Shrek & Morty
The swamp reeked of every decaying biological thing that ever crawled through that mud for the last several millions of years, in Fairy Kingdom years. the villagers crept carefully, knowing they faced great danger at their destination, which was just not in sight. The shack in the swamp. The one belonging to the scientist. Their leader clutched his pitchfork, mustering up every ounce of bravery he could and shouted, "Het's get 'em, boys!" They rushed the house, only to see the door fly open and an old man with spiky blue hair wearing a labcot staring at them with splotchy, drunk eyes."
the men stopped in their tracks.
"This is my swamp! I'm Pickle Rick!"
The villagers charged, but with a tap on his watch mounted computer and a laser gun came out of his ass and killed them all.
His grandson came out of the shack. The old scientist burped.
"Morty! Morty! You've got to listen to me Morty! Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me, Morty! ou aren't the sharpest tool in the shed..." he belched again "MuhmuhMorty. Morty, you're looking kinda dumb morty, Kinda really dumb, with your fingers and your thumb in" he belched again "It's in the shape of an L on your forehead!"
"Ah gee Rick!"
"It's ok Morty. Cause the years, the years morty, they start coming but they don't stop coming. You can't ever stop them Morty. they're always coming!Fed, Morty, fed like chopped fish to the rules and" he belched again" you hit the ground running, Morty! Never made sense not to live for fun! You're brain may get smart, Morty, but your head gets dumb! Dumb like the kind of palooka who'd riot over sauce because they trusted a cartoon just because people swore in the cartoon! Swear words, Morty! Like shit and whore! Palooka! Palooka is my new catch phrase, Morty!" he belched again "So much to do, to do, Morty! So much to see! So what's wrong with taking the backstreet, huh Morty? What's Wrong with that? You little shit! You'll never know Morty! You'll never know a goddamn thing if you don't go! You'll never shine if you don't glow, Morty!"
"Aw gee Rick, I don't know about that."
"Shut up Morty! I'm a rock star! Gonna get my show on! Go play, Morty! I'm an Allstar, morty! I'm gonna get my game on and get paid! Paid, Morty! Giant stacks of green money! All that glitters is gold, morty I've been all around the universes, and it's the same everywhere. Kill 50 women, nobody cares. But you rob one little bank and they're gonna nail your ass. All that glitters is gold, Morty. Only shooting stars break the mold." He belched again "Come on, let's go to the castle and sort these villagers out I'm tired of them bothering us."
They set out to the castle, and along the way found themselves in a field of sunflowers.
"Wow Rick! These flowers! Real pretty huh? Really make you appreciate the beauty of nature, doesn't it?"
"Sure Morty. It's a cool place. Whatever. But when the sun goes down they say it gets colder. Think it's bad now, Morty? You think you know pain? Wait til you get older. Even if the radioman begs to differ, judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getitng pretty thin, Morty! Pretty darn tootin thin! We're all gonna sink, so you might as well learn to swim morty. this world is shit! this is hell, it's on fire. How about yours? How about your world Morty."
"I just like these sunflowers, Rick."
"Whatever morty. At least fire is interesting. That's the way I like it and I never get bored."
A muffin man came up to Rick and Morty
"Can you spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place."
Rick scoffed, "Whoooah little guy! Wow! What a concept ! Where'd you get that one, stupid school? You think you're the only one with problems? I could use a little fuel myself. And we could all use a little change. You know, the years stop coming and they dont stop coming fed to the rules and I hit the ground running never made sense nevermade sense nevermadesensenevermadesensenevermadesenseneverm4des3ns3
