#gatoradeandnaps

our deep conversations, where we spill our souls out to each other. I have these thoughts roaming around and nobody to channel them to. You always seem to understand them even when they didn’t even make sense to me. 

You miss a friend far more than they miss you. I always felt he meant more to me than I would ever mean to him. I mean he’s depressed and emotionless. I just wish he missed me a little more. Maybe then the hole my in soul wouldn’t hurt so bad. 

Yup, the moment my friends were downstairs and not even out the door I was already bawling my eyes out. It was so hard to say goodbye tonight. They all knew something was wrong despite my insisting everything was okay. Their goodnight hugs were all a little longer and a little tighter tonight. It was so hard to keep it together. Needless to say I wasn't able to make any eye contact.

For months I have wondered. A few months back I searched the case, but in order to get trial verdicts I was told I had to contact the court to receive them. It just seemed like so much effort. I took it as a sign not to look into it. Today our mutual friend said there was another trial today. I asked her to keep me updated. Her response was, “he (the murderer) is having his lawyer claim he is psychologically unstable to buy himself more time”, she continued to stay, “ but he's not. He's not actually mental. He's going to try and plea insanity to get any easier sentence and pitty. Bastard”. At first I brushed it off. After all, I never knew Kyle well. I only met him a couple of times... but now that the reality has sunk in. I am annoyed, irritated, at a rage with myself at life. I am silently sitting here on tumblr while a few friends are over for dinner. I never do this shit. But fuck. I HATE that everyone always gets off easy in the justice system due to overpopulation, good behavior, insanity pleas, etc. It always fucking happens. every single time, including friends of mine who were on the side behind bars. This is driving me fucking nuts.