Fandom likes to joke about burning trash heaps and trash fires. Did you know an area roughly the size of France, made of trash, has formed in the Pacific Ocean? LADBible and the Plastic Oceans Foundation are taking this country-sized trash patch and turning it into the world’s 196th country – named the Trash Isles.

Al Gore has agreed to become the country’s first honorary citizen. They’ve also submitted a Declaration of Independence to the United Nations, but they still need people to sign up to “become a citizen”:

If we become a country and a member of the UN, we are protected by the UN’s Environmental Charters, which state....

“All members shall co-operate in a spirit of global partnership to conserve, protect and restore the health and integrity of the earth’s ecosystem”

Which in a nutshell means that by becoming a country, other countries are obliged to clean us up.

- fuck colonialism!

- fuck imperialism!

- fuck c0ps!

- fuck the patriarchy!

- fuck the tories!

- fuck UKIP!

- fuck Brexit!

- fuck homophobes!

- fuck transphobes!

- that includes terfs!

- fuck racists!

- fuck ableists!

- fuck classists!

- fuck antivaxxers!

- fuck organised religion!

- fuck p3dos and anyone else who doesn't respect consent!

- fuck anyone that places their worth above anyone elses based on some inconsequential bullshit and/or decides not to take sides because they're "not political"!

I just moved into my own place and you're a friendly older neighbour living across the street. I'm kind of small and not that strong, and you see me through the window struggling to set everything up by myself. After a long day I'm sweaty and tired and hop in the shower, washing myself off, but I totally forgot that I dont have curtains or blinds yet - you can see me stand there oblivious with my back to the window, water spilling over my butt, and you feel yourself get hard. You quickly turn your lights out and take out the zoom lens on your phone, and begin filming me massage the shower cream into various parts of my body. You think how soft I must feel, and begin to stroke yourself, imagining sliding your cock between my butt cheeks. I turn around, facing the window, and absent mindedly rub shower cream on my chest. I begin to touch my nipples a little. You wouldn't really be able to slide your cock between my tits, you think, they're too small. But that's not an issue for you and you keep jerking off as you see me slide one hand below my belly button.

Suddenly you see me make a shocked face as I duck out of the way of the window, then peek round the window frame to see if anyone is around. You laugh to yourself as I dont seem to have seen you, but you get a little frustrated that you didn't get to see more. You rewatch your recorded clip and wish you could have got more detail, so you find some videos of girls who look like me to finish yourself off.

You see me the next day carrying some large bags out of a taxi. I'm not doing a very good job at keeping hold of them, and something small and pink falls out of one. You decide now is a great moment to take a walk, and go outside. You see a light switch flicker on inside, confirming my location, and quickly snatch the item on the ground to put in your pocket. You walk quickly round the block then return home to take a closer look at your find.

Little pink panties, with a Hello Kitty motif and hearts printed all over, lacy edges and a bow in the middle. You feel your cock twitch again and inspect the fabric. You rub it between your fingers - it's soft and smooth, and you imagine what it must feel like covering my pussy. You're getting hard again. You pull and stretch at them, visualising the size of my hips and butt. You look out of the window, but by now I've put my curtains up and you cant see anything. You feel a little resentful - you want to have what you're craving. You put the panties down, put your phone down next to them playing the video of me in the shower, and jerk off hard and fast. You keep your cock pointed at my panties and imagine me in them, so that when you cum you shoot your load all over them, covering them in you.

You dont see much of me for a couple of days. Then you see a truck pull up outside my place - it's a furniture brand. A man gets out of the driver's seat and takes some large flat boxes out of the truck to place by my front door, and you see me open the door to let him in. I look tiny next to him and it's obvious I could never carry them inside by myself, so you see the man pick the boxes up again and take them inside. You take a look at my miniskirt and cami top. The delivery man leaves and you see him looking too. The truck leaves; you decide to be a good neighbour and come say hello. You want to see me more closely.

You knock and wait for me to answer. I open the door, looking a little confused, tucking my hair behind my ear. Already flustered - perfect, you think. You look down at me, realising you can see the outline of my nipples. You introduce yourself and explain that you live across the street, and that you just thought you'd say hi...but wasn't that truck from that furniture place? And dont you have to put those things together yourself? I half heartedly reply that yes it is, and I'm about to put it together so I should really go. You interrupt me to joke that that must be why I look so flustered and ask what it is, and I nervously reply that it's just some shelves. You say you can put that together for me in no time if I'd like. I look a little more nervous and make an excuse that I dont want you to go to any trouble, and begin to back away. You ask if I'm sure, and step forward. I begin to reply and close the door a little, and you know I'm not going to say yes, so you step right in and push the door back at me, stating you just cant leave that work to a young delicate lady such as myself.

I'm visibly stunned but smile a little and slowly close the door behind me. You ask where it all is and I carefully step past you to lead you to the correct room - as I do, you catch my strawberry and vanilla scent, and you watch my butt as you follow behind me. I gesture into a room and you look inside to see it's a bedroom. Not much is set up, but theres a large bed covered in plushies, a dresser covered in makeup and nail polishes, some of those bags of clothing earlier are spilling open with all kinds of skirts and lacy things falling out. Your bedroom, I ask, and I seem embarrassed as I nod.

"Nothing to be shy about," you say. "I'll help you out. Just think of me as your daddy."

As you're working on the shelves, im hovering by the door looking nervous the whole time. You maneuver yourself to "accidentally" knock a screwdriver over towards me and under a chair behind me, and ask if I could grab it for you. I think for a moment before crouching to get it, but it's gone a little too far under. You see me struggle to lean under the chair to pick it up while holding my skirt in place, but the screwdriver is too far and my skirt is too short. You catch a glimpse of two soft folds underneath heart print panties, before it disappears under my skirt again. I resurface looking a little red and come back to hand you the screwdriver - your fingers clasp mine as you take it and thank me. Nearly done, you assure me. At this point I'm more embarrassed about bending over in front of you than I am about leaving a grown man alone in my bedroom, and leave to wait in the lounge.

You finish the shelves in a few minutes, and hear me rustling through some things down the hall. You take a moment to open my drawers and see more character print panties, little pink bras, and cute socks. You bite your lip to collect yourself and call me into the room - I look relieved to see the shelves fully built. You ask me where I want them and push them against the wall where I pointed, easily lifting the furniture and pushing it into place. You turn around to see me smile and relax a little, and thank you for your help.

"Its no problem," you say, looking at me with the bed behind me. You look me up and down and think about pushing me backwards onto it. Casually, you step to the side a little, towards the door. I step closer to you, thinking you're leaving, but you stop and turn around again. "I hope we'll get on well as neighbours then?"

I'm a little surprised. "O-of course! Really appreciate the help!"

You take another step to the side, standing between me and the door, and I stop smiling. You casually close the door and turn back towards me. "Oh, I almost forgot." I take a step back.

I look nervous again, but smile a tiny bit. It's as if I'm trying to convince myself you still mean something innocent. "What is it?"

"Well," you start. You take your phone out of your pocket. "It's just...I thought you should know that I could see into your bathroom the other day."

You show me the video of my shower and my eyes widen. I step back and stutter a little.

"Now dont worry, theres no need to be scared," you say. "Its just you ought to be more careful. It can be dangerous and I'm just letting you know so you can take better care in future." My eyes dart around the room. "What if this got out?"

Now I look terrified and I'm shaking my head. I flinch and whimper as you firmly touch my face and grasp my jaw. "You dont want it to get out, right?"

"N-n-no..."

"Of course not," you say, slipping your phone back into what space is left in your pocket after you've gotten hard. "Now...I'll keep it safe for you. I told you I'd look out for you didn't I? And to think of me as your daddy." You keep hold of my jaw with one hand and begin to u buckle your belt with the other. My eyes well up a little and I stutter something again.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm just going to ask you a favour, since I did you a favour." Your cock is fighting your underwear for freedom and I whisper, "please no..."

You pat your pocket where your phone is. "Then I'll have to post this on the internet. Do you want that? I could find your family. I could send it to your parents." I'm whimpering quietly. "So you're going to do what I tell you then?"

I weakly nod. "What was that?" you ask.

"...Yes."

"Good girl." You let go of my jaw. The second you do, I try to dart under your arm and towards the door, but you step in front of me. I look up at you and you shake your head at me. "Keep your promises."

I step back and stand still, and you let your cock spring free. I look scared as you begin to stroke your length and look me up and down.

"Take off that top, wont you? I wanna see your cute little tits again."

I seem to have resigned myself to doing as you ask. Eyes downcast, I awkwardly pull at it, then pull it up and over my head. Your breathing gets heavier as you see my exposed nipples, and before I can do anything with my top, you hold your hand out expectantly. I'm confused for a moment so you gesture at what I'm holding, and I reluctantly hand you my cami. You sniff it before throwing it on the bed behind me.

"Now your panties."

I bend over as little as possible and shyly remove my panties, my hair falling into my face. You hold your hand out again and this time I already know what to do. You hold it to your face and breathe deeply, then lick the patch that was just touching my pussy. You begin to leak precum as you touch yourself. You look at me standing with my head lowered, bangs in my eyes, crossing my knees under my little plaid skirt, trying to hide my nipples with my hair and hands. You lift my chin to look at my face, and tell me, "Sit on the bed."

You step forward and I instinctively step back, falling backwards onto the bed. I clutch at my skirt to keep it from showing anything as you kneel down in front of me, between my ankles. I move backwards, as far as I can to get away from you, but reach the wall and my collection of teddybears and plushies. You laugh a little and keep slowly jerking yourself.

"Now spread those legs sweetie."

For a moment I dont move.

"Or do I have to push them?"

I slowly move my feet to the side, keeping my knees together, still holding my skirt down with one hand and covering my chest with the other. You smirk at my embarrassment and look expectantly until I move my knees apart too. I push my skirt down over my pussy.

"Now lift up your skirt. Let me see."

A tear rolls down my face as I slowly and reluctantly clutch at my skirt, lifting it just high enough for you to see my bald pussy. You let out a low growl.

"Keep your legs like that," you tell me, smirking and using your precum to lube your cock. "Now daddy needs you to take your hand off your tits and use both hands to hold onto your skirt."

I uncover my nipples and clutch the hem of my skirt, instinctively pulling it a little lower.

"Pull it higher again. Now hold onto it tight and let me take a look."

I hold tighter and you bring a hand between my legs. I whimper and flinch as you touch my lips, spreading a drop of wetness as you run your finger slowly up and down.

"Legs wider." I whimper again and try to force myself to obey, spreading my legs more. It's just enough that my lips part and you can see just how pink I am. You unintentionally buck your hips up and into your hand as you keep stroking your huge cock, and gently touch my pussy and clit with your other hand. You look at me, scared and shaking. You poke one finger inside and listen to me gasp as you slowly rub the inside of my pussy. My legs snap closer again but you stop stroking yourself and hold my knee in place.

"You're very wet there," you say, leaning a little closer. "Keep still." You put in another finger and I let out a tiny sound, somewhere between a whimper and a moan. Your cock twitches with excitement and you lean over me to lick my tits, wet lines from the bottom of my tiny breast up to the nipple and down again, then the same on the other side. You can hear and feel me quivering with fear. You sit back again to look at me.

"Dont be scared, sweetie. You're gonna love it."

You take both my wrists in one hand, pin them above my head, spread my pussy open with your other hand and begin to slide your cock up and down over my lips and clit. You move down and push the tip of your cock into me. You moan and growl at how tight and wet and warm I am, moving a tiny bit. You use both hands to spread my legs apart and push your way in further as I make more of my little noises. You begin to slide in and out, slowly, making sure I feel every inch of every thrust as fully as possible. You feel me get wetter and hotter around your cock. I begin to try to cover myself with my hands again so you lift my ankles onto your shoulders and hold both my wrists either side of my head, looking down at me as you fuck me. My little tits bounce and I cant move at all, as you fuck me a little faster, a little harder, a little faster again. My noises are getting a little loud so you clamp your hand over my mouth. "Shhhhh...this is your favour for me, remember?" You keep going and after a while move your hand to my butt, holding me in place as you pound into me. I turn my head to the side and you bring your hand back up to hold my jaw and make me look you in the eye.

"I'm gonna cum," you say. "I'm gonna cum so hard all inside you, you're gonna be full up of me."

I close my eyes and you kiss me forcefully, pushing your tongue into my mouth and onto mine. The force of your kiss keeps my head in place, your hands hold my wrists in place, and the force of your thrusts and the sheer weight of you leaves no room for me to move at all. I have no choice but to feel you growl and moan into my mouth as you tighten your grip on me and empty your load inside me, ramming up into my pussy and making sure I take it all.

As you calm, you look at me and smile again at my embarrassment. "Good girl," you say right into my ear. You sit back and stretch your neck a little, your cock still inside me. You pull out and watch your cum pour out of me and onto the back of my skirt.

"Good girl," you say again. You stand up and look at me as you put your boxers, jeans and belt back into place like nothing happened. You look at the shelves you built for me earlier, then back at me.