#furesejaunt

My holiday is nearly finishing. Feeling a bit sad yet I need to be responsible in a way I need to strive harder and healthier since the feeling of being blessed to a lot of people is blessing. It's hard to write it into words what I feel right now but I am just very grateful in my life.

Before coming back to the Philippines I had the feeling of being lost because of too much independence I forgot there are people whose there for me and I forgot to be human. It was a blessing that Caryl and Kentoy had their wedding, its probably a reminder for me to have some time to rest even for the short period. I am glad that I was able to talk to people and share my feelings with them. Its normal to be lost in our life as they say. My feelings are valid. Also, it gives me clarity what my plans are. Don't be pressured, just live your own life being happy and content.

Here is a letter I wrote down when I was in the airplane going to Singapore from London. A reminder for me that you might be lost but little by little you'll find your way.

Is there anything you are proud for this month?

If you are gonna asked me, I would say yes. I finally was able to press that button in the Uber eats to ORDER something. You may find it laughable but for me its a big thing. I’m quite thrifty in ordering food online, when you are capable to cook it at home, its pricey and you can cook it more yummier. I did find the courage to do it after my three working nights. I couldn’t do cooking anymore, too tired for it. Lol (Di na kaya besh magluto, gikapoi na). Complete bed rest.

You know, you don’t need to brave and courageous in a big way. Being able to wake up every morning to have the guts to work or anything is already enough, ang hirap kaya humanap ng motivation along that courage. So its very new and be proud of to myself. Oh dba. Hahah…

I’m quite scared what the future might hold. When everything I planned turned out to be unplanned. Stress are coming more frequent these days as the day come nearer. Why Lord? Bakit d lumabas nung previous months?Huhuhu…But I guess this is what everyone say; “Pagsubok!”

I pray that everything will be okay from my health, schedule and future. Right now, my time is tight. I’m just thinking that these days are just one of those days that will turned out to be a snap. Lesson I’ve learned these days is to take care of your body well because it maybe easy for you to advice to someone else but when it comes to you, iba na! You see, the power of mind to self diagnose make things complicated, anu pa kaya kung medically inclined ka na tao gaya ko? Huhuh… Can I have that YOLO personality? Its like one of those moments you’ll realise its the simplest things na bakit d ako kumain ng maayos, be better in handling things which I mean stress and more. Sometimes tahma nga sabi nila nasa huli ang pagsisi. But honestly, I’m not a good stress handler. I’m a worrier! Oh Lord. Health is wealth. Don’t wait for the things to be hard when it comes to health. Right now, My eating habits are doing well. I’m eating more…

Thanks for the cuddles buddy ☺️

Writing things is one of my coping mechanisms. Its because my mind is free to write whatever I feel without no one judging me. Letting things flow and exhale. But to someone reading this please do know :

I felt that! I mean not the suicidal thingy but the title she wrote!

My first Coffee Farm Tour!

December 12, 2021

I was lucky enough to have the chance to visit a coffee farm here in Davao. Thank you Sir Beau, Doc Shair, Doc Allison, Sir Wence and Brandy for the experience. This experience reminds me of my high school days. Climbing mountains to visit homes and share some blessings, hehehe...

To see people working hard with their perseverance always amazes me. I love this experience because it was nice to see how a coffee roaster relationship with coffee farmers. Its like being hands on with the things you love. 

If I had given the chance someday, I would like see the harvest season of coffee, from meticulously picking the best beans up to the fermentation process. Would that be great? Hahah... 

Slowly, things are beginning to sinking in without me pushing the facts that I needed to go. People are getting more excited for me. Should I be happy? Pero yes nah, it’s great to see that people are happy than being sad and emotional,Hahaha..

I just want to live in the moment and one day at a time now because I know these moments will not be repeated again. I don’t want any regrets and what ifs. My heart is full of gratitude to all of you. What did I deserved to meet people whose been kind to me? You didn’t know but you made something different to me and that’s realization. This month was full of love and blessings. Thank you for having the time to meet me even I know that everyone is busy with their lives. Thank you ~

To someone reading this now, Thank you! 

This is not goodbye but see you soon. I’ll always love the line: “I’ll wait for you”. Cheesy bah?hahaha.. Pero seriously, Hihintayin ko kayo if pupunta kayo duon,haha... Kamu sa adjust ha kay Poorita mode on ta pag-naa na didto, Need to save a lot of datungs,hahaha..

5 Out of 5

This book made me cry, I mean literally! 

The story tells about a boy who was born with Alexiythymia, or the inability to identify and express one’s feeling. The boy lived with her mother and granny. They had a small bookstore in there neighborhood as their livelihood. Both her granny and mom taught him about life and how to react on certain situations so that people may think he is just like everyone else. One tragic incident happened on Christmas Eve, a massacre happened. Both his granny and mom are victims. His grandma died while his mother stayed comatose after that incident. He raised himself with the help of insurance on which her grandma left him and he continually runs their bookstore. He met his neighbour, Mr. Shin, who owns and runs a small bakery above their bookstore and he is his mom’s friend. He knows about his situation and help him around whatever advices he seeks. 

One day a man approach him, asking if he could act as the missing son he and his dying wife was searching for. At first he was hesitant but later on decided to say yes.  Eventually, the man’s wife died and sometime the man was able to meet his real son whose name is Gon for which later became his friend. Gon was a rebel because since he was young he suffered from mistreatment. After time, Gon started to know about his situation and tried to help him about empathy training. However, their friendship had some turmoil as he began to discover love. Gon began to envy his closeness with a girl and eventually return to his old habits of being a rebel. Gon started to missed his classes and join again his previous gang. One day as he was searching for Gon to convince him to be back at school, he encountered his friend and his friend became hostile against them as he is known to have a bad record. Afraid that they might report him to the police that he decided to try to kill them. At that situation his emotion start to fill up. Luckily, Gon’s father arrive and saved them. 

You may wonder why the title of the book was Almond, its because the shape of our brain who controls our emotions and feeling does resembles an Almond.