#ftloam

Bill doesn’t sleep that night. He’s still awake when his mother gets home from work, some time after nine. She doesn’t come to check on him, like she used to before Georgie. He’s stopped expecting it. His eyes are still staring up at his bedroom ceiling when his father finally crawls home, hours later. A twisted repeat of the clown’s words plays over and over in his head, until they begin to blur together.

 “You’ll come float with Us.”

What had the clown meant by that? Why had It referred to itself as ‘Us’? He runs over it again and again, but can’t seem to make sense of it. He tells himself he doesn’t understand why It singled him out. Why It chose him, over the other Losers. Only, he does. That part makes sense, at least. He’s their leader, had lead every attack against the clown. He doesn’t believe that’s the only thing, though. Something about him made It single him out.

It makes sense and doesn’t at the same time. A headache starts to form between his eyes, his mind trying to think it through. His body feels drained, eyes are burning, but still his brain goes on. The sun is beginning to light his room when he decides enough is enough. If he can’t sleep, he’ll go out. He waits for the sound of his father snoring before he climbs out of bed. Their lack of care doesn’t mean the man won’t be angry if he’s woken up.

As quietly as he can manage, Bill gets dressed, carrying his shoes down with him to lessen any sounds. He pulls the door closed, and locks up behind himself, putting his shoes on once he’s done. He jumps on Silver, and then he’s gone. Bill’s not sure where he’s headed, but rules out both the quarry and the hideout as he rides. There’s a chance that one of his friends has also had a sleepless night, and he doesn’t want to run into any of them. He takes random turns, going down roads that seem different in the light gray of dawn. Though they might not have been random after all, with where he ends up.

His heartbeat quickens at first, when he realizes where he’s lead himself. It figures, that he’d end up here, of all places. The familiar, decrepit outline of Neibolt house looms before him. Bill stops his bike as he reaches the gate. He takes a moment, wars with himself inside his head. He’s shaking with nerves, but not fear when he walks up to the door. Never fear. With a deep, steadying breath, he opens the door.

He expects some fanfare when he walks into the house. Some creepy noise, or the sound of Georgie, as much as he hates it. Something to let him know where It was, because there was no doubt in Bill’s mind that the clown was also here. There’s only dark and quiet. The floor creaks as he makes his way further inside, pushing the door closed behind him. He leaves a small crack, some half-brained idea that the dim light from outside would help him.

His steps are soft, and he’s halfway through the house when the hairs on his body stand on end. Someone is watching him. It is watching him. He’s no longer anxious, or mad. The anger from last night seems years away. Now, he’s only tired.

“Billy”, It says from behind him. He doesn’t startle, and wonders if that says something about him. It’s so close he can smell a combination of popcorn and rotting meat, yet he feels nothing. If he’s honest with himself, he’s ready for this to finally be over. He takes a deep breath, and turns to confront the clown. He gets only a glimpse of the gory clown suit before he’s being pulled to It. He’s ready for this, willing to be eaten to save his friends. To bring Georgie back. They’ll be safe, and won’t even have the painful memory of losing him. He’s going to die for them, but a part of him is glad the fighting is over.

When Bill wakes the next morning, the sun is beginning to bake his room. The sweat that clings to his skin makes him shiver and yearn for a shower. He stretches and slides out of bed, grabbing clothes on the way to his bathroom. While Bill is in the shower, he attempts to shake the feeling he’s forgotten something important. What could be more important than a fucking killer clown?

Once Bill has showered and clothed himself, he heads down stairs. He’d noticed how quiet the house was, but the money and note left on the counter is what lets him know. His parents both left early and neither would be back until later in the evening. I guess it’s easier to avoid your kid when you don’t actually have to talk to them.

Before Bill gets too caught up in his thoughts, the phone rings, and he’s thankful for the distraction.

“H-hello?” he answers after the second ring.

“Fucking finally. I’ve tried calling you like a gazillion times!” Richie’s voice greets him.

“D-don’t be s-so dr-dramatic, R-r-richie.”

“Whatever,” Bill can clearly picture Richie rolling his eyes, “Are you ready fucknut?”

Bill’s sense of urgency returns, and he feels too exposed in the empty house. He’d wanted to eat something before leaving, but his hunger is gone.

“Y-yeah, leaving n-now,” he replies, jamming his feet in his shoes. “B-be there i-in f-fifteen.”  

He hangs up without waiting for a response, locking up on his way out. With his parents gone, he has no one to tell where he’ll be. They likely wouldn’t care either way.

OOOOO

 Pennywise watches, hidden in the shadows, as Billy leaves the house. It kept an eye on him, all through the night. Watched as It’s Billy tossed and turned in his sleep, dreaming dreams It had left with him. It had been there to hear him on the phone, and knew when Billy began to sense It. How It longed to show Itself, finally have It’s moment with the human. While It grew impatient, It knew the wait was over soon. It would sleep again, but before that, It would have Billy.

OOOOO

When Bill stops his bike at the hideout, six are already there. The sound of arguing is already clear from where he’s standing. He calls down into the entrance, not wanting to startle his friends, and the arguing stops.  

Probably Richie and Eddie.

“I-I’m c-coming down, g-guys,” he gives the others time to move out the way, and climbs down.  

“Hey Bill,” Mike greets him when he reaches the bottom. His large hand claps Bill on the back once and then is gone.

“H-hey,” he greets back, smiling lightly at his friend. He looks around at the others and sees they’ve all found things to do while waiting on him. One look at Richie and Eddie near the hammock let’s him know he’s right about the arguing.  

“I know,” Mike says, drawing back Bill’s attention, “It’s been years but everything still looks the same.” While his thoughts weren’t quite where his friend assumed, Bill agrees.

“You know, didn’t comment on it yesterday ‘cause I was fucking terrified, but this place is a wreck.”

Leave it to Richie to ruin the moment.

“We haven’t been here in a long time,” Bev speaks up, “It’s been, what, three years?”

“Well three years is plenty of time for this place to look like a shithole,” Richie retorts, cue eye roll.

While he’s missed his friends, Bill thinks it’s time to get down to why they came here. He finds an empty, sturdy (ish) bucket and sits down. When he looks back up, ready to speak, he startles to see they’re all looking at him. Even Richie and Eddie have stopped their bickering and are sitting next to each other in the hammock.

“S-so,” his voice comes out weaker than he’d expected, and he clears his throat, begins again.

“S-so, h-has a-anyone seen I-i-i-it?” He holds back for a moment, though isn’t sure why. He’d seen it, however fleeting the encounter. Something in him tells him to wait, and he listens.

“No,” Stan speaks up, and Bill is both surprised and relieved at his answer. Stan is the easiest target among them, and Bill is grateful It so far hasn’t gone after him.

“None of us have,” Ben says, and it surprises Bill for a different reason. “We talked about it, before you got here.”

“Have you?” Bev asks, and Bill knows he could answer honestly. Knows that he could tell them the truth and every person there would be behind him. No matter how scared they were themselves, they’d always have his back. He hesitates for a moment, but it isn’t hard to decide what to tell them.

“N-no,” he replies, but can’t bring himself to meet her eyes. He’s worried she’ll be able to tell he’s lying if he does. There must be a reason It only showed itself to Bill, though. Until he figures out why, he refuses to bring the people he cares about into it.

After he answers, it’s as if a collective breath being held is released. He allows himself a moment of sick guilt, then straightens his shoulders.  

“H-how a-about we g-go for a-a sw-swim?” he asks, knowing his friends would all agree, despite Eddie’s usual complaints. Sure enough, they’re already moving toward the exit. As far as distractions go, it’s a win.

When he walks past Mike, getting ready to climb out himself, he notices the way Mike looks at him. Maybe he’d seen Bill hesitate? Bill is a bit worried, but in the end only smiles. The moment breaks when he turns to climb. He hopes that Mike keeps whatever suspicions he might have to himself.

OOOOO

When Bill gets home late that afternoon, the house is empty. He’d expected nothing less, but the quiet of the house is a shock after the warm vibe he’s had all day. Despite feeling weighed down with guilt to start with, he’d enjoyed the time spent with his friends. Now, he flicks on several lights and turns the radio on in an attempt to chase the feeling.

He’s hungry, started to regret skipping out on breakfast two hours before. A familiar tune comes on the radio, and he dances and sings along a bit while he makes a couple sandwiches. He’s halfway through his second one when the lights cut off, radio going silent. The late afternoon sun is no longer enough light to see with, and his eyes take a moment to adjust to the dimness.  

He half ponders checking the breaker, but gets a familiar feeling that makes his hair stand on end. He knows nothing tripped the breaker, and he now has a much unwanted visitor. Though he’d been expecting something, the childish giggle still startles him. Out the corner of his eye, he sees a flash of yellow glide past the kitchen doorway.

 Why is it always Georgie?

Yet, he knows exactly why. He knows that it’s fruitless, but he will always chase after Georgie. For what he did, he’ll always try to save his baby brother. No matter how in vain.

There’s nothing in the living room when he gets there, but the sound of feet above his head leads him to the stairs. He hesitates there, remembers that this is exactly what It wants. Slowly, he climbs the stairs one at a time. Checking Georgie’s room first reveals that it’s empty. He makes his way over to his room, the door closed even though he knows he left it open. Turning the handle, Bill opens the door.

He’s standing in a corner, farthest away from Bill. The yellow slicker is filthy, a testament to the time the boy’s been gone. Bill holds back a gag when he realizes most of Georgie’s left arm is gone. All that’s left is a mangled, dripping mess. He pauses when he notices that Georgie is crying.

“G-Georgie? Wh-what’s wr-wr-wrong?” he inches closer to the boy, not wanting the other to run again.

“Save me, Billy,” Georgie cries, and the sound of his voice tears Bill’s heart in half.

“H-how, G-Georgie? H-how d-do I s-save you?”  

He gets no answer, and before he realizes it, Georgie is around and past him. Straight out the door. Bill turns to follow him, is now crying himself, but the door slams hard in his face.  

The sun had continued to set, and when Bill turns around, the room is on its way to complete darkness. He can just see the outline of something tall- huge-  making its way toward him. He’s aware that he should be scared, there’s only one thing it could be after all. Right now, he’s only angry.

“Hiya, Billy!” the shrill voice of Pennywise greets him, and the room lightens enough for his human eyes to see. At least It’s considerate? Billy wonders why It wants him to see It, instead of terrorizing him in the dark. It would be easier, he thinks, wouldn’t it?

“W-what d-do y-you want?”  

He’s deep in his anger. Mad about everything this creature has ever done to him, his friends- his family. He grits his teeth when It only smiles at him, amused that he’s mad. It moves closer to him, but Bill stands his ground. When It brings It’s hands closer to his face, he flinches, sure that he’s about to lose an eye. Or his life. He’s more than a little confused when, instead of mauling or killing him, It grasps his face gently. He almost wished It had killed him, the tenderness of the touch overwhelming.  

“Oh, it’s not about what Pennywise wants, Silly Billy,” here Bill swears It caresses his face, and he’s starting to freak out. “It’s what you want.”

“Wh-what do you me-mean?” Pennywise looks at him, and It smiles the widest smile Bill’s seen on It yet. He must be seeing things, but it almost looks genuine to him.  

“Don’t you want Georgie back, Billy boy?” It stares him in the eye, and doesn’t blink once. Bill is drawn into the gaze, caught up in the way Its eyes glow. It’s almost...beautiful. That word snaps him out of the daze. He’s horrified with himself for thinking something like that for a creature that can and has killed. Many, many times over.

“B-but G-Georgie’s d-d-dead,” just saying the words makes Bill feel like his chest will cave in. “Y-y-you ki-killed h-him!”

Pennywise takes a step back from him when he yells, but doesn’t release him. There is still a thin, long-fingered hand cupping his chin in a loose grip. The grip tightens for a second, and Bill thinks It’s going to choke him, but It loosens Its hand once again. Leaning back in, Pennywise brings It’s face close to his.  

“What if We said We can bring him back?” Bill doesn’t understand why It’s calling itself ‘we’, but glosses over that when he registers what It was saying.  

“B-bring him b-back…,” Bills voice sounds broken even to himself, and he tells himself that this is a trick. There’s no way It could bring his brother back from the dead. A part of him holds out hope, though. If It’s capable of all the other things he’s seen, why not this? He feels sick, but he asks anyway.

“How?”

It laughs at his question, the sound high pitched and far from any laugh he’s heard before.  

“That’s a secret, Little One, one too complicated for you to understand." Bill feels miffed, finds himself wanting to know all the secrets this being holds. He’s not sure why he cares, only that he’s curious. His doubt that It can do it is gone, though, somehow he knows that It’s not spouting nonsense. He’s intrigued, and It can tell. It grins, like It can read his mind. Can tell that he’s close to giving in.  

“We’ll give you Georgie, and We’ll even promise not to hurt your friends.”  

The words sound too good to Billy, he wonders why It would give him all this to begin with. A thrill shoots through his body when he realizes that it’s not going to be for free.

“W-what’s the catch?” he asks, wondering if he can accept whatever the creature throws at him. What would and wouldn’t he do to have his brother back? To ensure that his friends are safe from this monster?

“Why, Billy boy,” It leans in, lips close to his, and Bill thinks that It’ll kiss him. He tries not to think about the mix of dread and anticipation he feels.