#gettingoutofthevalley

I've been so uncertain about life, the future mostly. College; to go or not to go, that is the question my friends. What would it all be for? A lousy degree in Creative Writing that I can't put for to anything?

A part of myself keeps nudging the other, telling it that it doesn't matter what I decide to do as long as I continue with these stories, but the other half has itself off on tangents.

I'll just let what happens, happen. Let the world take me in its wind, and away from the iron grip of the expectation of other's I often get wrapped up in.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words cannot form. I am bewildered by this.

I am not one that is able to share my deepest thoughts to anyone. Even you, my great friend. When the small talk comes down to silence and tears.

It’s just a simple three word sentence. I am gay.

But when I write it the meaning becomes mangled. It loses the purpose and self grievance behind them.

But that’s not important. That is in the response that I hope in return. Three words come to my mind.

I and Love and You.

Because after all, the rest doesn’t matter; age, sex, ethnicity, religion, physique, and wealth.

With choked back tears, I asked you why.

You turned and looked out the window to the setting sun. Then you quietly replied, “Because you just are.”

I didn’t understand at the time, but I think I do now.

I recall you looking at the faces of people in your last days. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I think you found peace on my face.