First Session of Funposter Parliament Since Reshuffle Opens with Record Low Injuries
- Independent members of parliament reassert domination of the floor
- Inspite row resulting in the resignation of Nazbol Party Leader, membership of Nazbol Party triples
- Holocaust Survivors & Grown-Up Green Leaf Party loses seat, MP leaves to start “Everyone is Gay” Party with address to the house
- Several independent MPs treated for various blunt trauma and bullet wound injuries resulting from several concurrent scuffles that eventually forced an evacuation of the hall
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After over a year of near function and absent oversight from the Crown and her royal handlers (MOOOOOODS), Funposter Parliament reconvened today in as expected disarray.
Inspite of repeated appeals by the reigning monarch, Prat, for the independent members to coalesce into parties for the sake of order, it only seemed to bolster the contrarian attitudes of the MPs as the hall began to fill with uproar that would continue to ebb and flow for the rest of the evening as fights eventually broke out. Prat’s appeal came to an abrupt end as an anon burst from the crowd, charging toward the monarch’s chair, prompting their seizure and removal by Serjeant-at-arms, toxic toothpick.
This follows the collapse of the Nazbol Party leadership, as their previous leader had abdicated their post and disappeared after sending dick pics and sexual innuendo to Prat’s tumblr chat feature. Inspite of this, the Nazbol Party has grown in size, coming to match in size of elected officials, the largest party in the house, the Furfriends United, which has enjoyed the distinction of the most cohesive force in Parliament since merger with the Zaush Fanclub.
Other major changes include the loss of the Holocaust Survivors & Grown-up Green Leaf Party’s seat with their sole MP, hot take, striking out on their own to establish the “Everyone Is Gay” party. Hot Take’s announcement began with a bold statement, shouting over the rising cacophony in the hall, that “Everyone Is Gay”, serving immediately to drive the house into more uproar and the beginnings of the first fisticuffs and open seat brawling.
Longtime Prominent independent MP Drethelin took the opportunity to climb over the heads of other members to the table of the house, where he declared the establishment of the Groucho Marx party. The floor quickly devolved to a sort of King Of The Hill arrangement with all independent and party members clawing and punching eachother to clamber to the Speaker’s Chair, with the “hill” being defended from other independents by Hot Take, Drethelin, the Lolbergtarian party’s Space Cowboy and the /co/llective’s MoiHemmo.
In quick succession soon after, gunfire opened up in the hall and before the gunposter could be identified, a crosspost from the furry containment room was lobbed onto the floor, forcing an immediate evacuation of all members of parliament and clerks of the parliament.
Outside the building, members were seen congratulating eachother for a successful session of Parliament
