Frankly speaking: Adam was not always the world’s lightest sleeper. Sometimes his own nightmares happening so often had him just...so wiped out, he slept through everything. But so much of the time, he was awake at the drop of the hat, afraid of hurting his partner--TJ--in the throes of a violent dream.
But it was Adam’s turn now to be the one woken by another’s dreaming.
The distressed noises, the shifting that turned to flailing...Adam knew them too well. Softly, he called, “TJ. TJ, baby.” He tried to catch the pianist’s hands with his own as he made soothing sounds. “I’m right here, love. You’re okay. I’m here with you.”
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He loved the sound and smell of rain, the temperature change. It was soothing, and he loved the cool water on his skin if he got caught in the rain. In fact: he was laughing when he and TJ ran for cover as the skies opened up after their night out, having dinner and catching a comedy show.
But the thunder?
Well, that was one way to wipe the smile from his face. It had Adam ducking his head and covering sensitive ears with his hands at the explosion of sound maybe...10 kilometres away. His forehead pressed to TJ’s shoulder as they stood huddled under an awning, an eave, something that sheltered them from the rain, and he sucked in a deep breath.
“Well...can’t say the evening was boring, can we?” Adam tried to joke.
To be perfectly honest, there were a few things that made staying in America enjoyable after his parents uprooted their family to take up new jobs. Just for a little while, they said. ‘A little while’ had quickly become three years now.
The first of what made life in this different environment enjoyable was Great-Aunt Peggy. Despite her refusal to get rid of some of the more embarrassing photos from his childhood, the old lady was a doll. It was fun to have lunch with her, see her on weekends.
One of the other things that Adam enjoyed about this supposedly temporary stay was a friendship he had formed, with a somewhat unlikely friend.
TJ Hammond.
Adam blew his hair out of clear, violet eyes and scanned the area for his friend. At some point, he’d stopped questioning just how their paths managed to collide at this school. Now he just enjoyed the time spent with TJ, and...somewhat enjoyed TJ’s other friends.
“If you’re late, I’m not waiting,” he muttered. And he meant it. Mostly.
The steady beeping of monitoring equipment was more than a little grating at this point. It stung at his ears, and Adam fought to keep from squeezing the hand he held. This poor man...he'd only recently fallen asleep again. A sigh escaped from Adam at the thought while his free hand reached up to brush along the side of TJ's face, then through the sleeping man's hair. It was TJ's own damned decisions and actions that led them here, to Adam spending his evening at the side of his friend he cared so much about, to TJ sleeping there with an IV embedded in his arm and all those monitor lines trailing from his body to machines aggravating Adam's nerves.
As he stroked TJ's cheek, Adam felt the dampness of the older man's earlier tears. Yes: this was TJ's doing. But Adam's heart ached for him. It wasn't easy to live in TJ's life. Sighing, he wiped at the dampness with one hand, his other hand holding that of the unconscious man. Was TJ cold? Was his bed comfortable? And why, for God's sake, wasn't TJ's family here? He didn't give a shit that Elaine Barrish was the president of the United States. She should be here for her son, or her ex-husband should, or their other son. It tore at Adam. TJ lay here with nobody but his friend at his side--a friend whom he'd kissed before falling asleep again, a friend who now leaned in to kiss TJ's cheek.
When he'd had that vision earlier...doctors talking about time of death, TJ's bloodless face, his lifeless body...Adam had jerked awake with a strangled noise, gulping for air before lurching his way out of bed just as his phone began calling out GW was ringing in. He didn't answer though. He snagged clothes, jerked them on, picked up his phone and wallet on the way, and slammed his way out of his apartment. Was his vision true? He didn't want to hear the words if it was, and if it was coming true right now. If he received confirmation, Adam might well break down. He couldn't even compose himself enough to call for a cab. It was luck that had him find a cab without wandering for a while. And when he finally made it there, found out what room was TJ's, and rushed his way there...well, Adam damned near collapsed anyways in relief.
TJ was alive.
Adam sighed now and cupped TJ's cheek. No matter how TJ's apology and tears had hurt, it was better than dealing with the pianist's dead body. TJ's head still turned into Adam's caress in his sleep. He was still warm when Adam carefully climbed up onto the bed with his friend (and crush), his chest still rose and fell under the Oracle's hand. He might not be safe right now, but he was alive.
A soft sigh escaped as Adam brushed his nose against TJ's neck and settled in for the duration. He'd offer up a prayer of thanks later for the fact his friend was alive. Right now: he was going to pull his coat up over his shoulders and sleep as best he could in this little hospital bed with TJ. It hadn't been the most restful night, after all.
When Bud Hammond finally got away from his responsibilities long enough to return to his oldest son's side, he was more than a little frazzled. Sure: politics had a way of coming first for him. But TJ was his son. And the last time this had happened...well, Bud wasn't likely to forget any time soon how it felt to find his son unconscious, pale, covered in sick, and on the verge of death. So tonight, the former president worked his ass off to clear his schedule so he could return to his son's room. Elaine couldn't get away, and Doug was in no fit shape after being the one to find TJ collapsed this time. Bud repressed a shudder over what his younger son must have felt at that moment.
He was almost to the door of TJ's room when one of the guards lifted his hand to get Bud's attention. Dale, Bud thought. "He has a visitor right now," Dale murmured. "A friend he's recently been spending more time with, I think."
The former president lifted his eyebrows in wordless question, to which Dale shrugged. Sadly, it wasn't all that usual for TJ to have friends who would actually would visit him in hospital. Most of TJ's friends over the years had been little shits-for-brains more concerned with his money and connexions, his name, than with TJ himself, and the thought brought a scowl to his father's face.
What met his gaze when he entered the room was not what Bud Hammond expected though.
Instead of someone who looked bored, wanted to get out of there, someone fidgety and furtive, nobody sat in the chair or wandered the room. There was a figure curled up in the bed with TJ instead. Long-haired, pale, a leg thrown over TJ's, a coat up around their shoulders. There was stubble on what parts of their face weren't hidden in TJ's neck. This young man who slept with his mouth slightly open and his head on TJ's shoulder looked exhausted and like he'd run his hands through his hair a few times.
And as Bud watched, the young man nuzzled into his son's neck, dropped a kiss there, and his arm squeezed around TJ's waist. The sight made the former president's chest ache where he stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.
Well...maybe there was one bright spot in this shitfuck they found themselves in today.
Looked like maybe TJ'd found a good young man. One who really loved him.
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Fuck. Adam knew better. He should know better, he should have handled it better. Being tired was no excuse. Being worried was no excuse. He was still numb as TJ snatched the bag up and threw it across the room.
“TJ...” Adam pushed himself up and started across the room, halting partway. Would TJ even accept him right now? After all: Adam fucked up. TJ slipped. Once, he said. Maybe Adam was a fool, but...he wanted to trust TJ. He didn’t want to be one of those people who thought a tiger never changing its stripes could apply to people.
But his boyfriend sobbing galvanised Adam to finish crossing the room, fully intending to pull TJ into a hug. He fully intended to apologise. His mouth was even opening to say the words, to apologise and ask about TJ’s mother. He was gathering up the breath when TJ said words guaranteed to make Adam’s chest ache fiercely.
“TJ. TJ, no, please, stop!” Adam trailed after the sound of that voice which was so beautiful when happy, excited, relaxed, or sleepy, but which now made him ache with the raw edge to it. He reached out, wanting to grab his boyfriend’s arm. “I’m sorry, TJ. I fucked up. Okay, I shouldn’t have accused you like that.” He could explain about having a rough day, being exhausted, but those were excuses. And TJ deserved better. He deserved the simple, heartfelt apology. “Don’t go, please. You have to know I’ll just follow you. Because I don’t give a shit about those things you think I could do without you. I want to do the things I can do with you. What we can do.” He breathed in slowly and held it for a moment.
“Please...stay...can we try to talk about this? Figure this out together? This...stuff with your mum wanting to meet me...and how we can try to avoid this happening again? Because I don’t want to let you walk out the door because of one bump in the road. I want to stick with you.”
“There’s something bothering you that you’re not telling me and I can see it slowly destroying you. What happened?”
@gayfirstson | OTP: dreaming of piano keys
How could he tell? How could TJ tell how Adam was feeling, and how could Adam even tell TJ what he had seen? He sighed and raked his hair back before tugging TJ with him over to the couch, sinking down and urging his boyfriend into his lap.
“I just...I Saw something. It doesn’t have to do with you but it was...I hate this.” Adam buried his face in TJ’s neck, arms going around his lover’s waist. “I hate being unable to tell you what’s going on. I hate...waking up...and freaking you out some nights. I want to be normal for you. I want to be able to see again, so I can fucking see when you smile and tell you how bloody beautiful you are!”
A ragged breath was sucked in before Adam bit his lower lip and hugged TJ hard. Fuck...this wasn’t what TJ needed from him. His arms gentled, and his hands rubbed down TJ’s back.
“I’ll be okay. Just...just give me a little time...like this...”
