do you. do you think that gem trying to keep control over conversations and general situations is a result of everything that happened in secret life. like, she was forced to take on roles, decisions and tasks that she didnt want (leadership that she despised, losing her eye, the boogey task that she literally couldn’t refuse, killing scott, how everything ended with pearl) losing control over her own life until the very end so now she's just. she's just trying to prevent that from happening. because last time she ended up confused and hurt and alone and she can’t let that happen again. she can’t let herself fall like that again. and all this showing itself so strongly with pearl in wild life. pearl, who she still loves but can’t just forgive her, because gem wants closure. gem cares so much for pearl it’s asphyxiating but at the same time, allowing herself to just be is leaving herself vulnerable, like she did in secret life. and we all know how secret life ended. gem so openly loved and it didnt matter. so maybe this is the best for them, in gem's eyes, because they cant get closure now.
this all to say that gem has denied herself from her own happiness. i fear things wont end well for her
oh yeah, a 100%. i joked before that despite gem's very adapting nature in the games, she almost never actually succeded on her secret tasks UNTIL she was red, infamously where people tend to lose the ties to each other. for her character, the tasks were pretty much a non-issue until they cost her the game
gem doesn't like her infamy in the series (she always brought up how much of a peaceful green she was, even when her actions showed otherwise, and she literally painted a target onto herself). this infamy makes her feared and was what allowed her web of connections, but she never really wants these for the powet ut provides. just for the control she gets out of it.
because the second she can't foresee and control things around her, her social game falls apart and gem's only other advantage becomes her pvp
i love gem's pov, but the family's social game came from the two of them being a very powerful and skilled duo, not their ability to read and direct the social landscape. most of gem's secondary allies were in it bc they don't want to be on her bad side and gem is notorolious not a good liar, which makes it harder for her to mantain that facade (unlike our resident social players like scar, bigb and scott)
and honestly? that is gem shines the most. when her talking doesn't get what she needs, she turns to threats. when she is killed down to yellow, she doesn't get mad. she rejoices, she runs to joel to show off how she can kill now. she is more in control in yellow than in green, why would she be mad about it?
she craves control bc it means safety, means she can trust herself more than others. means that she doesn't need to get attached just to get hurt
