time.   The scanlation was especially poor, and it’s basically an all-action segment, which involves a lot of frozen blood and frozen water and bullets and chunks of frozen air and Sex Pistols and a bunch of other stuff that all looks exactly the same in a really bad scan of a black and white comic.   The dialogue would have helped me make sense of it, except it was just a bunch of word salad, as the translator couldn’t even decide what “conscience” means in English, or even how to spell it. 

Basically, the next-to-last enemy in the Execution Team is Ghiaccio, whose Stand, White Album, makes things really cold.  Somehow, this power also enabled him to catch up to Giorno and Mista’s car on the highway, and climb on top of it without their noticing.   The duo doesn’t even notice the temperature drop until their windows start to frost up, and then Mista touches the window with his hand and his finger freezes to the glass and breaks off. 

What I don’t like about White Album is that it takes what ought to be a very simple power--extreme cold-- and makes it extremely confusing and implausible.  Giorno estimates that Ghiaccio is chilling their surroundings to -100 degrees Celsius.  It’s so cold that the brake pedal freezes, so Giorno can’t stop the car.    It’s so cold that Gold Experience can’t generate any life forms.  It’s so cold that the moisture in Mista’s breath is freezing his nostrils and lips shut.  

But for some reason it never gets cold enough to, you know, kill Giorno and Mista.  To put this into perspective, carbon dioxide freezes at -78.5 degrees Celsius, so Mista’s lips should be covered in a layer of dry ice, not frozen water.  The flash point of gasoline is -43 degrees Celsius, so I have doubts that the engine of Giorno’s car would still be functional at -100C.  

When Giorno and Mista realize the enemy is on the roof of the car, Mista shoots at him, but this just lets more cold air come in through the bullet holes.   So how are they not just super double-dead now?   It’s not like Ghiaccio isn’t trying to kill them either.    He took things slow at first because he thought Trish was in the car, but once he realizes it’s just two of Bruno’s gang, he has no reason to hold back.

Meanwhile, Narancia becomes a Sith Lord and brings the turtle into Venice by boat.   The Boss’s latest orders were to obtain a disc in Venice that would tell them how to meet up with him, but Bruno decided to split up the team so as not to put Trish at risk.

Giorno tries to punch White Album with Gold Experience, but all he ends up doing is freezing his hand to the point where it breaks off.    Seriously, if it’s cold enough for this to happen, how is he breathing?  How is he not dead?

Anyway, they tried knocking Ghiaccio off their car, but he’s too persistent, and he has ice skates on his Stand, and I guess he’s fast enough to keep up with the car.  That’s how cold works, right?  It makes you faster?   The point is that Giorno ends up crashing the car into the water, thinking it would take longer for Ghiaccio to freeze it over if it was surrounded by water.    I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, but that doesn’t seem to matter here.  

Giorno thinks he’s miscalculated, and tells Mista to run away and get the disc they were sent to find.   Mista hates that idea, and refuses to abandon Giorno, and then he gets an idea.  He tells Giorno to turn the roof off the car into grass before Ghaiccio can ice over the whole thing.   Then he starts surfing on it, and White Album can’t stop him because he can just sled over the ice and float on the water.

DICK HELMET III: THE MENACE OF PROFESSOR SHRINKAGE

The only way for Ghiaccio to stop Mista from escaping is to turn off his cold power, which melts the bottom of Mista’s sled, and frees Giorno from his icy deathtrap.  

From here, Mista tries to shoot Ghiaccio, but he doesn’t have much luck.   First, Ghiaccio wears his Stand like a suit of armor.    On top of this, he can freeze bullets before they reach him.    So Mista repeats a trick he used on Sale, and shoots a bullet at another object to drive it into Ghiaccio’s armor. 

This only stuns Ghiaccio, but it’s enough for Mista to climb onto dry land and escape, except he thinks he’s figured out how to kill Ghiaccio, and he doesn’t want to pass up that chance.   So instead of escaping, he dives back into the water, and tries to shoot what looks like an airhole in the back of White Album’s neck.   Only it doesn’t work because White Album doesn’t need an airhole in the conventional sense.    Ghiaccio can freeze air inside his Stand and evaporate it to provide an air supply for himself whether the airhole is clear or not. 

More importantly, White Album can freeze the air outside of itself, creating a field of frozen nitrogen pieces which can... deflect bullets?   Wouldn’t the bullets still break the chunks of frozen air?   They’re solid, but so is water ice, and a bullet would still shatter that. 

Also, it looks as though Ghiaccio is making the frozen air pieces move around to bounce the bullets back at Mista, not unlike how Mista’s own Sex Pistols kick bullets around.   Except Sex Pistols are fast enough and precise enough to actually do that.    How the hell is White Album able to bounce bullets around?

Another complication is that the frozen air is difficult to see?   I guess?   I don’t see why that would be true, but Mista apparently has trouble figuring out where to send his bullets.

... Until Giorno sprays blood from his wounds up into the air, splattering it all over White Album’s defensive field.    I have no idea how Giorno managed that over such a great distance.  

Regardless, White Album can still deflect bullets back onto Mista, but Mista manages to drive Ghiaccio back until his airhole gets impaled on a sharp piece of metal sticking out of a pole that was damaged in the battle.  All Mista has to do is keep shooting to force him back until the pole goes in deep enough to kill him.   So you end up with this scene, where they’re basically shooting at each other, and somehow Mista is able to survive multiple bullet wounds.  

What’s dumb about this is that Giorno and Mista are basically fighting as hard as they can just to score a single hit on Ghiacccio, but they’re taking many many hits of equal or greater damage and nothing actually happens to either of them.  Why should we believe that it would kill Ghiaccio to get stabbed in the back of the neck when Mista can survive getting shot a dozen times?  

At last, Mista collapses, and Ghiaccio manages to save himself by freezing his own blood into a makeshift brace to keep himself from being driven any further back, but then Giorno shows up and finishes him off.  

Okay so, hey! As I said, you can contact me at [email protected] in case you’re interested, but before you do it, please consider the following points:

Give me your username at the moment you send the email, that way it will be easier for me to know who I am making the commission to (ex. ghiacccio — Instagram/Tumblr/DeviantART/etc).

Tell me the commission type (head, bust, waist up or full body).

If you want the drawing with lineart or lineless.

Which art style would you like your commission to be (ex. chibi/normal).

What would you like the character/characters to do.

Specific details/expressions JUST in case you want me to draw them.

And of course, visual references!