#furiouschortler

Perfect Victory: "I destroyed you on the track, but I destroyed you harder in a fight, LOSER! You should learn to morph yourself into a BETTER FIGHTER!”

However, if it’s incredibly heavy, he’ll probably just stay inside and bother his family. He’s quite fond with sticking stuff in Ludwig’s hair because he partially believes it leads to a different dimension. He’ll also leave his drawings ALL over the castle walls, much to everyone’s chagrin. 

"What exactly is the purpose of those strange things?" he questioned, his posture shifting some, tugging his cloak against himself. He was unable to stifle the snarl that left him, his maw twitching and exposing his overgrown fang as he continued to speak, "More importantly, you have yet to explain why you are here. I highly doubt this is some leisure stroll, and those things you have do not look like they belong here...So tell me now, what do you want?!"

Taking another bite of her ice cream before it melted, Xion nodded in response to his unvoiced question. "Yeah... Heartless are a strange kind of monster. They're made of darkness and they try to eat hearts. It's Organization XIII's job to get rid of them." Pausing to take another bite and think over the rest of her explanation, she finally decided to continue with the truth. "If we manage to exterminate enough of them, we can all get hearts too. Right now, none of us have any." Setting the plush toy in her lap and bringing her hand over her chest, the girl had to wonder what it would be like to have a real heart... Hopefully Fawful wouldn't mind her being a Nobody, but number XIV couldn't blame him if he did. It was weird to have a friend with no heart.

The Sand Realm was a barren desert devoid of any civilization or useable resources that would prompt any development, so Chancellor Cole was not surprised in the least that Fawful had set up a base of operations in New Hyrule there and that was his current location. This was where they had tested his strange Fawful Express experiment after all. Cole shuddered in memory of that encounter. Never again... With a sharp smell of ozone, the Chancellor of New Hyrule manifested himself out of nowhere with a crackle of electricity. He stumbled, both from the exertion of teleporting such a great distance and because of the sudden change in temperature and wind speed. Gone was the nice cool office and now he was in conditions that were too barbaric for Gorons, let alone him. In his delicate hands, he was clutching the remains of his afternoon tea meal that he said was going to share with Lord Fawful on a little silver tray. And now he wish he didn't. Such delicate little confections were meant to be kept at room temperature and the sugars and the jam-filled centers were already starting to boil. With a sigh, Cole made the tray levitate in the air as he began to fuss with his uniform and comb any stray hairs back in place to make himself look the most presentable for his business partner. As the demon got his bearings and checked his watch, the mawful mole that was standing a mere two feet away from him when he teleported on the scene was still staring at him in disbelief, mouth agape. Cole ignored him. "Well...this is..." Cole let his words whistle past on the sand-filled wind. With an eyebrow raised, his eyes wandered to both Fawful's roller coaster-esque monstrosity that was made out of both parts of the Spirit Tracks themselves and parts made out of materials unknown to Cole and to the fortress of Fawful's own creation. It was hard to describe with words in the English language, other than the fact that anyone who even spent a mere two minutes with Fawful could instantly tell the fortress belonged to him. "Different." he said at last. Picking up the tray of scones from its spot in midair, he hastily put up a small air shield around himself so that the sand would not get in his eyes or, even worse, mess up his manicure and his carefully trimmed mustache.  He always did want progress to happen in New Hyrule, he thought to himself as he began to make his way towards the Fortress. Progress just happened to be crazier than he envisioned it. And with that in mind, he began to trudge across the sands towards Fawful's Fortress of Fun and Horrors.

This is an odd thought to have, but I really don’t want to ever backstab this particular monarch, childish and boorish and hard to understand as he may be, and hope it never turns out that way. Perhaps I can work out a deal with His Royal Majesty Lord Malladus so that he doesn’t try to raze Lord Fawful’s land to the ground when his resurrection is complete.  …wait. Do I consider Fawful a…damn it all, what do they call those? Free Ends? Is Fawful a Free End?Maybe later I’ll invite Fawful over one tea afternoon and have a polite debate on whether the play “Wand of the Gamelon” is better than “The Telling of the Faces of Evil”. That’s what Free Ends do right?And what the hell is Fawful even anyways? I know there are living fungi…