#gasman199

that probly means something

yes

i know im kinda late for saying this and you probably don't want to talk to me, i would had done this sooner but i didn't know what to say. Well i must say that one doesn´t realize how important things are to itself until they are gone, that's what is going on right now, im feeling empty. once i promised that the next time i caused pain in someone i care,i would cut my own hand to prevent me from causing more pain. i guess i should be doing that now, but i wont, isnt the right way to act about this.

I would like just to try to explain what lead to this and whats going on my side of the screen: Well first of all im graduating this year and well, since im going to a new school i wont be able to see my real life friends much longer which is a depressing factor because well it just hurts to not see your friends again (hurts to lose you guys as well). then well i found out recently about a plan some asshole in my school has to pretty much isolate me and turn my friends against me which worked for around a year and a half as well to aid the bullying against me in school. well after been living like this for a while being bullied almost daily and your friends just leaving you, one becomes paranoid at some sorts and to add up im the kind of guy who if loves something or likes someone as a friend or more well just wont let go easily, making me kinda overprotective and finally well im having some family issues i rather not post on tumblr.

You sum up all this and you get a paranoid little ball of fear and grumpyness (ehh couldnt think of a better word sorry) that why i acted as i did. Of course im not really expecting that you guys believe me, after all you got reasons to not to, but i needed to explain, i don't know if worth anything but im telling the truth.(if you want more details you could send me a private message on skype.)

I just wanted to say im sorry, for everything, i don't know if i can do anything to fix up my errors but i just hope you don't hold hard feelings on me. so i hope you really forgive me. You can pass judgement on me after all you got all rights to do so, if you don't want to ever see me or you want me to disappear from your life that's alright as well.

i cant think how repay all you have done for me, minerva that gave me that deviant art premium, raven that gave me fallout 3 and oblivy who helped me get a A in English class and not to mention all the support you guys gave me, i feel like a monster to been so mean with you guys, i don´t think i can look at my reflection in the mirror without feeling guilt.

I been thinking looking for a solution and i think the best for all of us is that i just left i mean, im probably going to fuck up again, and well i odnt want to hurt any of you no more, i don't think i would be able to look at your Skype and type without bring me my self down due the memory that i hurt a friend. if you still want to talk to me i wont stop you from doing so, i actually i would like to know you had forgiven me. all im saying is that i wont be around group chats such as sintio since well i don't think i can just come up with all of you like nothing happen.

i hope you all understand.