#funsized life

Traveling  through the dark I found a deer

dead on the edge of the Wilson River road.

It is usually best to roll them into the canyon:

that road is narrow; to swerve might make more dead.

By glow of the tail-light I stumbled back of the car

and stood by the heap, a doe, a recent killing;

she had stiffened already, almost cold.

I dragged her off; she was large in the belly.

My fingers touching her side brought me the reason--

her side was warm; her fawn lay there waiting,

alive, still, never to be born.

Beside that mountain road I hesitated.

The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights;

under the hood purred the steady engine.

I stood in the glare of the warm exhaust turning red;

around our group I could hear the wilderness listen.

I thought hard for us all--my only swerving--,

Well, son, I’ll tell you;

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it, 

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor--

Bare,

But all the time,

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

ANd reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now--

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

Before you know what kindess really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

It is I you have been looking for;

and then goes with you everywhere

Blargh..

School started last week (Sept 8), and I’ve been swamped with a (my) lifetime’s worth of reading for all my classes. And the fact that I didn’t get into the class I wanted was just a huge bummer. 

For this term, the courses i”m taking are:

Psychology 101: Introduction to Biological and Cognitive Psychology

Words 150: Research and Writing in the Humanities and Social Sciences

Philosophy 220A: Symbolic Logic I

Originally, I wasn’t in the WRDS 150 class. I was in this class called ASTU 400A (Art Studies) - Interdisciplinary Studies in Arts - Knowledge Making. What I didn’t know was that it was a class for student with experience in research writing.. AND I HAD NONE. my life was kind of screwed at the time and I struggled with getting out of it.But an angel may have been looking out for me and got annoyed with my complaints, and emptied a spot in the WRDS 150 class. Now, WRDS 150 is a research writing class too, but its like a beginner kind of thing. Another dreadful fact about the ASTU 400 was that it involved standing in front of the class to discuss a research paper... and I dont do that. NO. soo, yea... thank God I got out of that class. Bwahahha!

Psychology and Philosophy are classes that, unexpectedly, got me very intrigued. I just love that they’re so interesting and they make me question a lot of things. I like that. 

I can already tell that this term (and most likely the next is going to be busy to say the least), with all the readings, and possible job that I’m getting (I’m waiting for them to call me back), and all the AWESOME GAME RELEASES THIS YEAR!

Now,, if you’re a gamer, you’d probably know that Destiny: The Taken King came out yesterday. 

My online friends had a few gripes, but overall, IT WAS AWESOME. The “Taken” enemies and their unique abilities gave a really different feel to it. And I have to honestly say, that I was scared for my life when I did the first story mission. It’s great. All we’re waiting for right now I guess is the release of the raid which is, I believe, on Friday...? and kill ORYX! 

Other games I have pre-ordered are:

Black Ops III (Nov 6)

Admittedly, I’ve never played a Call of Duty game until the Black Ops III Beta came out. My friends have been telling me that the ‘zombies’ section of the games are fun to do. And that is one of the things I’m looking forward to.

Fall out 4 (Nov 10?)

Like Black Ops III, never played a Fallout game before neither.They tell me that the stories are great so, I’m looking out for that.

I would include one more thing, but it’s really not pre-ordered. I got my self the Last of Us Remastered. My friend says it’s an awesome game with an amazing story line which got me excited about it. <3

But yea, all in all, that’s what’s been going on. I’ve been reading, eating, going to school, gaming, and sleeping! YAY!! ahahah.. huhuhuh... blargh.. -.-

If you game on a PS4, hit me up! maybe we can play crucible together and kill some Guardians or do a story mission and vanquish some “Taken.”

PSN: Nixeris

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height 

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight 

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. 

I love thee to the level of everyday's 

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. 

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; 

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. 

I love thee with the passion put to use 

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. 

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose 

With my lost saints -- I love thee with the breath, 

Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,