#gay classification

My little sister and I were driving around the city to meet up with a few of our mutual friends for Sangria night when the topic of dating and relationships came up.  She was having issues with the fact that she just got out of a relationship and immediately entered another one but wasn't sure if she was happy being in the relationship or if she just wants to be single.

I asked her if the new guy (who I met and actually really like and get along with) was her type and making her happy and she said yes kind of reluctantly.  Somehow she then turned the conversation around to me and asked me "Well what's your type?"

I replied back, "I don't know really." "Well your dating history is kind of sporadic, there really isn't much similarity to any of them."  she replied "Yeah, I mean there are a few linking factors, but they're just minor." I answered. "Well what are you into?"  She asked.  "Like are you into the bears? Or twinks? Wolves? Jocks? Cubs?" "Wait what?" I looked at her confused. "Well I mean I see you dating Asians a lot.  and White guys too." She said. "Where the hell did you learn all these terms?" I said with a crack in my voice. "I read it somewhere.  You know what I'm talking about right?" "Well yeah I know what you're talking about, but I didn't expect you to know."

I was somewhat confused and a really impressed that she knew the terms.  Unlike straight people who have to describe attributes and features of what their type is, we really just have to say a classification and we instantly get what the other person is talking about.

The gay world is kind of like the early scene of Mean Girls when Kady is being introduced to the cliques of the cafeteria.  It's because we really like to classify each other based on appearance and then really stick to those classifications.  I mean there is some blending and different gay species do mix and mingle with each other, but how likely are you going to find a homiesexual hanging out with a circuit kid and a twink at 80's night at the BOC? (if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll describe some gay species later).

These classifications typically go with appearance but also into interests and preferences as well.  Now I'm not saying the entire gay world of San Francisco is segregated based on what one identifies or is identified as (since most of the time its not really what YOU want to be identified as but what others identify you as), but that's the scene.  Welcome to being gay.

Again these classifications are based on stereotypes or perceived stereotypes.  Isn't that great?  As a community we get stereotyped by the world and then we pin each other into further stereotypes.

It doesn't help that many clubs and events (not all mind you) advertise themselves either directly (i.e. Dragon - the gay asian paradise or Leche - the Papi t-dance) or indirectly (i.e. certain models chosen for posters or the location that the event is being held at) to certain types of gay.  Which I mean is a marketing strategy and isn't a bad one either because people like to be around people they are comfortable with and typically share the same interests and typically look the same as you.

Personally, I don't mind being categorized as long as the stereotype doesn't speak for me (not sure if that makes sense but it makes sense in my head).  That's when it becomes problematic, when we assume something on someone we don't know just because they fit into a certain stereotype.  But i mean really this speaks for anyone, whether they're gay or straight or anywhere in between.

So let me be a hypocrite right now and define some of these sub genres of gays based on appearance, behavior, habitat (you know, where they like to go in the city) and preferences (such as dating attractions, music tastes, etc).  Not saying that all or any of it is true or at least true to who YOU are, just the stereotypes that we have.

The Twink - The twink is your basic young (typically 18-25) who can pass for that barely legal look.  Some are out right flamboyant while most are just boyish/innocent-like by nature.  Slim or slender is their body type and if they're muscular, it's more of a toned physic as oppose to a well built body.

The Daddy - Like the name implies, it's an older man sexually involved in a relationship or having a sexual interest in a younger man. The age gap may differ, but the relationship involves the traditional parental hierarchy of father-son dynamics, the daddy providing emotional support and guidance along with sexual encouragement and nurturing to the inexperienced and vulnerable partner.

The Bear - Bears tend to have hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set; some project an image of working-class masculinity in their grooming and appearance, though none of these are requirements or unique indicators. Some bears place importance on presenting a hypermasculine image and may shun interaction with, and even disdain, men who exhibit effeminacy.  Typically they're also older looking as well

The Chub - A chub is defined as a large, overweight, or obese man.  Similar to the bear, except typically not as hairy.

The Cub - A younger version of a bear.

The Wolf - A hairy (body hair and usually facial hair as well) masculine man, but unlike the bear, is not heavy set and typically muscular and toned.

The Otter - A skinny version of a bear or a wolf but without the muscle.

The Homiesexual - A gay who follows hip hop and urban culture/trends.  Typically listens to hip hop and dresses like a hypebeast (i.e. sagging skinny jeans, plaid shirt, fitted caps, etc).  Most likely part of a hip hop dance crew (or pretends to be).

The Homothug -A homosexual or queer identifying male who dresses, appears and partakes in such activities as would a thug. His attire is stereotypical of hip-hop and street fashion. He may speak with a street slang and present a rough exterior. He can be either butch or femme.  Unlike the homiesexual (who typically come from the the suburbs) are actually from urban settings.

The Guppie - A gay yuppie (or young urban professional).  Guppies typically are upward moving in a well paying career, social, well educated, cultured, well dressed, and socially aware.  May be a little snobbish.

The Divo - Typically following trends or taking trends and altering them to own personal style, the divo is deeply into fashion and clothes.  Very focused on appearance, socializing, and attitude.  Typically has a sassy and somewhat over the top persona.  Admires and may even idolize celebrities and strives to be like one.

The Glitterati Gay - Similar to the divo, however much more extreme in style of dress, attitude, socializing, etc.

The Jock (or gym rat) - Typically straight-acting and masculine, a muscular gay who typically is into sports and has that all-american boy look to them.  Attends the gym regularly

Club kid (or circuit kid) - Someone deeply involved into the party scene.  Attends circuit parties, t-dances, raves and other clubbing events quite frequently and thus very well connected with promoters, bartenders, club staff, and even owners.

Gaymer - Someone typically into gaming or may be perceived as a someone who is into gaming.  Somewhat of a nerdy type.

Troll - an unattractive older gay man

Now I know there are more, but these are the only ones I can remember right now.  There are also variations based on race. Any questions?  Go ahead and leave it in my ask box.