This week I’ve been struggling a little. Or a lot. And I didn’t know who or how to express my confusion too... who could give me advice, who would judge me, who would just listen and say nothing... Of course it just stays bottled up in me, as usual. But I came across and astrology post- which I think are bogus, truly. But you always look for the lols of it. And though I do not believe this describes any person that was born under my star sign, I thought this described how my behavior has been manifesting for the past week or so.
SCORPIO outward: intimidating, magnetic, overtly sexual, hard to approach for many people but everyone wants to approach them anyway, impossible to ignore, often effortlessly the center of attention, masterful in their chosen disciplines, influential inward: controlled by their emotions, constantly questioning themselves, seeking approval from others, can often be self-destructive, obsessive, determined, self-interested, sensitive, fighting spirit
Now I am not conceited enough to think about myself as someone who people are drawn too. But I would say I’m often too loud to ignore, and that sometimes creates a center of attention (in both negative and positive ways). I also would say that I aspire to be the best at what I have chosen, and influence those around me. Those traits manifest out of me in sub and conscious ways.But the inward traits are pretty spot on, and often times influence my “outward traits.” This past week I have been controlled by my emotions, constantly questioning my emotions, actions, and choices. I have acted in ways that though still true to myself and beliefs were more driven by wanting the approval of others, rather than seeking to be true, honest and good. I AM self-destructive, obsessive, and self-interested. These traits CAUSE each other. I am constantly interested in maintaining what I want, getting what I want and feeling good about it. The doubts I've had about my choices and future come from external and internal sources, but my inability to control my emotions and doubts make me reckless, I choose to do something that can lead me away from being true, honest and good, can tempt me with selfish desires. In turn I am sensitive, and self aware of this, which drives me into another realm of emotions and self-doubt. There is a constant battle inside of me choosing what I want, what is good for me and what is good for others. I know that understanding myself can help me. But I see the circular issues I have, and the circular way of dealing with them, but a circle never ends. And I wonder how I can change my shape.
