#gary heather

So this is the first post in what I hope to be a new series of posts that I’m going to try to do. (Have I said that before? About other things? Oh god, maybe I have. I have a tendency to start something enthusiastically and then immediately forget about it and sometimes even forget it ever even existed?) I will really try to not let that happen here.

ANYWAY, what I’d like to do here is talk about the new things I’ve done this month. In the old days, I’d devote whole posts to individual things that I’ve loved or hated, but honestly, some times a few sentences could suffice. So here are some of the things that I’ve encountered in the month of May.

I dry cleaned my winter coat and packed it away for the season. Do you do this when winter's over? You should. 

I really don’t go to the movies a lot anymore and I miss not going. I used to go constantly when I was younger, but the real fun of that was because I was going with my brother Robbie. There were a solid fews years in the early 00’s where we’d see everything that was playing in any given theatre. Just for the sake of seeing a movie. I mean, we had a lot of free time then so it just made sense. I go so rarely now that I really need to want to see a movie to get me into a theatre now. Thus, seeing RBG was an active decision, and a great one at that. I knew nothing of the woman before seeing it, and the trailer made it look great, so of course it was. If you’re a fan of women at all, you should see it.

I ate the banana bread with espresso mascarpone at Two Hands in Soho. And whoa. Here it is.

Above: Banana Bread with Espresso Mascarpone from Two Hands

I ate the fried chicken at Blue Ribbon Chicken. I know so little about good fried chicken, but this was pretty incredible. Maybe a smidge more expensive than I thought it should be, but a kid’s meal was a decently priced & sized pre-meal.

I attempted to read Jenny Lawson’s Let's Pretend This Never Happened and I really didn't care for it. I lasted about ten pages then gave up. I’m probably being too harsh here, but I found her tone… irritating. Also, not to boast or anything, but I’m a tiny bit proud of being able to put a book down and inwardly say, “No, thanks.”

I tried Farsali's Jelly Beam Highlighter. I'd never heard of the brand, but they have a tiny section at Sephora that has, like, three items. No idea why. Especially because the highlighter itself is pretty incredible. I bought it solely because of the fact that it was a “jelly” (meaning that it jiggles) highlighter because I’m simple and that sounded fun. I think it looks especially amazing on collarbones.

Nathan and I ate at Rosemary’s in the west village on my monthly Nathan-must-date-me night. He got the roast chicken and I got a kale and celery caesar salad. His chicken was insanely good and my salad just reminded me why celery should never be a main ingredient. It’s not its fault, it doesn’t know any better, but humans should know enough to understand that chomping on celery in any form sucks. Restaurant was beautiful and if I ordered better, I’d have more glowing things to say. My fault.

I went for dinner at L’Artusi with a friend and had probably one of the top five best meals I've ever had in this city. We did wait awhile for a table, but we didn't have a reservation and it was a Saturday night so duh. We ordered one of the specials as an appetizer (the steak tartare) which was incredible then followed it with the insane garganelli with mushroom ragu that I will remember for the rest of my life. They also sent out a kale ravioli that was mind-blowing. And I'm not typically inclined to call kale-ANYthing "mind-blowing," so understand me clearly here. These pastas will change you. I can't wait to take more people here. The service was incredible. I really can't say enough good things about this place. Go nowhere else for pasta.

I finally went to the Birch Coffee near my house and I'll keep this brief. A small iced coffee shouldn't cost $4 in 2018. A coffee shop should have a bathroom. A coffee shop that is "wifi free" shouldn't boast about that fact. Any business that is "cashless" is obnoxious and nobody likes you. The coffee tasted all right. That is all.

I got the banana-chocolate pudding at Magnolia Bakery. Remember how much I already love the original banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery? Yeah, this one is better. It just is. Of course it is. Adding chocolate to something that was already perfect just makes sense. Give the people what they want.

Tried some of the burger and the chicken sandwich at The Spotted Pig and MEH. I mean, yeah, they were good, but they’re ungodly expensive for what’s being put on your plate. And those skinny little fries that are piled up like a mountaintop? Deceiving. They tasted like air! They look like they're gonna be amazing, but you're left with a feeling of emptiness inside. Emptiness and hunger. A fry should taste like a fry. Basic physics here, guys. The main reason we went was because it was after midnight and for some reason their kitchen stays open late (possibly only to swindle you with $26 burgers when nothing else in the area is an option?)

Got an advance screening pass to the movie Gotti. I went. I lasted 25 minutes and then left. Good god, DID IT BLOW. But of course it did. Why didn’t I know that going in? Well, I kinda did but it was free. Wow, was it terrible, though. Comes out next month on the 15th. Don't go.

Last month I heard about Gofobo, which is a site that arranges free movie screenings near you and emails you to see if you want to go, it's amazing. I heard about it right before Nathan and I saw A Quiet Place last month (for free), so I just stayed on their mailing list. Unfortunately they also sent me my Gotti tickets, but I won't hold that against them since I'm the idiot who said, "Gotti? Sure, that seems fun!"

Tried the Ginger Scallion Noodles (with pickled shiitakes, cucumber, nori) at Momofuku Noodle Bar. I’ve been here only once before, years ago, and I really just was in a noodle mood so I came again. It wasn’t terrible, but again, I think I ordered bad. I really wanted the Chilled Spicy Noodles (with sichuan sausage, Thai basil, cashews) but I was dissuaded by my waiter because he said it was overly spicy and then made a face. But then I got a look at it when someone else ordered it and knew I should’ve gotten it because it looked amazing, so I’ll get it next time and then tell you if it’s too spicy. Also, the Soju Slushie that is Spicy Lychee flavored was crazy good. Although that makes sense to me because when I went here years ago, their Singapore Sling slushie was also pretty memorable. 

I went in looking for the s'mores pie slice that I've wanted to try for ages, but instead found the salted caramel brownie from Dean & DeLuca. And wow. Just wow.

I finished watching Ugly Delicious on Netflix. I really can’t remember why I put this off for so long, considering how much I like well-shot food shows. For the most part, I thought it was all right, I wrote down a few food recommendations from it (like Lucali in Brooklyn). There were a few parts that made me not really like David Chang, though. They were such small parts, but I don’t know, they stayed with me. Like how during this one segment where he’s doing pizza deliveries alongside a real Dominoes delivery person, they’re going to a bunch of houses and then at the end David goes, “Are we done? Yeah, I’m not doing another fucking delivery.” I don't know, I'm probably reading too much into it, but I just hated the way he said that right infront of the grown man delivery guy. It was rude and belittling and I really didn't like it. As I said, I'm probably reading too much into it, but it bothered me. Other than that souring part, it was an all right series to watch. There were lame parts sprinkled here and there. I feel like I progressively liked it less as each episode went on and I don’t really know why. You know what the problem is? I think he just thinks he’s really cool and funny and doesn’t have a real sense of self and if he were a little more humble or warm as a person, it could’ve helped the overall tone of the series. 

I also started watching Bill Hader's Barry on HBO because my brother Gary told me to. I'm only three episodes in and it's pretty good I guess? I mean, it is. I just haven't decided if I'll watch on or not.

Nathan and I have started watching The Twilight Zone (on Netflix) and it's one of the best shows I've seen in such a long time. Obviously not every episode is a great one, but the ones that are? Watch out. We've seen about 40 episodes or so already and there have been at least 20 really great ones, and we're only a quarter of the way through the series. Love watching these at night before bed. This was the final quote from a recent episode we watched that I just loved, "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own - for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to The Twilight Zone." I mean, that's pretty good, yeah?! Love Rod Serling's voice so much, too. Such a great show. I wish I'd seen it when I was a kid.

Writing all of this down makes it seem like I have a great life, when in reality... oh my god I do. Excited for June!

I'm not sure why friend anniversaries aren't as recognized as romantic ones, but I vow to change that. I guess they're less common because it's harder to pinpoint the exact moment upon which you became friends with someone. Thankfully, I met one of my closest friends Jenn when my brother Gary was visiting me, so I know the exact date and year - which happens to have been eight years ago today!

We have taken many trips and videos together and I'm thankful as hell to have this fine woman in my life.

GUEST POST! I asked my brother Gary to write a post on whatever he liked, so off we go!

As I write this, the heat of a radiator fills the room and a fire is roaring about 8 feet away, but in spite of these incendiary sources, every part of me is cold.  I thought I knew what it meant to be cold coming from Canada; a place I lived my entire life before moving here to Glasgow this past summer.  In Canada we have extremes, but in this large, 14-ft ceilinged apartment, the temperature rarely changes no matter what happens outside.  On the rare hot days, it’s still cold inside our place.  On cold days, just as cold.  When it’s raining - cold.  Sunny?  Cold.  It doesn’t change in here, it’s as if there’s some sort of force field around the apartment that maintains the internal temperature.  Somehow, the interior walls are also always cold, and they radiate this steady chill that permeates through to your bones and just stays there.

For those that don’t know, about a year ago my wife and son upped and left our lives in Toronto to try out a new adventure across the pond here in the UK.  I took an extended leave from my television career of 9 years, we sold or stored all of our stuff, leased out our condo, and just left.  Since the wheels touched down at Belfast International (where we lived for the first half of the year), I’ve been thinking about the reasons behind why we embarked on this journey in the first place. The answers differ daily depending upon my emotional state - from the exciting highs of cruising through some of the most beautiful landscape I’ve ever seen to the depressing lows once I realized we couldn’t get a good poutine anywhere.

It’s different when you come here for a vacation, obviously, as a week or two is just enough time to find all the little quirky things very appealing.  Like the different words for things – they say ‘maths’ instead of math, the 5pm meal (what we call dinner in Canada) is called ‘tea’ here, the meal at noon (our lunch) is called ‘dinner’.  The ‘toilet’ refers to the whole bathroom.  ‘Biscuits’ are any type of cookie, and biscuits as we know them at home don’t exist.  A picnic basket is called a ‘hamper’.  ‘Pants’ mean underwear for some reason.  There’s just so many of these, where it’s not just a different word, it’s a different usage of the same word.  The thing about prolonged exposure to this environment is that there is a constant stream of these new word meanings that you keep on learning as time goes on.  It hasn’t stopped yet and I’m not sure when and if it ever will. That’s the quirk about it all; it’s not like a new language, it’s basically people telling you that blue is really red or up is really down – and you’re just supposed to believe them.

Somewhat unsurprisingly though, the thing I miss the most is any sort of support system.  Families, friends, colleagues - all gone.  In spite of Skype and letters and email, I may as well be on Mars with the feeling of disconnect I have.  From simple things like having someone available to watch Camden to being able to easily chat with someone I see pretty much every day, to spending time with friends at the cottage and thanksgiving with the family.  It’s rough not being able to do these things.  I’m sure in time, probably years from now, I can build a type of support system here, but I don’t think it will ever be the same.  Homesickness has given way to the realization that we are alone here, and it’s the loneliness that is starting to get to me.

So will we stay?  I can’t say yet - even though it’s been almost a year I still consider it early days.  The people I’ve met here are very friendly, welcoming and open.  The companies I’ve worked for and with and have been fantastic and I’ve been lucky to have worked on some big-name projects and with some exceptionally creative and talented individuals.

One thing I can say about this journey is that I do not regret embarking upon it; I complain about the UK’s quirks and whine about missing Canada, but I generally expected to feel that way coming into it.  Taking a chance doing this was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t go back and make a different decision for any reason.  It pains me that I hurt some people I love to take this chance, but in the end I know I would’ve always regretted it if I didn’t try.  It was a question I asked my sister many years ago when she was considering moving to New York – I asked if she would regret not moving there if she didn’t, knowing what she may miss out on if she stayed in Toronto.  She knew the answer – we both did.

It’s safe and easy to live your life according to external expectations, but it has the potential to leave you with regrets.  These days I get to spend most of my time with my son and my wife, take long walks around a city looking at beautiful architecture, eat amazing food, play video games, write 2 different blogs, develop shows with creators and companies from around Europe and the UK, and edit wedding Marryoke videos.  I didn’t even know what a Marryoke video was before coming here, they’re pretty fun to cut.  Meanwhile, Amanda has also embarked on a new career and social path, getting out, meeting people, being a part of various organizations – I’m very proud of how she’s embraced the change in our lives.  Camden is…well…running around bumping into things here just the same as he would back in Canada.

I wouldn’t say Year 1 of our journey has inspired some sort of big epiphany in me, but I do look at the value of relationships a lot differently. I realize now how important human connection is, how important my friends and family really are to me.  I’m getting to a point where I could do my job anywhere on earth with a stable internet connection, and we’ll need to make a decision in the near future about where we finally want to plant some roots.  What will that decision be?  Currently, it’s a question I throw to the ether.  I may not know what that choice is yet, only that it’ll be the one that makes us all truly happy.

Finally, and most importantly, I’d like to thank my sister Liz for a couple of things – one, for asking me to write this guest post on her fantastic blog - and two, for being a part of what inspired me to take this journey in the first place.  Her courage to take a leap into the unknown played no small part in helping push me towards what has been one of the most adventurous, scary, amazing, memorable and important years of my life.

By Gary Heather