We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.

"No" is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you… Declining to hear "no" is a signal that someone is either seeking control or refusing to relinquish it.

We have to teach young people that "No" is a complete sentence.

“When dreaded outcomes are actually imminent we don't worry about them, we take action. Seeing lava from the local volcano make its way down the street toward our house does not cause worry it causes running. Also we don't usually choose imminent events as subjects for our worrying and thus emerges an ironic truth: Often the very fact that you are worrying about something means that it isn't likely to happen.”