#futurebedboundnerd

I often feel like I'm never going to be big enough, so it's been amazing to see these new videos of myself and have a mild out of body experience* thinking, 'they're huge' and then quickly reminding myself that the huge person in question is indeed me, like, holy shit, wow, that's me, all of that is my body, I really have gotten big. This has been the most gratifying my gain has ever been and I think every extra pound is only going to be more fun from here on out. I finally feel like my body is mine and that I am where I want to be.

I really need to ease up on all the sugar i've been consuming because i'm starting to feel the affects but I'm getting SO huge and don't want to stop : ( Plus there is absolutely nothing quite like being stuffed immobile with a belly full of rich cake, cream and gainer shakes blissed out on the intense sugar high.

My mouth is so sweet from those biscuits and protein shake I had before breakfast but it's lunch time now and I can't say no to the ice-cream shake and cake I have for afterwards 🥵

I've gained so suddenly around my neck and face, that i'm shocked I don't need a CPAP yet… A friend even said that I breath so heavily that I surely must use one already! (ALREADY!? The cheek of it.) Then again, cpaps are so hot, but I think i'd struggle irl to make the leap to begin using one… If I did i'd have to do all I could to keep it a secret from my housemates. Not that a cpap is bad or shameful, far from it, but they'd all know that the reason I needed it was for absolutely ballooning recently, and they've been pretty non-judgmental about my size, eating habits etc. until this most recent gain (for example, they've started looking concerned, and really staring at my gut and commenting about the sudden sharp increase of (delicious) junk in my weekly shop) and I think a cpap might be the end of them letting me have my peace about my gain ahah… being hounded by concerned people isn't hot to me, especially when I sometimes have to rely on them to get my shopping for me, or accompany me to plus size stores.