Thinking of yandere G1 Decepticons with a human darling. They have no idea how to take care of them and chaos ensues.
Megatron contemplates kidnapping Optimus's humans and interrogating them for information.
They are baffled by the human concept of bathrooms.
"What do you mean a bathroom? Is this another convoluted plot to escape us!?" (Starscream says, because ofc he does.)
Long story short Starscream and Soundwave crash into a random store to scour for this mystical thing called toilet paper that you just must have.
Starscream let's you out before he transforms out of alt-mode, threatening to squish you if you try to run. (He wouldn't. He loves you too much. He also doesn't want to piss off the Decepticons that he will one day (soon) rule.)
Soundwave ejects Rumble and Frenzy to aid you in your journey of walking through the isles. They ask way too many questions throughout and are more of a detractor than a helpful presence.
"What do you humans need so much stuff?"
"Does anything blow up in here?"
"Humans are so weird. You don't even eat energon."
"Oh, look at how shiny these things are!"
Starscream and Soundwave are just awkwardly standing through the broken roof, observing you three.
They hear the irritating, grating, worse noise in the universe (Autobot engines). Looks like toilet paper is the least of their troubles in this moment.